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The doghouse

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Original poster

To ask if you would judge someone for getting a puppy this soon after their dog died?

54 replies

dotheroarr · 03/03/2025 17:13

My beloved, sweet sweet dog died last week. I knew she was unwell for around 6 weeks before she died and I tried everything I possibly could. The past 6 weeks were incredibly difficult, I feel like I grieved her whilst she was still alive. I'm not sure if it's because of that, or because I know I did everything I could to try and save her, or because maybe I'm somehow suppressing everything but I feel this soft sense of peace about it. I miss her and love her desperately, but I feel peace that she is no longer unwell and isn't suffering. I'm no longer on edge watching her for signs she's deteriorating or waiting for calls from the vets with updates (when she was hospitalised).

I feel ready to get another puppy, to have something new and joyful in my life, something to focus on. My pup was my first and only pet, and I feel like it's a testament to how much she added to my life that I am finding it so lonely without her. I remember the puppy blues well, and would get a different breed and probably a boy to make an obvious distinction between her and the new puppy.

I'm worried people will judge me for it being too soon. Is it too soon? Is it disrespectful to her and her memory, is it callous?

OP posts:
Titasaducksarse · 03/03/2025 18:49

My inlaws were looking for a new pup the next day after their dog died very unexpectedly. I found it crass.

Dillydollydingdong · 03/03/2025 18:51

It's a compliment to her that you loved her and miss her so much that you need that space filled.

Gettingbysomehow · 03/03/2025 19:38

No judgement here. When DCat died age 21 I was distraught. I got another cat straight away because I couldn't stand the awful emptiness of the house without DCat in it. The new cat wasn't a replacement but I wasn't alone any more.

tsmainsqueeze · 03/03/2025 20:01

Absolutely i would never judge , i am a veterinary nurse and i know my colleagues would all agree with me.
Actually it is one of the nicest things in my job when a lovely client walks through the door holding a gorgeous new pup in their arms after the absolute heartbreak of losing their old precious friend.
You will never forget your old dog but life is better with a dog in it so get your new pup and enjoy it !

3rdtimeinflorida · 03/03/2025 21:01

I know you will feel guilty, as did I, but you have to do what’s right for you. Why deny yourself the happiness and joy that having a dog brings and a little puppy the chance of a loving home.

littlejo67 · 03/03/2025 21:06

I think it's a lovely thing to do in remembrance of your old dog that died. Your relationship with them was so special that you want to give that to another dog. That's your old dog's legacy ❤️

JPduck · 03/03/2025 21:10

Everyone is different and so what feels right for you wont be right for the next person.

We lost our dog 3 years ago, my DH would have had another dog vvv soon after however I'm still not ready so we havent.

Do what is right for you💐

Branleuse · 03/03/2025 21:12

Not at all. I think its the only thing that helps!

embolass · 03/03/2025 21:15

Absolutely not!!!! Puppies bring joy and you deserve that in your life again. So sad when our older ones leave us but you gave your old girl a great life and cared for her right till the end. Another dog deserves that too as do you x

Flippertygibbets · 03/03/2025 21:18

Absolutely not. I got a new dog 3 weeks after the loss of my beloved, adored boy of 11 years. I knew he didn’t have long for months, I grieved him hard and yet still it was the right thing to do.

I got a different type/sex, which helped I think. I mean I didn’t know what had hit me after having a well behaved, reliable lab - I got a pointer. That particular part of the decision must have been grief 😉 That’s such an inadvisable leap there were no comparisons to be made. However, by a couple of weeks after losing my boy I was a dog owner without a dog and that felt just… pointless.

I adore the new dog. I still hold the old one, the first, in my heart. You do what’s right for you OP .

Ohapal · 03/03/2025 21:21

I certainly wouldn't judge you.

tabulahrasa · 03/03/2025 21:27

I would - but not for the reasons you’re thinking

I’d be fairly judgemental about where you’d manage to get a puppy from in a short period of time, because it’s very unlikely to be from somewhere good.

lunar1 · 03/03/2025 21:35

I had my rescue cat for 19 years when I lost her, about two weeks later I rescued two male cats who needed a family. It was soon, but why leave animals waiting in a shelter when there was space in my home for them.

If I'd waited till I was really ready I'd never have another pet, two years later and I still have tears for her, I probably always will, I'll never regret rescuing these boys though.

stonkytonk11 · 03/03/2025 21:40

Honestly? I think it shows just how much you care about being a brilliant dog owner and like others said it also shows that you have lots of love to give. Lucky pup, hope he/she brings you lots of happiness

Doingmybestbut · 03/03/2025 21:56

We got a puppy quite soon after our beloved family dog died. If I’m honest it was a rebound move and we should have taken more time to find the dog that was a better fit for our family. Also I never loved the second dog the way I loved the first and it didn’t take the pain of the loss away.

I don’t think people will judge you but just take your time over the decision.

BillieJ · 03/03/2025 22:01

We went a couple of years between dogs last time, but this summer, I was looking for a puppy next day. I had said, no more dogs, but my husband was in pieces and it seemed sensible to get another at the beginning of the summer holidays, so we would all be around for training and socialising in good weather.

stayathomer · 04/03/2025 05:57

No, not at all x sorry about your dog and lovely you’re about to help out a pup with a lovely home x

itstrue · 04/03/2025 06:17

We were so so sad after losing our old girl. 6 days later we picked up our new puppy that just happened to be available - I thought that we would be on a waiting list for a year! You can't replace but making new memories helps.

spiderlight · 04/03/2025 12:44

I wouldn't judge you. We adopted our current dog just over three weeks after our previous dog died. He'd been ill off and on for over a year but had always bounced back, but his last illness was sudden and very traumatic and I was in absolute pieces after he died. I WFH and he had been my little sidekick and companion. Suddenly finding myself home alone for 11-12 hours a day while DS and Dh were at college/work was horrendous. I couldn't function through the grief and was spending entire days curled up on a ball with his blanket. Friends convinced me to think about adopting another (we always have rescues), and the perfect girl came up at a rescue my friend supports, about a month sooner than was ideal. We went to meet her and she came straight home with us (after a video homecheck and a reference from a friend who'd known me for decades). I do feel guilty about it, but she needed us and I needed her.

Empress13 · 17/03/2025 23:27

No judgement from me. Everybody grieves differently you do what is best for you . Sorry for your loss

MaybeItWasMe · 17/03/2025 23:29

Love breeds love. This is the same as people who are bereaved after a very happy marriage finding a new partner. Go for it! Post photos when you do!

cleowasmycat · 17/03/2025 23:38

Absolutely not. I lost my gorgeous pug last week and I’m looking. The house feels lonely.

Tbrh · 17/03/2025 23:49

Not at all. My only concern is that you sound like you need something to bring you joy/fill a void and if there is some underlying issue that needs addressing. Sorry for your loss.

sweetkitty · 17/03/2025 23:57

I won’t judge you either it’s such a personal decision and I’m saying this as a person whose DDog died last June and I haven’t gotten another pup yet.

we got the news she had an inoperable tumour in the Sept and she lasted until June bless her, my heart is broken, I adore her breed but o don’t even think I can get another one who looks like her either

DiscoBeat · 18/03/2025 00:39

I absolutely understand, we lost our lovely dog suddenly due to an undiagnosed tumour and we were going to wait but I just couldn't, there was such a big hole and we all really benefitted from having the distraction of a puppy. I couldn't have got the same breed though. It's not a replacement! But if it helps you could get a rescue - knowing that you gave them a home would hopefully help. I'm sorry about your lovely dog, they give us so much love.