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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Reactive Dogs - Sh*t people say

62 replies

MargoylesofBeelzebub · 09/04/2025 16:23

A bit of a light hearted one - anyone with a reactive dog familiar with these phrases? The first was said to me yesterday as someone's off-lead dog came over and started barking at my boy, who was fine but let out a little growl to tell said dog to back off, I've been ruminating it since (it's been said before!) so thought I'd start a thread to see if there are other owners of reactive dogs out there who get weird things said to them.

FWIW my dog is reactive in very specific circumstances, but I always err on the side of caution and hold him close when we're going past dogs, which is usually when these things get said! We're also working on his reactiveness and have employed a one-to-one trainer, which has massively helped, but it's a long process!

"If he was off lead, it would have been OK!" - Er, no.
(As I'm holding him closer using the handle of his harness) - "Aww don't worry, my (tiny dog) is friendly!" - yes, but my large dog isn't 😂

OP posts:

Picklingwalnuts · 12/04/2025 13:58

Ecci · 12/04/2025 12:46

We've had a reactive dog for 11 years. Fear aggressive to other dogs but fine with people. So many people have tried to give us stupid 'advice' and I've had a lot of shouting matches with idiots. Perhaps I'm a bit aggressive too.

The worst ones are those who believe all dogs love each other. They are amazed when I say to them ' How would you feel if I came up to you and started rummaging around in your nethers?'. Usual response is ' but my dog is friendly'. Well, mine fucking isn't and if your dog gets too close it will be attacked.

Having said that, she's never actually physically hurt another dog. Once time, we were out, her lead broke and she chased another dog and pinned it down, but no bites.

For those of you who may not know, there is a really good Facebook group called Reactive Dogs UK. Lots of support and advice on there.

I'm a member of that FB group and I also pay monthly to be a member of their gold group. The behaviourist on there have been so very helpful.

Absolutely45 · 12/04/2025 14:03

FirstSheIsWise · 09/04/2025 23:31

"Oh look, he wants to play!" Err, no, she's scared and is trying to get away from your dog.

"Do you want to let him off so they can play? Do you not let him play?" Usually said after I've asked them to recall their dog as mine is scared.

People are fucking stupid and cannot read dog body language (or fulfil to basic requests).

Many people shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a dog, they've not got a fucking clue.

tabulahrasa · 13/04/2025 11:45

Kreisler · 11/04/2025 22:17

Does "reactive" mean "aggressive"?

They can be… but no, it’s not a straight swap.

It’s basically dogs with big feelings about stuff 😂

Technically both my dogs are reactive (they’re both rescues) but one it’s more the over excitable kind and the other it’s fear.

The excitable one, it’s more that he just gets a bit barky and finds it hard to calm down in certain situations - he causes no issues to anyone else, just him and us and even then it’s not a huge issue, just something that’s not ideal so we’re working on it.

The second does his fear does tip over into aggression so he’s very carefully managed, he doesn’t meet strangers, he’s muzzle trained for some situations and we’re very careful about where he walks, where he’s allowed off lead and what dogs he gets to interact with.

So while they are both reactive it’s two very different things.

NoisySwan · 13/04/2025 11:49

LordBummenbachsMagnificentBalls · 10/04/2025 08:09

”maybe you shouldn’t walk them outside if you don’t want them to play with the other dogs”

sure mate I’ll just buy a treadmill and keep him home?!

Haha - the things people come up with!

RunningJo · 13/04/2025 17:53

Oh, the ‘don’t worry, mine is friendly’ brigade drive me insane!
If your dog has crap recall, either train him, keep him on a lead or use a long line.
One of my dogs isn’t keen on other dogs, he growls and barks - soooo many times I get, “ oh he just wants to play”.
He absolutely does not want to play, he wants to be left alone to enjoy his walk without your fluffball sniffing his arse and jumping all around him. Despite my dog showing all the signs of not wanting to be approached, they seem to think I don’t know my dog at all, and all he needs is another dog (theirs) to play with him to cure him.

BarnacleBeasley · 14/04/2025 09:23

@EdithStourton I said I knew I was being unreasonable when I first brought up off-lead dogs around the village - but it sounds like you are definitely not the kind of dog-owner I meant anyway as you mention 'tracks' and you notice nervous dogs. I too would let my dog off-lead on tracks and footpaths, and pop his lead back on if I saw another on-lead dog. What I meant was off-lead dogs on the pavements walking around the actual streets. Most dogs need to be on-lead there, and many of them find off-lead dogs scary. Totally not the owners' problem, it's my problem, but it is still slightly irritating to have to cross the road to avoid them, change the direction of my walk etc. and they are mostly either totally oblivious (because I've pre-emptively removed my dog to a safe distance) or they notice my dog being reactive but seem to have no idea that it's because of their dog being off-lead.

EdithStourton · 14/04/2025 14:36

I understand completely, @BarnacleBeasley

Allelbowsandtoes · 16/04/2025 17:40

hereismydog · 11/04/2025 17:40

When I politely decline for a stranger to stroke my dog and they reply with “oh it’s fine, dogs love me.”

Not mine! He was beaten by a man when he was a puppy, so unfortunately, Male Stranger, he is not going to ‘love you’ because he is absolutely petrified of you.

So annoying.

On a similar theme, my mum keeps telling me that my dog will love her dog when they meet because apparently all girl dogs love her dog because he's so gentle.

I've tried to explain that he could be the gentlest dog in the world but she'll still resource guard me if he comes near us.

So annoying when people think they know your dog better than you do.

Original poster

MargoylesofBeelzebub · 17/04/2025 12:10

Blimey this thread has grown since I last came on here!

Agree about the months of training undone because of idiot owners not controlling their dogs. My dog is generally fine with other dogs (not squizzy spaniels though) but I work hard on judging his body language and avoiding them as necessary. But sometimes he's nice and relaxed and then the off lead, out of control dog bounds over and my dog is taken by surprise. This happened yesterday with TWO large breed dogs running over to him (owner shouting 'Mine are really friendly, don't worry!' 🙄). Thankfully my dog handled it really well (got well praised for being so calm given the situation) but it could so easily have gone the other way, grr!

OP posts:

Dozycuntlaters · 17/04/2025 14:18

I had someone tell me to let my girl off and it would be ok because his dog wouldn't retaliate if she growled at him. No mate, if she doesn't like your dog she wouldn't just growl, she would go for him. Why would anyone want to put their dog, or my dog through that. Utter madness. I am absolutely fine with her being on a lead, it's other dog walkers that seem to think I am being mean.

PresidentBarklett · 02/08/2025 18:42

"Train your dog, don't let it bark," after my reactive dachshund barked at a lab on the other side of the road today. The expert commenting wasn't even the owner of the other dog, just some guy walking past without a dog of his own. And it wasn't advice, it was scathing and judgemental in tone.

I could have said I am training her and it's a long process. I could have said that she's improved immeasurably in the last few months. I could have explained that, for some reactive dogs, training can help but can never entirely eliminate the issues. I have no idea if this man even owns dogs, or if he owns a super easy dog or what.

In the end I just said, "well that was a bit rude and uncalled for but, ok, thanks for your input random man!". He actually had the gall to look surprised I'd responded.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 02/08/2025 22:22

EdithStourton · 10/04/2025 21:45

There is someone near me who has a dog who is borderline reactive (and who she seems to be making worse). When she's coming through a gate or up to a narrow point on the path and sees another dog approaching, she STOPS with her dog. In or by the gateway, right by the bottleneck in the path. And if you call her cheerfully through - 'I'll keep mine away while you come through!' - she scuttles past barely making eye contact. It's just really odd. We used to have a dog who for a long time hated meeting other dogs on-lead or in confined spaces and I'd get him well out of the way in such situations.

But usually when I keep my dogs back, or call them off the path and put them in a sit because someone has a dog on a lead, I get either, 'Thank you, he's a bit nervous!' or 'Oh, don't worry, she's fine, she's just on-lead because runs off!'

IME dogs have much better meet-and-greets off-lead. I did once find an academic paper which supported this - I could try and find it if anyone is interested.

I used to think that too, about them being more comfortable off lead for meeting. But I don't let my 7.5kg dog meet new and strange dogs off lead.

I don't know the owner or the dog and allowing an off lead meet is too much trust to place in a total and utter unknown.

If my cautious dog bolts and the dog chases and it turns out to be nasty.... they're ages away and I won't get there quick enough.

I want her on a lead by me, where I can intervene if someone's dog turns out to be unkind to her.

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