New puppy cannot be left alone and I am worried about work

[Adrundel]

I got a new puppy who’s nearly 6 months old last weekend- I absolutely love him!
I purposefully got a slightly older puppy as work and while I work from home I do need to go into office too/ I had a plan of doggy daycare 1 day and a dog walker on the other office days to break the day up.l where I’m in the office. I have time off work to settle him which has been going wonderfully.

However, the pup can not be left (and I mean for seconds) without crying, barking, howling.
i nipped out and was watching him on the camera and he chewed my bag and a basket and was crying. When I came back in, he had weed inside and had been so stressed he was drooling and quite wet. The area was puppy safe- I have absolutely no idea how the bag was knocked down from the table- it must have fallen as on the camera it was on the table at one point.
I couldn’t care less about objects or cleaning up- I am just worried about the puppy’s wellbeing. I thought I had a solid plan for office days and feel absolutely stressed and over whelmed now.

i have done a lot of researching and everything says about building up but I can’t not go back to work after Easter. Also the second (as in second too!) I leave the room to start building up he is quite hysterical.

A full days doggy day care for all the days is also financially not possible but of course I’m not going to leave him in distress but i really can’t stress how much financial pressure it’ll be for me.

he had a big walk and had been toilet/ eaten/ left with licky mat/ radio on. He isn’t crate trained but has a soft pen (crate like)- even if I am sat with him he goes absolutely beserk to the point where I was worried he’d hurt himself if the door is shut. I am also concerned re noise levels of him barking/ howling.

I have literally spent all night researching there is quite alot of conflicting advice. I also know he’s very new but I am sure you can understand why I am so worried. He has settled in beautifully apart from this. I have contacted a dog trainer tonight to try and cover all bases- I just want him to be happy :(

I would very much welcome any advice/ stories of reassurance.

If you live in the south east I would have him during the day!

You can't possibly miss work to look after a dog. Maybe you can work from home for a bit or take annual leave. Sounds like your whole life is going to revolve round this dog. This dog seems very very needy.

aww very far from the SE unfortunately!

I feel so stupid- this was a bit of a financial stretch over all but I budgeted for the dog walker/ insurance/ daycare etc and I don’t know how to fix this with a short time scale. I’ve had dogs all my life and never known this type of reaction to be honest. I cannot leave him in this state but the difficulty is this state is within minutes of leaving any room never mind going to work!

What breed is he?

I can’t really work from home due to the nature of the job more than the 1/2 days I do unfortunately.
I have already taken AL and I can’t really take anymore at a key time at work (Easter holidays)

he is extremely needy which I really did not anticipate at all! Perhaps my own fault tho

Was he with his breeder for the full six months before he came to you? What was their set up?

Where has he been for the previous 6 months? Was he being trained and socialised? Was he used to being left alone? I understand wanting an older puppy, but surely that only works if the people who had the puppy previously have laid the groundwork for you.

he was. She was keeping him but then decided not to hence him being older.
he lived with lots of other little dogs and younger dogs and his mum. I think his sister was there but to be honest there was lots of little dogs and I couldn’t really keep up with who was who. It was nice enough but very full of dogs!
the lady was home all the time with them (or at least the majority of the time but I got the impression it was all of it)

This sounds difficult, but you’ve done the right thing in contacting a dog trainer.
Much may depend on what life has been like for him up to now. Did he live with other dogs? In a busy household? He’s clearly very scared when he is alone.
Have you tried leaving the radio on low when you leave him? This helped one of my dogs to settle.
You will get through this. Hopefully someone who has been in your situation will come along with advice for you.
You sound like a very caring owner.

It’s separation anxiety. What’s his background? He’s only been with you for less than a week and will need time to settle.

I cross posted and just read your update. I very much doubt he’ll be able to be left for long after living in a house with other dogs and his human being there all the time. He’s still very young at 6 months to leave for long no matter his background.

I’m in Aus so it may not be a thing near you but people often post on local FB pages here asking if anyone wants a dog for company or willing to have their dog so the dog won’t be alone all day and generally seem to get good responses. I guess the downside is that your puppy might be hard work for someone but the upside is that it is probably very cute! Worth a try?

with the breeder- I’m not entirely convinced I got the full story as she said how she’s been training etc which I’m not convinced is the reality. Just bits don’t really add up as she said he was crate trained but it’s clear he is not in any way and there was also no crates in her house- the dogs were fenced off by a partition in her lounge

saying that though, since he’s been home he’s learnt to walk beautifully on his lead (although I think that’s partly because he won’t leave my side rather then actually the lead work!) and is out and about with me and friendly to other dogs/ people. He has also done very well with his toilet training so maybe I’m being a bit harsh on her

Our dog was like this to start with - thank god for wfh, because I don't know what we'd have done.

Is there any way you could take annual leave or wfh? During that time you could work really hard on getting him used to being on his own. We used the Door is a Bore program which you can get online. You basically start from scratch - sit on the sofa, get up, sit back down. Repeat many times. Stand up, walk to the door of the room, sit back down. Repeat. Go to door, open it, sit back down. Open door, go through it, sit back down. Repeat. Gradually work up to going out of the front door in this way. Stay outside for 30 seconds. Back in. Out for a minute. Back in. Gradually extend that. Leave a treat like a licky mat when you go outside so he starts to connect you leaving with nice things. Don't go too fast, don't fuss over him when you go back indoors, pretty much ignore him, and if he gets upset go back a stage or 2. It's all about building confidence very, very gradually. Good luck - separation anxiety is a tough one.

I see that hé did live with a lot of other dogs. Would you consider getting another? I know this could be too expensive though and you might not want 2 anyway.

Sorry - just saw you can't wfh more often or take a/l.

Is she a puppy farmer ?

Whilst this rule primarily applies to rescue dogs, I think the same broad advice works for pups too. At this stage, he’s still decompressing so the crying and anxiety isn’t abnormal.

I used a dog trainer and a programme similar to ‘Be Right Back’. It does take a while and the recommendation is that they’re not left alone during training.
can you take the short time financial hit on daycare whilst you build it up maybe?
I’ve been here! I know how tough it is! Best of luck.

Sorry, but the entire seller info sounds incredibly dodgy! Multiple, different dogs running about! What breed is your dog supposed to be? Were you told it had been trained to stay at home alone, ALL day long? Its a 6mth old puppy that you've had for a week. The poor thing has lived with multiple dogs, and now you want to crate it and leave it home alone for hours on end!

Have you ever owned dog OP?

Your best bet at the moment is full time dog daycare as he can’t be left alone as you said. A week isn’t enough to settle a new dog into a home. You’ll need to train him very gradually into staying on his own. This isn’t probably what you want to hear but it will take a long time for him to be left for a couple of hours. Dogs are social animals and there are people who leave them all day while they’re working but it’s not something we’ve ever done or would do if they’re an only dog.

Have you withheld the breed for any particular reason op?

You were going to get a puppy and then after one week leave him all alone in your house for presumably hours at a time, with someone popping in once a day to check on him? And you thought this was ok? Not at all cruel?

An adult, low-maintenance dog should never be left alone for more than 3-4 hours. In their own home, that they are fully acclimatised to. A baby shouldn't be left for more than a few minutes, and then only once they're fully settled into their new home. This should very slowly and carefully be increased over a space of months, though even then, some dogs will never be able to be left for long. Especially the super cute, cuddly ones. They've been bred to worship and cling to their humans - what do you think happens when their humans abandon them? Fucking hell.

I don’t think so- most of them were her pets and she had lots of photos of them on display. I suppose it’s possible but it seemed quite elaborate if she was. I do think she likely had quite a few litters though

i did go and see another puppy that was younger a month or so ago and walked away as got puppy farm vibes

No? That is not what I was going to do- for the less then 6 hours including travel I am out the house 3 times a week the dog walker (who isn’t a stranger!) was going to do puppy drops ins leading up to walks etc meaning the puppy would be alone for max an hour and half? I also got an older puppy as agree this would be unworkable for say an 8w old puppy. I also looked round a doggy day care facility (which frankly was nicer then my kids nursery when they were little) with the plan for settling sessions to see how he got on there so 1 day in time he could go there. I wouldn’t be this worried about how unsettled he is if I was going to leave a young dog for a working day with 1 half hour walk a day as I wouldn’t care?

unfortunately, to afford a dog, mortgage and to live I do actually have to work as do many dog owners who put plans in place to ensure there dog is having enrichment, care and company.

thanks for your judgement though!

See if you can find someone to help on borrow my doggy or even a sitter via Rover which is usuallY cheaper (and calmer) than full on “daycare”