Elderly dog cognitive decline

[Doidontimmm]

Please help. I’m struggling so much.

My 13.5 year old rescue who we have had for 11 years has osteoarthritis which has been managed for years with onisor and gabapentin. It got worse last couple of years so upped dosage & added paracetamol.

She now rarely goes for a walk. We have a big garden but she only really goes out to toilet. We do offer & try often. She also has little interest in toys.

Saying all that she was cuddly, ran to greet you, interacted with you.

Then we think in the last couple of months she went deaf.

Last couple of weeks she started struggling going up & downstairs but still insisted on wanting to sleep upstairs.

Last week she became withdrawn. She started on/off crying & barking (she very very rarely barked her whole life). She appeared disoriented. She was passing a lot of wind. Her tummy looked swollen.We booked a vet appointment for Wednesday. Monday she cried for 2 hours so got emergency appointment. They did a full scan & bloods. Nothing…

They kept mentioning quality of life.

They gave her a pill to relax and a ketamine shot. We are trying venotin next week.

She is still disoriented, sleeping around 22 hours. She is crying & barking when awake but will stop if we stroke or look at her.

It’s been incredibly stressful working from home on teams calls.

She is still eating, toilets fine and has moments of cuddles. She greeted me this morning with a waggy tail and head into me cuddle for ages.

I honestly don’t know if it’s time.

To complicate matters I still part share her with my now adult DC dad. She goes once a fortnight and he will dog sit at times and for holidays. They (he & new partner) don’t think it’s time but they are on hols and haven’t dealt with this and partner doesn’t work so doesn’t have the stress of that.

I just can’t let her go whilst I still get that odd cuddle & saggy tail. Or is that selfish?

It’s time.
The vet has said it’s time.
Your ex will have to accept the vet has said it’s time.

If you can wait until he’s back so he can say goodbye, that would be kind, however the priority is your darling dog.

She’ll always want to wash her tail and love her cuddles with you- imagine how sad and in pain she’d have to be for that to stop?! You don’t want that.

The best thing about being a dog is knowing your owner has your back, that they won’t let you suffer and will cuddle you off to sleep in comfort. It’s hard, of course. I’m weeping at the memory of it. But it’s what I’ll need to do for my elderly boy in the next year or two, and it’s what I did for my first dog.

Hugs.

I am sorry, but it is time. You just have to make the best decision you can for her no matter how painful it is for you. It is so bloody tough.

It

I'm so sorry OP but it does really sound as though it's time.

It is much easier afterwards to look back and know you did the right thing by your dear dog than wonder if you kept her a day too long when she'd already had enough.

DH and I had a pact when our darling dog became very elderly. If one of us was away from home and the time came the person with our girl would make the decision and the other would stand by it 100%. Perhaps not a good idea and maybe hard for you, but could you video your girl so that your partner can understand exactly how things have been?

I really understand how hard this is.

We had the same pack. When the vet started talking about quality of life and offered further treatment, which we declined (what is the point with a 15 years old truly terrified of the vet), we knew we had days. My husband was away and it had to be done when he was gone. I did it on my own with his blessing. It was very very hard but part of me was glad to have spared him the guilt. At the end of the day you need to do what is right for the dog and no one else.

I asked a second vet’s opinion and it was the same. In the end I relied on the vet but I knew it was the end. Maybe we did it too early, maybe not. But I could control where and when it was done. And how.

a word of advice, particularly if you do it at home, they don’t automatically put them to sleep first. I am glad I read this advice somewhere I think on this forum and asked them to bring thé drugs to make her fall asleep first. It was a quick jab in the bottom. The catheter to do the deed is big and it would have been hard to go straight into it. I also drove her myself to the crematorium. I have a great one just outside London should anyone need one. Down the A3. They were very kind and had a chapel. They cremated her straight away. I felt I took it to the very end for her and it brought me comfort.

good luck, be brave and look after yourself. It is the price we pay

xx

Thanks all. I know I need to let go. It’s so hard.

I don’t have that pact with my ex. His partner is very contrary, thinks she is a vet. At the end of the day though she is in my care 90% of the time.

They love her though so can wait a week till they are back. By the the new drug will have at least had the chance to work or not.

Im heartbroken already.

If they love her they should put the dog's needs first and not expect her to suffer longer waiting for their return.

My old dog had what I could only describe as dementia, was also deaf and arthritic. He would beg to go out in the garden, sit out there for twenty minutes then come back in and pee on the floor. Sometimes he went the wrong side of a door and would get stuck in the corner behind it. Slept all day and if he woke up in the night would wander around crying. One night I got woken up by my puppy barking and the old boy had got completely wedged under some furniture - after rescuing him, I held him and cried my eyes out.

He wasn't happy - he had been happy pottering about up until almost the end, but by that stage he wasn't. I thought, I wish he could just slip away in his sleep - and then I realised that I could do that for him. It was so hard, but once I'd made that decision it was so obviously the right thing to do.

Sending you a hug and a cuddle for your dog x

And what will you do if you wait for them to come back, and in their infinite wisdom they decide that it isn’t time? Also, is it possible you’re doing this (waiting for them to return) in order to delay the inevitable? In general, when people ask “is is time yet?”, it’s because they know it is but want permission (I did it myself). Far, far better to trust your instincts and arrange a peaceful home visit now than risk having to make an unplanned emergency dash to a vet’s with a suffering dog in the near future. I’m so sorry you’re facing this.

I would probably wait for them to come back to say goodbye but make it quite clear that the decision has been made and you are doing what is best for your dog - not them. Take a day off work and have a lovely last day with your dog.

I heard a vet on the radio a while ago talking about the right time and he said "the right time is nearly always earlier that it is done. Dogs have no existential fear of death but they do feel pain"

I feel for you. My old fellow is 15. He can't go up and down the stairs anymore but he is small enough to carry. He sleeps a lot. He enjoys life though. If any of that changed then we'd have to make the right decision.

I think I have to wait for them, or at least try to. She isn’t getting worse. If it was me I’d want them to wait to say goodbye.

If they disagree then they have to have her during the working week as it’s so hard working, thankfully have my adult daughter & parents to help this week. I would also overrule them as she is registered to me.

I agree you should wait. They have a right to say good bye. Good luck with it all

Im so sorry. Thats the right thing to do

I agree it's time. My old lurcher girl aged 14 had had dementia for almost a year, gradually worsening so that there was little enjoyment in her life, although she did enjoy some walks. She then developed kidney impairment and lost her appetite. It was a nightmare trying to get her to eat.

She was PTS last week, on her blanket in the sun. I miss her terribly but it was the right thing to do, for all of us.

My dad used to give his dog a mix of turmeric and glucosamine for his arthritis and it helped a huge amount with mobility - he’s a vet who likes using natural remedies alongside drugs. It helped him get a lot more mobile and slowed the decline but he did end up having to put him down eventually. If he is sleeping 22hours a day and not going out he is likely in a lot of pain, dogs are just very good at masking it and obviously can’t tell us.

Dementia in dogs can be a bit dangerous, my aunt’s lab who was lovely ended up biting someone as it was confused and scared.

A vet who treated my terminally ill cat told me that he decides when it’s time with his own animals if they are having more bad days than good. It sounds like you are there. Talk to your ex and say it is happening on advice from the vet and ask if he would like to be there.

Please be ready to move quickly if necessary. We had planned our dog’s last days, with specific things in mind. In the event we brought it forward a week as he dipped.

She didn’t start crying until nearly 2pm today, we tried dividing her food into 3 so she had lunch too.

Otherwise she has mostly slept. Got her a chew and she enjoyed but is now panting with exhaustion.

Had a lovely greeting when I got home as was in office today which makes it so hard.

Saying goodbye to her tomorrow

Have things got worse? I’m sorry.

I'm so sorry OP. I know you won't have made the decision lightly.

I had to say goodbye to my old girl last week so sending love. I'll miss her more than words can say. She was outside in the sun on her favourite blanket.

I'm sorry, it's so hard. We just had to say goodbye to our 14 year old dog a couple of weeks back, pretty much everything you described and then she started to wee all over the house as well. It's so sad having to make that call though. We are going to bury her ashes in her favorite sunny spot in the garden and plant a nice tree there.

So sorry OP 💐xx

Just sending love and solidarity ❤️. We had exactly this! Our little boy Leo, suddenly crying barking at night, staring at nothing. In the day eating, going for walks,no arthritis,he did have cataracts and for several years followed other people when off lead boy could he move,we thought he was following other people because he couldn't see us!He was a phalene, a toy breed. Turned out,he had CCD. Vet, we've been going to for over 25 years, said eating, enjoying walks wasn't a guarantee of a good or happy life. He was almost 18. We had another dog, border collie she's 10,9 months later we got a puppy, another border collie, she's 2.

Really sorry, OP. You're doing the right thing xx

Have been thinking of you @Doidontimmm
It's the final kindness for your lovely dog xxx

Thank you. She passed very peacefully.