Hello all, I have been MIA for a little while as work has been INCREDIBLY busy but I have just caught up on all your adventures (and the pictures!) and it's been a delight. Before I get into a wee Betty update, my thoughts on the car situation @YorkshireFelix (for what they're worth...). We had Betty on the backseat on a harness for ages and rather like @Bupster's Bill, she liked to stand with her feet on the central console – all very sweet until she started getting car sick and we ended up with vomit all inside the cracks between the front seats etc etc...! So we got out the guard we had used with our old dog and tried her in the boot, and she's much happier – less vomity, and it feels safer too (other than when DD is car snacking, at which point Betty insists on standing with her paws on the back seat to inspect, and ends up falling on her bum when we go round corners).
I'm delighted to say that all is well here, and it is 100% thanks to YOU LOT. I can't remember who it was that advised me to be "Disney Mum" with Betty when I was struggling so much, but my goodness it has been transformative! Our bond is SO strong now, I am completely besotted with her and can't imagine life without her. After a few weeks of forcing myself to make sure that every interaction I had with her was a positive one, it just became second nature and that changed everything – mostly my own feelings and attitude towards being her mum. I gave up trying to get her to fit in with my old life and instead accepted that my life would have to adapt to suit her for a little while, and surrendering that control has been great. Some examples:
- We've given up trying to keep her off our bed and now she comes out of her crate at about 5.30am and snuggles up between us and I LOVE IT – she insists on one of us cuddling her, too, and will paw at our hands until one of us puts our arm around her.
- We've stopped worrying about getting her to lead walk really nicely because honestly, none of us like lead walks anyway, so what's the point? Instead we've worked really hard on her recall and focus on us off lead, and now we can walk along the beach or through the woods for miles, and she will happily go off and explore but checks in with us regularly and comes back immediately when called or when she hears the whistle. Even when other dogs are around, she's great at refocusing on us. It's become such a pleasure taking her out to walk.
- We still haven't left her on her own but at this stage that's more our own reluctance to upset the apple cart rather than anything else – I think she'll be fine when we eventually do it. We are going to start soon though as we're going on holiday in the summer and although she's coming with us, we want to be able to leave her for a couple of hours so we can do touristy things that dogs aren't allowed to.
She really is a lovely, sweet-natured, affectionate dog and we have been very fortunate with her character. She has mellowed out a lot too, which has been so helpful – she happily dozes most of the morning while I work now. I know we still have the bulk of the teen years ahead of us but I feel like our bond is strong enough to survive them now which I think will make all the difference.
Anyway, thank you all for your amazing help and advice.