Are we ready for a puppy despite my worries?

[Darksideoftheprune]

Grew up with a german shepherd and she was amazing. My own mother insists that she still hated having a dog, too much hassle etc.

I have wanted a dog since our childhood dog died but only now that I am nearly 40 am I in the position to have one. I have 3 children 6-11 years and the two oldest have been asking to get a dog for around 6 years now. One child is Asd & adhd so finds school very hard and can often go into burnout, she loves animals and she finds dogs very theraputive and they seen to turn her mood around.

We relocated last year and now live in a 5 bed house, big garden, in a village and have the most amazing walks right on our doorstep, including hills and a reservoir. I work a few hours a week on the laptop but really I don't have to work, so I can offer a lot of time to train and raise a pup and not sleep for a while. My husband also works from home 3-4 days a week so there is always someone home.

Decided on getting a golden retriever due to temperament and how active they are (I love walking in nature) and have found an amazing breeder from champdogs who has just had a litter of pups and we will reserve with her once we have met them/our pup.

I'm so so excited to finally be getting a dog but the more i've researched and read online a little bit of anxiety has crept in about the puppy blues and the regrets people seem to have once they get a dog and feeling 'trapped'.

I can't think of any huge reasons why we shouldn't get a dog, we prefer to holiday in the uk (went to crete this year and was hard hard work). We sometimes separate the family to do different things due to conflict with the kids (Asd child doesn't want to do what others want to do) so we have a lot of flexibility.

Someone please reassure me that we are a good candidate for a puppy and i'm doing the right thing and I've got this? I've so wanted a dog all my life but in the back of my mind I'm still just an irresponsible teenager figuring life out (never mind I've birthed 3 children 😅). My husband is on board but i'm going to be the primary caregiver in terms of training and day to day. My mums negativity (she doesnt want us to get one but cant tell me why other than they are hard work) also plays a bit of a part in the niggling feeling.

@r0ck very frustrating! 😞They can be very helpful as a starting point, but they have definite 'favourite' breeders they try and steer people toward...but that's the same with most breeders/owners/those involved in the dog world. We all have our 'favourites' and we all have breeders that we wouldn't piss on if they were on fire!😳

And yes @Dunnocantthinkofone agree on mental stimulation!!! My youngest girl (DWS) gets an hour in the morning followed by 15 minutes training. She's then basically asleep until gone midday. No need for kongs or puzzle matts. (Plus I like to be the one giving her food to build that bond/association with me being the one who gives rewards)! One day I am going to gather all the kongs and puzzle matts in England and throw them onto a bonfire...

You sound like you are as ready as you can be for a puppy ❤️

I would really research the breeder you plan to get your puppy from, do they breed for show lines or for temperament? Can you meet both parents? Have they had a litter from that pair of dogs before and can you meet any older siblings or speak to their owners?

A good breeder will ask you lots of questions about your family and what you want from a pet and guide you to the best match in their litter. If they let you just pick any puppy you want, be wary!

Consider taking an experienced dog behaviourist along to meet the puppies and help you assess which dog shows the best temperament for your particular family set up and needs.

Echoing what others have said - you sound like a really good family for a dog!

We have a lab who will be 2 in November, so not a dissimilar breed to a GR. He's great but been bloody hard work and I had puppy blues HARD. He's gradually mellowed out but he's still an excitable goof and it's been quite the eye opener!

We don't have kids but people who do have told me it's like having a toddler for the first few years - so, do you want another toddler? 🤣

Agree with previous posters that you sound much more set up for bringing a dog into your lives than some people.

Things to consider -
Who will have the dog if you all want to go out for the day and your dog can't come? I'm thinking a theme park or family wedding.
Do any of your children have allergies? This seems to be a major factor in lots of dogs ending up in rescues.
If you take the dog on holiday often you are not allowed to leave the dog alone in the accommodation. Who will stay with the dog if the weather is very hot or you want to go to something where dogs aren't allowed e.g. not allowed on the beach.

Another key thing is that just as your children are going to uni/leaving home you will potentially have a very old, very limiting dog at precisely the point when you and your husband could be free to do as you please. I don't think many people think of this stage of their dog's life before getting a dog. In my experience a dog's old age is often MUCH more restrictive and limiting than the puppy years and can go on for a few years or more.

Golden retrievers tend to live longer than labs. Mine was 14, I know two in our neighbourhood who are 17. Noone is ever prepared for how hard work a puppy is but they also bring immense joy.

Golden retrievers tend to live longer than labs. Mine was 14, I know two in our neighbourhood who are 17. Noone is ever prepared for how hard work a puppy is but they also bring immense joy.

You sound like you've done as much thinking and planning as you can! FWIW I am currently on day 5 as a new puppy owner (he's puppy number 7 overall but our first in almost 13 years)

He's 10 weeks old and an absolute dream, the best of the 7 by miles (though there's plenty of time for it to go wrong yet!) but it's so all consuming. It takes me forever to do the morning routine because I'm constantly watching him, taking him for a wee, picking up puppy toys, walking him (in his rucksack) or doing something else puppy related. It also takes me three times as long to get anywhere as people keep stopping to speak to him!

When I look back at previous puppies I'm amazed I ever had the time to devote to them. I suppose now that DS has left home he's a surrogate child in a way and takes my attention in a way that a puppy couldn't previously when I was in the trenches of parenthood.

Having had dogs all my adult life I could never imagine being without one, despite the fact that I have to be up at 0430hrs to make sure he's sorted before I leave for work 😉