Reactive Dogs - Sh*t people say

[MargoylesofBeelzebub]

A bit of a light hearted one - anyone with a reactive dog familiar with these phrases? The first was said to me yesterday as someone's off-lead dog came over and started barking at my boy, who was fine but let out a little growl to tell said dog to back off, I've been ruminating it since (it's been said before!) so thought I'd start a thread to see if there are other owners of reactive dogs out there who get weird things said to them.

FWIW my dog is reactive in very specific circumstances, but I always err on the side of caution and hold him close when we're going past dogs, which is usually when these things get said! We're also working on his reactiveness and have employed a one-to-one trainer, which has massively helped, but it's a long process!

• "If he was off lead, it would have been OK!" - Er, no.
• (As I'm holding him closer using the handle of his harness) - "Aww don't worry, my (tiny dog) is friendly!" - yes, but my large dog isn't 😂

After taking my muzzled large breed ddog out one night after dark (with dd) and sitting on a bench with her lead wrapped round a seat whilst a man walking his spaniel went past.. Ddog literally foaming at the mouth.... The man sat next to us. On a seaside parade with dozens of benches on it..i gave up pondering anyone's logic....
People are fucking stupid at times.. And ddogs get the blame...

I have been told to keep my on lead dog under control after he got a bit grumpy with an off lead dog that wouldn't recall.

I did ask them to keep their dog away from mine....

I also hate people who mirror me... like I put my dogs in a sit/ down stay at the side of a path so an clearly reactive on lead dog can walk past. Only for the other owner to try and put dog in the same position beside mine!
looking at you wirdo poox owner

"Oh look, he wants to play!" Err, no, she's scared and is trying to get away from your dog.

"Do you want to let him off so they can play? Do you not let him play?" Usually said after I've asked them to recall their dog as mine is scared.

People are fucking stupid and cannot read dog body language (or fulfil to basic requests).

Haha my boy hates spaniels too - well, the ones with helicopter tails - and I once had a couple with their (thankfully on lead) spaniel stop to ask me what breed mine was whilst he was going ape shit next to me (I was holding his harness so he couldn't do anything, and trying to walk on to get away). Clueless!

I was once walking along a fairly wide path with low walls at the side. Mine was near the wall so she could read the pee mails. A man was walking the other way with a little chihuahua type dog. He was walking ahead of it and when the dogs saw each other, the little dog put the brakes on and was clearly frightened. I stood in my dog's eyeline so she couldn't make eye contact with it and held the lead short to make sure she didn't approach and stroked her. This was largely done for the benefit to the little dog but when the man passed by, he said: "He won't hurt yours, you know."

On another occasion I did the same for a woman with a reactive greyhound. "You've got the same issues as me," she said. "Not too much" I said "but I thought your dog might struggle to pass". The thank you she gave me indicated that it was the first time that anyone had ever shown any consideration to her and her frightened dog.

”maybe you shouldn’t walk them outside if you don’t want them to play with the other dogs”

sure mate I’ll just buy a treadmill and keep him home?!

Oh oh oh so many!! The ‘don’t worry he’s friendly!’ is the most insane making one- but I do always say ‘lovely! Mine isn’t!’

I had an old lady the other day say I should let him ‘make friends’ with her (4!!) dogs off lead who were swarming us so much I actually had picked DDog up- her dogs were jumping up on me!! I explained he was rescued from a traveller site where he’d been bred to hunt all creatures great and small, and although he’s doing really really well- there’s a reason he wears a muzzle and gets kept away from other dogs. Her response…?! ‘A day with my dogs would sort him out’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪🤪

Pee mail! That's made my day...
I used to walk a 65kg Newfie who was a gentle giant but would literally bound over any dog who approached and if I couldn't hold her had absolutely no recall (not my dog, part of my job and I carefully chose where/when to walk) but often got idiots approaching us.. I would shout out please don't let your (Off the lead dog) come near..
One woman with 2 yapping poodles who surrounded us and started nipping and harassing both of us got very angry with me when my Ddog pulled so hard her lead was yanked out of my hands and Ddog had a lovely time running after, treading on, tumbling and basically having a whale of a time playing with new doggie friends totally unaware of her 65kg bulk. Her precious little dogs obviously distraught.
She was screaming and shouting.. get your dog! She was going to report us etc.
Luckily someone who knew us well and saw the whole incident and told her it was her fault as I'd told her quite loudly to please keep away..
I'm pleased to say no dogs were hurt during this incident...

Not just to other dogs. Some humans (me for one!) dont like dogs either.
If I back off, and ask you to recall your dog, "he's friendly" doesn't cut it. Just get your dog away from me. Especially if its barking too.

My dog is really nervous. Not mean to people just had a rough start

I'm amazed at how firm we've had to be to get people to back off her. People just can't read dogs at all

We've had all sorts of people trying to touch her, play with her etc when she's clearly giving fuck off vibes. We've had people reaching under benches to get to her, grabbing her collar etc

I hate to say it but the worst group tend to be the "my dog is nervous too group"

Once while explaining to a relative how tricky she was finding settling into home while making tea . Relative was sympathising about how people were idiots because her dog was similar, I turned round and the relative was trying to crawl into her crate!

No wonder people get bit

People just have zero awareness, we know she's not agressive but other people dont! She used to have a yellow lead, and at times we'd be doing the off the path, clearly working in a sit type thing, even at times muzzled (we were conditioning for emergencies) and people would be chatting away, dogs bouncing around and people didn't even notice what was happening

Oh god, this thread is bringing it all back...
A woman who told me that they were enjoying it when my on-lead, reactive terrier was reacting to her collie bouncing around her and scaring the life out of her.
And the man with the staffie who said we should put them in a garden together and let them sort it out.
Makes me feel sick thinking about it. It is so hard having a reactive dog. And so much harder for them.

My current one just needs managing and monitoring - as all dogs do - but I was once told that if a dog can't cope with another coming up to them to say a friendly hello, they shouldn't be in the park. The person is now training to be a dog trainer.

I also know a woman whose 5kg-ish poodle x had its leg broken by a rottie while they were playing. The dog has now healed but she still let's her run up to anyone and everyone. The rottie is mostly on-lead.

I took my mums Cocker out a few years ago when she first came home (she was a rescue, and should never have been sold to the family in question - I could write a whole thread about how much she suffered tbh, and probably run out of words). At the time she had a little vest that said 'not friendly, do not pat.' She also had a muzzle and short leash.

Cue small child, rushing across the path with it's arms outstretched yelling "pretty doggy." And when I moved to stand in front of the Cocker, the child tried to get past. I call for his parents. Parents yelled at me because 'He loves dogs and just wanted to say hi."

I think my response of, "well she doesn't like children since they're the reason she has no fucking tail," was not well received. Meanwhile, DCocker was snarling, snapping and trying to launch herself at the small child.

I've had similar issues with children around my own dogs (who are very friendly), and honestly the entitlement of people with children when their child wants to say 'hi' to a dog is insane. I'll never understand it.

People are also obsessed with dogs apologising

With our old dog we were out on a country lane walk, a muzzled dog came out of nowhere and clearly attacked, pinned etc my dog (who was on a lead). We had to repetively kick the dog away whilst it was muzzle punching ours.

The owner eventually appeared, apologised briefly. He then stood and spoke to us about random stuff, until we had to tell him to back off. Our dog was terrified, and his dog was held back by his collar barking like hell. He then forced his dog in a down, kept trying to convince us to let them sniff each other and then was trying to pull his dog to ours to so the clearly still angry dog could apologise.

We ended up telling him in no uncertain terms to fuck right off and give us space

He said it was alright because of the muzzle, ignoring the fact my dog had been repeatedly hit by the metal of it, and dogs dont really have a concept of understanding their attacker is muzzled. One day I expected that dog will get killed by a dog defending itself. I've no doubt without a muzzle it would have injured my dog to the point of pts, and dogs will retaliate.

I took my almost 5 month old Borde Terrier out yesterday who is still so tiny. He was on lead.

TWICE I had incidents of separate off lead, huge fucking dogs bounding over to say hello with their owners nonchalantly wandering behind them (one on his phone). The dogs were indeed friendly but they got right up into his space so he hid between my legs shaking.

Im finding dog walking, the etiquette and the way other owners behave very eye opening . Realising I’m going to have to get very, very assertive with people.

I just reel off the list of places my dog gets to be off lead (beach, gun dog training, dog day care twice a week, woods, moors on a long line when it’s not adder/nesting birds season etc) and finish off with “This is not one of our off lead places”.
If I had a pound for every bit of unwanted and stupid advice I’ve had over the years my dog would be wearing a diamond studded collar 🙄
We are on holiday this week in a very dog friendly place, but not overly touristy. We’ve met a lot of dogs and they are mainly proper working types. Without exception so far we have had no stupid advice, no dogs dancing around offlead annoying our dog and an “ah yes, that makes sense, good call” when asked why our dog was on a longline and we answered “because it’s a new environment for her so we don’t want to take any chances”. I’d like to move here for many reasons and sensible dog owners are at the top of that list!

I find it’s mostly idiotic men who offer unsolicited pearls of wisdom.

• Have definitely had the off lead one! Yeah or how about – since we’re walking on a residential street and/or my dog is on-lead, you show some etiquette and put your dog’s lead on while we pass. 🙄
• Another one is – you’re just making him scared/reactive by not letting him approach my dog
• Another – dogs just pick up on vibes, it’s your unspoken anxiety making him on edge

At least one of these was some absolute tool walking his (enormous) XL Bully off lead on a street where children play.

Not mine, but a friends reactive rescue.
Walking with my dog who was off lead, her dog was on lead even though we were in a quiet walking area (specifically because of the sogs reactivity) Her dog and my dog had been introduced slowly from when mine was a puppy, so we're used to each other, but as we knew we might come across other dogs, he was on lead.
Now, that should be CLUE NUMBER ONE to people that there is something about her rescue that means he is on lead, whether that's a reactive dog or an escape artist. We live in a rural, doggy area, so if a dogs on a lead in a space where it would normally be safe to be off lead, isn't it obvious that it's on a lead for a reason? I'm shocked at how many people don't seem to twig this.

On this particular walk, we spot a cockerpoo off lead about 50ft ahead, so we look for a spot where we can pull my friends dog off to the side and she can distract him. This is done in full sight of the owners while they were looking directly at us. The cockerpoo makes a beeline for the rescue.
At about 30ft, I say 'hi - he's a rescue and not friendly, so we'll keep him over here'. They say 'oh ours is very friendly!' And start attempting to recall their dog. The dog ignores them and speeds up. They do not.
Friend says 'you might want to get grab them (their dog) as he gets very upset'. They say 'okay' and continue to call the dog - who ignores. By this point the dog is within 10 ft and the rescue has started growling and is visibly distressed because the other dog is making eye contact and clearly heading their way. Rescue starts barking and I move forward with my arm outstretched towards their dog to grab its collar. Dog lunges at rescue away from me, rescue starts barking and lunging at their dog. I say 'can you grab them please?' While trying to grab their dog.
As they reach level with us on the path, they make a half hearted attempt to grab their dog and say 'if we keep moving he'll follow us'. Dog does not follow. I manage to grab their dog, put them on my lead, and lead him up the track to them.
Their response... 'he's not very friendly that one, is he?' About the rescue!!!
I think my response was 'no, we're lucky he didn't rip your dogs face off to be honest' which they laughed at!

My German shepherd is very nervous around other dogs and will be reactive. I keep her on a lead but there are always multiple dogs off lead bounding over to her out of nowhere with the owners nowhere to be seen for a few minutes. The amount of times I’ve had to walk in the opposite direction I’m wanting to go just to get us away from said dogs. If the owner is there and I ask them politely to recall their dog as mine is anxious they usually huff and puff like I’m massively inconveniencing their day

Its worth sussing out your local on lead walks to get the chance at controlled dog introductions where they can get used to saying hello and moving on. Things like the national trust, seafront, wildlife reserves, fancy parks and even town centers usually have some form of rules and while there's always idiots ignoring it, it's usually much more controlled

I was once mansplained that my dog 'needed to learn' to deal with some bloke's off-lead collies who kept coming up to him. When actually his dogs needed to learn to some fucking recall - or at least he needed to call them off. Mine actually would have been fine if he'd been off-lead, but he wasn't off-lead because he was in the middle of a sodding car park.

I was out with my two 4 month old puppies in a field. Obviously on a lead. A lurcher appeared out of nowhere and was snarling and barking and being aggressive. I’m an experienced dog owner but I felt scared. Bloke sauntered up to me shielding my pups and said it was my fault his dog was acting aggressive as his dog didn’t like other dogs on leads. Wonder if he would have said that if I had my DH with me.

Yep, have asked my partner if he gets random blokes offering ‘advice’, his response – of course not (as I suspected!)

Oh god, don’t get me started! And it’s so much worse since Covid I have found - just so many ignorant dog owners who have no real clue about dog behaviour or psychology. I have rescue dogs - all a bit damaged from their experiences, various degrees of nervousness, anxiety, etc. I always have them on lead in public and they are all doing great. Until… some twat with an untrained dog off-lead and no recall appears and starts giving ‘advice’. Drives me nuts, lol.

There is someone near me who has a dog who is borderline reactive (and who she seems to be making worse). When she's coming through a gate or up to a narrow point on the path and sees another dog approaching, she STOPS with her dog. In or by the gateway, right by the bottleneck in the path. And if you call her cheerfully through - 'I'll keep mine away while you come through!' - she scuttles past barely making eye contact. It's just really odd. We used to have a dog who for a long time hated meeting other dogs on-lead or in confined spaces and I'd get him well out of the way in such situations.

But usually when I keep my dogs back, or call them off the path and put them in a sit because someone has a dog on a lead, I get either, 'Thank you, he's a bit nervous!' or 'Oh, don't worry, she's fine, she's just on-lead because runs off!'

IME dogs have much better meet-and-greets off-lead. I did once find an academic paper which supported this - I could try and find it if anyone is interested.

I wouldn't walk a reactive dog without a yellow tag or slogan. It really helps to keep people at bay but they are not used enough. The more people use them, the more others will realise they need to keep a distance.