Need your HELP with choosing the right breed!!!

[YourRubyHiker]

Hi all,

I really really need someone else’s input here as I feel like I’m going in circles.
my husband finally agreed on getting a dog for our family (two kids, 8&3). He was adamant that he liked cocker spaniels. We researched the breed and talked to the owners of the ones we knew. Ended up putting a £100 deposit on a puppy (mum’s parents working cockers and dad is a show cocker). Now the more I learn about gundogs the more I get worried that we won’t be able to provide our puppy with adequate training. They seem such hard work, everyone says to do scent work, super long walks (no problem, I can walk it 2h a day) and they are like boys with ADHD (as in don’t listen, recall is hard work, adult distracted and pull on the lead).

I really wanted a Cavapoo (health tested parents of course!). Small-ish, cuddly, easy to train and generally a calm teddy bear for my kids to snuggle with.

Proper getting cold feet now. It’s not too late change it, the spaniel puppy will find a home no problem - his sisters were taken the same day the ad was published.

I’m planning on taking our dog to puppy classes. I’m planning on crate training (initially at least - mainly to provide a safe space away from kids). We can walk our dog 2x day for 40min/ hour and we have a big garden. My kids would love playing with it and I can do 15/20 min training every day.

Has anyone got experience with either breed? Any advice?

That’s such bad advice though - nobody should be picking up any breed of dog and making it cuddle - that’s a recipe for a bite no matter what the breed.

Are you ready to introduce a toddler into your house, who needs supervision, care, looking after etc? Your post seems to assume the pup will fit into your lifestyle, but you have to fit around theirs.

Working ‘any breed’ are more demanding than the show varieties. We have a lab. You see pictures of them snuggling up to people, sitting on laps etc. ours didn’t get the memo.

It is not an advice! What made you think that? I am saying that children can do it and you can’t always be watching. Please read the post to the end.

If you can’t always supervise your child then you separate them from your dog, and if you can’t do that then you shouldn’t have a dog.

No breed of dog should have to tolerate being pulled about and manhandled by children - saying XYZ breed will tolerate it just gives people unrealistic expectations and is hugely unfair on the potential dog.

FWIW there was a thread on here a year or two ago from someone with a Maltese who kept snapping at her owner because she was constantly being picked up and fussed when she clearly didn’t like it.

We were considering a cocker spaniel, Cockapoo or cavapoo, but have settled on a miniature poodle puppy from fully health tested parents, a great breeder and great breeding. We’ll probably go with a more doodle haircut, as not really into the traditional poodle look! I’ve been following Rufus the poodle on TikTok and hoping ours turns out as lovely as him!

I have to say, if my DDs had picked up any of my dogs as puppies without the dog making it clear that's what they wanted I would have gone absolutely ballistic.

Just because you do not know a cavalier that has not bitten, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. People always say Goldie's don't bite. I help rehome at least 1-2 a month, just in my region, who have attacked or bitten children - almost always because the child overstepped the dogs boundaries.

I really think your youngest is too young. My youngest was 8 and his brother 10 and I hadn't anticipated how hard work a puppy is. As much as they loved him, they didn't get the biting, the chasing, the destruction of toys, football boots anything basically. My youngest actively disliked the dog for a fair bit. I don't think it's a breed issue, I am of the opinion that most dogs with the right attention and dedicated training can of course become a cuddly family dog but it takes time. Our terrier became that when he was about 3-4.

I have 2 massive rottie/labs and one needs loads of time attention training the other is a couch potato and just wants to sleep all day and even getting him out for walks is a chore! Yet the one that needs loads of attention loves cuddles but the couch potato doesn’t so what I’m saying every dog is different. I know spaniels need lots of training and exercise tho.. mine are great with children but any dog is hard work.

If you can't always be supervising interactions between children and dogs, then they should be separated.

And a quick Google search of cavaliers biting took me straight to a post by a woman asking for help as her cavalier had bitten her daughter's face when she went to kiss him on the nose.

All dog breeds can bite. Honestly. Making sweeping statements about breeds is not helpful to anyone.

In an ideal world yes but it is not always possible. There is a grey zone in between where you can have young children and dogs. If you skip a bit (turn around to cook, go the loo...), the child goes for a cuddle, odds are that with the toy breeds I have experienced and brought up with children you will be safer than a cocker (only working breed I know). Laying down with the dog or stroking for a cuddle is not manhandling like pulling ears or sitting on the dog to play pony, there is a difference. Yes ideally they should always be under supervision but this is impossible.

Within the breed, it also depends on the dog's own character. Our latest cavalier is a tart and lives on laps, anyone's lap. If she comes on your bed, she wants the pillow and be right by your face. Her happy place is a cuddle. I am sure not all are like that but breeds bred to be laps dogs are in my opinion safer around children because mistakes will happen. Nothing is entirely safe though, of course. But 12 cavaliers later and several children, no issues.

Of course but that implies you saw it happen. My point is that children will go in for a cuddle and you might not be there. I cant speak for any other breed than the ones I know, but it is risk I will take with a lap dog, not a cocker.

It sounds like your instincts are right that you may not be the ideal owner for a cocker spaniel.

I'm going to put a plug in for beagles, in case they are at all up your street! Super cuddly hounds (especially the males), good with kids, easy going with other dogs. They'll steal a sandwich right out of your hand, and need plenty of exercise when young, but if you are happy to do consistent training and have a sense of humour, they are fab family dogs in my opinion.

Which sweeping judgement have I made? All I am doing is giving my personal experience having had quite a few cavaliers and cockers over 40 years. Cavaliers are in my experience safer around children than cockers. Please note the use of 'safer'. It is a comparison in case that was not clear. I never said they do not bite, what I said is mine (all 12) have never bitten. Only someone contrary will extrapolate that I said cavaliers do not bite.

Is my experience not worth sharing? Every poster on this forum talks from personal experience and all are valid. What makes your posts any more valid than mine?

I think your children are still too young for a dog if I’m honest. Don’t underestimate how time consuming puppies can be, and they thrive on routine and predictably. Which will be difficult, particularly with the three year old.

We got a show cocker when DS was 10. He could then join us at puppy classes and was old enough to be able to follow our instructions around handing the puppy at home.

Spaniels are generally bitey little buggers when they are young, we would regularly troop out as a family and leave the puppy behind a baby gate when he was being particularly obnoxious.

You’ll need to put in a lot of work to keep a busy brain occupied. A bored puppy is a destructive puppy. Walks wouldn’t tire ours out, we’d do scent training with him and lots of general training on a daily basis. Food hidden around the room, sealed egg cartons with treats in, hide and seek, things like that.

Ours did have an issue with resource guarding and managing that with small children could be a problem. You couldn’t just take something off the dog without thinking. which children might do if a prized toy was at stake.

Oh and never once did mine ever come for a cuddle, he was very aloof with us generally although he bonded with me and if I wasn’t in he’d go off to his bed and ignore everyone else.

He was a wonderful little dog though and we had 12 happy years with him.

It's not a risk anyone should be taking. You should not be allowing your children to be bothering your dogs, and you certainly shouldn't leave them unsupervised.

Being honest, taking that risk is poor parenting and poor dog ownership. And being so blasé about it is borderline negligent.

Of course children should not be allowed to pester dogs but they might go up to them for a cuddle. I am not being blasé just realistic. All I said was that children cannot be 100% surpervised the whole time. Can we please stop this witch hunt against me.

i will say it one last time, in my opinion, cavaliers are more gentle dogs than cockers. That is the point I am making. Op was not even taking about cavaliers so perhaps we should leave it here.

I like Cavaliers but I’m just worried about their health issues.

@ACavalierDream You said:

They are like teenage boy with ADHD - What? All of them? Tell that to the workmen who were here yesterday and commented on how calm my two working cockers are.* *

You can pick up a cavalier or an Italian greyhound for a cuddle even if there are not totally up for it.......... Try and cuddle a cocker who doesn't want to it, you will get bitten. - That is a sweeping statement about three breeds. Some cockers might bite. As might some cavaliers, as a Google search showed me. I haven't googled IG, but I would be surprised if in the history of their existence none of them had ever bitten someone.

I will probably get attacked again for sharing my experience. But hey.

Our cavaliers have been the gentlest of dogs (all bitches). The perfect lap dogs and have brought immeasurable happiness to my elderly grandparents and my children. Our lives and the dogs’ lives have been the richer for it. My poor parenting being evident (such a crushing judgement to make against a mother) I will do it again in a heart beat. Dogs in beds and all. But like many other breeds, they are victim of their own popularity and finding one that is healthy will be very difficult. Before I get slammed for sweeping statements again, of course you can find one but it will be hard. The issue is not the breed itself, it’s all the breeding that has taken place.

If I was not so in love with sighthounds, after having read the many posts about breeds, if I had young children again (never!) I would look into a poodle.

Give it up. It is getting boring. Cavaliers are lap dogs, cockers are not. There will variations within each breed but both were bred for different purpose.

And please substantiate your answers with actual experience not Google searches. How many cavaliers have you had?

So do you want me to give it up or keep answering your questions? Make your mind up love. 🙄

No one has ever described a cocker spaniel as a lap dog. That doesn't mean they are all hyperactive, which is what you stated.
I haven't had any cavaliers. But just because you have owned a small percentage of the breed, you can't state they all won't bite.

I Would seriously reconsider getting a cocker spaniel especially with such a young child. They can be very high maintenance and whilst generally friendly, they can be very boisterous and snappy.

There’s many other dog breeds which would be much more suitable to your young family such as labs, KCC , greyhounds, poodles etc or my favourite beagles!

I know a lot of people with cockers and, tbh, the show ones I know are more nuts than the working variety! They’re all high energy, but the 3 show cockers I know are bloody neurotic and not for the faint hearted!

No please do keep on answering but not with Google searches, base it on actual experience. If you never had cavaliers, you don’t stand much ground to speak about them. Google is not a valid point of reference.

You only select quotes from what I say without either reading my whole posts or simply disregarding the rest. I said multiple times that there are variations in each breed. You are just after me for some reason.