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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Free to good home...

44 replies

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/04/2012 21:10

One male bengal. Comes with;

The muddiest paws in the world. Even when it hasnt rained for weeks.
A miaow that could wake the dead.
A bodyclock that says 4am is the perfect time to get up.
What looks like, on first inspection, a starling with rigor mortis. Could be a mistlethrush.

Come on, you know you want him.

OP posts:
Duritzfan · 19/04/2012 21:12

Grin I'll part exchange you a massive hairy
muddy lazy lump of a Maine Coon who will let you sleep til 5 am before demanding breakfast - Wink

Original poster
Fluffycloudland77 · 19/04/2012 21:13

Oooh 5am? you dont know your born.

OP posts:
oreocrumbs · 19/04/2012 21:15

I'll consider an exchange..

One run of the mill ginger tabby he thinks he is a pedigree though who thinks he owns the place, whines like no ones business and is always under your feet on the stairs, on the wrong side of the door etc. Also has a nifty sideline in clipping you round the back of the head.

You also have to take 4 slightly neurotic used dogs and one very energetic toddler.

I'm sorry am unable to split the lot. Grin

Flightty · 19/04/2012 21:18

LOL Grin

Can I throw this one into the mix? She is obsessed with climbing on my desk at roughly 2 o'clock in the morning, making a loud typing noise as she stands on the keyboard, followed by tipping over/rustling about with ANY food item I might have left there (yogurt pot (empty), bit of cheese, crisp packet)(CHOCOLATE fgs) and launching it onto the carpet where she will proceed to try and kill it/eat it/ chase it around for the next ten minutes until you are entirely unable to regain sleep and have run out of things to throw at her from your horizontal situation.

EVERY sodding NIGHT

she is 13

FFS

HarrietSchulenberg · 19/04/2012 21:20

I will offer one grumpy tabby without a tail. Believes he is royalty. Bullies dogs, other cats and small children yet is confused and mildly terrified by rabbits. Eats like hippo.

Original poster
Fluffycloudland77 · 19/04/2012 21:24

Hmm, a toddler and dogs? cant be anymore trouble than the bengal.

Would parcelforce be cruel? should I splash out on UPS?

OP posts:
oreocrumbs · 19/04/2012 21:26

I think the cat would demand UPS, the dogs and DD will be fine with royal mail Grin.

Original poster
Fluffycloudland77 · 19/04/2012 21:28

Prints label....

Throws in furminator and his duvet Blush

OP posts:
putthehamsterbackinitscage · 19/04/2012 21:30

Fluffy - you take dogs n toddler from Oreo and I'll take all the cats....

Lost my Bengal to FIP today SadSadSad

pepperrabbit · 19/04/2012 21:32

No, what you really need ladies, is a small, elderly black and white cat who has just cost me a FORTUNE in vets fees who has a fascinating and rare side effect from her daily tablets - can I offer psoriasis and alopecia (sp?). Tis most attractive to the pre-schooler.
Also will sneak silently into the room when you are working, then as SOON as you answer the phone will yowl at the top of her voice. Makes me leap 3 foot in the air every time.

  • DISCLAIMER - some parts of this cat may fall off before she arrives with you.
pepperrabbit · 19/04/2012 21:33

x-posts!! so sorry Sad

RustyKuntz · 19/04/2012 21:33

Skinny ginger and white fiend on offer here.

Current amusements:

trying to chew (new) laptop cable Angry
trying to chew me when I push him away
biting the innocent sleeping dog as he is forcibly "moved" from my laptop keypad.

Latest presents:

1 Magpie
a grape
DD's bobble

Interests:

Formula One cars (although can't work out where they go as they are def NOT behind the TV screen, no matter how often he chases them there)
chewing the dog
attacking the other cat
the torty kitten from next door but one, current BFF's creating terror everywhere they go.

Likes to stay out all night and then wake you up with a muddy, dribbly kiss as he settles onto the duvet, where he will stay until 6pm. He is a vampire cat methinks.

Any offers? Pics on profile.....can throw in a bag of choc buttons too?

oreocrumbs · 19/04/2012 21:34

Oh no hamster, I'm sorry. Hope you are ok.

RustyKuntz · 19/04/2012 21:34

x-post - sorry for your loss Sad

putthehamsterbackinitscage · 19/04/2012 21:38

Its a bit raw ATM but have promised kids I will get them a new pet in a while....

You're sounds fab, Rusty .... I'll happily put up with all but the magpie (presume it was an ex magpie?)

Original poster
Fluffycloudland77 · 19/04/2012 21:43

I'm so sorry about your bengal.

OP posts:
Auntiestablishment · 19/04/2012 21:43

You can't have either of mine.

1 socialite cat, 13, will make a fuss of anyone who passes through his patch. Particular gift with very old men and teenage boys. Black with some white bits, missing some teeth, habit of vomiting on the carpet. The best, most loving cat in the world (currently curled up next to me).

1 scaredy cat, 6, only goes outside after dark. Enjoys mousing and hiding behind the hot water tank. Probable hunter of The Horror Frog found dead under a bookcase. The one who will sit on my knee and purr into my face as though he never did anything else. Also black & white (and currently out partying with the mice).

Flightty · 19/04/2012 21:46

Oh hamster Sad that's terrible. Poor pusskin.

Rusty I am laughing out loud at the cars going behind the telly.

We didn't have ours when she was a kitten - got her when she was five - but last christmas we got a scalextric for the boys, and she sat and waited behind a pouffe and followed it with her eyes the entire time, and each time it came past she batted it off the rails Grin

We were in hysterics, she's ancient but was just stupid with this thing. FAST MOUSE!

RustyKuntz · 19/04/2012 22:10

Grin My Bert is very special - he has to be met to be believed lol.

Rosie, on the other hand, is a typical cat. She is quite standoffish and from one minute to the next you're not sure if she will allow you to fuss her, or rip your face off if you try!

I currently have a scratch that goes from the bottom of my nose to the top of my lip. What must I have done? The answer - I didn't acknowledge her the first 5 times she patted my face to wake me up the other morning (having not slept all night due to my cold, I was being selfish and sleeping!) Angry

She is lovely though....occasionally.

She only ever paid attention to the tv once. Springwatch was doing a piece on Otters. She chased them round the back of the tv and I have never seen a cat look so pissed off as she did when she couldn't find them, I cried laughing! At least Bert looked perplexed when the cars disappeared, Rosie just took it personally!! Grin

oreocrumbs · 19/04/2012 22:14

Its amazing what cats get away with isn't it.

If DD puts her fingers on the TV DP tells her off, if the cat decides to play catch the fast moving thing on screen DP thinks its hillarious.

Today the cat got revenge on DD. She loves to torment him, she won't give him a moments peace. She was asleep in the highchair, he came strutting in with an attitude, wandered around saw she was asleep and stretched up and bit her toes. Any other animal that came into my kitchen and bit my child would be on the wrong end of my boot - but not the cat.

Different rules apply to cats. Grin

RustyKuntz · 19/04/2012 22:36

Grin I think I love your cat Oreo

You just know it was done because he wanted revenge!

oreocrumbs · 19/04/2012 22:49

Oh totally. I could see it on his face, no shadow of doubt there. He saw a chance and took it. I can't really begrudge him it, he does put up with a lot Grin

He also decides to assert himself with the dogs every now and then. We have 4 working labs, a close pack and the dog is very authorative. Untill the cat decides to put his foot down. Considering that they could destroy him in seconds should they decide to, its a sight to behold watching this small cat sitting in the middle of the stairs staring at 4 large dogs who are politely waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him to allow them to pass Hmm. If only they did that for me Grin

RustyKuntz · 19/04/2012 22:52

Grin that's brilliant.

Before we got Bert, my x-lab (Pip) would always play fight with Rosie. They would spend hours faux-battering each other before snuggling down to sleep together.

Now Bert is on the scene, he and Rosie are constantly fighting/faux-fighting and Pip is so desperate to join in but they won't let her. She could stop them in an instant but nobody has told her that a)she's bigger and b)much stronger than both of them put together!

Cats rule!

RustyKuntz · 19/04/2012 22:52

lab-x that should be (she's not an ex lab!)

threekidsfourcats · 19/04/2012 22:52

1 toothless ginger boy habits include

gumming your elbows at stupid o'clock just for you to open your eyes and look at his gormless fat face with tongue dangling out

keeps your pillow warm whilst cleaning his ahem...bits n pieces

insist on being as close to your nose as possible when he farts

he is generous to a fault and loves to give you back the food he has just 10 seconds ago eaten

when not gumming your elbows to wake you, his snoring usually does

and loves nothing more than to help you achieve your very own bespoke clothing range currently called Ginger on Black

apart from that he is quite a lovable chap Grin

comes with all the usual cat paraphernalia fleas, various worms and ticks food and water bowls