Please help the dog is giving me a nervous breakdown

Well the OP took him on!

@Spambod FGS get the poor dog rehomed! Why on earth are people suggesting PTS? How awful.

Also, if you had so much trouble and so many issues with your previous dog, why on EARTH did you get another dog?! Especially with so much on your plate already. My kids left home a decade ago, I only work part time, I have no parents alive now, and one cat. Very few responsibilities. Just me, DH, and our cat. And even I couldn't be fucked with having a dog. Too much like hard work, expensive, needy, clingy, messy. smelly. (IMO.) I would certainly have not had one with as much on my plate as you appear to have.

Re-home him!

You know that it’s not..mandatory to have a dog, right?

I mean is your life my hard enough already?

i’m genuinely not meaning to be snide. I just don’t get this obsession with dogs. They’re so much work.

I'm also questioning why you took on a dog that was clearly likely to have challenges when you already have so much on your plate. That breed is notorious for health problems if you'd researched it but hindsight is 20/20 hey. I think pts a 3yr old dog just for incontinence is actually really unfair unless the vet is telling you there is no quality of life and absolutely no way to treat it. I'd be contacting a local rehoming charity and explaining that you can no longer cope (which is the real crux of the issue rather than the dog itself) and ask them to find the dog a suitable home. At least then you know the dog will be looked after/ matched to someone with the financial means and time available to commit to them. Just putting to sleep because you are past it with them and didn't do your due diligence in the first place isn't really fair. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it's unfair to take your mistake out on the dog.

This dog also doesn’t like people or other dogs.
And especially doesn’t like vets.
And isn’t just not housetrained, it lies in poo, sleeps in it, walks it around the floor.

It’s better to pts rather than subject it to a life in and out of rescues.

"He has allergies and a bone condition, he is reactive with dogs and people, he is unpredictable so always on a lead. In my view he isn’t rehomable."

Also he doesn't need to be rehomable to be returned to a shelter. The shelter I volunteer at have a designated section for dogs that are not rehomable and will be there for their lifetime. This is getting busier due to the amount of dogs being purchased from puppy farms/inbreeding situations. The charity have specific funding and sponsors for those dogs and a home from home set up where they work on issues like reactivity etc and get them extensive medical attention. So please don't just rule out other options. Do your research and see what charity in your area might do similar and rehome with them. There also should be a clause in your purchase of the dog in the first instance that you would return them to the rehoming centre you got them from. This is pretty standard.

Have to ask why you got another dog after your last one was PTS

It's not easy to rehome a dog with those problems

I’d personally be asking the vet to do more to get to the bottom of his incontinence because sitting in it means he’s not aware he’s doing it. I have an adopted paralysed dog, severed spine so no feeling at the back end. She’s completely easy to care for in terms of hygiene it’s not really an issue. She doesn’t know when she’s going but I express her four times a day, takes a couple of minutes it’s clean and easy. If I go out (work at home) or when I’m in bed or she’s out in her wheels she wears a nappy with a panty liner just incase. She’s raw fed so her poops never bad just firm and small, we rarely have any mess in the house. Aside from a little extra hygiene and physiotherapy she lives life like any other dog.
I completely understand it’s not easy but it doesn’t have to be as difficult as you have it, for both your sakes please work with your vet to find out what’s causing so many problems.

Hmm, tbh, I think I’d get a new vet... it kind of sounds a bit like yours has gone, well it’s a frenchie they’re knackered rather than actually investigating anything and seeing if there’s any treatment options.

”Skippy” back legs could be neurologist, it could also be hip dysplasia or luxating patella (or I’m sure plenty of other things) but both of those cause pain, which could be causing the pooing issue... and the reactivity as well.

Yes lots of frenchies have health issues that can cause gait problems, but it’s not normal as in, they have a medical issue that may need treatment/management not just, yeah, frenchies do that.

Did you even read the OP? The dog has spinal issues, most likely this is causing the incontinence.

The dog has not been forced into pooping everywhere from lack of exercise.

OP, get a check up and see if there's anything to be done.

If there is - Great, give it a go. If there isn't you have a couple of choices, one being that you try to find the dog a home with someone who is able to accommodate for his issues or two, you can choose to have him PTS.

What you do will depend on his quality of life I think. If he has spinal issues causing this then he is likely to also be in pain.

If you ever do get another dog, please buy a breed that has little hereditary issues and is a hardy, trainable breed.

Good for you OP for rescuing this poor creature but it sounds really tough and I can’t understand why Frenchies are allowed to be bred!
what can we do about this? Petition?

His quality of life is poor. With all what you have going on in your life, I think PTS is the kindest thing you can do.

In response to one poster - please do not try raw feeding if you have a dog that poos everywhere and have young children. The infection risk would be ridiculous

Sounds really difficult OP, you have so much on your plate. What was the decision process about getting the rescue dog? I just can’t get my head round that.
but I hope you get some good vet advice and find a way forward. Just please maybe don’t get another dog in future for your own sanity!

For goodness sake, why do you keep taking on sick/runty bad pedigree dogs when you have two disabled children?
If you insist on having a dog then get the best of the mongerel litter, a really healthy one or get a couple of young cats.
You have enough on your plate already.

Aw bless you, you have absolutely done the right thing by him. Wholeheartedly agree it’s time these and several other breeds were banned from being bred in their current form. A life expectancy of less than 5 is beyond ridiculous, especially when for most, those years are filled with health issues and pain.

You've done absolutely the right thing OP.

Really sorry but you did the kindest thing.

I think you did the right thing and I have dogs as well as volunteering for a few breed rescues for French Bulldogs.

Sorry to hear the update, but probably the best thing for the poor boy. Shocking statistic re Frenchie life span.

Ignore the self-righteous brigade who can’t be bothered to read your posts properly 💐

Aww so sorry OP, you made the right decision.