Missing cat returned - very stressed

[Sleepingtom]

I worn out and stressed and need to vent. Out new rescue cat disappeared through a locked cat flap three weeks ago, six hours after we got him. Not the best weekend - I was in bits. I put food out every day and after two weeks saw him eating it by chance. Since I now knew he was coming for food each night we borrowed a trap and got him last night. He went wild when we let him out and is now in our living room hiding. He growls whenever we come near. I am so stressed and worn out by the whole thing and wondering if we would be better off giving him back to the CP league so they can rehome him somewhere nice and quite without young kids, which the fosterer reckons is the reason he may have escaped although I don't know. He may have just seized an opportunity she he saw the cat flap. [Tired emoticon]

Any progress? We're all on tenterhooks! We're waiting for the pictures of him climbing the Christmas tree when he finally comes out from the curtains.

Aw thanks for asking. I have been out of orbit due to smashed phone which is now replaced by shiny new one.

Chemenger I am so sorry to read about your little boy cat's illness I lost a cat very young to a random illness once and it was painfully sad. Hope you are OK.

Zebra loving the thought of The Adventures of Captain Curtain Cat book one could start with him hanging upside down at the top of them as per the first day!

Well he is still behind it (purring) but he has now progressed onto Sheba and Lickylicks which he is eating well and getting up to explore (when nobody is in sight). Also got some cat milk and a cat nip toy which it definitely looked like had been played with (black fur in a strange circle on the carpet). I think he is just setting the standards... He has me wrapped round his little paw.

Oops, not sure why my account has switched my nickname (I don't remember doing it!)

Quick update - my cat is still hiding but is now behind the TV from where he can spy on us through the TV stand! He also seems a lot calmer. Also this morning when we came down he was sat on the window ledge IN THE DAYTIME! (Albeit hidden behind a blind). He is also eating and using his litter tray normally. So I think he must be feeling a bit more at home

My gorgeous, grumpy rescue boy took a long time to venture out of the room we set aside for him. We used to go in and read to him, and he'd hide under the bed. He now rules the roost, and isn't scared of anything. He's a noisy chatty boy but still likes his own space. He follows us around and likes to be near us, but nearly 2 years later he still won't sit on our knees. He does go very cute and attentiony if we're in bed though.

Basically rescue cats are an unknown quantity. You'll never really know what they've been through or how they've been treated, but with love and time they'll settle down. You sound very caring and your kitty will be a bold pest owning you before you know it

Ps - our boy has surprised us constantly. We thought he'd be terrified of fireworks - he slept through them. We thought he'd be terrified of our builders - he sleeps through it all.

After my mother died, Seniorboy hid out somewhere - we never found exactly where, it being an old and roomy house - for close on a month! We just left him to it and went about our business until he decided he was disposed to be more sociable.

Your situation sounds pretty OK. As long as he's eating, drinking and using his tray you're on the home strait I think.

Do you know much about the cats background? He sounds semi feral!

I am also thinking this sounds like a cat that hates to be in, it is a good sign that he was able to get out but that he didn't completely leg it and vanish. I would see how he goes but you may have to accept that this isn't ever going to be a house/lap cat.

Personally I would keep him where he is for another day or two but then start letting him have a bit more freedom around the house and then start planning when he can go outside again.

My boy cat goes nuts when shut in anywhere but is otherwise completely chilled as long as he has his freedom!

Thanks Kirjava and Cosie, it is really nice to read other stories about hidden cats and how some just hide, makes me feel better! Some people in RL have been a bit about him still being hidden, despite me telling them about the stuff I have read which suggests it can take weeks after a trauma or something.

Thanks Girlfriend, He came from a normal home - a broken relationship. He was advertised as a 'cuddle monster' and jumped on my lap at the fosterers. But the fosterer thinks he is quite a sensitive soul too. I think that being homeless for weeks and then being trapped has made him very scared and mistrusting of humans.

I am happy for him to be an outdoors cat if he wants to be. I couldn't wait to adopt him from the pen and give him a nice garden to play in. At the moment he wouldn't venture from his hiding place even if we let him, he is ensconsed, but getting there. I think he almost came out last night, there was a lot of scuffling! Roll on the next few weeks.

It's all sounding more positive, you are playing the long game so I think you are quite right to be taking things very slowly with him

So how did Captain CurtainCat celebrate Christmas? (Had my hospital admission lasted through Christmas the books would've been written. But I escaped on the 23rd, so no books but VERY happy cats. I'd told them on the 9th I might be admitted but I was sure it wouldn't be for long so a fortnight's absence was not well-received. Poor cats...)

Our girl rescue hid in my teens room for 6 months and would only go to teen for food and cuddles. Fast forward 18 months and she is a lovely family cat. A house cat by choice and loves laps. Just give captain a bit of time.

Oh sorry to hear you were in hospital Zebra, hope you are OK now? glad you are out before Christmas and I am sure your cats are too.

Well I was very worried about having to leave Captain Curtaincat being fed by our neighbour over Christmas but he coped very well - he spent the time glued to the windowsill listening to classic FM and could see her coming in and out. DH came home without me after three nights and sat with him lots in a very quiet house. By the third night he was watching him in plain sight from the windowsill.

Today I came home so went in and sat with him and he has been sat watching me on the computer, not hidden and he even moved to the next windowsill in my presence! However, after about ten mins of watching me he suddenly growled (charming!) so I have just left the room. Anyway, I think he is getting more confident as it is significant (if slow) progress since clinging onto the top of the curtain four weeks ago!

The only thing is he has a bald patch on the bridge of his nose. I think maybe he got something on it when he was in the trap or outside which he has found difficult to get off (I did notice that a black mark seemed to be staying on it when we got him back in but haven't seen him much since!). It doesn't look infected - the skin underneath is light pink. Should I mention it to the vet? The vet knows all about him but has advised not to bring him in if he is eating OK etc.

Coffee thanks for sharing that, that is v reassuring. Six months is looking not unlikely for this one too! He seems to be letting DH stroke him a little bit now so maybe I should designate him the house cat person now until he trusts us both.

Hi, I've just seen this. Ragdoll was very very nervous when he came here, and then we had to shave, bath and neuter him which obviously made it all worse. He used to hide and I could never find him, he never didn't eat but he was terrified, he had been treated very badly though.

Anyway now he's amazing, the most cuddly cat in the world and has got that close to my very loud and bouncy DS that he does everything with him and even alerts us to his seizures.

Yes let dh do stroking duties. He will come round. We are a bit mad as we took on a two year old a couple of months ago and she has shredded my hands! Adores my 10 year old though, lies on her bed and let's dd stroke her. I go near them and cat goes crazy. I'm sure she will come round and calm down as time goes on. She's taken up residence in the conservatory with boy cat on one of the sofas where she glares at us when we go in. Very funny cat but loves using her teeth and claws.

I'm MUCH better, thank you - heaps better than before I got ill enough to admit defeat & go into hospital, if that makes sense? Am free of my dratted NJ tube at last (had somehow tied it in a knot, am a keen Guide, but that's a bit OVERkeen, even for me...) & still not quite over the joy of being able to wash my face properly! Much less the joy of not being gawped at everywhere I go - I don't mind children staring & happily explained to lots of of kids what it was for & how it worked & that it didn't hurt (but was a bit tickly sometimes) but could happily have bopped a lot of adults on the head for the staring/pointing/whispering antics. Grump.

But anyway, much more importantly, this sounds like Exciting Progress with/for The a Captain. Hurrah! Might be worth telling vet about his nose/sending a photo of you can get one Just To Be Sure. Fact he's letting your husband stroke him is fab. Not knowing his previous circs it might be he feels safer with a bloke for a bit. My neighbour's late dog was an absolute darling but couldn't stand smokers or - somewhat awkwardly - people who used walking sticks or crutches, due to his original owners' [mis]treatment of him. Am sure El Capitane will come round to you though: how could he not.

My two are still being extra snuggly, my left arm is going dead from having a cat cuddled into it because just being piled into my lap (am sitting with my legs crossed) is not snugglesome enough, apparently...

So, my cat is still hiding and not much further progress on the contact front. Jumping down and eating in my presence hasn't happened since that one time.

My DH stroking him seemed to start really annoying him and he was just hissing all the time and started seeming quite agitated. So we decided to leave him alone (still going in lots to keep him company). He now sits permanently behind the blind on the window ledge looking into the garden. At night he roams around downstairs eating the dreamies we put out for him but to my knowledge hasn't yet come upstairs.

DH reckons this isn't the right approach and that he is getting more, not less, insular. He thinks we should have the blind up so he can see us. I think he is more likely to eventually come out if we just leave him. I also think that constantly changing tactic won't help as cats like consistency and to know there is a place where they are safe. Any ideas?

Also, we haven't let him out yet - I do not want to keep him in but am reluctant to let him out until he stops hating us in case he hides outdoors again which clearly wasn't great for him! Is this the right approach? We have quite a big house but I know it isn't the same as being outdoors.

Everyone we speak to seem to think it is odd that he is still behaving like this, including one of the vets (the other one was more cat understanding). When I get comments like that I start to doubt that I am doing all the right things by my poor little scaredy cat!