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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

I need a bit of advice from you cat experts!

69 replies

jamesdeandaydream · 21/12/2015 16:03

I've never had a cat and have a 15 month old dd. I've made the decision to get a cat. I have a few concerns though and was hoping you feline experts could help me out Xmas Smile

Is it a terrible idea getting a cat with a toddler?

Is the cat likely to scratch/attack dd?

People say my house will smell and that the cat will do its business wherever it likes. Is this true?

Should I go for a kitten or an adult cat?

Rescue centre or private seller such as Gumtree?

Thanks so much!

OP posts:
kimlo · 21/12/2015 19:23

Its incase your daughter hurts the cat I think. I have never had a cat hurt one of the dds, they are more likely to run away and hide if they get a fright.

I dont know why black and white cats are less popular, when i picked my first cat she had been in the shelter for over a year and the woman thanked me for choosing her saying she was always just overlooked and noone had ever shown any intrest. Not that she was grateful, she chose to move in to someone elses house a couple of years later Grin

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/12/2015 19:26

Ask thecatneuterer about it. There was a mner a while ago whose son threw the kitten through the banisters, she was advised to re-home so the kitten was harmed but I don't think she did.

B&W aren't perceived to be as pretty as torties or tabbies. So they get overlooked which is a shame as the ones I've met have been total lap cats.

bigbadbarry · 21/12/2015 19:27

I thought all blacks were the ones they struggled to home. My black and white boy looks just like felix (and irritatingly eats like him too, using his paw to throw it all over the floor rather than putting his head in!)
I know it goes against the usual advice here but when I wanted cats with very young children I got them from a family rather than a rescue. I wanted to make sure they were very used to small children - in fact I found a family with three under-fives, three dogs, a rabbit and about three cats! So the kittens were pretty bomb-proof.

ShutUpLegs · 21/12/2015 19:28

We have just taken in 2 kittens, 11 weeks, and my kids are both in primary. I am very glad we waited until they were that age before getting kittens. They (kittens not DC) are utterly mad and full-on as all small things are - so it helps a lot that the DC are the sensible part of the equation.

I'd go for a more sedate cat which is able to remove itself from harm's way if needed. Based on the experience of our two crazies, kittens would just make life hard for your toddler - and vice versa.

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 21/12/2015 19:31

I've always loved black and white cats, I had no idea they were so unpopular. I'm going to get a black one either way now! I'm guessing a 7 month old kitten is less excitable and hyper than a 10 week old one? I think dd would love the cat and when we see my friend's cat shes been very gentle with it.

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 21/12/2015 19:33

This prompted me to look at our local rescue.

Two cats
Two Guinea pigs
One rabbit
Four dogs.

Just the ones I would like....

DH said no. Meanie.

(Currently have two rescue cats, two rescue Guinea pigs, two fish).

Don't see dhs issue.

SpecialistSnowflake · 21/12/2015 19:35

It's definitely better to acquire the children and then the cat, than the other way around!

maybebabybee · 21/12/2015 19:38

I have two cats and a baby on the way...

Goingtobeawesome · 21/12/2015 19:56

I had my cat before I met my DH never mind had a child. She died after my kids were all born and now we have two new cats. Really doesn't matter which order you get them in!

Wolpertinger · 21/12/2015 20:00

I grew up with a cat that was there before I was. The cat and I developed our own relationship and the cat was surprisingly tolerant of being tormented by a toddler and put up with pestering from me, it would not have done from an adult. But cat was also clear when it had had enough - and you soon learn when that is!

7 month kittens are still pretty mental - I used to have hands covered in scratches from playing with them but I didn't mind, we were just playing. It's not that hard to stop them shredding furniture either.

Personally if you are going for kittens I'd always have two so they entertain each other, older cats are happier alone unless they have had a lifelong companion.

SpecialistSnowflake · 21/12/2015 20:02

Well I'm not saying it's a definite that cats can't handle a baby coming into a family, but I'm a fosterer and several of my cats have come to me because their owners said they couldn't cope with a new baby.

maybebabybee · 21/12/2015 20:05

Snowflake I'll be giving my baby away before I get rid of my cats! Grin

Goingtobeawesome · 21/12/2015 20:06

Lol that you believe that, snowflake. I suspect mostly it was an easy excuse..

Wolpertinger · 21/12/2015 20:28

Suspect it was owners stressed about their PFB rather than the cats Sad

SpecialistSnowflake · 21/12/2015 20:32

That may well be Goingtobeawesome but there's no point picking apart people's excuses - if they want rid of the cat, it's going, and I'd rather it was safely rehomed than despatched to the vet...

Jux · 21/12/2015 21:36

I'd get at least 2 of the 7m olds. They're old enough to have learnt all the social graces, will know about litter trays and toddlers.

Will you have a cat flap?
Are they fully innoculated?

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 21/12/2015 22:24

I can't get 2 out of 3 siblings and I can't get 3 because I don't have the space or money to home 3 unfortunately. They're up to date with all their jabs and flea/worming treatments so they're good to go.

So should I go for the kitten or wait for a cat? I'm so confused!

OP posts:
ENTirelyTrimmedUpForChristmas · 21/12/2015 22:39

You might find an adult cat happier to be on its own, but that's not to say a kitten wouldn't be fine, of course it might, plenty of people give a home to a single kitten.

The thing to do is think through how you imagine yourself with a cat, how it will fit into your home and routine, what you expect from it and what you're realistically prepared to give. Are you a bit of a soft touch? how easy are you about clawing, stealing, chewing?
Basically, how much impact do you want a pet to have on your lives and how much work do you want to put in?

By the way it's all black who come off worst in rehoming, black and white less so, others much more popular ,I think because they photograph better and perhaps look cuter. I foster cats who need new homes and have had four black cats myself. They've all been intelligent, very well behaved and have had really nice, gentle natures too.

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 21/12/2015 23:31

I'm not sure how a cat would fit into my home and routine because I've never had one before but I'm sure something will fall into place naturally. I might be naive but I think getting a cat will be great for both dd and me.

OP posts:
hiddenhome2 · 21/12/2015 23:55

Kittens adapt more easily to children and just teach the toddler not to touch. I had kittens and toddlers and never had any problems.

Tomboyinatutu · 22/12/2015 01:30

All 3 of my cats are black and white Grin. And not all cats struggle with a new baby in the family. I only had the one cat when I had my son and the cat didn't mind in the slightest. I am currently pregnant and I have no worries about my cats adjusting to the new arrival.

sashh · 22/12/2015 06:28

Another vote for a cat that is used to children. Much more tolerant and also you don't want a toddler to accidentally stamp on a kitten.

Don't give the cat milk - cats are lactose intolerant - they love milk, milk doesn't love them.

Original poster
jamesdeandaydream · 22/12/2015 09:06

Well call me crazy but in going to go for one of the black and white boys. They live with a toddler at the moment so they're used to being around small children and he's young enough for me to (hopefully) train him and get him used to dd!

OP posts:
JemimaMuddleDuck · 22/12/2015 09:45

Not a kitten but a cat who is used to children from a rescue centre. Please also make sure that the cat has his bed up high so he can escape from the toddler if he wants to. Cats prefer quiet and peaceful homes. It is important that you teach your LO to be gentle with the cat. Our cat came from a house with a toddler. He'd obviously been a bit battered as he kept biting us when we first got him. Much more settled now but does occasionally bite if you raise your hand above him as he must think he's about to get a toy whacked on his head!

moonbells · 22/12/2015 12:11

We had an elderly B&W cat when DS was born and we carefully put up child gates which were high enough for her to run under when being chased but too low for DS to follow! Worked well Grin. We lost her when DS was about 4 Sad and we rescued two new ones a couple of years back; one naughty tortie (the mum) and her last B&W male kitten (she had six when found by CP). So we had the best of both worlds - an adult and a kitten.

I would agree that neutered males are soppy creatures. Every single night Moonkitten (who is now massive) comes in the flap and yells. If we meow back (yes we're that daft) he comes in and jumps straight on one of us, curls up and purrs like a diesel. Mooncat is still aloof and only sits on me occasionally. Probably as well as she's horribly overweight despite us barely feeding her - we think she's the neighbourhood food thief and six-dinner sid!

But do not equate soft bugger behaviour with humans for likewise with other creatures. Not for nothing is Moonkitten known as the pigeonkiller... Shock

(And if you're getting a catflap, invest in a microchip one! Stops food raiders.Grin)

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