My old granny always used to say "if in doubt, don't" but i have no idea how to come to the right decision over this.
19 year old cat, had him since day one, always been a house cat (long boring reasons).
9 years ago he developed a small benign cyst on his flank. Vet said they would not operate due to a minor heart murmur and the risks involved for something that was benign. So he lived with it.
About 12 months ago he started changing.... He doesn't groom himself much any more and generally does what old cats do... Eats and sleeps. He's not bothered by our kids coming into the family but he doesn't do much else. He doesn't come upstairs anymore unless very necessary (I.e to wail for food!). He's a bit wobbly on his legs sometimes, but can certainly break into a run when needed to get to the window to shout at another cat.
His toilet habits are going downhill. He sticks his bum over the side of the litter tray and pees out of the tray. We've tried every format of lidded tray, high sided tray, tray inside a cardboard box.... But within a day or two he either finds a way to pee out of the box or ignore the tray and pees elsewhere. He also now refuses to poo in the tray. He poos behind the kitchen door. Basically I am clearing up pee and poo every day and the house, genuinely, is starting to smell. We've tried feliway and moving trays, several trays, etc but we have a tiny house and a crawling baby, and there is a limit as to what is practical.
5 weeks ago I came down to find big blood drops all over the downstairs.... His benign cyst had ruptured and he was bleeding a lot. Emergency vet trip, expecting the vet to tell us it was time to call it a day. Vet cleaned it up, put a buster collar on him, and said it would heal. It did, but 4 weeks on when it was pretty much totally healed, for some reason he whittled at it again and it's reopened twice in the last week. We are going back to the vets later but over the phone he said it looked like he would basically need to wear the buster collar (which he hates, can't eat or drink in, and has even more trouble using the tray wearing) for 4-6 weeks while it fully heals. The lump is still going to be there, it is still inoperable, and I don't have much faith that this isn't going to just go on and on.
I came down this morning to find a pile of poo and pee on the living room floor. I hate to sound materialistic because it's not 'important' compared to an animals life, but I am so frustrated that we had to replace the carpet 4 weeks ago because it was stained with blood.... Now we are going to have to do the same again, more blood and poo/wee going on. We are not financially flush enough to just keep doing stuff like that (who is?)
I'm trying to think its about everyone's quality of life in the family - crawling baby, 3 year old, me going back to work in a few weeks (so he'll be alone all day again) and whether this is it. But I just don't know whether the above reasons are reason enough and whether I would feel so terribly guilty afterwards thinking maybe he could have had a few more years. But the incontinence apart from anything else is horrible.
Anyone got any words of advice? I don't suppose there is a magic answer, but opinions from other cat people would be very much appreciated.