New puppy cannot be left alone and I am worried about work

[Adrundel]

I got a new puppy who’s nearly 6 months old last weekend- I absolutely love him!
I purposefully got a slightly older puppy as work and while I work from home I do need to go into office too/ I had a plan of doggy daycare 1 day and a dog walker on the other office days to break the day up.l where I’m in the office. I have time off work to settle him which has been going wonderfully.

However, the pup can not be left (and I mean for seconds) without crying, barking, howling.
i nipped out and was watching him on the camera and he chewed my bag and a basket and was crying. When I came back in, he had weed inside and had been so stressed he was drooling and quite wet. The area was puppy safe- I have absolutely no idea how the bag was knocked down from the table- it must have fallen as on the camera it was on the table at one point.
I couldn’t care less about objects or cleaning up- I am just worried about the puppy’s wellbeing. I thought I had a solid plan for office days and feel absolutely stressed and over whelmed now.

i have done a lot of researching and everything says about building up but I can’t not go back to work after Easter. Also the second (as in second too!) I leave the room to start building up he is quite hysterical.

A full days doggy day care for all the days is also financially not possible but of course I’m not going to leave him in distress but i really can’t stress how much financial pressure it’ll be for me.

he had a big walk and had been toilet/ eaten/ left with licky mat/ radio on. He isn’t crate trained but has a soft pen (crate like)- even if I am sat with him he goes absolutely beserk to the point where I was worried he’d hurt himself if the door is shut. I am also concerned re noise levels of him barking/ howling.

I have literally spent all night researching there is quite alot of conflicting advice. I also know he’s very new but I am sure you can understand why I am so worried. He has settled in beautifully apart from this. I have contacted a dog trainer tonight to try and cover all bases- I just want him to be happy :(

I would very much welcome any advice/ stories of reassurance.

the puppy would be alone for max an hour and half?

I’m in agreement with @OtherS you brought a 6 month old puppy home (basically a 24 week old puppy) and expected to leave the dog for an hour and a half after having it in your home for less than a week. That’s totally irresponsible. You’ve also not mentioned the breed and many people have asked.

Julie Naismith's books and online programme are the gold standard for separation anxiety, but also look up the 3-3-3 rule for adopting dogs - it's usually applied to rescue dogs but your pup will still be incredibly unsettled and in a brand new environment, especially if he's never lived without other dogs before.

Ok I’m irresponsible then- not sure what you want me to say?

it’s not a week either by the time I would actually be in the office.

he’s a chihuahua. Apologies, I haven’t meant to not answer that one.

Thank you I was looking at the earlier actually
i I will have another look tomorrow

Can you start crate training him and use puzzle feeders to keep him entertained. Build up the time you leave him slowly whilst he’s busy with treats.

ooh I see the pup is a chiuaha, all I can say is good luck because the separation anxiety is well known.

they also bark a lot & will absolutely do your neighbours head in if you have any & are close.

there are things you can do. Crate train even in the not quite crate. Just leave the room and come back, fuss the pup and say well done & build up the time. Its so the puppy learns you always come back.

I think you have probably chosen the wrong breed, there are definitely pupa that can be left for yhe time you were thinking but the one you have is needy and will not be left.

any chance pup can go to work with you 🤣

I've got a 7 month old puppy that I can leave for a couple of hours now. But it has taken a long time(months) to get to that point doing door is a bore training. On days I work we have to use doggy daycare at the moment as he is so young. I know it's costly to do daycare but your pup has been with you such a short time and is still decompressing and needs a bit of stability in the early days. Wish you lots of luck as I get how difficult it can be.

I left my pup for 3.5hrs came home at lunchtime to walk her. She was 8/9 weeks old.

she actually never had separation anxiety, never destroyed anything.

she was an absolute joy always happy when I came home, would chill all day on sofa or on the bed (where she shouldn’t have been)

she used to get a lot of exercise to tire her out. Different breed to the OP but it is possible

Please consider your neighbours. Hopefully you are living in a detached house alone in the country.

A perfectly nice woman from Portugal rented the house next door to mine and brought with her an untrained Pomeranian, a very yappy dog, which then she would leave for long stretches along while she went off the work a 10 hour day. The barking was horrendous and within the 18 months that she lived here she became the most hated woman on the street, to the point that people would have a go at her in the street. It was a nightmare as the dog just wouldn't stop barking. In the summer months she'd leave it alone in the garden. We were all so relieved when she finally left!

People are so judgy on here. The first few months of taking in a dog are usually a challenge while everyone adjusts.

I’ve no advice but just want to say good luck and in a few years time you’ll forget this stage altogether and be thinking about getting another one!

It does take time with some dogs and at 6 months, he will be used to a different way of life so it's all a bit of a shock to him. Apart from perhaps getting another so they bond and keep each other company, you're going to have to slowly increase time left alone.
They say big walk, then nice dinner then go out, perhaps toys and a food puzzle for boredom left. When you go, don't fret, don't even say goodbye, just go. Ten mins... then increase the time left alone slowly. Am glad getting a dog walker for the days you're at work, as max 4hrs left alone I think is the rule for dogs.

Dogs are pack animals as a general rule. It's how the work, they thrive on company, human or canine so to be left alone is hard to them.

You need to go back to basics here - you can't even leave the room without the dog crying and going to pieces as it currently stands. This needs to be the first hurdle, before you even think about leaving him alone. What have you done so far to work on this with him/her?

You don't mention his breed, which is even harder then, to advise.

It sounds like your dog is used to having other dogs and humans around all the time. I have heard that chihuahuas are very clingy dogs and can be tough to train.

@Toenailz the OP has said it's a chiwauwa

Borrow my doggy might be an option but you’ll need time to find a good fit so I’d take the financial hit of full time doggy daycare while sorting out a borrow my doggy option. Rover has some cheaper daycare generally

I could have written this post OP!
we rehomed our 12 month havapoo a year ago from a strange woman who owned 6 dogs. This meant he’d never been by himself before. She claimed that he was fine when she went out for a few hours, but it quickly transpired he wasn’t fine by himself.
we also did door is a bore. It’s really boring for all concerned and slow progress. We found we got up to an hour of him by himself before he stared barking again. However if we don’t do it regularly he gets out of practice so we’re having to build up the time again - currently back at 30 mins.
we find the good boy jumbo chicken chews keep him distracted, we also put David Attenborough on the tv for him and leave some dirty clothes on the sofa that smell of us. We have a furbo pet camera to track his progress as you’re not supposed to push them to the point of barking, as then they think you came back because they barked.
when you come home, don’t make eye contact, don’t make a fuss and take the chew off them.
solidarity and ignore all the judgment on here!

I don't know tbh that there is going to be a workable solution here unfortunately; I don't think puppies and working people (unless can wfh) are ever going to be a good idea.
I'd give anything to have another dog myself but as I work I know it would be unfair so I'm waiting until retirement then it is the first thing I will do.

If you do leave him you need to make sure he is safe, so a crate or puppy pen. I appreciate you say he’s not crate trained. Which ever option you go for you need to buy today and start trying to get him used to it, so putting treats in it. Feeding him meals in it. He probably will still be distressed if left In It but sounds like he would be anyway and at least he’s safe. 🤷‍♀️

I have a six month old puppy and i wouldn’t leave him roaming around the house while I was out. He goes in his pen.

I'm 2 years in to a separation anxiety nightmare.
Theres some good resources out there. Id recommend Julie Naismith separation anxiety training, but it's slow going. In the meantime I have some help from borrow my doggy, use doggy daycare once a week and have to sometimes get help from friends if I have appointments etc but haven't got further than an hour with my dog. It's awful, I am very trapped as on my own with her but am just continuing to try and slowly work on building up the time she's left. Like you I had budgeted for a dog and the typical costs involved but can't afford the amount of care I need really. I never leave her for longer than an hour as just not prepared to allow her to be distressed and think it will be counterproductive, but it means my life is very limited currently. My dog was a rescue with a difficult history (although only 1 when I got her) which understandably has made separation anxiety more likely.

It’s absolutely normal what you are going through. The puppy is still a baby and everything and everyone they have ever known has vanished, it’s scary and it takes time to rebuild confidence.

I have an 8 month old puppy who panicked when I went into the bathroom or left the house to start with and I had to work really slowly with him to make sure he didn’t develop permanent separation anxiety. He’s still not comfortable being home alone but he tolerates it for 30-40 minutes. I started with just going to the toilet with the door shut, then when he was fine with that, I had a shower with the door shut, took the recycling out, walked down the street for a 2-3 minutes and came back etc. Basically just added a few seconds every time I left the house but made sure I left him several times a day. I also made him a spot in the window where he can see me come and go + watch the world go by for entertainment.

Crating is illegal where I live so can’t comment on that as I don’t really agree with it but limiting the space like you are doing is a good idea. Going to daycare is also a good idea and maybe you have to take the financial hit temporarily until the puppy is comfortable being home alone.

I agree. Unfortunately he’s come from a “pack” and never known any difference. His separation anxiety is severe and it will take a lot of time and patience to “cure”. There are some excellent books and resources around but spending time with him will be crucial and it doesn’t sound as if you have time in abundance. For example, one of the first things you’ll need to get him used to is you just leaving by the room and him reacting “normally”. You have to set him up to succeed each and every time because every time he becomes anxious it reinforces his behaviour and it’s a vicious circle. I have managed to train a dog out of it but luckily myself and the owner (not my dog) are hybrid, so we were able to make it work over a few months. Unfortunately when you get an older dog they are likely to have their hang ups.

Do you know anyone who has a friendly dog that gets on with yours? I just wonder what’s he’d be like if you left them for 10 min together in your house. I look after my friend’s dogs occasionally and it was really handy because they would quite happily pup-sit for us for an hour.

Personally I think if you get an older pup there’s usually a reason why they either haven’t sold as a younger pup or their owner has decided to rehome. People want rid so sadly they may not always be honest. We looked at doing this but ended up getting a 12 week old pup in the end and we did leave her from day 1 so she is used to it.

If your puppy is used to people being around all day and other dogs etc then it will take a LOT of work to change this. Or contact the breeder and if they’re reputable they will take the dog back.

That sounds very stressful, I feel for you. You can get ‘heartbeat toys’ for pups that can help them; I would suggest that you try and make it smell like you too. It’s only a small thing but you never know which small thing might make the difference. Good luck :)

A friend had the same issue with a rescue dog. She was effectively a prisoner in her own home. She enlisted the help of a very good trainer and followed the advice and did all the work (leaving dog and walking to the end of the drive and hiding behind the hedge for 30 seconds was how it was initially). It was a hard slog but the dog became an absolutely amazing family dog who could be left alone. He’d get a bit anxious when people were getting ready to leave but once they were gone he settled as he knew they’d come back.
It can be done, but it’s a lot of commitment and work. Get a good trainer on board and be prepared to put a lot of man hours in over the next few months. Perhaps doggy daycare in the meantime when you have to go to work?
Good luck xx