Inexperienced - what dog? For therapy - autism

[sageGreen81]

My youngest child has Autism, a PDA profile and we are on the waiting list for ADHD (likely to be diagnosed according to the Doctor who did her ASD assessment).

We are considering a dog but we are inexperienced. We live in a semi rural location but don't have a big garden. I would be free to take the dog on two walks a day. I also work from home in the main.

Any suggestions?

Myself and my sons are diagnosed autistic
We have 2 dogs
The noise of the claws on the floor drive us mad ,the hair shedding and dog smells send us loopy
The barking at every little noise is horrendous and goes through my brain
The having to walk them is a demand too much so my husband has to do it
The mud they bring in from the garden drives me mad when I am forever cleaning
The smell of the wet dog food is vile
The neediness of them following us around is ok if we are not stressed already,but when you need to try to calm yourself down and your at the end of your tether ,but the dog still needs feeding/wiping /walking, cleaning up after ..
It's an added pressure towards burnout on me and as mum I struggle,
boys just go to their bedrooms ,but as mum they are my responsibility and I can't .
Dogs were here before we all got diagnosed

They are part of the family so here to stay .
But none of us with a diagnosis of autism ever want a dog again .

We're with Adolescent Dogs. Our lab is 18 months old now. She's ready in terms of assessments to pass her gold award, which is one step away from Public Access, but she's very people driven so I want her to mature a bit and be a little more neutral with people before we submit the award videos.

Adolescent Dogs is great. The support within the AD community is brilliant and the weekly Q&As on Zoom are so helpful. We have Assistance Dog workshops each month in Guildford. I'm lucky enough to be about an hour away, so I can just drive in, but some people travel for hours or book hotels and stay overnight

Don't! Only get a dog if it's for the whole family, not one person. You have no idea what personality it will have, if you get a puppy. I got a Cavalier, which is a breed often said to be good for therapy, but mine is high-energy, crazy and whiney. He would be beyond awful as a therapy dog. As a pet dog, he is difficult!

Hi
six weeks ago we picked up a Labrador puppy to help our 11 year old autistic son.
we also thought not a rescue because we where worried about DS having to cope with premature death.
I wish we had got a rescue now, it has been incredibly difficult juggling my DS all his extra curricular activities and a puppy. Even if you get a 3 year old lab the chances are the dog will still live another 10 years.
Our puppy is very sweet but it’s completely turned our life upside down. For the first 3/4 weeks we were setting a timer for 20 mins and taking her out for a wee.
She also does a lot of nipping and requires 24/7 surveillance when she is awake.
My DS absolutely adores her but 98% of the hard work has fallen on me.
I would think very carefully before getting a puppy with a ND child it has been really hard work and if I could turn back the clock I never would have done it.

Generally puppies are not ‘service dogs’ usually they are trained with foster carers until 1 year or over and then go into whatever training - guide/assistance etc. I have an asd child also adhd and pda and we had an amazing golden retriever - had before he was born he was supposed to be a guide dog but failed and we kept him, we had fostered him for 2 months as his initial family had a cancer diagnosis. He was such a lovely soft boy but terrified of traffic. He made a wonderful companion for all my boys but all pics I have of him are with my youngest who really bonded with him.

Difference is he was a bred service dog, so soft gentle and clever there’s no way I would try to train a puppy to do the same now, my son is full on and puppies are hard work never mind training one as a service animal with no experience of how to go about it. (My sister actually is a guide dog trainer and still I wouldn’t attempt this!) go via an approved charity, you need an animal bred for this job.

How does the autism present? I’ve probably not phrased that very well, but what are you looking for the dog to do?

I recently lost my Lab. He was not a trained therapy dog (his mum was). When a family member was sick the hospital consultant asked me to bring my Lab in. He loved any kind of attention, not worried by noise or touch.
He adored children and adults, everyone and everything! (aside from cats and foxes).

Puppies bite a lot and will draw blood, they aren’t called land sharks for nothing. They require training, you can’t over exercise them, they aren’t cheap. But they’re worth it in my opinion.

A lab

A lot of this may affect us. My DH has OCD. I have adhd and my DD who I'm seeking the dog for is ASD, PDA waiting on ADHD diagnosis but it's highly likely looking at our history.

She's super sensitive to smell, like beyond sensitive.

I think yes it might be hard work for us all and our over sensitive natures. I'm glad I asked.

A highly anxious and sensitive child,
Prone to tantrums over small things, a big role player, chaotic room, lots of toys, struggles to sleep. can be very shy, selective mutism too. Slight tic. Gosh the list goes on!

Oh and demand avoidant!!!! Very sensitive to tone/pitch of voices

Honestly, with that description, at what point do you think your puppy will be able to sleep in your Daughter's room of an evening? Puppies need such close supervision and labradors eat pretty much everything and anything.

If your DD is highly anxious and sensitive, I would be wary about introducing a rude, demanding, bitey puppy.

The anxiety and sensitivity generally comes because of the PDA, she would not see a puppy as a threat to her. So there would be none of this 'equalising' behaviour around a dog, it's hard to describe unless you have the experience of it. The dog would make her feel less anxious, she just needs someone around her.

Have you considered a guide dog that didn’t pass the guide dog training?

I echo the others in that having a puppy is hard work. A dog isn’t just a furry toy that is alive, it’s another being with its own wants, desires, quirks etc, ie. another responsibility. Do you realistically have the time and the head space to deal with this, the training, the 24 hour care of a puppy etc.

We do have dogs in the family. Although perhaps they've made it look easy and of course we didn't see the hard side of having a puppy.

A rejected guide dog sounds like a good thing?! I don't know how to go about getting one. I spoke to DH and he agrees an older dog is probably best.

I'm not saying a dog isn't a good idea in general. Having a dog has quite literally been life-saving for DD2, and now we've got another puppy for DD3. Both have ASD. I'm just saying that you have to go in with eyes open.

Puppies really are a blank canvas, so you have to teach them everything you want them to know. Our second puppy is also a Labrador, but she's completely different to our first, so we're having to prioritise different things and train differently.

It’s one of my autistic DC special interest to get a dog and the constant begging drives me crazy and makes me feel guilty. The cost upfront is 10K for a trained therapy dog through one of the charities mentioned here and now I see the insurance can go to £200 a month.. wow. .i didn’t even think of that cost. How on earth is anyone funding these dogs? My child’s PDA is such that they only want their specific dog breed and to train up the puppy themselves. With no prior dog experience. I can’t bear the additional responsibility and have no dog experience myself so it’s a complete no no. Plus the usual lifespan of DC active interest in a pet once it’s in the home is very short. So I know I would have to look after it completely.

That said once DC is of an age to practice being out and about in the community alone, I like the idea of a dog that could accompany and motivate DC for leaving the house. But maybe even that motivation wouldn’t happen in reality. It’s a big source of stress. I find it hard to understand how the concept practically works unless the dog is really for the adult carer to enjoy and if that brings them joy then that’s great I totally get that.

Has your daughter had any tantrums around the family dogs? I'd worry how a dog might react around screaming and shouting. My nephew does that and my dog is very nervous of him , to the point I keep her separate in case something happens.
I think you might be expecting too much of a dog unless it's a trained therapy dog.

I would suggest a greyhound as they like cuddles, don’t smell as much as other dogs, or bark much either. I considered putting our greyhound forward as a therapet as this was his nature.

But all dogs can be annoying and all are extra work, it’s a big risk if you’re already stretched. You might get a thief who will try to break into your bin or steal things off the kitchen counter every time you turn your back. You might get a chewer who will steal dd’s teddies and chew their ears off or worse. You need to think very clearly about whether you can cope with it.

I have a two year old lab. The cost (approx)-

insurance £65
Monthly health plan - £20 (worming tablets)
Butternut box food - £50
kibble - £20
training -£50

plus beds, collar, toys, etc

So not cheap, and more expensive then I realised before getting a dog

(Nb. You can get cheaper food options)

Labs are great. They don’t seem to mind noise too much either (gun dogs, so fireworks, shouting don’t seem to faze them). DH play fights, lots of screaming with DD and our dog just wanted (and did) join in.
They are very bitey as puppies though, they will draw blood and it hurts. You have to be firm and consistent at the start, fake yelping/ saying ouch excited ours and made him to do it more. We ended ignoring him for ten mins every time he walked up and bit/chewed us. He stole things, he ran away with them and would chew them up. He needed a lot of training, he had no recall, he was stubborn and mischievous and very hairy- needed lots of grooming.
I had DD when he was 7, so he was placid by this time.

They need exercise too and aren’t cheap. Sometimes you can’t feed the cheap food, due to tummy upsets etc. Vets bills should be a consideration, mine had constant ear infections, tore his cruciate £7.5K some covered by insurance but they wouldn’t cover the second leg and that was the end of him being able to go upstairs….
They are beautiful dogs though, but you need to want a dog too. Labs are high maintenance.

If it’s too much would your DD bond with a cat? A juvenile, calm, loving cat (I wouldn’t say kitten as their personalities aren’t established by then).

Agree with all that people have said. I think it’s a really bad idea.
Just picking up one additional point - lots of toys everywhere for your child? This is not safe for a dog, especially a puppy Labrador! If they eat or chew the toys you’re looking at a huge vets bill and emergency surgery! You would need to puppy proof the house which involves a lot of tidying. The puppy couldn’t safely sleep in her room.

I know a local family who got a dog to "help" their autistic child, now the Mum has difficult dog and difficult child to struggle with, as child needs so much time, there is no time to train the dog.
Does she like cats? because they will sleep on her bed, a placid friendly rescue cat would be ideal (and cats are less pushy/in your face than dogs and need less training)

Perhaps you could consider fostering a dog...trial running it so to speak to see if it works in your family

Sorry, I haven't read all replies but all of OP'S posts.

Firstly, before getting a dog/ puppy do your homework and find a dog trainer that is willing to work with your DD. This is primarily to build a bond between DD and the dog.
You need to be prepared to put a considerable amount of time and money into this... I am talking months/ years of regular training. Who knows, your DD might even enjoy some K9 sports. Do you have the energy for this?
Secondly you describe your DD as A highly anxious and sensitive child,
Prone to tantrums over small things, a big role player, chaotic room, lots of toys, struggles to sleep
Personally I would stay away from dogs that are high energy, are demanding as in need lots of training/ stimulation/ exercise and can be sensitive or nervous.
I would look into companion breeds. They are often smaller than what you have in mind but might just be better all round.

(Have a look at Shih Tzu, Lhasa Apso, Chinese Crested, Papillon, ... I only have experience with Chinese Crested and think they can be a good fit as not smelly and quite placid)

The discussion is a bit old, but this might still help: we started the same way, with no prior experience. We worked with a specialist through Wellness Wag, who clearly explained the difference between a service dog and an emotional support dog. It turned out to be a great decision to start with an ESA, especially for a child with autism. Our Labrador is now part of daily therapy.