Looking for some positivity

[Scrumdidlyumptious]

Hi,

We're looking at getting a dog, we dont really want to go to a breeder for a puppy and would prefer to adopt a rescue dog. All the big rescues RSPCA, dogs trust etc etc have very strict criteria (rightly so) but it often rules us out due to having a preschooler. We have the opportunity to adopt a Romanian rescue dog who is already in the country and has been in foster for 3 weeks. We have met this dog with the children and all went well, the dog was calm, approached us for fuss and attention, lay down whilst the kids pet him and didn't seems phased at all with anything.

Apparently this dog did have a home in Romania, but was turfed onto the streets when his owner died.

We have heard a lot of negative things about Romanian dogs though and there's something niggling at me. All the paperwork seems to be there and I have seen it, all health stuff up to date, imms, worming, brucella etc etc. and as I said the meeting went well.

So why do I have this niggling feeling not to go for it? I'm at the point where I don't know if I've researched too much and only found negative experiences and that is now clouding my view.

Can anyone share any positive experiences of adopting Romanian dogs to help balance my view a bit? Or is negativity all there is?

Whilst I completely recognise your desire to get a dog - and I know you want really positive comments and stories - there is a very good reason why rescues will not let you adopt with a child as young as your child is.

Any rescue, or breeder, who sells or gives a dog to a family with a child that young is so grossly irresponsible I cannot even begin to describe. Your gut is telling you there is something wrong because you know this is a huge risk.

Separately, I find it a bit uncomfortable that one meeting (assuming it is one, which your OP implies) would be enough for the rescue to be supportive of you taking a dog? The one I volunteer at (breed specific) requests a minimum of three-four meetings including one external walk, in a new environment, with the whole family.

Wait until your kid is a bit older, please.

We and a number of friends have adopted from Cyprus using Stronger Together Animal Rescue (STAR) and Saving Souls.

We didn't want to support the exploitation of dogs for money (by buying a puppy) and every UK charity was a NO (kids/cat).

Honestly, we can't recommend STAR enough. The whole process is supportive and professional from first interest to after-adoption support.

People are quick to throw out opinions based on 'what they've heard'. Truth is, any dog can become reactive at any time.

Save a life 💞. Good luck.

What absolute nonsense. Well-balanced, well-raised, happy and socialised dogs do not just become reactive at any time.

I note from STAR's facebook page that their UK Based team have done multiple trips to Cyprus this year - great use of donation money isn't it? Given they have a team on the ground one wonders why the people in the UK need to visit Cyprus. It's almost like the team wanted a holiday...or two...or three.😀

There is a valid reason why breeders and charities do not give dogs to people with young children - it's stupid and irresponsible. Young children and dogs do not mix.And young children and dogs with traumatic background do not mix even more.

I'd bet my house that one of your STAR dogs snaps at a child before a well-bred, well-loved, dog without a traumatic background does.

Edit: Having done further digging, I see they also go by several other names - some of which operate in Romania (Freedom Angels) and have, a rather less than stellar reputation - weren't they included on a BBC Documentary about animal exploitation and abuse?

I think you're more snappy than our dog. You sound like a lovely, kind, gentle, nurturing dog breeder. Cheerio.

My experiences as a trainer have been negative. 3 weeks is nothing - the dog will still be shut down. Even in experienced hands most imported dogs struggle for a variety of reasons, breed, early experiences, transport, lack of medical care etc. I have also seen first hand dogs bred by puppy farmers in Eastern Europe dressed up as rescues.

Puppies are hard work for about 18 months but a much safer option if you have young children.

I guess I touched a nerve about the use of funding (do you recon I could join them on their trips to Cyprus?) and that documentary...oops.

Me being a breeder has nothing to do with this though as I wouldn't sell OP a dog if she approached me. Me being an animal lover, and not wanting a child to potential to be mauled...that has everything to do with this.

We have a difficult rescue who was amazing to start with. Dealing with those issues would have been really tricky if there was a young child in the mix.

Trust your instincts and think again

Ok, so far seems to be just adding to the negativity, which of course I am taking on board too.

Just a quick point I should have probably said in my first post, yes my child is a pre-schooler on paper, but she isn't a young toddler or baby. She's over 4yrs old, was supposed to start school this year but we held her back as she is summer born.

I don't know if that changes anyone's opinion, but thought I'd clarify

No, you didn't touch a nerve based on the points you made. Your tone and is patronising, condescending and unpleasant.

Yes, absolutely take a nice long holiday to Cyprus. I'm sure you can spare the charity some costs and pay for yourself with all the money you make exploiting your 'beloved pets'.

You are looking for positivity, I know, but as a long time LGD person (that is Livestock Guarding Dog) you need to be aware that a lot of these Romanian "rescue" dogs (even the smaller ones) have some guard dog in their DNA. This makes it risky homing where there are young children. The dog can initially seem calm on its new territory, but sooner or later the guarding instincts will come out and you can find yourself with a dog that will not welcome visitors into your home.
I also use the term "rescue" in inverted commas, because there is evidence that some (and I stress not all) of these alleged rescues are puppy farm dogs being bred to meet the demand.

I realise I'll come in for abuse here as @LandSharksAnonymous has, but you need to go into this with your eyes wide open. Really, with young children, a rescue is never the best option unless you are 100% certain of the breeding behind it (such as with a purebred from a breed specific rescue). It may feel altruistic taking on a rescue or a "homeless" dog, but with young children it is an enormous risk. More so with a dog from overseas that can have street dogs and working protection dogs in its DNA. I can genuinely say that I personally, with a background in giant guarding breeds, would not be willing to risk it unless I had enough land that the dog could be kennelled if need be.

There is a lot of reverse snobbery on mumsnet with regard to pedigree v rescue but in all honesty, the safest dog with a young child is always going to be a purebred puppy from a reputable breeder. With a 4 year old, even that is not without risk, but it is far safer than a traumatised import of dubious parentage and unknown background.

We’ve adopted 10 dogs so far from abroad. We tend to take the older, more difficult to home ones, so we don’t always have them that long (shortest was 18 months 😩) We have them along side our other UK rescues. For what it’s worth, none of my 10 have been any trouble, certainly no more traumatised than my UK rescues. In our experience of almost 40 rescue dogs so far, the most damaged and difficult to “bring round” have been ex breeders, all from KC registered breeders in the UK. Make of that what you will but it’s the reason I will never, ever buy from a breeder.
That said, all of mine have ended up as lovely family dogs, safe with children (as safe as any dog can be and of course never left unsupervised) some just took longer than others.

@Scrumdidlyumptious it doesn’t change my opinion, sorry. I spend too much time trying to find foster homes and permanent homes for dogs who have attacked or snapped at a young child in the family home. And these are dogs that have been loved and never been abused (tormented by the child, yes, and never properly cared for, but not abused). They’ve never been forced to sleep in a cell, starved, transported in cages halfway across Europe. Rescue dogs (and those in foster placements) are notorious for ‘shutting down’ as PP said.

And three weeks with a foster is nothing…it’s really not enough to judge if a dog is okay or not. We had a dog come in recently and she’s going to spend 6 months minimum in foster so we can ensure when we do put her up for adoption we know as much about her as possible.

@AdoptDontShop2025 ah. You must be one of those people who follows me from thread to thread and hates on me simply for breeding healthy, happy, dogs. Has it ever occurred to you that with more breeders like me in the world that there would be no need for people like you who rescue traumatised animals? Or would you prefer to cast all breeders as scum as it fits with your narrow mined and rather bigoted world view? 😊

Our neighbours had a rescue dog from Romania. They had it a year and then it suddenly attacked their child and left him with life changing injuries.

A good parent would never take such a risk with children in the household.

We adopted from Romania. She came to us via a UK based GSD specific charity. She's not pure GSD, but looks similar.

She is the cuddliest, most adorable girl going. We definitely struck lucky with her.

I'm glad we have her, but I wouldn't go down this route again as the conditions they are brought over in can be brutal. She had sores down all her legs which we think were urine burns. Most of her tail fur fell out, and her coat was thick with god knows what in addition to millions of little friends - not fleas but some sort of mite.

Nature wise, she was eager to please and clingy which was how she dealt with trauma. She appeared to be unfazed by anything which I now know was all a front. Sudden noises scare her - and, weirdly, cardboard boxes! Even 5 years later she can panic over a sudden noise. She has remained loving, but now it's a true emotion and not a cover. We have never been able to teach her to recall.

The dog you met is not being their true self, this will come with time, our girl didn't really relax for a couple of months, we also had a dog for her to learn from. Personally I wouldn't trust a rescue from abroad with a child that was unable to defend itself.

Ahhh, there you go again.

You don't come across as condescending and rude. Your post reads as someone who is able to present their view in a balanced and knowledgeable way.

FTR (and I admit I didn't fully read the OP), I wouldn't have taken on an older rescue with young children. I agree the unknown risk is too great for all parties.

So much depends on the background of the dog and how the child behaves around the dog. When I was a toddler, my parents acquired a former street dog - but he'd been in a good home since late puppyhood, and was only being given up because his owner (who had, quite literally, picked him up from the street) was moving countries and couldn't take him. It had been dinned into me all my life to treat dogs with respect, and that dog and I had a wonderful relationship.

A stray from Romania is another matter.

Hmmm, in many ways literally any dog could potentially be a risk to a young child, you can never totally tell. Both my brother, and my best friend coincidentally have Romanian rescues. Both dogs have needed training, just as any other dog would. Both are now great with people. Whether i’d trust either of them with a young child… honestly, I don’t know, but as I said, I’m not sure I’d trust any dog with a young child. However much comes down to training - of both the dog and the child, in terms of how you handle, and treat a dog - a living thing, not a toy. (i have 4 rescues myself - all from Spain).

Not a chance would I risk this. Three weeks isn’t time enough to decompress and for the dog to show its real self. You can’t know if that’s really how it ended up as a stray. Some smaller uk rescues may consider you. I would personally wait a couple of years.

In our experience of almost 40 rescue dogs so far, the most damaged and difficult to “bring round” have been ex breeders, all from KC registered breeders in the UK. Make of that what you will but it’s the reason I will never, ever buy from a breeder.

Presumably these dogs have been from puppy farms rather than reputable breeders, as reputable breeders will have kept their own.

I wrote this post to show my husband.

He has been wanting a dog for years and although I am now on board with him, I have said only if we can find the right dog for us with the right circumstances at the right time etc etc. the niggle I have is that my child is still too young and you have all confirmed this for me.

I also couldn't bring myself to trust a Romanian rescue despite how hard I have tried, this post was a last resort to try and find something positive, but as I expected it has failed to do that.

Thank you all for the input, I will be showing my husband the replies I have had and we will not be proceeding

Dogs are often calm in shelters because they are still numbed by their experiences on the street and in the shelter with the scent of other dogs all around them.

Steer clear of Romanian rescue dogs if you have a small child as many have behavioural and emotional issues that only come to light after they are settled in their new home.

Totally agree with this.
The issue with any reduce dog is often the true personality doesn't come out until they are home and settled into their own territory.
Regarding your daughter at 4 years old, even though she'll be old enough to know better than pull the dogs tail or climb in it's bed, I assume she still runs around a lot and makes loud noises, friends over etc Things that can be very triggering for a dog

You would think so, wouldn’t you? But no actually, that is NOT the case. Very reputable breeders, one was actually a judge at Crufts for the breed. Very highly rated but the dog we took from her had been crated for months and was utterly traumatised. Don’t try to claim it doesn’t happen, because these dogs have lived in my house, with me, many, many times. I see them wet themselves in fear, i see them hide in “their safe space” for weeks or months, I have to teach them what a walk is, I have to show them literally everything about being a dog. THAT is the reality.
Puppies are bought from these breeders for thousands…..and people buy them from what they think they are “good” breeders. They aren’t.

You're missing the point that good breeders don't re-home their ex-breeding bitches. So those dogs didn't come from good breeders. So @bluegreygreen was right, you got them from puppy farmers - because what you're describing is puppy farm behaviour, not reputable breeder behaviour. Just because someone has a KC membership and judges at crufts, it doesn't mean they're a good person or a good breeder 😊