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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Found my dog dead, really traumatised and freaked out

110 replies

boymummy2021 · 13/04/2025 23:12

I had a staffy called Lexi, she was 13 years and 6 months old, she had cancer a few years ago that I had removed, she had her eye removed 4 months ago due to a tumour, she had multi tumours on her body most non cancerous, she would eat normally, she died 2 days ago, the day she died I took her for a walk, put her a big bowl of food she ate it, and I went upstairs to sleep and the next morning I come down I could see her fast asleep on the sofa, she looked so peaceful, her paw was under her chin just relaxing and she was on her favourite pillow, but I noticed she didn't wag her tail so I went to stroke her and she was stiff but not very cold, she was dead!! her one eye was open, I am so heartbroken I feel sick ,recently I put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs as she kept peeing upstairs and would sometimes fall down the stairs, I feel so guilty that she died alone, she was my world and so spoiled, I've never had a dog die naturally they have all been put down but I am so traumatised, I drove her to the vets and she is being cremated tomorrow. I just feel so lost for words, numb, blank, confused, is it my fault? what made her stop breathing

OP posts:
FlatWhiteExtraHot · 14/04/2025 12:18

So sorry for your loss. It’s heartbreaking to lose a pet, and we all blame ourselves, but there’s nothing you could have done differently so don’t beat yourself up.

She had the best life, the best care, and the best possible ending. Safe, warm and loved in her own bed. Even if you had left the stair gate open, I doubt she would have come to find you, or alerted you in any way. She just drifted off in her sleep.

PhatGurlSlim · 14/04/2025 12:27

She was loved and cared for right up to the end. Many of us humans won't be cared for as well at the end of our lives. Well done you for making her last hours so tranquil.

Spacehop · 14/04/2025 12:32

It's terribly upsetting for you but really the best thing for her. It's the way I'd want to go. But is still a shock. RIP.

Emmz1510 · 14/04/2025 12:38

boymummy2021 · 13/04/2025 23:12

I had a staffy called Lexi, she was 13 years and 6 months old, she had cancer a few years ago that I had removed, she had her eye removed 4 months ago due to a tumour, she had multi tumours on her body most non cancerous, she would eat normally, she died 2 days ago, the day she died I took her for a walk, put her a big bowl of food she ate it, and I went upstairs to sleep and the next morning I come down I could see her fast asleep on the sofa, she looked so peaceful, her paw was under her chin just relaxing and she was on her favourite pillow, but I noticed she didn't wag her tail so I went to stroke her and she was stiff but not very cold, she was dead!! her one eye was open, I am so heartbroken I feel sick ,recently I put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs as she kept peeing upstairs and would sometimes fall down the stairs, I feel so guilty that she died alone, she was my world and so spoiled, I've never had a dog die naturally they have all been put down but I am so traumatised, I drove her to the vets and she is being cremated tomorrow. I just feel so lost for words, numb, blank, confused, is it my fault? what made her stop breathing

Oh love I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she passed very peacefully although obviously how traumatic for you to lose her so suddenly.
Do you have support and people you can lean on at this sad time?
The vet might be able to direct you to support services.

PyrannosaurusRex · 14/04/2025 12:40

I can't add much to the beautiful words of comfort expressed above but you probably need to hear over and over again that you did nothing wrong, so I will.

If she'd needed you, she'd have barked and you'd had heard her. The fact that she didn't means she just drifted off peacefully in her sleep - free from any worry or pain, comfortable, secure and loved. I hope when the end comes for my DDogs they leave this world like your Lexi did.

Be very, very kind to yourself. You've had a shock, and no time to prepare. Dogs don't live long enough but they absorb so much of our love, time and memories that when they go, they take a little piece of us with them.

Poppymeldrum · 14/04/2025 12:44

It must have been an awful shock but please remember,she knew she was loved and she loved you back

Full tummy,lovely memory of a walk and at home in 'her' spot while knowing you where there,in the houe

My childhood dog was dragged to the vet (she hated the vet) by my father (who wasn't her biggest fan),left alone with just the vet and nurse (strangers to her) and a her last memory was a needle-that tears me apart as an adult as I loved that dog very much

She should have been at home,in her spot in front of the fire and knowing we all loved her

I'll never forget the phone call to say she'd gone

She taught me to love,she never judged me,she helped me learn to walk,how to behave around dogs and she taught me to never,ever paint a dogs claws red as you will get into trouble (even though she looked very stylish with her red nail polish and black coat)

Lexis time had come and I'm sure she wanted to just go without forcing you to witness it (she loved you that much)

You gave her the best life and she knew and loved you for it

She was a very lucky dog-when your ready,google 'the rainbow bridge'

She'll be waiting for you there,susie will look after her

I'm sending so much love xxx

lemonchops100 · 14/04/2025 12:47

boymummy2021 · 13/04/2025 23:12

I had a staffy called Lexi, she was 13 years and 6 months old, she had cancer a few years ago that I had removed, she had her eye removed 4 months ago due to a tumour, she had multi tumours on her body most non cancerous, she would eat normally, she died 2 days ago, the day she died I took her for a walk, put her a big bowl of food she ate it, and I went upstairs to sleep and the next morning I come down I could see her fast asleep on the sofa, she looked so peaceful, her paw was under her chin just relaxing and she was on her favourite pillow, but I noticed she didn't wag her tail so I went to stroke her and she was stiff but not very cold, she was dead!! her one eye was open, I am so heartbroken I feel sick ,recently I put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs as she kept peeing upstairs and would sometimes fall down the stairs, I feel so guilty that she died alone, she was my world and so spoiled, I've never had a dog die naturally they have all been put down but I am so traumatised, I drove her to the vets and she is being cremated tomorrow. I just feel so lost for words, numb, blank, confused, is it my fault? what made her stop breathing

Aww such sad news but i think you can take comfort in the fact Lexi was not at the bottom of the stair gate waiting for you to open it, she was settled on the sofa with her fave cushion, she must have had a peaceful ending as you found her in the ‘asleep’ position… we lost our Staffy Oz a few years back and he was surrounded by all of us petting him and comforting him which was not exactly nice but glad he knew we were there… we had his ashes put into a rainbow glass loveheart that i cherish and put into jewellery for my 4 kids you will have given Lexi the best life you possibly could have so be thankful she was loved and cared for and had the best life… she could not ask for a better ending (going to sleep and at peace forever in your hearts)💕 🐾🌈

5128gap · 14/04/2025 12:49

Your girl died peacefully on her sofa after a lovely walk and a big dinner. Unlike us, animals don't live their lives with the shadow of death hanging over them. They don't fear it in the way we do, so as long as she had no pain (the position you found her in suggests not) she'd have slipped quietly away knowing nothing about it. And we should all be so lucky. It sounds like you gave her a lovely life and she was a lucky girl. You will miss her horribly, but that's sadly the price we pay for sharing our lives with animals, and the joy we bring each other.

lifeonmars100 · 14/04/2025 12:50

I am so sorry, you must be very upset and shocked. Maybe when the shock lessens you may be able to accept that she was an older and poorly dog whose last day was spent in love and happiness and who died peacefully in her sleep at home. I know this is not much comfort now but I hope it will be in the future. You will never forget Lexi and it sounds as if you gave her a wonderful life

LurcherMumma · 14/04/2025 12:51

I'm so sorry OP this must have been so hard.

I hope you take some comfort knowing she died peacefully in her sleep. She did not feel alone, she was at home on her comfy sofa provided by her wonderful owner. She would have felt loved and peaceful.

RaininSummer · 14/04/2025 12:51

My dog is 13 and I do expect to find him like that one morning. I would find this better than suffering or being PTS so see it as a blessing if it happens like that.

Bookloveruk · 14/04/2025 12:59

So sorry for your loss sometimes they just want to go peacefully on their own and emotions will be raw for you. In time you will remember all the happy moments and remember her full of life. Lots of love

Inthetyreshop · 14/04/2025 13:02

She died peacefully and she knew she was loved by you. Pleas don't feel sad. You gave her a great life

Isobel201 · 14/04/2025 13:05

that's exactly how my nan died - went for a nap on the sofa with a cup of coffee and biscuit left on the table, and never woke up again. If I die, I just want it to be that way.

TotallyAddictedToCoffee · 14/04/2025 13:06

I'm so very sorry for your loss @boymummy2021 A similar thing happened to me

Our darling 10.5 year old Rottie had been diagnosed with osteosarcoma (he had loads of secondaries all through his chest, so there was nothing they could do, bless him) so the vets sent him home with painkillers and anti-inflammatories and told us "we'd know" when it was time to take him back to be PTS

He was back home for a week, but on the Friday morning I came downstairs to find him dead on the living room floor

Traumatic isn't the word OP

He'd obviously been trying to get outside as there was wee all over the kitchen floor, he'd bled/had diarrhoea all over the sofa and then died on the floor under the window leaving a mess of blood/poo on the floor too

It was honestly the most awful experience, I felt so guilty for leaving him downstairs, alone. I wish the vets hadn't woken him from his sedation when they were x-raying him, considering they found him to be riddled with cancer! They should have let him pass away peacefully. Instead I'm left with these awful memories of letting my beautiful boy down 😢 I'll never forgive myself for that

I hope you can forgive yourself OP, as we can just ever know when it's a dogs time to go. You loved her and that's all that matters

ClassicalQueen · 14/04/2025 13:09

Actually this is the best way for them to go, she died at home, safe and happy. I’m sorry for your loss OP.

Cantabulous · 14/04/2025 13:12

Bless you, she had a peaceful end, loved and safe. You have nothing to blame yourself for. It’s devastating though 😢

DoraSpenlow · 14/04/2025 13:19

I am so sorry for you loss.

This happens to a friend of mine. Dog was slightly off colour the day before but nothing too concerning. She came down the next morning to find him dead. He was only 6. Terrible shock for her and it took her a long time to get over it.

There was nothing you could have done. It was her time.

LittlerCharlotte · 14/04/2025 13:22

Oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry. I can't begin to imagine your heartbreak - but what a gift you gave Lexi. She was comfortable and loved and secure, dying in her own home, knowing her beloved owner/mum (whatever you prefer) was not far away, She simply closed her eyes and drifted off. She looked peaceful because she WAS and that was because you loved and cared for her so much.

Honestly - my granny died the same way and I cannot think of a greater gift. She also waited until my mum and aunt were out of the room. I think Lexi had literally her last supper, curled up comfortably and went to sleep. Much love to you. x

Sabrinaspellman01 · 14/04/2025 13:26

I am so sorry OP sending you big hugs ❤️❤️❤️

JustBec · 14/04/2025 13:27

She drifted away in her favourite spot, comfy and safe with a heart full of your love and a belly full of dinner. You have done everything right.

BobbyBiscuits · 14/04/2025 13:29

It's so sad losing a pet. The poor girl was elderly and had obviously been through a lot. She died peacefully at home which is in many ways a good thing. The only alternative would've been PTS which is also sad and you may have had to witness their actual death.

My dear last cat died at home, and he was curled up asleep, looking peaceful.

I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sure she had a wonderful and fulfilling life x

Dwrcegin · 14/04/2025 13:31

So sorry OP, its so hard to lose them Flowers

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/04/2025 13:31

Dog behaviourist hat on...

Please try not to feel awful - your dog would absolutely NOT have been curled up asleep on the sofa if she were distressed, upset, feeling insecure etc etc. Dogs who feel like that are unable to get themselves comfy and relax.

Most of us half hope that this is how our dogs pass, in their sleep, in old age, in a comfy spot, feeling secure and loved. The fact you were not in the room does absolutely NOT mean she didn't feel loved - she was on the sofa, which is one of the most secure comfy spots in the house next to your bed, and it will (to a dog, not to a human) stink of YOU.

So she passed surrounded by your scent feeling safe.

That is by far, an easier and better passing than many dogs will get, its nicer than most humans will get too actually.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 14/04/2025 13:37

It's a privilege to be well enough to pass naturally. I know it's hard to feel that though.

I had 1 dog pass naturally, she came bounding downstairs wagging her tail like a 14 year old puppy dog, sat in front of me, smile on her face, tail wagging and just slowly flopped to the side.

I had another dog who had kidney failure and although we acted fast, we still had to opt for putting to sleep.

On a personal level the second dogs passing felt less traumatic and more controlled, but to be able to have your beloved pet at home till the end of their days, filled with love, comfort and familiarity really is both an honour and privilege even though it's so terribly the worst day of your life.

It's a beautiful time of year to plant a flower or a tree in memory of your wonderful girl if you're into it. It's a beautiful source of life, and a home for many creatures.