How to say goodbye

[FluffyMcFlufferson]

Trigger warning pet euthanasia

Hi I could really do with advice /experience on dealing with how to let DS6 know our dog will be going to heaven and also how to help him say goodbye on the day.

it’s a few weeks away yet but getting stressed on how do deal with this, he absolutely will not be coming to the vets but do we tell him the morning of the day so he has most of the day with her or would a few hours warning be better?
if anyone has experienced this recently could share their experience on what they did I would be very grateful.

@PenguinChopsI really don’t think I could, not because of the expense but because it would just be a really sad last experience of her at home. She doesn’t howl or whine at the vets, is just very keen to leave!

This was taken on her 16th birthday back in November

It was very quick for our dog. The longest bit was the insertion of the catheter which was difficult as her veins had collapsed. Once the drug was administered she was gone in a few short moments and it was just like she had drifted off to sleep. We were very fortunate in that our dog absolutely loved the vets and was always so happy to be there but I think if she hadn't I would have really considered having the vet come and do it at home

She is absolutely gorgeous 🥰

When our kids were little and our old dog was put down, we kept it pretty straightforward and didn’t make a big deal out of it. They could see she was becoming increasingly decrepit and we spoke about her reaching the end of her life.

On the day, we didn’t tell them it was about to happen, but left it until afterwards. My husband took her to the vets and they were unaware. I didn’t want a goodbye as that would have been distressing to them. We didn’t say anything about heaven or bridges or whatever. They cried a bit when we told them, but accepted it well.

They still absolutely love this book, which sums up losing an old dog and getting a new one perfectly.

Oh your doggie is beautiful. It's so hard when they get old and we need to make that decision.
As your DS has said already about your doggo going to see great-granddad (apologies if I've got this wrong), I would say that DDog is going to the vets as she is very old and needs to go to be with him, and the vet is going to help.
When our DDog was at the end of his life, while we were saying bye to him before the vet came back in to do the injection, I could sense my grandparents, and other relatives who had already died but who knew DDog, being near. I'm convinced that they came to meet him. He slipped away very calmly and without any fuss, and it was a lovely way for him to go, snuggled into us. I hope your doggie has similar when it's her time.

@PrettayGoodthank you for sharing your experience, have definitely changed my mind about the saying goodbye, will say we are taking her to the vet (appointment is at 5pm) will get my parents to put him to bed none the wiser and we will tell him in the morning. I would have preferred an earlier appointment because waiting all day will be tormenting but that’s the time they can do. Have just ordered that book too thank you! Did you read it with them before ddog was pts or just after?

@Justkeepingplatesspinningthank you, she has been the best dog we could have wished for, not a bad bone in her body honestly. Yes you are right about him asking if she will be with his great grandad in heaven.

thank you for sharing you experience and sorry you have had to go through that too, how lovely you could sense your relatives in the room though, I truly hope we get the same and it being calm how you describe.

I think the book was a coincidence, tbh. But it really is wonderful. Be warned - it will make you cry. Happy tears though.

noted thank you

@FluffyMcFlufferson thank you. It's the day you dread for many years, it really is.

I have just had my lovely dog pts today, no young children here but my two adult kids, but I remember telling them about our old cat who had to be pts when they were at school. We sat in a covered kids seating area and I told them how she was very old and she kept having fits and that their dad had taken her to the vets. I can't remember what I told them as it was a long time ago, and I know I got upset telling them. But they seemed to understand. I just wanted them to know why she wouldn't be at home when they got back.

As has been said, it was very quick with my dog today. We had someone come to the house, a registered vet nurse, and she was amazing. My dog hated going to the vets, would shake so much, and she didn't have any fear with this lady, even in our house. I was doubly sure we were doing right by here just by her reaction of this stranger in her home.
She was given the sedative which knocked her out within a few minutes, and then when she wasn't reacting to having her paws touched or anything else, she was given the final injection into her heart. She went really peacefully. I am missing her something rotten and can't believe she has only been gone 5 hours already 💔

@longtompoti’m so sorry for your loss, it must have made it that tiny bit easier having her so comfortable at home when it happened. Thank you for sharing your experience it’s good to know everyone has said it’s very quick and peaceful.
i hope in time it gets easier for you x

My parents found a vet who came to the house when their elderly ddog was pts. There are lots of people who do this now. And if the ddog
doesn't like the vet, that may be something to consider? My parents said it was very peaceful and a good death for their ddog. She was on my dad’s lap.

@fufulina this is a very good point. If your doggo gets stressed going to the vet, that will add to the awfulness of that final visit. We are fortunate in that ours love going to the vet. Otherwise having them go at home would be the preferred option. Why have the last time with them one where dog is stressed and unhappy?

@fufulina@JustkeepingplatesspinningI spoke to OH about having someone come to the house and he said he wouldn’t want her PTS here, it would just be a sad reminder whenever he walked in the room it happened in. She doesn’t hate the vets, she just gets extra energy in there and is keen to leave but doesn’t shake or anything like that. I appreciate the suggestion though thank you.

Our vet also let us leave via the back door.. Red eyes and snot isn't a good recommendation for waiting clients....
We lost a ddog 5 years ago so knew from then we didn't pay on the day...
We used the vet cremation service.. Used an independent one this time. Same cost. About £400 for pts and cremation.... All in..

@Eggsboxedandmeltingour appointment is at 5pm and they close at 5.30pm so I’m guessing that’s why they gave us that time so we don’t have to walk through a waiting room full of people balling our eyes out.
have been quoted £260 for the individual cremation, not sure on the vets cost but it is what it is I suppose. Will be the last thing on my mind that day.

I am ringing the vet tomorrow to have our beloved dog PTS tomorrow hopefully. He’s got a lung tumour and has had a good 6 months since his diagnosis but the last couple of days he looks miserable and can’t relax. I know it’s the right thing to do but god, it’s so hard. Crying just thinking about it. DH and adult kids agree though probably would wait longer but I can’t do it to him a day longer than necessary. It’s the last kind thing we can do. I just want it over and done with now 😢Condolences to you all

@Tiggy321 my heart absolutely goes out to you having just done this last Friday. I have cried over it for weeks before it happened as we tried so hard to make her better but she was just fading and I knew she wasn't going to be with me for much longer. I am so unbearably sad, we all are, but honestly? The relief once she had gone that she was no longer unhappy and uncomfortable (I know she wasn't in pain due to medication) and just not her. But my god I want her back so much💔

Thank you! He died yesterday just as we arrived at the vets. All very quick and finally he looked peaceful. Just wish we had taken him 24 hrs earlier but it was a Sunday and our lovely vet who knew him wasn’t available. House feels very empty and quiet without him but I do feel utter relief he’s not suffering anymore and all the family got to say goodbye. He was the best dog ever ❤️❤️

@Tiggy321 so sorry for your loss. Sending you strength and peace at this difficult time.
Fluffy Mcflufferson is booked in for 2nd May, I said to OH it should really be sooner but he wants to spend as much time with her as possible. You definitely did the right thing giving her peace and comfort

@PrettayGood the book arrived today, it’s a brilliant way of explaining it in a child friendly way but my god what a tear jerker!

I’m so sorry for your loss, even though it’s in the future.

we had my cat put to sleep about a year ago. I still get a lump in my throat when I think of him. We told our daughter (six at the time) that he had gone to heaven with granny X. She was gutted. She cried a lot and was very quiet and we had cuddles and a conversation about big feelings and grief. and then 15 minutes later she asked to watch the Taylor Swift film!! Children are very resilient and she will sometimes get sad and ask if the cat is coming back, but we remind her he’s in heaven. We have a lovely image in our heads of the cat and granny in heaven, granny is knitting watching strictly in front of the fire with the cat curled up at her feet.

Emotions are normal and it’s normal to feel them. Taking it in a matter of fact way won’t help anyone.

@mummytoonetryingfortwothank you for sharing your experience, so sorry for your loss.
did you tell your daughter anything prior to it happening? Or just after dcat went to heaven?
will definitely be telling him ddog will be with his great grandad just still so undecided on saying anything before it happens or just after.