My house is run by cats.

[OTheHugeManatee]

I know this because:

• Cat A demands that I open the sitting room curtains before I leave for work, so she can enjoy a nice view of the garden from her personal piano stool by the radiator.
• Cat B insists that DH patrols the garden with him every evening at dusk, with said cat sat on his shoulder like a parrot. Cat B sulks if this doesn't happen.
• Cat A insists that I sit on the bed for 5 minutes after getting out of the bath, while she tramples up and down me purring and warming her paws up.
• Cat B HAS HIS OWN BEDROOM. Well, it's the spare room, but if anyone else goes in there while Cat B is sleeping they get a look like this only black and furry.
• Cat A brings a wine bottle cork into the bedroom every evening at lights out, in the expectation that someone will throw it so she can chase it.

I could go on

Is your house run by cats? What made you realise?

Cats definitely rule this house too

Cat 1 adores DH to the point of it being embarrassing. She will attempt to sit on his lap at times where there is no lap eg he is crouching down to put a DVD in the machine. She also sits by his dinner plate glaring at him until he's finished as she refuses to sit on my empty lap (I always eat quicker than him). Whenever he picks her up she flings herself onto her back like a baby so he can tickle her tummy. She has NO dignity.

She also refuses to jump onto the counter in the utility room to get her food, so after filling her bowl DH lifts her up. I refuse to do so and so she stands there looking cross until DD1 picks her up. She also paws at the catflap as if unable to open it, until a human comes and pushes it open for her, then she remembers how it works.

If either cat is on his side of the bed when he gets in, he will get in in a really awkward way and curl round them so as not to disturb them.

Cat 2 yowls in the middle of the night in the kids rooms so I have to get up and stroke her to sh her. She also dabs at my nose with her paw repeatedly if I am sleeping and she wants me to get up and feed her or open the cat flap (locked at night to avoid mice infestation).

Cat 2 also refuses to drink from her water bowl. However, she kept drinking soapy bath water left inside bath toys. So a couple of times I filled a small bowl shaped toy with fresh water to stop her drinking the soap. Now that is her bowl, and she will stand in the bath and complain loudly if it not filled and presented to her.

Both cats love to watch me on the loo, and if I close the door they will scrabble at it. If I push it to, they will get their paw in and pull it open. In fact we never close any doors in the house because the cats get enraged if we do.

Oh yes, the jumping onto DH at inopportune moments. Like when he's getting something out of the oven.

Ooh yes, the jumping/climbing on the back. Every time we bend over. Then Little Monsieur sits on your shoulder like a parrot.

My cat drinks bottled mineral water which I lug back from the supermarket. I drink tap water.

Grendal, senior tiger, has his own penthouse apartment, (the loft), has decided he likes to have porridge with me in the mornings, on a gold-rimmed Crown Derby plate, he won't eat it otherwise, Miss Piggy, junior tiger, has taken a fancy to Salmon, and has commandeered an antique chair that my Grandmother left me, and nobody else is allowed to sit in it, if they do, they are treated to a swipe of a furry paw, and ordered to leave! :)

We originally tried shutting her in a separate room when she first moved in, but that didn't work as she would sing the song of her people from 3 am until 8am every day. She now is allowed to roam upstairs at night time now. For a quiet life.

We carry her upstairs to bed every night, lest she can't manage it in her sleepy state.

She likes to accompany me to the loo. No one else, only me. She stands in the bathroom doorway dithering until I ask her if she's coming in. So then she will follow me and demand head scruffs whilst I pee. If I don't let her in she will scratch at door and yowl like the world is ending.

You must greet her when you enter the house. Preferably on the middle step on the stairs where her face matches the height of our hands.

We have just started letting her have more access to husband's wardrobe as she has discovered she likes to sleep in there. My own fault really. I put her in there one evening to see what she would do. Turns out the answer is forever after scratch at wardrobe door to gain access. So now, for a quiet life again, we just get up in the night and open it for her.

My monkey sits and glares at us until we get the woodburner fired up, whereupon he proceeds to get as close to it as he possibly can, including in it.
He also will only deign to sleep on my youngest sons bed in the daytime, (who is allergic to cats)My son even moved bedrooms, and the cat just switched beds with him.

Mrs P had her kittens in my wardrobe, ignoring all other more comfortable places I prepared for her and now she and her daughter have a wardrobe each which is for fun (destroying shoe boxes to get at shoes); safety (fireworks, any visitors esp men); scaring me (when scrabbling makes me think there's a mouse in there) and of course adding white fur to trousers & other dark coloured garments in there, for that finishing touch.
I am, however grateful for their white fur, which makes them visible, as they both like the mummy-killer position lying across the stairs or the step on the landing to bring about my demise, when the senior cat will start on me while my broken body is still warm. Don't know why I bother about instructions for my body going for medical research when these two cast measuring glances at me "Yep! There's good eating on that. We'll get her yet." And of course, I have to step around them or face grumbles and muttering if I ask politely for them to move.

I request 'an orchard view please' when taking Mia to the C A T T E R Y.

And have just told dh we can never ever get rid of the bean bag because it's furry and she treats it like her mummy cat.