One of my cats has taken to pissing on my hob and shitting on the worktop...

[KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes]

Hygienic, yes?

She's seen a vet. She's not ill, she's just annoying.

Weird cat.

What do I doooooo?? It's driving me batshit crazy. It's just not convenient.

Halp!!

Tin foil I can do, I'll do that now.

I have no lemon zest. Will an elderly Jif lemon do?

I bet it's the new spray, I had this when I changed floor cleaner. Method sprays don't appear to invite a toilet tour.

I'll go out tomorrow and get myself some lemon scented cleaning products.

Actually like shopping for cleaning products. Sad case.

Not really that keen on lemony smells but it's better than shit and piss.

Lemon scent only works if it's actual lemon, not synthetic. Look for ammonia and bleach free.

PS more kitten photos please?

So I need to rub my kitchen down with actual lemons?

FML

OMG I'm coming to steal those kittens while you go shopping. So cute!

Behaviour is always communication. Your cat has changed her behaviour because something has unnerved her. It might be the new surface spray and she may be trying to 'mask' it with her own scent but it would be more usual for a cat to 'spray' urine to do this and not to defecate, so it may also be one of a million other things

Attempting to 'block' her inappropriate elimination rather than treat the root cause usually just means she'll find a new (inappropriate) place to go. Its worth looking at the ISFM guidelines icatcare.org/advice/problem-behaviour/soiling-indoors

"Deterrents, such as tin foil, pepper, citrus peel or a water pistol will merely redirect the behaviour to another site, cause further anxiety and delay investigating the root cause for the behaviour."

How many litter trays do you have? With 3 cats you need at least 4 trays and they should be in areas that are easily accessible and where one cat cannot dominate the preferred trays. They also need to be cleaned regularly as some cats will refuse to use an already soiled tray (sorry if thats really obvious!)

Definitely read the ISFM article above as it has useful evidence-based guidance

Ah, they're long gone.

All found lovely humans and settled down.

I've used my photo allowance or I'd post more.

If the tin foil doesn't work then strips of sellotape sticky side up might.

Please don't block the behaviour by using deterrents - you risk making it worse - she's not being 'naughty', she's being stressed

When I watched a cat whisperer programme with a cat doing this it was due to a new neighbourhood cat which had unnerved the shitter. The owners had to make their garden and also their house more cat friendly with bushes to hide in. Lots of cat perches, scratching posts, boxes, etc in the house.

She's adorable, so much so you'd forgive her anything (almost... Not shitting on the worksurfaces though)
Have you changed her food recently? Or are you cooking something new to the house, maybe you've introduced new spices to your own cooking that she disapproves off? I think the cleaning products one is a good call too, and second the suggestion of using method sprays, they do a really nice lavender one of you don't like lemony smells and they have no nasty bleaches or chemicals in them that might upset her. My bastard cat adores bleach and regularly makes himself sick licking our bathroom floor after the cleaner has been... Just throwing that in there

I've cleaned it really well, rubbed it with a lemon and added some lemon slices.

Hoping the Feliway turns up soon.

No salt and Tequila?.

Joff could it be because you have been ill? Hope your kidney infection? is better now. My dog acts really strange when I am ill.

That looks spectacular King

I'm not sure she likes me enough to stress because I'm ill. (Still ill, btw.)

One of my other cats has barely left my side, but I don't think she's that into me. She goes out for most of the day.

If it's the only thing that has changed then I wouldn't discount it. Animals are funny things when it comes to their owners not being quite right.

Hmm... Not sure. This is how she looks at me. Disdain. Disappointment. Disgust.

I'm still blaming the Tesco Finest Piss Scented Worktop Cleanser.

Strategically place cucumbers around the kitchen?

I can see what you mean, that's not an approving look. Is she a mans cat?.

No advice but I have to say, she doesn't look a bit sorry.

She is a man's cat.

When DP gets home she'll run around meowing with excitement, flinging herself against his legs and purring with joy.

If my dad or any male friend comes round they get the love.

I don't get the love. Not from her. It does happen, but only if she's desperate and there's no one else here.

Thought as much, you're competition.

She's still frigging gorgeous though.

Dem kittens is adorable! Oh dear re the evacuating - have you tried shutting her out of the kitchen and giving her two litter trays?