Worked from home dogs whole life, now might have to go back full time on site

[HangerLaneGyratorySystem]

(Nothing to do with COVID)

DDog is nearly 9 and I've worked almost exclusively from home for 20+ years, during which time I was also married and Ex-H was mostly retired. But since splitting from ex it's been difficult to make sure he's not left alone. On rare days I do go into the office I do a shortish day and he has a dog walker at lunchtime; I don't really like leaving him at all (currently living in a flat so no garden) but if I go out I do the maximum 4-5 hours thing. Still hate leaving him though.

Now life has taken a crap turn and I am facing redundancy - I am mid-60s and struggle with any tech so I am worried about getting another office job where I can work from home; my job is quite specialist, I am not very good at it anyway and as time has gone on technology has overtaken me. So I might end up just taking a supermarket job or something (still have mortgage).

So sad that DDog might have to endure 5 days a week home alone 8-6. Obvs life is now in turmoil with the threat of redundancy but this element of it, worry about leaving the dog, I know I won't get any sympathy for - no point in posting elsewhere on MN, and most people in RL are either aghast I still have a mortgage, thinking I should just move to a cheaper area, or that I should have foreseen this and stayed with Ex-h! I don't think there is a solution other than of course, attempt to get a wfh job but at my age and my skills not up to date I think it's going to be a massive struggle. Oh and I have ADHD so I don't learn new things very well.

Bugger!

Do you have a private pension, when can you draw if so? Have you looked at all your financial possibilities? Do you have a spare room?

If I draw my private pension it wont last long, I'd still have to work, and that money was a fall back in case I had any problems e.g, needed a new car or washing machine broke etc. But yes I could spend it.

I can't have anyone else in the house as young adult DD needs to be able to come home from uni in the holidays and she has additional support needs.

He may adapt fine as long as you have a dog walker in to break up the day. Our last dog was left 6 hours a day with a break in the middle from 3 years old and was absolutely fine. Our lives outside work involved her fully and she lived a long and happy life.

Hey OP - I'm a dog walker and walk lots of dogs who are left all day with just an hour "break" half way through and I promise you, they're all absolutely fine.

MN is very strict about dogs only ever being left for four hours a day but in reality, many are left for much longer and they don't have any issues whatsoever.

He will be absolutely fine with a 30 min walk with a dog walker to break up the day. He is almost 9 so he values his sleep at this age anyway and then you can provide plenty of entertainment and treats before/ after work. Please don’t worry about him and all the best finding a new job

Echo the comments above. Also are there any elderly neighbours who might like some company? Could be a win win for both of you if so...

Sorry to hear about your situation. Whenever I leave the dogs in the day I always let them on the bed that night, feels like they get more company and ‘me’ time. If he doesn’t sleep with you, is this an option?

The good thing OP is that he is now an older dog and so more likely to be ok with sleeping some of the day away.

I do think though that people say their dog is fine with this, that and the other but how do they know? Dogs are social creatures and can't tell you how they're feeling, they might put up with being left alone because they have no other choice, but it doesn't mean they're happy with it. They just don't have another choice. I see this all the time as a dog walker.

Not saying that to upset you OP! You're obviously taking this very seriously, I just think some people just assume their dog must be happy because they haven't spent the whole time howling or destroyed the house.

In your case you've already had your dog 9 years and your circumstances have changed hugely beyond your control. You know it's not ideal but you have to do what you have to do to survive. It would be much worse to have to rehome your dog because you couldn't afford them any more.

What about part time work combined with taking some of your pension? Would that be an option? If not then I love the pp's idea of letting your dog sleep with you for companionship if you're away much of the day.

so sorry to hear your predicament
your ddog will be ok, you will make sure of that

how soon before your adult dd comes home from uni? must be soon if not already?

Why wouldn’t you get sympathy? You have mine. Huge hugs op, hope this gets figured out x

What about working for your dog walker? Or starting up yourself? That’s at least double what supermarket wage is in my area? If you’re fit enough to walk round a supermarket then maybe fit enough for dog walking or dog boarding?

You can sign up to websites like “borrow my dog” and local people sign up to help.

Will you get a good redundancy pay out?

Is downsizing/downgrading where you live a possibility to lower your mortgage or make you mortgage free?

Do you live in an area where people would be likely to rent your spare room for events, work etc? I know you say your daughter needs to still use the room but needs must.

No matter what happens it will be ok. As long as you have a dog walker in place it will be fine.

Well, you have my sympathy. Life can send curveballs we don’t expect.
How about something like Borrow my Doggy. If you find the right person or people this could be a good way to get ddog out and about. Also, if you are doing supermarket the shift patterns are not always regular or full days which could be an advantage?

At the age of 9 I expect your dog will snooze while you’re out. What does your dog currently do during the day when you work from home?
If you walk before and after work and have a dog walker during the day they should be fine. You can get a dog cam to check on them too.

This is a great idea although it depends how fit you are, but still a great idea.

Just be aware that dog boarding requires a council license and inspection.

Dog walking is a good idea but it's not the quick money maker lots of people think it is. It's hard work (especially in winter) and you rarely have a consistent income, which can be hard if you have bills and a mortgage to pay on your own.

I can only run my dog walking business because my DH earns well and we don't rely on my income for the essentials.

You've got my sympathy. If all else fails your dog will adapt to a new routine. Find a reliable dog walker and take it from there. With regard to learning new skills, you definitely can do it. I'm older than you and as my DH became more incapacitated I ended up doing everything tech related and more. If you are constantly sending yourself more positive messages you may well end up surprising yourself. You've got this.

Fair enough @tumblingdowntherabbithole you are right traipsing about it all weathers isnt for everybody,and unstable income too.

Thanks all some kind messages here.

(BTW I meant I wouldn't get any sympathy on another MN topic, so could only post in The Dog House)

I agree OP, AIBU for anything dog related is usually completely off-the-charts-whacky unrealistic responses.

People on this board tend to be a bit more sane and realistic.

The reality is, this is a situation that many many people can find themselves in and anybody's circumstances can change in the blink of an eye making their life setups unviable. It is not your fault, can happen to anyone, so don't let anyone make you feel like a terrible dog owner.

The only thing I would say is don't hesitate to ask for help from those around you. I think if a neighbour was in dire straits and asked me if I can have their dog every Wednesday as part of a wider management plan then I would be happy to help. You'd be surprised.

Good luck, please let us know how things work out xxx

Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound quite so negative!

It’s just a lot of people set up at this time of year when it’s warm and sunny, but they then give up in November when they’re in their third week of trudging through mud and having to dry out a van load of dog towels (again) because everything is just constantly damp 🤣

'Just taking a supermarket job' is a pretty derogatory way to describe a job that many people do, including me. It is actually the most physically demanding and relentless job I've ever had to do and was actually pretty hard to pass the interview for.

Anyway, you've had lots of great advice already re your dog situation and with a careful day to day plan, it should be doable for you. Best of luck.

Hi @HangerLaneGyratorySystem - I’m sorry you are facing redundancy, it never feels good. However, many people say after the event that it ‘was the best thing’ because life takes them in a different, better, direction.

Apologies if this has already been said but have you thought about working for yourself as either a dog walker and/or a dog sitter.

People are crying out for these services, especially since more and more employees are being asked to do increased in-office days.

It’s easy to register with the council to do pet-sitting, if your own dog would be happy with a companion stay over and dog walking is an easy business to start too.

Whatever you decide, please try to see this as an opportunity for something different and better. All the best!

Can you do something about your lack of tech skills? Learning new skills would help your employability and your self esteem which seems rather low. Being in your early 60s really doesn’t mean you cant get to grips with tech.