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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Found my dog dead, really traumatised and freaked out

110 replies

boymummy2021 · 13/04/2025 23:12

I had a staffy called Lexi, she was 13 years and 6 months old, she had cancer a few years ago that I had removed, she had her eye removed 4 months ago due to a tumour, she had multi tumours on her body most non cancerous, she would eat normally, she died 2 days ago, the day she died I took her for a walk, put her a big bowl of food she ate it, and I went upstairs to sleep and the next morning I come down I could see her fast asleep on the sofa, she looked so peaceful, her paw was under her chin just relaxing and she was on her favourite pillow, but I noticed she didn't wag her tail so I went to stroke her and she was stiff but not very cold, she was dead!! her one eye was open, I am so heartbroken I feel sick ,recently I put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs as she kept peeing upstairs and would sometimes fall down the stairs, I feel so guilty that she died alone, she was my world and so spoiled, I've never had a dog die naturally they have all been put down but I am so traumatised, I drove her to the vets and she is being cremated tomorrow. I just feel so lost for words, numb, blank, confused, is it my fault? what made her stop breathing

OP posts:

HoppingPavlova · 14/04/2025 05:46

She died very peacefully in her sleep, just the way many people do. Not all deaths are traumatic, requiring medical assistance/intervention and it’s great that hers wasn’t. My greatest wish is to go peacefully in my sleep when my time comes!

It’s so hard when any pet dies, and we are allowed to be very sad, but death is a normal part of life, there is no blame game in these circumstances. Sounds like she had a brilliant life with you.

LandSharksAnonymous · 14/04/2025 05:59

It’s not your fault, OP.

As PPs said, she most likely passed away in her sleep - dogs can sleep with their eyes open, mine do - and that’s as good a way to go as any. She was safe and loved. You need to focus on that.

It’s hard not being there with them when they go, but if she passed away in no pain and not scared that’s worth everything.

I’m so sorry for your loss though, no matter how long they’re with us it’s never enough

Livingbytheocean · 14/04/2025 06:41

The grief and loss of a dog is horrendous. I am so sorry op.

That really sounds like the most wonderful ending for her. Safe and loved and peaceful. It’s what we all hope for our dogs (and humans) she has had a great life with you, and in time you will be able to enjoy those memories of her. In the meantime take some time off, talk to those closest to you and be ready for the waves of grief for a few weeks. It’s important to honour her memory and all of the happy times you shared.

skinnyoptionsonly · 14/04/2025 06:45

I’m sorry for your loss. As others have said, It sounds very peaceful And it was her time after a lovely life with you.

I’d imagine what you’re experiencing right now is shock rather than trauma

Do you have someone you can talk to about her and what happened?

Myfairyhanny · 14/04/2025 07:00

Your darling dog's pillow would have smelt of you, so she’d have had you close when she made her final journey. Losing a much loved companion is so hard but you can take comfort that her final hours were happy and she was not scared.

GeorgianaM · 14/04/2025 07:06

She was around 78 years old in human years so has a very long life thanks to you. She was loved and cared for.

You found her in a peaceful position and she died in her sleep.

As distressing it is at your loss, this really was the best way for her to go. She wasn't alone, she went to sleep content in the knowledge she was in her home and was very much loved.

Sorry for your loss.

Cognacsoft · 14/04/2025 07:07

It's tough when our dogs, our best friends, die.
Lexi had a fabulous life and a peaceful death, she was a lucky dog.

It’s a year next week since my girl died, I still miss her but I know that, like Lexi, she had a great life.

Gettingbysomehow · 14/04/2025 07:07

What a lovely way to go, sleeping in her happy home after a lovely day.
I'm sorry for you OP, it's gutting when a much lived pet dies.

sassyduck · 14/04/2025 07:27

I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong. Take comfort from what previous posters have said. She died in her own home in her sleep. What a peaceful ending for her. In her own familiar bed.

SnowSnow · 14/04/2025 07:35

I’m so sorry for the loss of your lovely Lexi, you must be devastated at the loss of your wonderful girl.

I agree with all the others she was snuggled up cosy and content and slipped away. Please don’t beat yourself up.

Silverbook55 · 14/04/2025 07:57

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a shock and I hope you are being kind to yourself today.

From the way you write about her we can tell Lexi was incredibly loved. She was an adored dog who you nursed through cancer and cared for into old age. After a walk with you, a meal and on her sofa she passed away peacefully; in her safe space where she knew she was loved.

Losing a dog is so hard and their short lives are the unfair price we pay for their unconditional love. Sending you lots of love.

FartSock5000 · 14/04/2025 08:08

@boymummy2021 she passed in the best possible way. Had you been there, you would have been upset and she would have sensed this and also been distressed.

She went calm and content. Don't beat yourself up. Be grateful for all the years and extra time you got.

You did good by her. You gave her a wonderful last day and she went to sleep and died safe and loved.

Take care of yourself. Her loss is still as profound as any other and you deserve to mourn in your own way and in your own time. 💔

Iwilladmit · 14/04/2025 08:19

If That is how I pass away I’ll
count myself very lucky. A day with my loved ones, nice dinner, comfy and safe and happy and peaceful in my bed.
I honestly don’t think it could be better.
hope you’re ok op

SchruteShunned · 14/04/2025 08:21

I hear you @boymummy2021and it sounds from your post that you deeply wish you could have been there with Lexi as she made the transition from life.
Your feelings are relatable, and entirely natural. It sounds as if her last day was as normal as any other, how would you have known the next day would be any different?
I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you are able to take comfort from all the lovely posts others have left, as well as the knowledge that you gave Lexi 13 years of love. She sounds as if she died peacefully, in a favourite and familiar place.

Sending you warmest wishes 💐

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 14/04/2025 08:21

Oh @boymummy2021 I'm sorry that you are tearing yourself apart with guilt. Your wee Lexi wouldn't want you to be feeling like this. She sounds to have had the best life, her health well taken care of, in a loving home with people who loved her.
She went in her sleep, comfy warm and safe, knowing she was loved. You would probably have woken up to find her gone, even if she had been upstairs with you.
I think it is Blue Cross who have a pet bereavement phone line that you can call to chat through things. It might help you to process the trauma.

PeopleTalkingWithoutSpeaking · 14/04/2025 08:28

Bless you op. Of course you are traumatised. But time will change that, and your mind will allow you to heed the kind and true words of pps - she was a lucky dog, who went peacefully in the manner she would have chosen if she could, and you'll be able to focus on her life and the love she gave you.

Penguins3 · 14/04/2025 08:30

What a lovely way for her to go, peacefully asleep on her sofa at home with a full belly. Surrounded by familiarity.
She was found comfortably not all contorted, frightened etc

I realise it must have been really shocking to find her when you weren’t expecting it and so heartbreaking. But for her probably one of the best ways to go.

Wish you all the best and sorry for your loss.

Miley23 · 14/04/2025 08:30

We had a very similar thing happen last year op and it is devastating. Our almost 13 year old dog had had cancer about 18 months previously but made a good recovery. Seemed fine on the day she died, had been for a walk and then just collapsed and died suddenly before we could get her to a vet. We were with her but equally it could have happened that day when I was at work. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

greengreyblue · 14/04/2025 08:36

Sorry for your loss .
My dog is 11 and I hope she goes that way, after a walk and something to eat, all warm and cosy in her safe place. ❤️

ArtyFartyHippopotamus · 14/04/2025 08:39

So sorry for your loss. You gave her a wonderful life and she was loved. She passed away peacefully after a perfect day with the person she loved the most. As a dog owner I understand your grief. Try to remember the happy times you spent together and hold those in your heart forever. She is at rest now.

Found my dog dead, really traumatised and freaked out

Tortielady · 14/04/2025 09:20

I am sorry to hear about your sweet girl. We've had two cats pts and although it was a humane process for them, there are no guarantees that your animal won't find the whole business distressing - strange people, weird smells, other animals...it can be their equivalent of dying on a hospital ward. Some people ask the vet to come to the house which is better in many respects, but it's still medical intervention from someone who isn't your pet's person. Plus, euthanasia isn't the only route to a good death. Lexi had a trip out, followed by a nice dinner, then she drifted peacefully away in her safe place with her human not far away. Many people would want exactly that for themselves, so don't think for one minute you let her down. The fact that you thought she was asleep suggests that she died peacefully and wasn't aware of anything out of the ordinary. RIP to your beloved Lexi 🌻

hestkuk · 14/04/2025 09:35

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a beloved pet.
You did nothing wrong and it's not your fault. She was old and had tumours. Her body just stopped working.
She had a wonderful last day with you, going for a walk, eating lots of food and then going to sleep on the sofa on her favourite pillow and she went to sleep and didn't wake up again. There is no better end to a wonderful life than that.

viques · 14/04/2025 10:01

It was her time and she went gently and peacefully. I was with a friend whose dog collapsed and died in front of us in a very distressing way , for the dog as well as for my friend. I think I know which way I would want my dog to die. People are saying, rightly , that your Lexi had a wonderful last day of life, but please remember that that last day with her was a happy, caring day for you too, remember it fondly alongside all the other wonderful memories you have of your lives together.

If you feel up to it I am sure we would all be happy to see a photo of your girl taken on a day when she was full of the joy of being a loved and loving companion.

ParsnipPuree · 14/04/2025 10:10

So sorry for your loss and anguish. But as others have correctly said, she had a nice walk, a lovely meal and a rest. No trauma, no vet, just went to sleep when it was her time after a happy, pampered, loved life. That’s what you’ll always remember.

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 14/04/2025 10:27

I'm so sorry OP 🫂💔 It sounds like she went very peacefully in her sleep, just remember the wonderful and loving life you gave her 💐

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