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Need your HELP with choosing the right breed!!!

82 replies

YourRubyHiker · 24/09/2025 09:17

Hi all,

I really really need someone else’s input here as I feel like I’m going in circles.
my husband finally agreed on getting a dog for our family (two kids, 8&3). He was adamant that he liked cocker spaniels. We researched the breed and talked to the owners of the ones we knew. Ended up putting a £100 deposit on a puppy (mum’s parents working cockers and dad is a show cocker). Now the more I learn about gundogs the more I get worried that we won’t be able to provide our puppy with adequate training. They seem such hard work, everyone says to do scent work, super long walks (no problem, I can walk it 2h a day) and they are like boys with ADHD (as in don’t listen, recall is hard work, adult distracted and pull on the lead).

I really wanted a Cavapoo (health tested parents of course!). Small-ish, cuddly, easy to train and generally a calm teddy bear for my kids to snuggle with.

Proper getting cold feet now. It’s not too late change it, the spaniel puppy will find a home no problem - his sisters were taken the same day the ad was published.

I’m planning on taking our dog to puppy classes. I’m planning on crate training (initially at least - mainly to provide a safe space away from kids). We can walk our dog 2x day for 40min/ hour and we have a big garden. My kids would love playing with it and I can do 15/20 min training every day.

Has anyone got experience with either breed? Any advice?

OP posts:
GoodBones85 · 24/09/2025 21:59

@YourRubyHiker i’ll share my recent experience if it’s helpful.

We got our first family dog, a cockapoo puppy, in April this year. He’s been with us 5 months and is now 7 months old.

  1. Dont get a crossbreed like we did. Puppy farms are rife and incredibly good at disguising themselves as reputable breeders if you are new to dog ownership like we were. They know how to prey on naivety and we are lucky we haven’t had any major problems with pup because in hindsight, they were only interested in the profit not the wellbeing of the dogs or safety of my family and we could have been getting anything.
  1. Please consider if now is the right time if you have a three year old. My DS was 5 and a half when puppy arrived and we thought we had waited until he was old enough. We were wrong. It is constant hard work not only managing both of their needs but also managing their interactions safely and ensuring they both have their needs/boundaries respected. DS is now 6 and pup is doing well with training so it’s getting better but my god it has nearly broken me at times.

If I had my time again I’d get a poodle and wait until my son was 7.

YourRubyHiker · 25/09/2025 08:49

GoodBones85 · 24/09/2025 21:59

@YourRubyHiker i’ll share my recent experience if it’s helpful.

We got our first family dog, a cockapoo puppy, in April this year. He’s been with us 5 months and is now 7 months old.

  1. Dont get a crossbreed like we did. Puppy farms are rife and incredibly good at disguising themselves as reputable breeders if you are new to dog ownership like we were. They know how to prey on naivety and we are lucky we haven’t had any major problems with pup because in hindsight, they were only interested in the profit not the wellbeing of the dogs or safety of my family and we could have been getting anything.
  1. Please consider if now is the right time if you have a three year old. My DS was 5 and a half when puppy arrived and we thought we had waited until he was old enough. We were wrong. It is constant hard work not only managing both of their needs but also managing their interactions safely and ensuring they both have their needs/boundaries respected. DS is now 6 and pup is doing well with training so it’s getting better but my god it has nearly broken me at times.

If I had my time again I’d get a poodle and wait until my son was 7.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience
and congratulations on your recent addition!

I have been really naive in terms of getting a puppy. Now that I know a lot more about how to find a good breeder actually a lot of things make sense. I didn’t realise for example that even if the ad says KC registered its best to cross check registration and/or breeding licence. There so many con artists on Pets4Homes!

Yes, I believe getting a puppy is like getting another child 🙈 completely crazy and overwhelming. We pulled out of getting a spaniel last night and seriously leaning towards a poodle. I guess the only thing that bothers me is that they might be a bit barky and prone to anxiety. So even if it means that we have to wait for a year for the right dog, that’s what we’re going to do.

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 25/09/2025 09:07

@YourRubyHiker I think @GoodBones85 has made some excellent points. her boy is absolutely lovely (I've seen the photos) and clearly an excellent addition to the family. But, the breed is not without challenges and for a first time owner - particularly with young children - they can be difficult and finding a good breeder is incredibly harder (as she has made clear)!

The beauty of a poodle is that it's so much easier to find a good breeder who can really make sure you are suited to their dog.

I always say this (and I think people are probably about ready to virtually slap me at times), but not all breeders are equal just like not all dogs are equal. There are good and bad breeders for every breed, every mongrel, every designer doodle. The difference between 'mongrels' or 'designer doodle' breeders and pedigree breeder is it is a lot easier to spot in a pedigree breeder - you only have one 'set' of health tests to look for (because the parents will be the same breed so affected by the same issue) - you can more easily find them (breed club, Champ Dogs, Kennel Club) and can avoid places like Pets4Homes etc.

Remember, it's not just about finding the right dog for you...it's about making sure you are the right owner for that breed and, eventually, that litter. Every breeder or every breed looks for something very different when they breed.

When I breed, I want high-energy dogs that are built to be strong (although I also breed for temperament and with breed 'standard in mind, of course). Therefore, my dogs tend to be larger (35-40kg) than breed standard and more like a 'working' Golden in terms of energy and drive than they are 'show'. But I know breeders who prefer the 'smaller' look of Goldens and prefer less energetic ones (although they still need c. 2 hours a day). And that's okay. It just means that my dogs aren't suited to everyone, just as my breeder friends dogs aren't suited to everyone.

Good luck!

YourRubyHiker · 25/09/2025 09:28

@LandSharksAnonymous thanks for explaining! Please would you also be able to share questions to ask the breeder? Will they always ask more about our situation to recommend a specific puppy?

OP posts:
LandSharksAnonymous · 25/09/2025 10:24

@YourRubyHiker Of course, always happy to answer questions.

So, the rule of thumb is that a good breeder will ask you as many questions as you have for them.

In general they will want to know, (A) Why you have chosen that breed, (B) What sort of life you can provide (exercise, companionship, stimulation etc, (C) Who is in your home (children, babies, adults, other pets, (D) Any dog experience you have (this does not always mean ownership, but can mean friends/family having dogs, or growing up with dogs - if you have a child they will probably want to know what your child is like around dogs, (E) Some many ask if you plan to castrate or not.

When you speak to them, you should ask (A) If the parents are both fully health tested (not all breeds do require health testing - so do your research beforehand, Champ Dogs and KC are good for this and be mindful of what scores are considered 'good' and what scores are a risk for a future puppy), (B) If you can see copies of the parents health tests if you visit the puppies, (C) how many breeding bitches they have (I always say this, but breeding a litter well is exhausting - I sleep by the whelping box for 8 weeks, and I practically throw the puppies at their new families on week 8 because I am so tired - so anyone breeding more than once a year, or once every few years just simply cannot be doing it properly, (D) Why they chose the stud they did (was it his health scores, or was it because he was handsome - ideally you want someone who chose based on temperament and health), (E) How many litters mum will have (no more than two - this is because bitches should not be bred from before they are 2 but ideally 2.5, and no older than 5. 5 is okay, but 6 is not) So, if they don't breed the mum until she is 2, and then have three litters...that's basically a litter a year, which is not good for the dog.

If you're happy with the answers to your questions, and they're happy with your answers, you should meet the litter. Around 6 weeks is usual for a first meeting. Use this as an opportunity to look at how the breeder interacts with the puppies - if they get boisterous or one is clearly unhappy, does she separate them? What about mum? Does mum watch them and give them attention? Don't be alarmed if mum tells them off - it looks vicious, but it very rarely is. A good mum and breeder will install boundaries in the puppies. A good breeder will also makes sure the whelping pen is clean at all time - constantly wiping up any wee or poo. By six weeks, Mum should be attentive but not overbearing - she may jump in and out of the whelping pen. Mum (and any other adult dogs) should want to meet you. She should be friendly and welcoming - not cautious. Likewise, puppies should all scramble for attention and not be scared. Some might not come over because they'll be eating, or sleeping, or playing with each other - that's fine, just as long as they don't seem to be scared or timid.

Check what sort of socialisation the breeder has done (hoovers, people, household objects etc).

Really, it all sounds a bit like common sense but when people view puppies for the first time all common sense leaves the building - and it's understandable as they are adorable!

Some breeders (like me) match puppies to a family based on what they think is best. Remember, a good breeder will likely have spent 24/7 with the puppies for six weeks...they should know the puppies like the back of their hand. You will spend, perhaps, six hours with a puppy before you take it home - possibly even 2/3 hours before you pick one. Seek the breeders opinion.

Most of all, don't be afraid to walk away. People always struggle with this bit - because they've seen the puppies and they want one - but if anything feels off, or even if you just think that litter isn't right for you, then walk away.

GoodBones85 · 25/09/2025 10:37

@LandSharksAnonymous i needed you back in March!!!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Really, it all sounds a bit like common sense but when people view puppies for the first time all common sense leaves the building - and it's understandable as they are adorable!

This. This is what happened to me.

elm26 · 25/09/2025 10:38

Ours is a Sprocker, dad is a springer and mum a cocker. He’s 10 now and still likes a long walk but up until he was about 7, he’d need 2-3 hours of walks and more mental stimulation at home every day otherwise he’d still be running around the house at 10pm. His parents are working gun dogs. He was easy to train in regards to toilet and recall and is a beautiful dog, he’s loving, gentle, hilarious and such a good boy but the hours of training my husband and I put in was enough to put us off getting a dog until our kids are older now.

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