I need a bit of advice from you cat experts!

[jamesdeandaydream]

I've never had a cat and have a 15 month old dd. I've made the decision to get a cat. I have a few concerns though and was hoping you feline experts could help me out

Is it a terrible idea getting a cat with a toddler?

Is the cat likely to scratch/attack dd?

People say my house will smell and that the cat will do its business wherever it likes. Is this true?

Should I go for a kitten or an adult cat?

Rescue centre or private seller such as Gumtree?

Thanks so much!

[ENTirelyTrimmedUpForChristmas]

Any further forward yet OP?

[jamesdeandaydream]

Very exciting!

[jamesdeandaydream]

I'm torn. They're both beautiful and seem to have lovely temperaments. The 7 year old girl is black so is likely to struggle finding a new home which makes me want to go for her a bit more. I suppose I'll see how they react to dd today and take it from there!

[ENTirelyTrimmedUpForChristmas]

You can change a name yes.
Not sure about moulting as I groom ours a lot, both soft and wire brushes. They absolutely love it.

[jamesdeandaydream]

The 7 year old girl was previously owned by an elderly lady who recently passed away. She was also hit by a car when she was younger and has teeth missing and has a metal plate in her jaw. She's gorgeous. The fur thing puts me off more than the age does though.

[jamesdeandaydream]

This is a more trivial matter but is it possible to change the name of a rescue cat? The older one is beautiful but it's got a name I can't imagine using! It's not a huge issue I know. Also, the 7 year old cat seemed to be moulting quite a lot compared to the other cats. They were all short hair. Is this a sign that she'd always moult? I'll of course ask tomorrow.

[coffeeisnectar]

We have three cats, all rescues. The oldest is a boy of 14 and is very much his own cat, doesn't do laps although may grace us with his presence on the sofa on occasion. He likes being brushed and loves a good head rub.

Girl of 9 who is a complete lap cat, very affectionate and will sit on you all day quite happily.

The other girl is 2 and we've only had her a few weeks. She's crazy. My hands are ripped to ribbons from her teeth and claws but she's very attached to my 10 year old dd and follows her round the house.

I'd really suggest going to a homing centre and meeting some cats. We had chosen one from the cpl website but he wasn't suitable for us and ended up with the lap cat instead.

[Jux]

Yes, it's long term, even with a 7 yo. We've had quite a few cats who've lived to their late teens.

Get insurance. They don't need much vet care when they're young, but you'll be very very glad of it later. (We didn't, and are regretting it now.)

[Wolfiefan]

In terms of 7 year old our old girl lived to be 19.

[ENTirelyTrimmedUpForChristmas]

It's so hard to answer james. It really depends much more on temperament and their life experience to fit in with your circumstances.

We have a house cat that was a stray, so no history. We think he's at least 16, but we don't know anything before when he showed up as a fully grown adult.

Quite a lot of very successful adoptions I know of have been animals living a very sedate life with an elderly owner who's either gone into a care home, or sadly passed away. Without fail those older cats have been loving and very affectionate, but it's the luck of the draw really, so best to meet the animal, spend a little time together and go with gut instinct if you feel that pull towards them.

Don't be afraid to say no if you go and meet one who doesn't really appeal to you, it's a very long term commitment.

Ask the question of the rescue centre. If you don't gel together can you return the cat? if you take on a cat with health problems, will they continue to pay for the veterinary care? often they do that so that long term issues needn't be a handicap to rehoming.

Do look into insurance though.

[jamesdeandaydream]

I've just realised I never answered your question! Ideally I'd like one to come and snuggle on my lap but I don't mind if he wants to do his own thing either. As long as he generally has a good temperament then I'm happy. I'm so excited . There's another one I liked too but she was 7. Do you think that's a bit too old?

[ENTirelyTrimmedUpForChristmas]

Fingers crossed then. A 3 year old sounds like a good fit. Not kittenish but very young

[jamesdeandaydream]

Yeah he was so comfortable around me and I just knew he was the right one for us. He was neglected by his previous owner but he seems very loving and friendly. The woman at the rescue centre wants to see how he reacts to dd before we get him so fingers crossed all goes well.

[Fluffycloudland77]

What made you choose the 3yo? Did he choose you?.

[jamesdeandaydream]

I've been to see a lovely 3 year old rescue cat today called Nelson and I've fallen in love. Taking dd to meet him tomorrow to see how they get on and if everything's ok then I'll be getting him

[Jux]

One of ours thinks dh is god. She positively pines when he's out, even if he's just gone to the corner shop! When she hears his step on the drive she's there in the hall, ready and waiting.

Another is the Demon Queen; black as night she lurks in dark places and can only be seen by the glow of her green eyes. While she is rarely seen, her purr can be heard throughout the house.

The third is a soppy old tabby who dribbles a bit, but is sweet and gentle and really ought to be Top Cat but he can't be bothered.



Don't waste money on toys. A ball of wool, or a screw of paper tied on the end of a long string is quite adequate.

You'll need a litter tray and litter as he'll have to stay in for a few weeks until he knows he lives with you. You'll have to clean it daily until you've got him going outside and learnt how to use a cat flap. Or is he going to be an indoor cat?

[ENTirelyTrimmedUpForChristmas]

I'm not sure how a cat would fit into my home and routine because I've never had one before

What I meant by how a cat would fit in with your lifestyle is imagine what you'd like from it. Do you want one who comes running when you come in, or are you happy with one who stays put and only comes to you when it feels like it? Do you want one who likes to play? one who likes to lie on you or sit with you for some fuss? Some cats are quite vocal and some very quiet.
We have one who rushes in from outdoors like a mad thing and proceeds to give you full chapter and verse and we have another who slinks out and slinks back in and minds his own business
Those two are the same though that they don't want picking up or sitting with you, but they will be stroked when they're resting on their beds.
Another one loves fuss and will jump up on to me, sometimes when I'm least expecting it, and then settle down very comfortably.

[moonbells]

We had an elderly B&W cat when DS was born and we carefully put up child gates which were high enough for her to run under when being chased but too low for DS to follow! Worked well . We lost her when DS was about 4 and we rescued two new ones a couple of years back; one naughty tortie (the mum) and her last B&W male kitten (she had six when found by CP). So we had the best of both worlds - an adult and a kitten.

I would agree that neutered males are soppy creatures. Every single night Moonkitten (who is now massive) comes in the flap and yells. If we meow back (yes we're that daft) he comes in and jumps straight on one of us, curls up and purrs like a diesel. Mooncat is still aloof and only sits on me occasionally. Probably as well as she's horribly overweight despite us barely feeding her - we think she's the neighbourhood food thief and six-dinner sid!

But do not equate soft bugger behaviour with humans for likewise with other creatures. Not for nothing is Moonkitten known as the pigeonkiller...

(And if you're getting a catflap, invest in a microchip one! Stops food raiders.)

[JemimaMuddleDuck]

Not a kitten but a cat who is used to children from a rescue centre. Please also make sure that the cat has his bed up high so he can escape from the toddler if he wants to. Cats prefer quiet and peaceful homes. It is important that you teach your LO to be gentle with the cat. Our cat came from a house with a toddler. He'd obviously been a bit battered as he kept biting us when we first got him. Much more settled now but does occasionally bite if you raise your hand above him as he must think he's about to get a toy whacked on his head!

[jamesdeandaydream]

Well call me crazy but in going to go for one of the black and white boys. They live with a toddler at the moment so they're used to being around small children and he's young enough for me to (hopefully) train him and get him used to dd!

[sashh]

Another vote for a cat that is used to children. Much more tolerant and also you don't want a toddler to accidentally stamp on a kitten.

Don't give the cat milk - cats are lactose intolerant - they love milk, milk doesn't love them.

[Tomboyinatutu]

All 3 of my cats are black and white . And not all cats struggle with a new baby in the family. I only had the one cat when I had my son and the cat didn't mind in the slightest. I am currently pregnant and I have no worries about my cats adjusting to the new arrival.

[hiddenhome2]

Kittens adapt more easily to children and just teach the toddler not to touch. I had kittens and toddlers and never had any problems.