Had to have my cat put down on Saturday - still feeling traumatised

[hudyerwheesht]

He was old and had health problems and I suspected this was on the cards at some point but I only took him to the vet to get a better idea of why he had deteriorated a bit in the last week and suddenly we were having The Conversation and I wasn't ready. And all the time my cat was purring as the vet stroked him. It seemed so wrong. But she said it was kinder to do it now before he really started to suffer (he had abdominal fluid swelling plus a tumour and it was making it hard for him to breathe or eat properly) though I barely had time to digest what she was saying before it was happening. In reality she was actually patient and kind, it just seemed fast considering I only brought him in to get him checked out.

I've never had to have an animal put down and I'm a bit overwhelmed by how upset I still feel about the whole process. I stayed with him and sobbed like a baby. I felt so cruel, like he trusted me and I led him to his death.
I know that sounds over-dramatic but I can't help it. I keep thinking stupid things like, he would be lying out in the sunshine right now instead of buried in the garden were it not for me deciding to take him in(DH was suggesting we wait as he was still active/eating,etc but I insisted). I feel so guilty.
I had expected him to be in a much worse state so that it would be like relieving him of his pain/discomfort but it seems really wrong because right up until I took him he was still walking around, eating (though not much), purring when stroked,etc. so it feels very wrong.

Sorry, this post is rambly as fuck - my emotions are all over the shop and I'm not very coherant. I know I'm repeating myself. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Made the score say goodbye before we left.

The DC not the score!

Aww, Heidi, good luck. Good idea getting the DC to say goodbye, I never expected to have to and was sad DS didn't get a chance. DD did though, of her own accord, and said she was glad she did.

Well one X-ray, some blood tests and antibiotic injection later he is back home. Vet has no clue so will wait for them to ring later with results. Feeling hopeful as no obvious tumours but still aware he is old and poorly.

Yay, good news Heidi!

Well, we battled on. Managed to get over the constipation, and kept her food intake up at a reasonable level - sufficient to survive, anyway. Never did find the location of the infection. But then she developed breathing problems, and just couldn't seem to catch her breath. So I took her to the vet this morning and held her for the first part of the injection. She fought so hard to stay awake, I couldn't stay for the second one. In fact she fought the whole being ill as hard as she could. So I'm left second guessing myself about what caused the breathing problems.

Absolutely gutted and in small pieces. 10 years is so young, and she was just so lovely.

My cat was put down today. I couldn’t take him, my daughter did it while I was at work. He was 23 years old and getting poorly, it has broke my heart, I feel I signed his death warrant. I said goodbye to him this morning and he looked at me so trusting and was purring, I have come home to a empty house and the guilt is eating me. I don’t think I can forgive myself. I wish he just pass away peacefully at home. My daughter has brought him home and he is buried in the garden, she said he died peacefully but it doesn’t help me at all. I am going to buy a rose bush called Charlie to plant over his grave but I wish he was still here.

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your lovely cat @Bennnett39

This is an old thread and you may get more support if you post what you’ve written as a new separate post.

I just wanted to say you didn’t sign a death warrant, what you did was allow your cat to pass with dignity and without pain. It was the ultimate kindness to him, even though it leaves you heartbroken. Contrary to popular belief, letting our pets slip away on their often isn’t peaceful for them. Take care of yourself

I know this is an old thread but the messages in it have really touched my heart

Our little puss was PTS on Friday at home (our vet is an actual angel) . She had been sick and while waiting for the diagnosis (lynphoma) things started to go downhill and with the same feeling as above, better a day too early than a day too late, we just could not let our beautiful girl deteriorate. As is she was tired and while still affectionate, she was not the strong cat of just a few weeks ago.

It breaks but also fills my heart with love to see so many of the posters on this thread share their love for their fur babies.

Bennett39, my heart breaks for you today xx

We had our 16 year old cat pts this morning. He had arthritis which had slowed him right down but medication was keeping him active. He also had a cancerous growth on his nose that he has started pulling at, and was now obviously bothering him. The past week it had turned into an open sore. Apart from that he was eating fine and still wanted to lie with us, when he wasn’t in our summerhouse which he preferred to sleep in. I rang vet on Monday and told them that it was time. We didn’t want him to be uncomfortable with the sore as he obviously was and was pawing at it causing it to constantly bleed. It was so sad, and we did think about waiting until after Xmas but that was purely for our benefit, and not his. His welfare was more important than our wanting to hold on to him just because we loved him. He died peacefully in our summerhouse while looking into my eyes. I keep “seeing” him. In kitchen where he would sit and wait to be fed. Just outside the back door, climbing through cat flap into summerhouse. I can hear the pit pat of his paws on floor when he would saunter into our bedroom. I’ve been in tears most of the day. We also have two young indoor cats who our older cat didn’t particularly care for, hence him preferring to sleep alone in summerhouse. They are Bengals and were too boisterous for him. He would hiss at them if they approached him, and they would back away. They respected him as an elder. It felt so sad that I didn’t have to take him his night time feed to him tonight. I have a camera in the summerhouse that I could view and keep an eye on him. I’m lying in bed and can’t help looking to see if he’s okay, even though I know he’s gone. I can see his empty cat bed with just his collar :( We’d had him since he was a kitten. I know that eventually, when I think of all the happy years we spent with him I’ll smile instead of crying. I’m glad we didn’t hang on to him for longer, as he was starting to suffer. But it still hurts. I’ve been looking through all my pics of him throughout the years. God, I’m going to miss him so much

Had my beautiful girl pts yesterday and I'm feeling exactly the same way. She was 16 and even though she had kidney failure and I done the right thing I still feel guilty that I ended her life, I know it get better in time but at moment it's awful feeling😢😢