Beyond Adolescence - part 2

[SpanielsGalore]

No point banning coffee, as it didn't work last time. 🙄
Haven't had any cake updates from a while. @VanGoSunflowers Have you stopped baking already? You still had 8 cakes to go to make it economical.

@TheHungryHungryLandsharks Sorry, but I laughed out loud at your DH shoving TD in the car and scarpering. 😂😂 Was he chuckling at his own sneakiness as he drove off?

@Silverbirchleaf Yes, Tollers are retrievers. I think of them as small GR and big cocker spaniels.
I'll have to try the challenge. I predict I'll get as far as a fullstop. 😂

I am but I've not seen the challenge yet! Bill is such a diva he'd probably ignore the kibble anyway - though I tried giving him a small bit of dry kibble as a snack when he got back from the Common yesterday lunchtime, in case he was hungry after running around, and he ended up eating 100g and asking for more 🙄

I really need to think about this too. My emergency contact for my daycare is my brother, but he already has a dog (the size of a squirrel) and two young children, as well as a job that involves a lot of travel to That London etc. I don't think he could manage a Bill on top of that, but I do need to have the conversation and decide what I would like to happen if I get hit by a bus or eaten by a Bill bear

I asked my neighbour across the street if I could give her a door key, so in an emergency she could see to the dogs. I was imagining getting a flat tyre and having to wait hours for the RAC. She had me dying at home and the dogs feeding on my decaying corpse.

@CoubousAndTourmaIet he's maligned because he's a Twat (hence the name)!!! But I do love him.

It's good how Brie knows how to respond to Freija's commands and body language - not all dogs are that smart!

Oh bless Brie for showing her excitement and happiness in such a way, even if it is a bit frustrating for you! I do know what you mean though - that stage where they are huge but don't know their own strength/how to be gentle is really challenging. Then, one day, they seem to get it but you still spend the next few months on edge just expecting them to be stupid again.

I'd forgotten about the 'wart' incident 😂DD2 constantly use to declare that Twatdog had lumps when she was younger, and of course it was just his nipples...she didn't realise boy dogs had nipples. Have you explained to your partner that the harness won't hurt her? 😁

I know what you mean about struggling to stop them jumping - particularly if it's someone they know. With mine a firm no and redirect with treats works, but sometimes they'll take the treat and and then try again. Clever babies.

@SpanielsGalore I don't know if he was chuckling as he was already gone! He clearly expected my annoyance though as when we got to the halfway point he was waiting there with a coffee for me. To be fair, Twatdog is my baby so I do quite like him in my car - even if he whines - I was just mostly worried about him sitting on Eris, but it turned out she was more than willing to sit on him, so it was fine.😀

@Bupster if you're looking for a willing victim to take on Bill, I volunteer (although he may not want to live with my merry band of idiots)!!

We have a vaccinated dog. Success at the vets (who also said he was very smart and in great condition). That’s my win for the week.

Did you see that Essential foods have updated their site again @tizwozliz ?
The EU made food seemingly being phased out.

The nipple thing is funny @TheHungryHungryLandsharks , the harness has loads of room and is very soft. He also insists that wearing it stops her from doing a poo 😂 It absolutely doesn't btw. I think he just finds it embarrassing, like it's unmanly in some way, which would be fair enough if she was in Barbie pink, but it's black. Perhaps he'll be the same when her waterproof coat arrives.

So she was on the martingale collar tonight instead and she completely put the brakes on for him when he tried to exit the field. She sat down and did the eye rolling thing, so we had to turn around and do another complete loop.

With regard to the emergency contact thing, it was actually on the questionnaire we had to fill in when we got Brie. I suppose before we never gave it much thought because mum & dad had PMD. So with Brie I had to ask my cousins if they were okay with it. We now have a keysafe @SpanielsGalore as a just in case.

We have a Christmas training challenge of teaching crossed paws. I've tried it previously without much success. Spelling out XMAS in kibble is much more straightforward.

@CoubousAndTourmaIet i do like how passive Brie is as a communicator - just sits and eye rolls. Gets her point across nicely!

I do sometimes wonder if I am just very odd - but I can’t imagine a situation where anyone brings home a puppy and is so stressed they have heart palpitations and can’t sleep or eat…but apparently it’s normal?! Perhaps I am a bit of a dick (entirely possible) bur if someone bought a puppy from me and told me they were having those symptoms I’d be very concerned about them and the puppies welfare!

Freezing walk this morning (just how I like it). It was so cold and pitch black I nearly turned home, but I’m expecting to be in the office until gone 7 tonight so I wanted some time with the babies. 😩I do love my job, but the time zone differences do kill me a bit - 7:30 meetings in the morning and then 6pm meetings at night are awful!

I was going to mention that one @TheHungryHungryLandsharks
To me it's off. The language is very odd. Since when do we say "cute as a button", "potty trained". It sounds fake. Could be American speech I suppose, but sounds more AI to me. But very often ones with the word snail in the username is one of the anti-dog lot stirring trouble. I could be wrong but to me that one doesn't feel genuine. But if it is, I'm concerned for that puppy.

I know we had a poster on puppy group (peachgreen) who had horrendous puppy blues and was panicky, crying, really struggling but we could all tell she was 100% genuine and we helped her through. That felt very different from the thread today... Or am I being unfair? Dunno.

Work sounds really hard for you - that is a hellish long day. I hope you get regular breaks to refuel on coffee and cake x

We did have puppy blue and I was in tears. But it changed from minute to minute! One minute they frustrating the hell out of you, the next minute they’re being cute and adorable. Must admit, I never got the ‘soul mate’ or ‘best friend’ vibes either and perhaps still don’t. ‘You’re going to the dogs trust’ was a threat I used more than once when he was younger!

I definitely had puppy blues too, but not to the level of physical health issues. I definitely had intrusive thoughts near the beginning of trying to think of an excuse to send him back to the breeder, and I had shed more than a few tears over it all but was very fortunate that none of that lasted very long at all. I definitely didn’t lose my appetite - and I usually do go off food when I’m very stressed.

I agree it doesn’t seem real somehow but if it is, I hope that poster can get the help/support she needs.

@Silverbirchleaf everyone is different with their relationships with their dogs I guess. I know for me, the soul mate thing hit me hard a few months ago and I credit Pablo with making it easy and preferable to remain single because I never feel lonely these days and I have a dim view of men 😂
He has definitely made me more introverted - ha.

Mind you @TheHungryHungryLandsharks , I do have a low tolerance threshold for drama over a puppy nipping or weeing or just being a perfectly normal puppy 😬 I mean, what do people expect? It's why I never bred a litter. 10 puppies, fine, dealing with 9 prospective owners - nightmare. No idea how you do it.

I had very bad puppy blues with Finn @Silverbirchleaf @VanGoSunflowers , so I do sympathise. It was just the wording of that one for me compared to some of the lovely new owners on puppy thread.

Soulmate/best friend doesn't always happen @Silverbirchleaf , I've only had that with five of our eight dogs. I never really connected on that level with Mag, Sylvie or Finn. No idea why; they were gorgeous, I just didn't ever feel a deep love for them like I did for the rest. It happens or it doesn't.

With Brie it took a while. At 5 or 6 months I was thinking I had the wrong dog and I still longed for a boy. Now I adore her. I'm more than a little obsessed with her, truth be told. She's my whole life.

I'm glad Pablo has enriched your life so much too @VanGoSunflowers ❤

I've just posted on that thread because whether it's fake or not someone else reading it will be going through the same and they deserve a support from afar not snark.

I lurked on the Doghouse for a long time before I emerged and I struggled through my very real puppy blues alone. I've talked about this before but dog-dad was bloody useless as he was away and he didn't get it. Just kept saying 'she's just a puppy, how hard can it be' which made me want to throttle him.

But I didn't eat properly for weeks. I hated her, I hated myself for what I'd done – even though I was desperate for her to he in my life. I didn't know how to deal with the way she chewed at me constantly. She just drove me insane. I slept well but only because she slept downstairs on her own from the first night and I went upstairs where I couldn't hear her. She gave me hives and as I said on that thread I went to the doctor because I didn't know what to do. All it was was stress and for me it came out of the lack of control I had. So one day I just took back control and approached the concept of her differently and that is the foundation of where we are today. (I recognise now that there were other factors at play but those were not clear to me until very recently.)

Obviously now pupsy is the most amazing girlie and I wouldn't he without her and hope that I have to wait a very, very long time until I am. But all of that is to say that I am not wet or pathetic or otherwise mentally unstable. I am a stiff upper lip, 20th century kind of girl who grew up falling off naughty ponies and into ditches. Those of you who have met me here know that. But pupsy floored me like nothing I'd experienced before and that's OK. So let's not judge people for how their body randomly reacts to stuff that they probably can't control.

I felt particularly strongly about helping peachgreen because she was going through something similar and we did help her and it was amazing to see how well she did with that help. She was a woman transformed! I didn't ask because I thought people would be snide and judge me. We all have to start somewhere.

I don't think any of us are doubting that puppy blues exists @brushingboots , which is why I specifically mentioned peachgreen, who was subsequently offering support to others on puppy group, just as @VanGoSunflowers does now.

@brushingboots I am sorry you struggled so much with Pupsy at the start and I’m so glad your bond has grown to what it is now ❤️

We each have very different experiences, I am in no doubt whatsoever that the reason I didn’t struggle as
much as others when I first got Pablo was down to sheer luck and getting such a placid puppy and had nothing to do at all with some innate resilience or strength of character (which I don’t think I possess 😂) I remember feeling quite guilty about getting an easy pup and not wanting to offer too much advice to people because what do I know? One pretty easy going pup who I have had for just a few months does not an expert make 😂
Not to mention the wonderful support I received from you, as well as from everyone else on here. I cannot emphasise enough how much of a difference that made.

I felt a similar way to you after I had my son, so I do totally sympathise ❤️ for me it was the loss of freedom more than lack of control with DS. I felt much better with Pablo once I could start leaving him alone for short periods to go and have a breather and was also fortunate enough to have willing puppy sitters so I could get a break too.

I don’t really know what I am trying to say, I am a waffler and always worry that I’m not eloquent enough to get my point across 😂

Well quite and I also doubt the validity - if only because I think anyone who was having heart palpitations would be in A&E (I certainly bloody would I'd be telling anyone who bought a puppy off me who experienced similar to do the same) not posting on MN about puppy blues.

Puppy blues are a thing - but if it is so bad you are have heart palpitations, then that is serious and I do question whether someone in those circumstances is fit for dog ownership, given we all know how much worse it's going to get in 5-7 months.

Heart palpitations are never normal and someone experiencing them should be in A&E, not posting on mumsnet about puppy blues. But clearly I am very much alone in thinking that.

@VanGoSunflowers you are plenty eloquent enough!

It didn't occur to me that I'd have an issue because I'm pretty hard haha (in the least gangster and most 'was chased around the yard with a lunge whip' kind of way) which just proves, in case it was in any doubt, that mental health is a mystery.

I read so many things on here and elsewhere telling me that I'd be a horrific dog mother if I, say, left her for a second and in the end weighed up that leaving her to whinge briefly was better for her than me being forced to be with her constantly hating her. And I always say that kind of thing here because I needed to read reassurance from someone that I wasn't going to kill my puppy if I did X, Y, Z.

@TheHungryHungryLandsharks I have suffered heart palpitations before, they can often be caused by stress and adrenaline kicking around your body when you’re in fight or flight mode has some whacky effects on your body. I remember the first panic attack I ever had when I was about 19, I couldn’t breathe and my heart was pounding in my chest so much I called an ambulance! I was fine, just needed to calm down 😂

Agree that they can be a sign of something more sinister though and should always be checked out.

I went down a mad rabbit hole last year of getting private blood tests done, checking all my vitamin/mineral levels and taking supplements to get everything up to ‘optimum’ levels (rather than just above NHS thresholds which are very low) and it completely transformed how my body reacts to stress - low iron and B12 in particular can have an effect on heart rhythm. I felt like a new woman after doing all that!

Sorry I am going off on a tangent again 😂 but I have always found the physiology of stress and anxiety absolutely fascinating and torturous in equal measure

I get palpitations a lot @TheHungryHungryLandsharks . I sometimes get it when I'm walking Brie on my own. My official diagnosis is Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I also have Social Anxiety. If you've never had palpitations through stress, you're very lucky. With me it's a daily occurrence. Maybe I'm not fit for dog ownership. But with me it centres around people and "what ifs", rather than anything the puppy does. If that makes any sense...

It's bad enough to prevent me from working, but not bad enough to entitle me to PIP etc.

And it seems that poster is genuine and suffering some sort of extreme stress reaction. So my post above is probably unfair 😔

I read that thread last night, but didn't comment. I assumed with the timing of posting and the reference to potty training, that it was an American.
I've said it before - I absolutely loathed P at times as a puppy. She didn't sleep through the night for months and was up way too early for me, so I was sleep deprived. Then she'd spend two hours every morning attacking me like a Tasmanian devil. I was covered in cuts and my clothes were ripped. I spent many a morning sitting on the kitchen side, crying and telling her how much I hated her.
Fortunately she had some calm moments to make up for it. But she was bloody hard work. And she was my fourth dog! Perhaps if she'd been my first, we wouldn't have made it through. She grew into a lovely adult dog though.
By contrast, K was an easy puppy, but is a little minx. 😂 (I mean that in a Minnie the Minx way, not in the definition supplied by Google.)

Clearly I am being very unfair then and a dick - nothing new there!

But I still think anyone who is suffering from heart palpitations should go to A&E, as it is something a doctor should look at if only to rule out anything serious (as you have done @CoubousAndTourmaIet @VanGoSunflowers).