Worried a puppy will be too much work for friend.

[allamberedover]

I'm not sure of breed but I'm attaching a photo.
Poor little thing looks terrified.
Friend is sort of person who puts 120% of effort into everything she does .
Is late 60s with several health issues.
Do you really have to get up every hour during the night to let pup out to wee?
I just can't imagine how people cope with this and feel worried about how she'll cope with the lack of sleep.
There is no doubt in my mind that the pup will have the best of owners and a good home.
I guess it's the impact of them nights I'm worrying about and how long that period lasts .

Kindly OP, leaping to conclusions of anxiousness on subjects you admit to knowing nothing about and over which you have no control is a little err…..’extreme’
i raised the subject here for advice to check whether my concerns were based on fact .

Yet you assumed a quick Google furnished you with enough judgement to conclude your friend, who is far more knowledgeable on the subject than yourself, would be unable to cope and chose to catastophise on the outcome of her life

Where have I assumed she wouldn't be able to cope ? I said I was worried how she'd cope with lack of sleep .

chose to catastophise on the outcome of her life
where have I done this ?

Kindly OP, leaping to conclusions of anxiousness on subjects you admit to knowing nothing about and over which you have no control is a little err…..’extreme’
But that's why i raised the subject here for advice to check whether my concerns were based on fact .

Yet you assumed a quick Google furnished you with enough judgement to conclude your friend,
I didnt assume that ,it's why I started the thread and said Do you really have to get up every hour during the night to let pup out to wee?
I just can't imagine how people cope with this and feel worried about how she'll cope with the lack of sleep.who is far more knowledgeable on the subject than yourself, would be unable to cope and chose to catastophise on the outcome of her life

Where have I assumed she wouldn't be able to cope ? I said I was worried how she'd cope with lack of sleep .

chose to catastophise on the outcome of her life
where have I done this ?

did you all read this
I think physically they will be able to look after a pup and a dog,I was just reading up on pups and thinking 'gosh that amount of sleep disruption would destroy me ' and wondering how people managed.

It was just the sleepI was worried about .

Where have I assumed she wouldn't be able to cope ? I said I was worried how she'd cope with lack of sleep .

You’ve answered your own question there 😂😂

Being worried about someone does not equate to assuming that the person won't be able to cope !
Why do people keep insisting that I've judged my friend to be incapable ?
My concern was based on a certain /ONE factor - getting up in the night .
I asked on here whether it was really necessary to do this.
I didn't assume it was ,that's why I asked .
I was investigating MY WORRIES not judging and finding my friend incapable .

@Dunnocantthinkofone

I think for me the thing that stood out as making you look interfering is the choice to google sleep in puppies in the first place.

why assume I was interfering because I looked something up ?

I was talking to my friend on the phone ,it was her that said they'd been researching and that puppies had small bladders and couldn't hold wee for more than hour and would have to be let out all night .
I responded with surprise and said couldn't puppy pads be used and that I was sure it was manageable as many people had puppies ,it presumably only lasted a short time etc etc .
But when I put the phone down I googled and it did seem that there was truth in the statement .
But for the millionth time ,that was why I asked on here .

Why do people keep insisting that I've judged my friend to be incapable ?

Regardless is your intention, the impression you have given to everyone who has replied is exactly that. If that isn’t the case, perhaps it’s your argumentative denial of the basic question you were quite clearly asking writing style?

Why do people keep insisting that I've judged my friend to be incapable?

Because that's the entire premise of your opening post. It's right there in your thread title 🤔

I don't understand how people are making the leap from being worried that someone will cope to being judgemental ,dismissive ,harsh ,interfering, childish and assuming that my friend won't cope .

Even to the point of saying that I'm catastrophising about the outcome of my friends life .
I've said I'm an anxious person so you know where I'm coming from ,i've said I'm not worried about the pup and dog it will become being looked after .I've explained that it was just the sleep I was concerned about .
I've not argued that I don't believe you all or I'm still somehow retained the belief that getting up every hour is going to be necessary.
I'm told I'm not getting the point ,that I'm refusing to listen .
I can only think that the not getting the point /refusing to listen is nothing to do with puppy care but is because I'm arguing that I AM NOT JUDGING MY FRIEND TO BE INCAPABLE.

So many of you are desperate to believe I am.I say the pup looks terrified and this is assumed to be a remark made by me to underline that I believe my friend won't cope .
It was just a remark ,I thought the wee thing looked scared .It's young ,why shouldn't it look terrified ?
Oh no ,that dreadful amberedover has to be implying that the look means the pup has a right to look terrified because she's decided her friend wont cope .

Being worried that my friend wont cope is not the same thing as writing her off as incapable .
And if you've read all my posts you'll see that my concern was only about one thing - sleep - and that I was sure she'd cope with everything else .
But there's none so blind as can't read .

Hold on. Let's backtrack here.
You say that she has been researching that young puppies have small bladders... Surely if she's an experienced dog owner she should already know that...
This whole thing is ringing alarm bells for me now.
It sounds to me as if neither you nor your friend actually know anything about puppies at all.
Experienced dog owners do not rely on Google to tell them about house training.
FFS, has she had dogs before or not?

(sorry I quoted the wrong post, meant to quote the one about her googling and you mentioning puppy pads)

What did you actually want from your thread? Because there is not a single one of us on here who can tell you if your friend will cope with lack of sleep or not, even your friend might not know the answer to that question until she has experienced it.

Haven't any of you ever had a moment of concern over someone doing something and even asking for reassurance from others about your worries ?
An adult child going off to to university ,starting a new job ,moving to a new town ?
An elderly relative taking a trip abroad on their own after being widowed ?

None of you ever have any worries about anyone else ,ever in your whole life ?
If you have would you be pleased ,on seeking reassurance ,to be told that you were judging them to be incapable ?And that you were throwing cold water over their plans ( because of course we have to assume that you've immediately told them of your worries ) that you were interfering ,judgemental etc ?

argued the toss with those on here who disagreed with you
I've only argued about being called a PITA ,nosey,interfering,judgemental .
No where have I argued that you're a;ll wrong and that a pup will be too much or demand too much broken sleep .

What did I want from the thread ,right there in my OP
Do you really have to get up every hour during the night to let pup out to wee?
and third post for those who need to back up
I've never had a dog ( pretty sure they have)

There's a difference between thinking "ooh, I hope Jane will be okay with that" and starting a thread on here and arguing with everyone about it

@CoubousAndTourmalet I've said early on that I've never had a dog and don't know about puppies .
It's actually why I started the thread to ask about night time toileting .
Very very very foolishly I explained that this aspect and the possible effect on a friend worried me .

That's not what I'm asking.

I am asking if your friend has had a dog before.

@tumblingdowntherabbithole what exactly is it that you think I;m arguing about ?

My friend has had dogs before ,years ago.

You're not reading what people are saying, you keep overreacting to everything.

I have chronic anxiety for which I am having therapy so I do understand, but you just don't seem capable of listening to anybody...

Everything! All your responses are extremely defensive and frankly a bit bizarre.

Your friend is a grown up - you don't need to stress about her and start threads on an online forum about her. If I read a thread like this about me, I'd be furious.

Well currently, you appear to be arguing about arguing

So she really ought to be able to cope with house training then. It isn't that hard.

I hardly had any disturbed nights with my puppy last year, I certainly was not up every hour! Yes, I had some early mornings but it didn't go on for long.

😂

Right ,so you're unable to say what I'm arguing about ,only that I'm being defensive and bizarre .
Yes I'm being defensive ,I was concerned about whether pups needed to be let out at night .
But what people seem to take offence at is that I asked the question and said I was worried that my friend would cope .
My arguing and defensiveness is about whether or not I've been interfering ,nosey etc for expressing that view .And ,thr biggy ,the judgement that I in turn have judged my friend to be incapable .

@Dunnocantthinkofone very clever but you didn't answer my question did you ?
Hope the above helps.