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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Just had to say goodbye

28 replies

miaowmix · 29/07/2014 21:40

to my gorgeous, 17 year old handsome 3-legged tabby boy. Heartbroken even though I knew it was coming. He was old and incontinent, skinny and being sick, not really much quality of life. He was PTS. But I miss him so much already. Not sure why I'm posting this here to loads of strangers but I miss him so much already.

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aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 29/07/2014 21:50

It's heartbreaking isn't it.
I'm sorry for your loss

JamForTea · 29/07/2014 21:51

Really sorry. I had to say goodbye to my girl last Monday. It's horrible. It sounds like you chose the kind and right thing to do but if you're anything like me you'll just be feeling shit about it at the moment. It's ok to miss him and grieve for him, he was part of your family. It has helped me to look out some lovely photographs and I talk about her to the dc and to dh, reminding them of all the little things she used to do.

Bakersbum · 29/07/2014 21:54

Stranger but know how you're feeling, I lost my boy in May, still miss him but can smile instead of cry at the memories now.

Big hugs it does get easier, be kind to yourself and so sorry you're going through this too.

Original poster

miaowmix · 29/07/2014 21:58

Thanks lovely strangers, I do feel terrible guilt that I could do that to him even though my head said it was the right thing. He was so cranky but so sweet and I really want to see him again. Crazy. But thanks for understanding. Cats are such an emotional liability .

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Bakersbum · 29/07/2014 22:08

It was your last act of love and kindness for him, but I know how you're feeling.

Original poster

miaowmix · 29/07/2014 22:10

you are all very kind. Thank you X

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ballsballsballs · 29/07/2014 22:21

I'm so sorry for everyone who has been through this. xx

I said goodbye to my beautiful 19 year old tom last year. It was the kindest thing I could do but it hurt like he'll.

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 29/07/2014 22:23

Oh GreyGardens, it's such a hard thing to do but I think you have to see it as the final loving thing you can do for your beloved boy.

As mad-cat-woman-in-training I've been through it too many times and it never gets easier.
Last time my vet said that in an ideal world they'd slip away in their sleep, but that happens very very rarely and in his experience the kind and loving thing to do is make that difficult decision.

PushPineapple · 29/07/2014 22:28

Most of us have been there or will be there at some point.
It costs nothing to show compassion to any person or creature in pain.
I'm sorry you had to make the decision- no matter how sick they are, it hurts.

Original poster

miaowmix · 29/07/2014 22:35

It really does hurt, doesn't it? I just found my 7 year old daughter crying on the stairs because she misses him. We just sobbed. This is the 4th cat that has had to be pts in my life but the only one I've done, not my mum, and it just felt so hard.
Thanks so much for your very kind words x

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timtam23 · 30/07/2014 00:11

So sorry GreyGardens, it is such a hard thing to do

I had to say goodbye to both of my old cats over the last 10 months and it still makes me cry, they become so much part of the fabric of the household that they leave a huge gap behind when they go

for you

ballsballsballs · 30/07/2014 00:21

Chiana · 30/07/2014 01:31

So sorry for your loss. But it sounds like you absolutely did the right thing.

OldLadyKnowsSomething · 30/07/2014 01:38

It's always a difficult decision to make, but you did the right thing. I had to have my 9 yo black girlcat pts recently, and people here were really lovely. Yes, strangers, but we all share the same feelings.

Original poster

miaowmix · 30/07/2014 09:39

Thank you all. It really hit me late last night and I sobbed until my eyes were a puffy mess. I couldn't believe I had let him go like that and just wanted 5 more minutes to hug him and say goodbye. It sounds so indulgent but I know pet owners understand. I felt like I'd let him down and was a terrible person, plus I just miss him.
But thanks all, it's not like me to be such an emotional wreck, I am very lucky I've never had to face worse.

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MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 30/07/2014 11:10

I had the love of my life PTS last week, and like you it was the first time it had been MY responsibility. It hurt so much, but at least we can do that last act of love for our fur friends.

I keep expecting my boy to jump up behind me..daft as he hadn't been able to do that for months...

The love of an animal is a very special thing and it would be wrong if we didn't grieve for them I think xx

Original poster

miaowmix · 30/07/2014 11:15

Ah is that your beautiful boy on your profile Medusa - the Maine Coon? What an incredibly handsome chap.
I know, I feel so bereft and I should allow myself to I think. I honestly hadn't realised it would hit me so hard, as he was so old, but of course it is ok to be sad. THe silly boy, I just wish I could relive yesterday and give him a bigger cuddle.
On a side note, anyone know how to depuff eyes? ? Mine are all cried out.
THanks for all your very kind thoughts. THe comfort of strangers.
X

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chockbic · 30/07/2014 11:21

I would do anything for one last cuddle too.

Old tabby girl pts four weeks ago this Friday.

Wish I could say it gets easier!

Original poster

miaowmix · 30/07/2014 11:34

ah -
Sorry for your loss, chockbic, and all of you who've lost their pets recently. Honestly keep expecting to see my little chap padding around. Or more likely sleeping and crapping on the floor, but hey!

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chockbic · 30/07/2014 11:38

Ha or retching followed by hunt the sick game.

Usually around 4 am with bleary eyes.

God love 'em.

ToffeeWhirl · 30/07/2014 11:41

I'm really sorry, Grey, it's heartbreaking. We had to have our kitten PTS last year and I was crying so hard at the vets that my DH had to take over. Until you have your own pet, you don't really know how hard it hits you. They bring out the best in us, I think.

I don't know if this would help you, but a friend who has always had cats told me to put all our kitten's things away immediately. This did help because it was too awful to have his bowls and things lying around as painful reminders. Conversely, I did find it comforting to put up photos of him around the house and my DS1 made a sweet video compilation of the kitten's short life.

You have done the kindest and most loving thing for him by putting him out of his pain - be sure of that.

ToffeeWhirl · 30/07/2014 11:42

And also so sorry to see other posters who have recently lost their cats: for you all.

Original poster

miaowmix · 30/07/2014 12:05

Ah Toffee - thank you. And gosh poor you, to lose a kitten (and what a beautiful kitten) must hve been sooo heartbreaking. Poor little baby. I cried like that at the vets when my boy had to have a leg amputated. Little did I know he'd live a great and healthy life for 11 more years, so we were lucky to have all that time with him.
Great advice re hiding his things. I must wash up his bowl and put it away. Hope his companion doesn't get too confused, but so far he's sleeping it off in the sun [sun].
for all.
Did any of you do a garden burial or similar? (my boy is being cremated so will get his ashes soon)... I think we will X

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ToffeeWhirl · 30/07/2014 12:24

Grey - It's wonderful that your cat went on to live another 11 years after having his leg amputated. You must have thought it was all over for him then.

We left our kitten's body with the vet. DH didn't want us to bring the body home because it was too upsetting and, to be honest, we'd spent so much on medicine for him by then that we didn't have any money left for cremation or burial. But I think a garden burial is a lovely idea and would have chosen that if we could have.

Yes, losing our kitten was dreadful. On a happier note, a year has now passed and we will soon be getting not one, but two new kittens. No replacement for our loved ToffeeKitten, but hopefully they will bring a lot of joy.

Original poster

miaowmix · 30/07/2014 12:40

He definitely had his 9 lives I think .
Am so sorry about your lovely kitten and it is v kind of you to give such good advice, but what happy news, am glad for you. All the cats on this thread are beautiful btw, and sorry for all your losses.

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