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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

It’s time and I’m devastated

27 replies

Adarajames · 09/08/2025 23:32

She half collapsed today, totally not herself, wouldn’t eat. Took to vets who found large mass in abdomen but can’t tell what it is without operating which really wouldn’t be fair. She must have been compensating for the pain until reached point she just couldn’t any more. Tail has been down all day, she just lay there as vet shaved her and did scan and cannula, and normally she’s dragging me out the room as fast as possible.
She’s had morphine but she’s really upset and unsettled and confused right now which I feel awful about, but vet was very honest in saying she wouldn’t leave beyond Monday if her decision.

Vet was really lovely and saw us last so didn’t have to rush us, were there over 2 hours in the end and although she doesn’t usuallly do home visits, only for special reasons, she said she’d come out for us, even though it’s a vet I’ve never seen before but went to because it was open so only normal costs and not emergency out of hours costs

so in next day or so it’s the final goodbye and I’m so heartbroken.

feeling so guilty that she had morphine so could come home and now she’s all distressed and whining and confused which she wasn’t before. Will sleep in the floor with her if needed to calm her u til family come and we give her so much love tomorrow.

OP posts:
Dolphinosep0tatoes · 09/08/2025 23:49

I am so very sorry @Adarajames .

You've given her such a good and happy life that she stayed happy right until today- that's wonderful. And you're with her now, when it counts. Cherish these last hours and were here for you while you do. Flowers

FrogsAndDaffodils · 10/08/2025 00:24

Oh thats such a shock for you, and so sad. Give her love, and stay with her tonight. You'll know in the morning. Sending love and strength to you and your beautiful girl x

FluffyWabbit · 10/08/2025 03:36

I'm so sorry.

She is lucky to have you.

Sending hugs to you during a very difficult time x

itbemay1 · 10/08/2025 03:41

I’m sorry OP. It’s so difficult sending love

Marylou62 · 10/08/2025 06:16

I'm so sorry OP.. been there, similar situation..
It's truly devastating.. I'm thinking of you 💕..

Duh · 10/08/2025 07:22

I’m so sorry OP. I hope you can find comfort from knowing you have given her a wonderful life full of love. Sending you strength.

PInkyStarfish · 10/08/2025 11:05

The Fading Paw -

The sun sets low, a golden hue,
Upon your fur, a fading view.
Your tail, once wagging, slow to rise,
Reflects the weariness in your eyes.
We sit together, close and still,
My hand upon your head, my heart a-thrill
With memories of laughter, joy, and play,
Of walks we shared along the way.
The time has come, a sombre call,
To face the shadows, heed the fall.
But know this truth, my dearest friend,
Our bond transcends, until the very end.
Though pain may linger, tears may fall,
Your love, your spirit, conquers all.
I'll hold you close, until you sleep,
And in my heart, your memory I'll keep.
For even as you drift from sight,
You'll guide me with your gentle light.
My faithful friend, my loyal dear,
Your pawprints linger, ever near.

……………..

This is also a lovely poem -

The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,

Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can’t be won.
You will be sad I understand,

But don’t let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,

Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.

When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don’t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We’ve been so close — we two — these years,
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
……………..

Your lovely dog has had a wonderful life with you, and has brought you love and joy. It’s very hard saying goodbye but it’s her time to leave, her life shorter than ours but filled with love. What more could a dog have asked for?

harriethoyle · 10/08/2025 11:07

My vet called the decision to let your dog go over the rainbow bridge the last and greatest act of kindness and love we do. It’s so hard @Adarajames but better a day too early than a day too late. You’re the only one who can ease her pain. Sending hugs, it’s such a difficult and traumatic time Flowers

NoTouch · 10/08/2025 11:12

If she is in distress can the vet come now and let her go? Prioritise her comfort even if it means family doesn’t see her.

Sorry you are going through this, I have been in a similar position before.

Adarajames · 10/08/2025 11:48

It’s so hard as today she’s perked up and is eating again and wandering around. The vet said it’s so difficult when showed me all the blood work etc as everything looked totally fine, coat glossy and body score good especially for 14, but that it’s all false hope because the mass is there and she’ll be masking but still in pain. She is still rather restless and is crying on and off though, and thinking about it, she’s been a lot more restless recently and even more of a Velcro dog than the shadow dog she was previously. But it’s still so so so hard to make that decision 😭 I feel so utterly sick.

OP posts:
Sunnyafternooning · 10/08/2025 12:15

I really feel for you. It’s completely shit, a horrible situation to be in.

I’m in the middle of it too. Took our old girl to the vets Friday, thought I’d be coming home alone.

We’ve been given more painkillers to try (I thought like you that maybe she had some sort of internal cancer as she had been picky with food for 24hrs and vomited, and was feeling very sorry for herself, but turns out her arthritis has spread to her spine/pelvis and she had referred pain in her tummy). She masked very well. She’s perked up and is eating happily now, and cheerful… but the painkillers cause ataxia, so her back end is very wobbly.

Vet had explained it was a side effect, but often settles quickly as they get used to the drug. I said we’d touch base Monday to see how she’s doing. If it hasn’t improved within a week then I think I’m going to call time.

I know it’s a kindness. Logically I know that (and I wish it is something we could have done for my grandmother who had years of pain and dementia and absolutely no quality of life). But it is bloody hard and awful. All I can do now is give her lots of love and cuddles and be guided by the vet, trying to keep her needs front and centre.

Myfridgeiscool · 10/08/2025 12:21

This is a ‘better a day early than a moment too late’ situation.
As hard as it is, I’d be taking her soon so she can trot off over the rainbow bridge now rather than waiting for her symptoms to worsen and her be really unhappy.
We love our dogs so much. This final bit is absolutely the hardest decision but you know when it’s the right one.

Nessiesfoodprovider · 10/08/2025 15:22

Our old dog had a similar nasty mass that must have been growing for ages (he'd been for his annual visit and jags about 3 weeks before). He was not himself when I phoned the vets to get an appointment, and I'm glad we went when we did, before he was in huge pain. Your doggie has probably been masking pain, they're very stoic!
It's the hardest day but the greatest act of love we can give to our canine friends. Thoughts are with you.

YesHonestly · 10/08/2025 15:24

It’s better a week too soon than a day too late.

I am so sorry you’re going through this, but it’s the kindest thing you can for her now x

TheOpalReader · 10/08/2025 15:27

My cat was similar, perked right up after the vet visit. I think it was just the painkillers and things they'd given her that made her feel better but it's not a long term solution. Such a horrible time for you I really sympathise with you.

glamapple · 10/08/2025 15:31

I’m so sorry that you’re going through all this. After I called it on our lovely old boy, we took him out for one last sniff and walk he suddenly decided to run 100m to the post box. We were gobsmacked and wondered if there’d been a miracle. But once he got back home he couldn’t rouse himself from his bed and we knew it was time. He was just having one last hurrah. You know that it’s the right thing to do but it is so bloody hard. 🌷 🌷 🌷

FluffyWabbit · 10/08/2025 18:45

Adarajames · 10/08/2025 11:48

It’s so hard as today she’s perked up and is eating again and wandering around. The vet said it’s so difficult when showed me all the blood work etc as everything looked totally fine, coat glossy and body score good especially for 14, but that it’s all false hope because the mass is there and she’ll be masking but still in pain. She is still rather restless and is crying on and off though, and thinking about it, she’s been a lot more restless recently and even more of a Velcro dog than the shadow dog she was previously. But it’s still so so so hard to make that decision 😭 I feel so utterly sick.

I'm so sorry.

My cat, of 14 years, had stomach cancer. We knew that we would have to put him down, at some point, to put him out of his misery. I watched him deteriorate but I did not want to end his life before I thought he was ready or because it would have been 'easier' for me than to go through the process of illness with him.

One day, he panted more than usual, couldn't clean himself and there was a look of helplessness and hopelessness that he gave me. We locked eyes and I knew I couldn't take away his confusion or his pain and, on that day, I knew it was time.

You will know when it's time. It won't be 'easy' because the nature of what is happening, the fact these babies can't talk to us in a way we understand most of the time and the finality of it all, but you will know.

All I can say is that, seven years later, I think I did the right thing by waiting and then being brave enough to do what needed done when I knew it was time.

The only mistake I made was not being there with him when his time came. I said my goodbyes and sent DH with him, instead.

I didn't want my cat to know how distraught I was at saying goodbye and make his final time all about ME instead of about him. I wish I was stronger then.

But, whatever you do, remind yourself that you are doing it from a place of compassion and love.

I know she knows this x

IchLiebeDeutscheSchaferhunde · 10/08/2025 19:51

@PInkyStarfish I'm in pieces.

Op, I'm so sorry. Love is letting go, I know it doesn't feel like that.

mugglewump · 10/08/2025 19:59

So sorry for you, but you have to be brave and do this for your dog. The quality of life has gone and it is the kindest thing to do. We were in your shoes just three weeks ago, the whole tearful family in the vet's surgery. What I wished I'd done was bring one of the dog's blankets to put on the floor as she was first sedated (and wobbly) before sleeping and having the big jab. Also, take a little food bag for some fur - the vet will give you scissors or take your own. Tissues of course too! Thinking of you. It's not easy but it is for the best.

Theimpossiblegirl · 11/08/2025 22:18

I'm in exactly this position. It's heartbreaking but reading these comments is really helpful. It's so important to not let them suffer, we can do this for them. My boy is also 14 and Wednesday morning we are saying goodbye. So one last day of cuddles and love then a peaceful end. Sending you love and strength. Xx

usernamealreadytaken · 11/08/2025 22:42

Adarajames · 10/08/2025 11:48

It’s so hard as today she’s perked up and is eating again and wandering around. The vet said it’s so difficult when showed me all the blood work etc as everything looked totally fine, coat glossy and body score good especially for 14, but that it’s all false hope because the mass is there and she’ll be masking but still in pain. She is still rather restless and is crying on and off though, and thinking about it, she’s been a lot more restless recently and even more of a Velcro dog than the shadow dog she was previously. But it’s still so so so hard to make that decision 😭 I feel so utterly sick.

I absolutely know how you feel. We had to let our boy go in April, not unexpected but sooner than we were ready for. I hope she has peaceful passing, surrounded by love xx

Adarajames · 12/08/2025 02:42

She’s gone.

Yesterday evening, Very peacefully in the garden sitting by the water feature, they gave her a sedative and she was already dozing off anyway having just had lots of steak and salmon, and then she drifted away to sleep and then gone. Mum and Dad and I around her gently stroking and talking to her, laying on her van blanket so smelt of all of us and our van and our travels, and I told her of all the people she loved and who loved her and all the wonderful places we’d shared together. She was a very special girl and so very very loved. She will be very greatly missed by very many people. 💔

OP posts:
Marylou62 · 12/08/2025 06:17

Oh OP.. I'm so so sorry.
We had our beloved springer boy Kenny PTS during lockdown. We were devastated. Nearly 5 yrs later he's still loved and remembered.
Be kind to yourself.. I remember being so tired and aimless. His ashes are in the garden under the birdbath. I often say Hello Kenny as i pass.
Sending love and hugs.

Duh · 12/08/2025 07:08

That sounds very peaceful and full of love x

LlynTegid · 12/08/2025 07:09

Sending hugs and hope in time the good times will be what you think of most.