To ask if you would judge someone for getting a puppy this soon after their dog died?

[dotheroarr]

My beloved, sweet sweet dog died last week. I knew she was unwell for around 6 weeks before she died and I tried everything I possibly could. The past 6 weeks were incredibly difficult, I feel like I grieved her whilst she was still alive. I'm not sure if it's because of that, or because I know I did everything I could to try and save her, or because maybe I'm somehow suppressing everything but I feel this soft sense of peace about it. I miss her and love her desperately, but I feel peace that she is no longer unwell and isn't suffering. I'm no longer on edge watching her for signs she's deteriorating or waiting for calls from the vets with updates (when she was hospitalised).

I feel ready to get another puppy, to have something new and joyful in my life, something to focus on. My pup was my first and only pet, and I feel like it's a testament to how much she added to my life that I am finding it so lonely without her. I remember the puppy blues well, and would get a different breed and probably a boy to make an obvious distinction between her and the new puppy.

I'm worried people will judge me for it being too soon. Is it too soon? Is it disrespectful to her and her memory, is it callous?

Nope. Not at all. We've had many pets die, and though once we waited six months, another time it was the next week. You need to go with what feels right.

Who cares what they think? In all kindness it’s not about them… often love breeds love. So the fact you loved your dog so much means you’ve got that love to give now she’s no longer with you. Go get your puppy.

Never.

How someone deals with grief is nobody's business but their own.

My condolences.

I wouldn't judge you. How you feel can vary, when our first dog died, it took me a while to be ready to get another but when my second did I wanted another asap (as I missed having a dog so much).

No! My neighbour hot a puppy 2 weeks after their elderly dog died. Never crossed my mind to judge.

Of course not! It would be nuts to judge someone for getting a new pet when they've lost a much-loved one. It's normal and perfectly appropriate, you don't have to observe a mourning period before getting a puppy - one pet doesn't really replace another anyway, they are all so different.

No, and who cares anyway! I've had a five year gap between some pets and only a few months between others. It just depends how you feel. Nobody else's business. Sorry for your loss.

Our one-year old died in a freak accident. We all adored her. But another puppy, a half sister of hers, became available within five days and we bought her. It didn’t stop us feeling desperately sad about the first pup but we could feel happy with the new one at the same time.

There’s barely a day I don’t think about the one who died fourteen and a half years on. But I’m glad for the joy the second one brought to us.

I wouldn't judge you harshly at all, I think it's understandable that you want to fill the gap that was left when you lost your dog.
I'm more of a cat person, but when my beloved old boy died I was very upset and several people said I should get a mischievous little kitten. I did and it helped a lot to have this cheeky little kitten to look after.

The only person judging you would be yourself.
You'd feel disloyal.
I did at least.
But there's no logic to it and it doesn't benefit your dearly departed dog or provide a home for another dog.
So, no I wouldn't judge you, but I do understand why you ask.

Do what works for you. We were told ddog had two weeks to live in October. He’s still here and on chemo doing brilliantly. But we know he won’t get much more than a year if we’re lucky. He’s 4.5 years old. The thought of a house without a dog was awful. I cried so many tears and he’s not even gone yet. At Christmas we were told he was in remission and we can see he’s well with good energy levels. Everything fell into place and we, with very little planning of about 2 days, picked up our little girl. The two have bonded beautifully and it was the best decision for him and us. I know one friend judged me, criticised me to another friend but she’s now seen them together and apologised. It has changed how I see her but I know it was the right decision for us. Follow your gut and do what’s right for you.

Not at all. We got a puppy within 6 weeks of losing our old dog. It worked for us as a family from a timing perspective. We recently lost the puppy (aged 14 by this point). This time round, I am very much not ready to get a new dog and not sure if I ever will.

Not at all. We always have at least two dogs, in part to avoid the nasty gap between dog and dog.

it's absolutely fine it's really is okay, it is not the same as having a new relationship a few weeks after your partner dies, now that I would judge

No of course not. I think most people wouldn't care and wouldn't have any thoughts about it at all, and if they did, most would understand that it's something you need to do. As long as you're providing a good home and good care for the dog, which of course you will be, it can only be a positive thing.

Never in a million years. It’s so personal.

One one of mine died I knew on the same day I’d get another as u couldn’t bear to be without one.

Some time later that one passed and it took me a year to be ready for another.

Its different each time for every person.

Not even a little bit. That said, we got our pup 4 months after our dog died and honestly, I think it was a bit soon. It was very hard not to compare the two – which was unfair because he was a beautifully trained adult dog and she’s a puppy! – and we both found it quite triggering of our grief for our boy at times. So I absolutely wouldn’t judge you at all, but I would check in with you a bit more.

No! In fact I sensitively suggest it’s the best balm to get another asap.

We remember our beloved old dog every day, our hearts were broken when he died - but we went and reserved a puppy about 4 weeks later. And those 4 weeks were miserable without a dog in the house. Our puppy put us back together.

No judgement here. When my elderly dog goes to Rainbow Bridge, I shall be at the dog sanctuary within days. When my first dog died, it took me a year to get another one, and tbh it prolonged the grief.

Condolences on your loss, and enjoy your new pup.

I got my second dog exactly two weeks after my beloved first died. Do what feels right to you. Sorry for your loss x

@Earlyattheairport nails it with the first reply, @dotheroarr.

I am sorry for the loss of your beloved dog.

Nobody should judge this! Sorry for your loss, enjoy your new puppy x

Not at all. When one of my cats died - the first cat I'd ever had - I got another cat three days later, of the same sex and colour, to fill the hole she had left. I was lucky that 'the right cat' was in our local rescue. When my second cat died, I waited three months. I don't have another dog after ours died five years ago, more for practical reasons than anything else. There is no rule, you must do what feels right.

I got a new puppy the week after my beloved dog died - it was in no way replacing her but I just felt desperate for something to ease the horrendous pain of losing my girl and this puppy was in need of a home and I can't explain it - it just "felt right" - said puppy is now a very much adored, bossy little madam (Border Collie - BC's can and do have very strong personalities) and never for even a second have I regretted getting her. in fact, she helped me a lot with my grief.
If it feels right, then sod what anyone else thinks - so long as you can love that puppy and feel strong enough to train it properly and love it for its own personality traits without seeing them as a replacement, then it's right.

I would never judge someone for how quickly they got a new dog

But, what I would say, is that good breeders don’t have puppies readily available. So you likely need to either accept a puppy farmed pet - and the guilt that will come with it - or a pet that is liable to be unhealthy from parents with no health tests. Be careful.

I’m really sorry for your loss. Your dog sounds like she was very much loved.