Dog barking complaint - be gentle I’m upset

[Nugg]

Looking for advice as well as letting it out. I received an anonymous letter from a neighbour posted through the Royal mail that basically said my dog barks too much at antisocial hours is left alone outside on its own for too long and I don’t walk enough

None of this is true. I hate barking dogs and the minute she starts I’m out there but there has been the very occasional time where for example I’m on a teams meeting and the back door is open and something has spooked her that she will bark for longer.

I literally say “quietly” which I’ve trained her to realise means do not bark in the garden as I opened the back door, I say “enough” in a very strong voice, which also stops her immediately should she start.

There are triggers to make her bark constantly because we’ve only lived here for a few months. She’s still getting used to the noises and the people outside.- She literally never barked at my old house unless a cat came in the garden or something like that which is to be expected.

So say my neighbour and her son are out and the little boy starts going woof woof talking to my dog she will bark back but I pick her up and we say hello however if her husband walks up and down the garden repeatedly near the fence and doesn’t interact it really frightens her I guess so she’s barking and I bring her in.

I sat and cried when I got the letter because I’m a really really responsible dog owner, my dog is even a therapy pet. If I ever have to work in the office, I have a wonderful dog sitter that either walk her or take her for the day. She doesn’t bark in the house ever and I can check this to make sure she hasn’t started, which I have because I have a camera.

I’m a very quiet responsible neighbour and dog owner and this has really upset me that they didn’t feel they could just knock on the door because I would’ve obviously have apologised for any upset and been even more attentive to her barking if that’s even possible because I really can’t stand barking dogs.

i’ve read the Battersea dogs home training guide on barking and none of it really applies to her. She doesn’t even bark at the front door.

I’ve only told a few people who all know me and my dog well and they have said it’s ridiculous and I should ignore it, But it’s actually made me frightened to let the dog in the garden for example after work yesterday I let her out she ran down the garden did two small woofs I said enough that was it but in that time one of the neighbours shouted shut up at the top of their voice.

I feel quite bullied that one of my neighbours is spying on me every move because they’ve got it all wrong they obviously don’t see when I take my dog out because a lot of the time I put her in the car and take her somewhere for a really good run. People laugh about how pampered my pet is because she is literally spoiled within an inch of her life.

Do those dog Barking colours work, are they unkind? I don’t know anything about it because it’s literally not been an issue but I don’t wanna be an annoying neighbour and it’s really upset me as I said.

I’m just disappointed they didn’t come and speak to me and I found it quite upsetting that such a bordering on threatening letter was sent to the only person in 35 houses that has a woman living on their own. Not very neighbourly as they claimed they were being.

Some people find confrontation very awkward and intimidating. Some people cannot find the right words during these types of conversations. They will have no way of knowing if you are an abusive, angry or violent single woman who may or may not have just been released from prison for road rage or murder (so stop with the "poor, little female me who can't say boo"). A complaint letter isn't a threatening letter (what did they threaten in it btw?).

Welfare officer or rspca might not have any power but the council certainly does. They have the power to enforce action regarding anti social behaviour and/or noise. Dogs barking is a real problem nowadays so either stop her barking (as others have suggested perhaps stop with the open door), or collect 24/7 evidence that it isn't your dog causing the problem. Or expect a court enforcement letter. You have choices.

I am surrounded by dogs as every second house has one on this estate but I only hear two. One barks the second she is let out, does a lap of the garden barking, then shuts up to sniff and chill, that's understanable and nobody minds. The other is a major nonstop pita who barks at shadows.

I found it quite upsetting that such a bordering on threatening letter was sent to the only person in 35 houses that has a woman living on their own.

can someone explain what the relevance of this is please? Is OP saying she’s vulnerable because she lives on her own, or that she was targeted because she lives on her own? Or that this wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t live alone?

You need to keep her inside until she’s used to the new noises. The radio on or white noise will help drown out environmental noise. Garden for toilet only.

My dogs have never had unsupervised garden access until they settle down and are able to feel safe enough not to bark. My DH WFH and barking dogs are really irritating.

I'd say it's a combination of those but I very much doubt that she is being targeted simply for being a lone woman. Clearly the dog is annoying someone, but she is feeling bullied and vulnerable.
Given that I'm far more noise sensitive and intolerant than my husband, I wouldn't automatically make the assumption that the letter is necessarily written by a man...

I suspect they sent you a letter as they didn’t want to deal with a potential confrontation on the doorstep.

From your latest update it does sound like you’re doing all you can.

Have to say. It is very aggressive to post an anonymous letter. They should just pop round and say it gently.
maybe try and keep it in between 9am and 8pm.
outside of these hours supervise it.
have to say near me. Lots of dog owners. And hardly any barking.
how often do you walk it? Maybe the dog will settle with time. But it’s obviously nervous in the garden without you.

Thanks again. My neighbours either side have been completely normal with me even the guy next door who seems to scare her a bit said maybe I need to get some treats so she knows me better when she sees me.

cctv is up so I can evidence the lack of barking and the fact she is not alone in the garden, I’m always in the kitchen beside the French doors to monitor it since I’ve realised the triggers. I could understand it in the first month or so when I was trying to unpack work etc snd eh undoubtedly barked more at the nooses but she’s so settled now.

anyway thank you - I’ve had some lovely PMs constructive advice in them and this thread and I’m very aware how annoying dogs are as I cannot bear it.

I’ll continue to control it and look for new ideas - distraction with a ball or a treat works so well for her already. I don’t want to be an irritating neighbour and I always smile and anyone I meet and say hello but it’s not a very welcoming cul de sac I think. Me and my neighbours either side are the newest residents for many years.

I’ll plod on! Thank you all once again

Gratuitous photo of the Beast 🥴

You sound very defensive and I suspect your dog is barking more frequently than you think.
We had new neighbours about 18 months ago and their dog barking constantly has ruined so many aspects of our lives. It has free reign of the garden (they work from home) and barks anytime from 7.30 am to 10pm. Another neighbour across the fence at the bottom of our gardens also has a dog and the two families just leave them to bark at each other constantly. We can't sit on our terrace without it barking.

A few years ago we had a shed installed at the bottom of our garden which we use as a mini-gym and teenage media room. I used to enjoy escaping down there to do exercise videos and yoga in the evening. I can no longer do this because as soon as the dog next door sees the lights on it comes down the garden and barks constantly behind the fence. There is no joy in going to our gym any more, and more than once I've come back to the house in tears of frustration.

I've tried talking to the neighbours but they just laugh and say 'yeah, she's a nosy little thing'.

Seriously OP, don't ignore this neighbour note - you are likely ruining someone's life with your thoughtlessness.

@TiredWifehave you RTFT??

Ruining someone's life 😂

Get noise cancelling headphones FFS.

I agree, nobody should be allowing their dog to constantly bark. It's not funny and that's why mine (mostly) doesn't. I don't think OP is telling lies about how much her dog barks. Just because you're have annoying barking dogs doesn't mean this is the case here.

I'm sorry but it's hilarious to me that you're saying it's ruining your life. I had neighbours who had parties every day of the week, all day and night. Had a constant stream of people in and out the house buying drugs, house often got smashed up and loud arguments in the street in the middle of the night. We had to use white noise machines which didn't even help. THAT ruined our lives, we often wanted to end our lives over it.

They also had a dog that barked and, yes, it was annoying but hardly life ruining.

If it's as bad as you say then complain to the council but I doubt they're barking constantly.

As someone with Misphonia a ddog barking is very bad for the mh... Ignorant to say otherwise imo..

Be a more responsible owner. ANY barking that neighbours have to hear is too much IMO. She sent you a letter rather than speak face to face as it's a difficult thing to have to confront someone who will almost certainly deny there is a problem. I've had the crappy neighbours with barking dogs and it's horrible.

Op, don’t stress too much, MN is quite anti-dog so there’s going to be a lot of shock as though your dog has eaten 10 babies then proudly barked solidly for the next 3.5years.

I know someone who recorded her dog as the neighbours said the dog was a nuisance and barked ‘all night’. The council came out and case closed, reassured her that dogs do bark (as kids scream etc) and the issue would be the time of day and how long it goes on for.

I would just try and be out there with her or keep her in when you’re working. But the odd time, a few barks is not going to get you in mither.

🤣 ‘Any barking is too much’. Goodness me that made me laugh!

Gag all the kids, disconnect the mower, diazepam the dog, shoot the birds and don’t even think about letting granny out the back with her loud laugh!

Everyone’a happy!

I have RTFT and I agree. I think the dog is barking more than you think. Being close by isn’t enough. If the dog barks then you need to take it out on a lead. Not let it come and go as it likes and risk it barking when you’re in another room. Barking dogs are a PITA. And yes. I have dogs.

Having been on the receiving end and of being the annoyed neighbour I do feel dog owners get used to their dog barking and can down play how often it is. This was our neighbour her attitude was "dogs bark" but it was constant. It ruined our lives tbh ans we moved. I'm not saying your the same op but I do feel dog owners down play how much a dog barking can be hard to tolerate for neighbours if it's constant or at times of childrens bed time etc 😊

Yes I have, and I still think you’re probably underestimating the problem your dog is causing.

I now dread the summer. I work from home and my office is in the loft and gets warm so I like to open windows. The barking is so incessant that people comment on it when I’m on work calls. I have to close the windows and overheat or move downstairs to work in the kitchen.

My previous (adjoining) neighbour had a dog that barked incessantly inside and outside. The only room I couldn’t hear it was the downstairs loo.

It was given free rein to go in or out of house and in the summer was in garden frequently barking incessantly in lengthy bursts of around to 5 mins per burst 100 deep barks a minute. I would swelter in summer as couldn’t open windows. Even when closed I would be on conference calls and people would complain about the barking.

7am and 11pm wees would be 5 mins per burst barking fests as the dog would hear traffic, a bird, a leaf whatever.

It impacted my mental health. I sold my house and moved.

What was interesting was that the dog moved out with neighbours daughter to a house with a long garden adjoining a friends long garden. Says friend is now miserable and reporting to council.

i think owners do get deaf to the issue and downplay it. It’s only bursts, just the odd conference call when the dog barks for 15 mins without taking a breath, only out for 3 mins for a wee etc.

it’s really misery inducing

That sounds like a rather more bleak version of "Stop All the Clocks" 🤣

Dogs bark but it sounds like yours barks excessively op.

you need to keep it in, not give it free reign when you’re not able to supervise it and not let it outside when you’re on teams.

My dog hasn’t barked once since Monday evening. Which is normal for her. The annoying dog that barked all day Monday while mine slept under my desk hasn’t either so I’m guessing we all got a note.

I am not underestimating her barking, I absolutely cannot bear dogs that barked, lick, jump up… so those traits were trained out her at a young age. As a result I have a lovely well behaved dog. That suits my lifestyle as I do hers.

@faerietales It's obvious that this is one very sensitive neighbour. If the dog was constantly barking, the OP would have received other complaints one way or another. Very normal in most places for people to post complaints about dogs barking on Facebook where I live. Normal in most towns AFAIK.

I think whether something ends up on Facebook or not is very area dependent- around here most gossip and bitching is very much done in person 🤣

Of course this could be a really sensitive neighbour but I just don’t think that something not being on Facebook really means anything either way.

Well then you clearly have no need for our advice here at all. Your dog is clearly perfect.

And a neighbour was prompted to send an anonymous note out of the blue for no reason whatsoever.

🙄