Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Missing cat returned - very stressed

68 replies

Sleepingtom · 02/12/2015 12:03

I worn out and stressed and need to vent. Out new rescue cat disappeared through a locked cat flap three weeks ago, six hours after we got him. Not the best weekend - I was in bits. I put food out every day and after two weeks saw him eating it by chance. Since I now knew he was coming for food each night we borrowed a trap and got him last night. He went wild when we let him out and is now in our living room hiding. He growls whenever we come near. I am so stressed and worn out by the whole thing and wondering if we would be better off giving him back to the CP league so they can rehome him somewhere nice and quite without young kids, which the fosterer reckons is the reason he may have escaped although I don't know. He may have just seized an opportunity she he saw the cat flap. [Tired emoticon]

OP posts:
RamblingRedRose · 05/12/2015 01:42

Hang in there! One of our rescues took 2 months to settle in. He too was only active at night.

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 08:42

Thanks Rambling. Did you keep it in all that time? He ate more dreamies about 11 last night but nothing else. He has also found a new hiding place (less convenient as I can't see his feet or curtain twitching anymore - pretty sure I can hear purring though Confused).

There was wee on the carpet next to the old hiding place so I have moved the litter tray there, in the hope that he makes this is new toilet area (pref in the tray Smile). Assuming he is not pooing due to stress/not eating? (My DD held on for almost a week as a toddler when on holiday or in someone else's house!).

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 08:47

I am hoping he will come round to at least me Markruffalo so talking to tge curtain lots and and keeping the others out. My DH is such a nose though and has been in a few times to move a box I have put out or something. Keep telling him NOT to go in at all but he does like to think he is the one that solves all our problems! (He even said yesterday "it's not your cat" despite that he had nothing to do with getting it and didn't even want a cat!)

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 05/12/2015 08:54

A few months ago I trapped a totally feral kitten in our garden. Don't think it had ever seen a person before. It was totally wild. When I opened the trap in our bathroom to put the kitten in a cat box it exploded vertically, bounced off Dh's head, climbed vertically up a bare wall and then launched itself at the window which was open a crack and was half out before Dh pulled it back in the room. Ive never seen anything like it!

I gave the kitten as a present to the neighbours and they kept it in a dog crate in their front room for a month so kitten was in a safe, confined space while getting used to people. Fast forward a few months and she's very friendly and calm now.

M0ggy · 05/12/2015 08:55

Good luck OP, I hope it works out,
I really do, because you sound so caring & lovely,

Im just off to a CP Christmas Fayre, Im looking at getting a cat sometime in the future, but have a toddler, so taking our time looking,

Ive lost my 2 beautiful cats & my dog now & my god, Im still heartbroken years on,

But just wanted to say how bloody brilliant the support on here always is, & Cozie is a fountain of knowledge, dont know why but your thread has made me me feel emotional in a good way, I just wanted to wish you & your new addition some good wishes
Flowers Smile

cozietoesie · 05/12/2015 09:34

I'll confess to having....just an odd feeling about this one. (After you talking about your DH being a 'meddler'.) Do you have any idea what caused the breakout in the first place?

RamblingRedRose · 05/12/2015 09:50

Hello, yes we kept him in. We also have young kids. He's ok now but still isn't keen on my son but he'll wander around the house freely now during the day. My mum thought I was crazy and should take him back to the shelter but he wasn't bothering us so we persevered. He used to come and watch me sleeping at night but ran away as soon as I opened my eyes. These things can take a long time so try not to worry.

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 09:51

I think I did do it all wrong that day. Picked the cat up with two kids (not planned, should have rescheduled but was too keen to 'rescue' him from his pen. Put him in the utiltiy where we kept having to go in (should have out him in the living room but DH thought utility better). We all stroked him and he seemed OK with us (including kids and DH), then left him for the night and that is when he found the cat flap. He probably was a bit overwhelmed and in a new place but more than anything I think he just seized an opportunity to escape. I had locked the cat flap, but it is possible that my toddler twisted it around, tho I have since heard of cats being able to meddle with the lock and get out so I am not sure. My old cat would never have done this so I couldn't believe it when he was gone.

DH was definitely a factor in him being terrified when he got in as he decided (again!) that he should be in the utility so was trying to catch him while I was stressed and telling him not to be ridiculous and just to leave him (which we are now doing). So in a way I am not surprised he is taking his time to come out...

All in all tho I don't think he has been in my house long enough to have decided he doesn't like it or us but who knows! That's why I am keeping an open mind about whether or not he might be happy elsewhere (once he has emerged from the curtain!). Don't want him to be unhappy - on the other hand once he is settled my house and garden have enough space for him to be able to slope off and be free. Whereas if I give him back it'll be another month in the pen.

Can def hear purring from that curtain so he is def still there - phew Smile

Long post!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 09:53

Ps thanks M0ggy Flowers. I totally agree about this board it seems full of lovely people (and cats) Smile All your cheerful and supportive advice have made it all seem more manageable and normal. I was so stressed when I started this, after 3 weeks of missing cat sleepless nights, which I couldn't even bear to post about. I have been addicted to old missing cat threads. The tips on luring a displaced cat back (throwing litter and blankets outside, regular feeding etc)/was the reason we got him back at all.

Hope you find the right cat for you - enjoy the CP league fête. I had never had a rescue cat til this one. They have been so supportive (and non-judgemental about me losing their cat Blush)

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 09:54

Ps whothefuckissimon your story has made me feel better! That is exactly what my cat was like. It was awful Sad I totally didn't expect it as he was soft and cuddly pre-escape. I am learning a lot about cats at the moment!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 09:59

Rambling your cat sounds very similar to mine! Kind of wish I could have put him in my room so he could see me sleeping/lying down as a friend said that really helps tame them. But my kids are always in with me so wouldn't work. Lol at him watching you while you slept. I think I would find that a bit freaky! Smile

OP posts:
OrangeSquashTallGlass · 05/12/2015 09:59

You sound like you're doing an amazing job OP. It took our lovely rehomed cat a few weeks to leave one room and about a year to sit on a lap to be cuddled. But now she's completely relaxed and absolutely dedicated to me. She's curled up right next to me as I type this.

You should definitely get a feliway plug in if you haven't already. It really helps with the stress.

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 10:08

Thanks Orange. Good thought I have just called the vet and they have one in stock so off to pick it up (and some tuna) Smile

OP posts:
ENtertainmentAppreciated · 05/12/2015 11:15

Don't beat yourself up too much OP, it's a learning curve.
What you can try and remember is that regardless of your good intentions or what you do for the cat, it'll adjust and come round completely in its own time.

You're making sure he has everything he needs. My only other ideas would be an ordinary cardboard box, turn on its side and put an old towel or something in there. Regardless of how many beds you buy, a cat nearly always loves a cardboard box. Second thing was a tip from the vet when our cat was off colour, very gently warm the wet food, that brings out the aromas more and tempts their tastebuds.

We use Feliway too.

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 05/12/2015 11:20

Thanks ENt - good thoughts. I will be adding an ordinary cardboard box on its side to his room and warming his food tonight Smile

OP posts:
ENtertainmentAppreciated · 05/12/2015 11:38

Good luck Sleeping.
Rescues can be hard going but very rewarding.
We've had one for around 8 years and he's very reserved, won't be picked up and won't ever be a lap cat but really loves being groomed now both with a soft brush and the wire one too. It took a very long time, but he loves it and I think it relaxes him because it prompts some really good purring and looks of bliss at times Smile

Give him a good chance to build up some trust nice and calmly.

ZebraOwl · 05/12/2015 20:39

Thanks Sleepingtom - I was so tired after Brownies last night that once I'd tweeted about the meeting & emailed parents about EOT stuff I fell asleep on top of my bed still in my uniform. I may have looked like the overkeenest Leader ever.

It's good he's weed (hopefully he'll now do so in the tray) as holding that in can cause probs. Think I'm right in saying almost all mammals can fail to defecate for actual weeks when stressed/anxious. Including all the grown adults (human ones, I mean) who only ever poo at home...

Totally agree with cardboard box & heated food suggestions. If you happen to be cooking chicken any time soon you could try wafting some of that his way, but obviously you risk setting up unrealistic expectations on his part. (My poor cats, obligate carnivores with an almost-vegan owner, no such treats for them. That said, they don't seem to understand "obligate" &/or "carnivore" & thus have form for the theft of marmite sandwiches, pasta, biscuits, crisps, toast & cake.)

It might seem like it's all taking ages, but truly, it's not. You're doing great. And Captain CurtainCat just needs to be let settle. You're doing grand.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 07/12/2015 23:50

Dboy cat took ages to even come into the house after his sister had identified us as their new slaves. Even now a year on he won't go through a doorway if we are on the other side whereas dgirl cat will try her best to trip us up. Took about 2-3 months for him to venture inside and about another month before he would go beyond the first room. Now he is the one who greets us every morning. Dgirl cat mainly just sleeps and trips us up, now that her job of recruiting slaves is done, although dc are besotted with her and she will let them do anything to her (well she draws the line at actually walking on her harness). Even over a year later he is still thawing - he has just started to roll over for a tummy stroke.

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 08/12/2015 01:25

Quick post as I shattered my phone on Sat, just to round off an excellent week... Captain curtaincat (love that name!) hadn't eaten more than a bite or two of wet food and a handful of dreamies in 5 days. Tonight he has eaten three bowls of poached salmon! Wish I had given him this before. So happy he is eating but really worrying now about all that time that he didn't eat and HL.

OP posts:
chemenger · 08/12/2015 08:13

Eating is good, even if it has taken a while to get there. It means he's relaxing a bit. He'll probably have a good sleep now and may feel more confident about facing the world this morning. Were you there while he was eating? If so that would be a good sign that he trusts you more. Who knows what happened to him while he was lost, even well settled cats take a while to readjust after something like that so he's doing pretty well. You are a hero to be so patient with him. Keep holding back, let him approach you, it will happen.

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 08/12/2015 08:23

Three bowls of poached salmon? Good that he is eating but don't be surprised if his tummy goes a bit dodgy for the next couple of days. Good luck anyhow and good that you have some progress.

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 08/12/2015 08:51

I have neveee giveb a cat poached salmon before - is it bad for their tummy? Was desperate to get him to eat as the vet receptionist said cats who don't eat can get seriously ill, and to tempt him with something like fish.

Have been reading things about it taking only 48 hours for a cat to get really I'll of they don't eat. I can't take him to the vet at the moment as it would set him back. Glad he is eating just hope he is OK after his hunger strike!

I heard him running around in the night. I think the Feliway and Zyklene may have kicked in as he definitely sounded happier. Although he is still hiding and hissed at me yesterday it is progress.

OP posts:
Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 08/12/2015 12:02

Normally it would be fine but as I discovered with my first rescue cat, if you give it to them when they are not used to it, it can give them the runs. But better to be eating and having the runs than not!!

Original poster
Sleepingtom · 08/12/2015 12:26

Ah! Thanks for the warning tho, as at least if he has the runs I know it'll be the salmon and not something else for me to obsess about Smile

OP posts:
ZebraOwl · 09/12/2015 00:29

Glad El Capitan has had something to eat at last. If it does upset his tummy, have you a Pets At Home near you? They sell Logic Diar-Stop (www.logicforpets.co.uk/port/diarstop/) which, well, stops diarrhoea, basically. Pumpkin is also very good for settling feline stomachs & Almo & Applaws both do chicken & pumpkin cat-food, the latter also stocked at Pets At Home. (My tiny-local-shop also does Almo, but few places seem to!)

In my tiny mind "The Adventures of Captain CurtainCat" could be a delightful series of illustrated children's books. Naturally our hero wears a cape made from a curtain... And is a rescue cat. So we are clear, Captain CurtainCat DEFINITELY lives Happily Ever After. Yes, yes he does. Vair defilutely. (It may possibly be Past My Bedtime. Maybe...)