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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Not knowing if it's time to say it's the end......

54 replies

alabasterangel · 01/05/2012 10:36

My old granny always used to say "if in doubt, don't" but i have no idea how to come to the right decision over this.

19 year old cat, had him since day one, always been a house cat (long boring reasons).

9 years ago he developed a small benign cyst on his flank. Vet said they would not operate due to a minor heart murmur and the risks involved for something that was benign. So he lived with it.

About 12 months ago he started changing.... He doesn't groom himself much any more and generally does what old cats do... Eats and sleeps. He's not bothered by our kids coming into the family but he doesn't do much else. He doesn't come upstairs anymore unless very necessary (I.e to wail for food!). He's a bit wobbly on his legs sometimes, but can certainly break into a run when needed to get to the window to shout at another cat.

His toilet habits are going downhill. He sticks his bum over the side of the litter tray and pees out of the tray. We've tried every format of lidded tray, high sided tray, tray inside a cardboard box.... But within a day or two he either finds a way to pee out of the box or ignore the tray and pees elsewhere. He also now refuses to poo in the tray. He poos behind the kitchen door. Basically I am clearing up pee and poo every day and the house, genuinely, is starting to smell. We've tried feliway and moving trays, several trays, etc but we have a tiny house and a crawling baby, and there is a limit as to what is practical.

5 weeks ago I came down to find big blood drops all over the downstairs.... His benign cyst had ruptured and he was bleeding a lot. Emergency vet trip, expecting the vet to tell us it was time to call it a day. Vet cleaned it up, put a buster collar on him, and said it would heal. It did, but 4 weeks on when it was pretty much totally healed, for some reason he whittled at it again and it's reopened twice in the last week. We are going back to the vets later but over the phone he said it looked like he would basically need to wear the buster collar (which he hates, can't eat or drink in, and has even more trouble using the tray wearing) for 4-6 weeks while it fully heals. The lump is still going to be there, it is still inoperable, and I don't have much faith that this isn't going to just go on and on.

I came down this morning to find a pile of poo and pee on the living room floor. I hate to sound materialistic because it's not 'important' compared to an animals life, but I am so frustrated that we had to replace the carpet 4 weeks ago because it was stained with blood.... Now we are going to have to do the same again, more blood and poo/wee going on. We are not financially flush enough to just keep doing stuff like that (who is?)

I'm trying to think its about everyone's quality of life in the family - crawling baby, 3 year old, me going back to work in a few weeks (so he'll be alone all day again) and whether this is it. But I just don't know whether the above reasons are reason enough and whether I would feel so terribly guilty afterwards thinking maybe he could have had a few more years. But the incontinence apart from anything else is horrible.

Anyone got any words of advice? I don't suppose there is a magic answer, but opinions from other cat people would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 18:58

Wine is a good idea I think. Your DH will probably want one later. My Dad took our cat when it was time bless him.

alabasterangel · 01/05/2012 19:02

Thank you all so much, this support this support has been invaluable, really.

Just now contemplating what on earth to tell my clued up 3 year old tomorrow.... Atheist hubby would probably be happier without god mentioned, but this is her first experience of death. I don't want to scare her with stories of 'sleep' or illness. She's a bit funny about doctors and hospital stuff anyway... This is all so bloody depressing!!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 19:06

I think the fact that the cat is very very old may be something to focus on with the three year old. Could you say it was old age? She may accept that better than mentioning anything about vets/illness etc.

Onlyaphase · 01/05/2012 20:37

My 5 year old was actually very practical and interested when my dad's dog (living with us) died. She was fine with the explanation that the dog was very old and tired and felt very ill, and as he wasn't going to get better the kind thing to do was to ask the vet for a special injection to help him go to sleep and then he died.

I think kids that age don't do grief or sadness in the same way adults do. Her first question was asking if my dad was going to get another dog. Just what a grieving adult needed to hear.

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 21:24

Hope you are all okay alabaster.

alabasterangel · 01/05/2012 22:17

Yep, am ok. Just.

Awful I know but as soon as DH had gone to the vets I had to bin bedding things and donate food to a neighbour with a cat. Feel shit doing it, but frankly that's what felt best.

Vet reiterated to DH that nothing else could have been done...

I appreciate he had a good, good life.... Vet said 19 years 'spectacular' to DH. All that time he's been doted on and loved. So many animals don't have that. Even moving house he's been a priority - whether places are suitable, and when I was pg you wouldn't believe how much I worried the cat would be upset by it all. I did all i can, I know that, and think I know underneath that had I just been doing this out of convenience over mess it would have been over a long, long time ago.

Poor old mog.

Will address it with DD tomo. My mum(who she adores) is arriving for a stay at lunchtime. She's too far away to see daily. Have primed mother with details of stars, v v old etc. She'll probably not bat an eyelid now I've steeled myself....

In the meantime feel like i could sleep for 12 hours am so exhausted. Off to feed baby then sleep. Drained to say the least.

I cannot repeat enough how grateful I am for the support on here -so much understanding, thank you x

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2012 22:22

I am glad you are as ok as you can be. I'll catch up with you tomorrow.

alabasterangel · 01/05/2012 22:24

Thank you sparkling, you're a hero x

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 01/05/2012 23:01

It is so hard - but it will get easier when you realise that you have, in the end, carried out your last act of kindness for him.

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2012 23:13

Welling up here. Wish I had been brave enough to make the decision last year for our boy. (That was cancer). Dreadful person that I am I left him out in the sun after cleaning up the latest poo and went out for lunch with my family. While we were out he walked in front of a car. Neighbours saw and called vet but I'll never forget saying goodbye to the poor boy after he'd died.
It sounds to me (licking fireplace?) that there is a lot more going on here than can be seen from outside. Rest in peace puss.

alabasterangel · 02/05/2012 06:29

Thank you. Couldn't sleep.

Find life bloody ironic sometimes. My faith in karma is rapidly diminishing - I'd been waiting weeks and weeks for news from awkward employers that id been granted part time status after mat leave. Huge battle to get it and was granted it the day before this happened. After months of stress about it I was elated, for about 12 hours, then this cat stuff cracked off again and that was squashed. Now today, just when I need it the least, I'm woken in the night with raging wisdom tooth ache. Really wish life would give me a break right now!!

Coming down this morning was the hardest. So, so quiet. It's normally the only time of the day me and the mog were alone and he'd be squeaking for food. Utter silence, not only the lack of the mog, but his electric water bowl thingy switched off and no click clack of claws on the tiles. Urgh urgh urgh so horrible.

V sad of course. I know it was 'kindest'. I know it would have happened anyway eventually. I do still feel guilt though and I just hope that guilt gets replaced with nicer feelings soon.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 02/05/2012 08:19

Loving home = new arrival. It is probably too soon now, but you can't beat a kitten for cheering you up (have you seen the kitten pics on Pinot's profile?)

I still miss my old mog and it was 18 months ago - I still think I catch sight of her in the corner of my eye, and when I walk in the upstairs lounge it is still a sad surprise that she is not lying on the window seat in the sunshine. I can't get another as my DD is allergic.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. At all.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2012 08:26

Morning alabaster. Sorry you had a sleepless night, understandable really though, I imagine it was hard to switch off.

When we had to have our cat PTS the children and I went out and bought one of these the C1 model. It sits in the garden as a reminder for us.

Hope all goes ok with telling your LO. Maybe get her a little cuddly toy cat as a reminder? x

alabasterangel · 02/05/2012 09:11

Thank you. Cat reminder for the garden and toy both ideas we'll use this week. I like the ornament things, quite tasteful.

Yes Exit I have no doubt it won't be the last cat I have. But never a housecat again. It's a big regret actually (although I also know if he had been an outdoor car he probably wouldn't have got to 19) but I was told as a kitten that he was in poor health (litter runt, kidney problems, how ironic then he lived so long!!) and vet said because I lived on a major A road in a big city (as a student) that it would probably be best to have him as a housecat. Time went on, I moved house, I wanted to let him outside, but by that time he was about 4 and several people told me he would have no road sense or understanding of cat territorial behaviour. Not sure that's true, but he stayed a housecat happily anyway. It was a nuisance sometimes to check doors were shut etc and trying to see the positive side we can leave all the doors open this summer and the LOs can come in and out of the garden as they please now. Put the washing out just now with the door wide open - felt odd!

DD gave me a huge smile though.... Not sure she has fully understood. Had big chat about v v old cat and v v poorly cat and vet dr unable to help any more, so he's not here any more and gone up to the stars and will be twinkling down on us. V serious face back at me. Broke my heart when she said she would "wish and wish and he''ll come back again". Then she said... I think I'll go downstairs and see if I can find him. I explained the whole thing again, and she said "but I still want to go downstairs". I braced myself to repeat the whole thing yet again (getting choked up!) and she said "cos I'm really hungry and I just want my breakfast..........." - !!!!! Also reminded me that her first was Miaow lol!!!

Trying to be :o) not doing too badly.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2012 09:18

Yes, I'm not a huge fan of gnome-type stuff but those ornaments are nice. Mum got the sleeping cat one when her old boy was PTS.

You must be exhausted today, but looking forward to seeing your Mum I bet. Have you got to run round tidying like I do when my Mum comes? Smile

Your DD sounds so sweet.

alabasterangel · 02/05/2012 10:45

No sparkling, thankfully my mum comes and does the cleaning here - she cannot help herself. Wouldn't matter how much I'd done beforehand she'd still clean again, so I let her do it now. Says it makes her feel useful!!

Thank you again!!! Much much appreciated to have this support.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 02/05/2012 10:55

Didn't realise he was a housecat. If and when you do get another, I find that she cats wander less far than toms. But I could be wrong.

(I have lost two toms at very young ages (1) but had she cats who have both lived into their early 20s).

Onlyaphase · 02/05/2012 12:25

I think a lot of people find they still "see" their cat for years afterwards, out of the corner of their eye around the house. Comforting in a way I think.

I thought of you this morning, coming downstairs to an empty house for the first time. So sorry.

AvengingGerbil · 02/05/2012 12:37

I find Kinky Friedman's farewell to his cat, Cuddles both comforting and moving. It ends:
'Now, as I write this, on a gray winter day by the fireside, I can almost feel her light tread, moving from my head and my heart down through my fingertips to the keys of the typewriter. People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

They say when you die and go to heaven all the dogs and cats you've ever had in your life come running to meet you.
Until that day, rest in peace.'

I'm an atheist, but the thought of my cats coming to meet me again is almost enough to make me wish I weren't.

ExitPursuedByABear · 02/05/2012 12:46

Oh Sad

Hope my horses are there too.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2012 12:55

I can't read the Rainbow Bridge poem without crying.

ripsishere · 02/05/2012 15:37

I think you did the right thing TBH. Better a day too soon than a week too late as someone else said (maybe it was the other way round).
Look after yourself.

alabasterangel · 02/05/2012 19:25

Avenging gerbil;

How perfect those words are.

So very touching......

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2012 19:29

How has your day been alabaster?

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 02/05/2012 20:01

Alabaster, I'm so sorry. xx

I've got an 18 year old tom and we've been through everything together. I dread the evil day of the decision.