Adopting a cat

[Lilicat1013]

I am new to this section but was hoping for some help!

I grew up with cats, my family has always had them (my Uncle had nine at one point) and I always planned to have my own as an adult. It has taken a while to get to that stage though as I have lived un uni accommodation then flats that weren't suitable.

We moved in to a house in May last year and a cat has been considered since but it was generally in the discussion and planning stage until earlier this week when I looked on the Cats Protection League website at the cats to adopt and fell in love with on the cats waiting for a home.

I look on the Cats Protection League/RSPCA website a lot and love all the cats but there was something special about this one and I filled in the form for more information.

I have spoken to the lady fostering him today and found he was a former stray and has been with her since October with no enquires. She said she is happy for us to have him providing we pass all their checks and he doesn't mind our children. As he is a former stray they don't know how he is with children but she said he is friendly and it will be a case of meeting them and seeing how it goes.

Once we get the go ahead I will have a little time to get everything together as he needs dental surgery and wont be ready till February. I was wondering if anyone could help make a list of basics I need to sort out for him. I particularly want to do things that will help him feel safe and at home as he is having to deal with a lot of change.

My other question was one of the things that came up in the conversation was if the cat I had chosen did not cope well with the children she had another cat who would be perfect for a family. That part is fine, I would love to take the girl cat if our original choice didn't prove to be a good match but on the site she is mentioned as it being a preference for being homed with another cat. I would be happy to take both but the second cat needs a quiet home, no young children so couldn't come with us.

I don't know what to do for the best, taking her would mean one cat gets a permanent home but splitting up a pair seems cruel. The lady I spoke to said they had already considered splitting the two up, I assume so they would have a better chance of being rehomed but I feel so terrible taking one and leaving the other behind. I don't know if it would be better to refuse both so they have a chance of getting a home together.

Hopefully the little boy cat I spotted will like our children so it will be a non issue but in case it is I wanted to decide in advance what to do.

Sorry this is huge! I appreciate anyone who made it through.

How exciting. Well hopefully it will all work out with boycat so that will be fine. If not then I wouldn't worry about splitting the cats up or whatever. You can be sure that the rescue will have thought through all the ramifications of everything and will only suggest what is in the best interests of all the cats concerned.

There have been lots of threads on what new cat owners need. I'll see if I can find one and link it.

Here we are. The first few pages of this thread should give you some useful tips:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/a1681116-Were-probably-getting-a-rescue-cat-soon-What-do-we-need-to-buy-and-how-much-will-upkeep-cost

That's tricky. When we went looking, I couldn't bear to think I was leaving some poor cat without a home. However I had to harden my heart and work out which one would be best for my situation. Personally I found there were lots more adult cats than kittens looking for homes, so we got a 3 year old tom who had been found wandering the streets of a local town He has turned out to be perfect, however we don't have small children so not so tricky to choose a suitable candidate.

I'd say you'd need a litter tray and I'd recommend Catsan litter, 3 bowls (one for water, crunchies and soft food), some small toys, a scratching post and brush and comb.

Hope that helps and that you manage to find a lovely pet!

A lot of patience (depending on the cat, clearly). Our two teenage cats are taking a long, long time to settle down and stop thinking that people are for hiding from and DD(7) is finding that very hard. Boycat is getting there, but Girlcat is getting no better. I have just ordered a feliway diffuser to see if I can drug her into submission get her to chill a bit. Poor DD had visions of lap cats and we haven't been able to let them out of the utility room yet. We won't give up, and we will get there eventually, but if I had my time over I would have picked one who was happy to be picked up and cuddled even in the rescue centre. I keep telling myself that our two would have struggled to find a home if we hadn't taken them, though.

..so, OP, if boycat isn't immediately OK with your DC then I would go to Plan B IIWY.

Thank you so much for the help, it is suddenly hit me that although we have always had cats when I lived at home and I cat sit so I have a good understanding of the day to day care I have never had to do the set up bringing a cat home and buying everything they need.

The one I looked to adopt is a three year old ginger tom, apparently he is vocal and affectionate. I just hope he likes the children. My four year old isn't such a worry as he is autistic, he will not approach an animal but he likes it when they come to him. He loves our neighbour's cat but just sits on the floor waiting for him and when he does come over my son just says 'a cat, a cat. I like a cat' over and over again when George headbutts him and purrs.

The little one is more of a problem, he is only one and tends to top speed crawl after our neighbour's cat every time he sees him. George is a very tolerant cat and when he doesn't want to deal with the baby he simply moves to higher ground. I hope the boy cat we are looking at will be happy to take the same approach.

Stealthsquiggle, sorry I crossed posted with you. It is a shame your cats are taking so long to settle down but you are right it would be been so hard for them to find a home if you hadn't taken them. They would have probably been in the cattery long term.

I am sorry for your daughter, I would have been just the same at seven, desperately wanting the cats to cuddle and play. I hope the feliway helps them settle down.

One of the reasons we went for a rescue cat is because my Mum got a kitten who is lovely but very timid. My mum and I both discussed how fortunate it was Oscar ended up in a quiet house with adults rather than a family home because he wouldn't have coped. I was hoping to ensure a good match with a cat that was happy with a busy household.

Thanks, OP, we'll be fine in the end. FWIW there was a gorgeous big purry cuddly ginger tom at the rescue centre for whom I would have over-ridden DH and the DC, but he belonged to someone who was trying to sort out their home life so that they could have him back - so hopefully you will all bond with your chosen cat when you visit and settling will go well. Most cats will just remove themselves from the reach of small DC rather than confront them, IME, so there is a good chance he will be OK with DC2.

I wouldn't worry about the other cats too much OP. Cats are solitary animals and whilst some live together in pairs or more quite happily they are also perfectly contented alone. It's our human need for companionship which makes us think we need to have them as a pair - because we are happier like that. trust the rescue to match you with the best cat for your set up.
We adopted our Mia from cats protection four years ago. She is smashing and it was clear from meeting her that she would be fine with the kids. She is very affectionate - having lived as a stray and had kittens at that time seem to have promoted that. When we first got her she was food obsessed. Her first night with us she was trying to eat the yellow thai curry out of our bowls. When you fed her she scoffed it all instantly - in case it was taken away :(. It has been lovely to see her chill out. She leaves food now and eats it when she wants it because she knows it's staying.
We kept her in for a month and then let her out. She has a nice life and we adore her. Good luck getting your cat

Lilicat Not sure if it is a trait of ginger toms, but my boy is SO affectionate and cuddly, exspecially in the bad weather. All he wants to do is snuggle up on my knee in the evening and sleep as close to me as possible. He's all I ever wanted in a cat. Love him to bits

Lili good luck, I also have a ginger tom (very old now but I got him when he was a young kitten) and he is the loveliest cat, very good natured and affectionate. He adores being cuddled and made a fuss of. Maybe it is a ginger tom thing?