Inexperienced - what dog? For therapy - autism

[sageGreen81]

My youngest child has Autism, a PDA profile and we are on the waiting list for ADHD (likely to be diagnosed according to the Doctor who did her ASD assessment).

We are considering a dog but we are inexperienced. We live in a semi rural location but don't have a big garden. I would be free to take the dog on two walks a day. I also work from home in the main.

Any suggestions?

I would try looking for a therapy dog. Check ADUK and go from there.
I'm not in your shoes, but trying to train an assistance dog from puppy with no experience, while managing a job, a household and a DC with SN sounds like an epic path to a burn out and a mental breakdown.

I'm already close to burnout! I've looked into therapy dogs they are super expensive.

Friends of mine with a similar situation were advised to get an Aussie Labradoodle. Just be aware that they are retrievers and the kids and dog need careful training to avoid resource guarding (true of all gundogs).

Training a dog to be a therapy dog is hard and takes years - that’s why they’re expensive. Not every dog is cut out to be a therapy dog, even within litters. Getting a dog in the hope it may help with your child autism is a really bad idea unless it’s trained.

People always underestimate how hard it will be and with a ND child - speaking from experience - it’s ten times as hard. A puppy is a toddler until the day it dies. This isn’t something to be considered lightly. If you do, go for something small that will do minimal damage if it snaps

I have a pDA audhd daughter and a dog. It's bloody hard work. I love the dog but as things have gotten harder with DD I wish we didn't have him :-(

That doesn't sound like a nice life for a dog, if you're close to burnout and your child fits a PDA profile there's probably alot of tension and chaos in the house, it seems unfair to bring a living creature into it to take some of the emotional load off. Dogs like stability and knowing everything is okay.

Even if you could walk it twice a day, if you HAD to would you want to? You could go and walk and get a nice coffee in the park alone instead of socialising a dog that might be going through a fear period, or have bad genetics or bounce off the mood of the house and turn anxious or aggressive and turn into another headache for you. They're alot of work, I have no kids and my dogs are older but I still feel burned out sometimes from twice daily walks and cleaning feet and bellies on muddy days and vacuuming and mopping and washing their dog beds after them. There's toilet training too which would be another headache for you.

This sounds condescending but I don't mean it as such - have you considered a fish first to see how your kid likes the "responsibility"? You can make a planted tank and get a fish like a betta which will come to the surface for feeding, then you can see if having a living creature to take care of and pay attention to helps your child before jumping into a burden like a dog.

I know of a breeder who has produced quite a few pups that have gone on to be therapy dogs. They are cavalier crosses (thoroughly health-tested, due to the problems that cavaliers are prone to). I have one of her dogs (a very gentle, loving little dog) and a DC with autism, and although my dog is just a family pet and not trained to be a therapy dog, my DC adores the dog and finds her a calming and reassuring presence.

If you PM me, I could give you the breeder's details, if you are interested.

We chose a Labrador and it has turned out to be a great decision.

Have you considered adopting an adult dog? An older, calm dog is likely a better fit for your household. A puppy sounds like a recipe for disaster. You could speak to some rescues and see if they have any dogs they think would be a good fit for you.

This!
don't do it.
it's not an easy cheaper option. I've seen many a family try and fail, intact I haven't yet met one that has succeeded.
shortest time from dog arriving to dog leaving was 6 weeks once!

And anything with poo or oodle in the breed isn't a good idea.

I just want to say that we have two dogs, different litters, from a breed that are great with kids, but at 3 and 5, they are totally bonkers. I would step very carefully or you could end up with a very chaotic situation. Are there any charities near you that might do visits with therapy dogs?

We got a cockerpoo. She was brilliant but developed anxiety due to my sons meltdowns and had to go live with a relative as it was cruel in the end.

Took a lot of time and energy training. I would not recommend doing it yourself

Try Dogs for Autism.

Think carefully about a puppy. The puppy stage is rough.
Something like a labrador while makes a perfect candidate when older, takes until about 3 to calm down

It's not uncommon for dogs bought for kids with autism to really backfire and end up in rescue. Basically the relationship needs to survive the puppy stage, which can be hard if your kid finds it hard to forgive puppy behaviour. I'd expect kids favourite toys to be eaten, food to be stolen, kids to get knocked over, jumping up with muddy paws, puppy barking, forced walks in the cold and rain even when your kid has had enough and most importantly often puppies have a long biting stage. It normally goes away but It can be really hard for autistic people to regain trust after that

We know someone who got a labradoodle for this reason. But equally ,seeing what your local rescue centre can offer may be better as with an older dog you have a known personality that your child can meet and see if they get on….you don’t then have to cope with puppy and teenager dog phases which could cause you extra stress. you could also join www.borrowmydoggy.com or similar if thats an option on your area, you can then see how your child responds to different dog personalities.

https://www.autismdogs.co.uk/our-service/apply

They’re currently open for applications

Puppies are incredibly hard work OP, I really don't think you need to add that stress into your life. They can also be very jumpy and bitey - really not ideal for your child. I'd agree with looking at getting an older chilled dog from rescue.

You first need to really think about what specifically you want the dog to do and what you can offer the dog - not just in terms of walks.

For a therapy dog expectations can be anything from 'just be a very calm dog that sits around being fussed' right through to 'be a dog that actively gets involved to help diffuse difficult emotional overloads' to 'do something very specific when x happens'. Think carefully because lots of people overlook the obvious which is often 'prefer the autistic person/child to everyone else in the house'. It can be very upsetting to get a dog specifically to help someone with autism if the dog then latches onto someone else and doesn't want to spend time with them - which is entirely possible.

When they are not home, what do you expect from the dog. If you work from home, is it critical that the dog does not bother you are can you interupt your work for play and training sessions through the day?

Do you need the dog to travel well? Do you often take car journeys, train journeys? Do you have visitors? Do they have small children? Do they have dogs? Do you visit people with other types of pets?

And more. Think about a typical and non-typical day and figure out what you would wanrt the dog to be doing at any moment in those days.

When we talk about what you can offer:

• those 2 walks a day, how long are they and what kind of walks are they. There is a big difference between 20mins round the streets vs an hour through local woodland with the chance to sniff and roam.
• Grooming: how much can you do, how much do you want to do and/or how much can you afford to pay someone else to do?
• Training: especially in the early months, how much time can you commit, are you prepared to get a one-to-one trainer to assist, are you prepared to do a range of puppy classes, how knowledgeable are you about training techniques?
• Company: while you work from home in the main, what happens when you are not at home? Will the dog be alone, how long for and how often? Are you prepared (can you afford) a walker and/or day care?
• Who else is in the house, do they all want a dog and, if so, what do they all want from the dog?
• How much can you afford for the dog to cost per month? Insurance for different breeds can vary wildly, especially as those dogs get older. For lots of typical therapy breeds, top level insurance can easily hit £200+ per month as they age (ust for eg). Food costs can vary a lot depending on the size of the dog. Then add in vet costs (even with insurance), dog walkers, day care, grooming (if appropriate). It can all add up, especially for the bigger breeds.

Just posting to add that Canine Partners also do trained dogs for people with autism (which is probably a better idea than getting a puppy anyway), but not sure if that's only adults or kids too.

To add, it is also valubale to think about what you CANNOT tolerate from the dog:

e.g.

• chewing (mouthing, 'stealing' things like socks and shoes)
• digging (in the garden but also digging at blankets in the house)
• trouble with toilet training (some breeds are harder than others to train)
• barking (at doors, in garden)
• excessive energy (always ready to go)
• too little energy (can be seen as boring)
• health isues/lots of daily maintenance tasks to keep on top of health issues
• food focussed (leads to scrounging if not consistently trained, which is hard around kids)
• destructive with toys (can lead to problems when they mistake a kid's toy for a dog toy)

Agree that you need a properly trained dog if it’s intended to be a therapy animal.

friends did this many years ago after seeing something on tv about an autistic child being helped by a dog.

it did not work. The child was too hyper and excited by the puppy, and no amount of “gentle hands” stuff worked. To the point he got so rough there was a real chance the puppy would get injured, or retaliate. They ended up having to constantly supervise and/or separate.

once the dog grew up and the attraction wore off the child wasn’t bothered with it anyway and refused to do anything with it.

how is your child with animals and dogs? Can you find someone that will run sessions so you can get an idea of whether a dog will be helpful for your son or not? Autism as you know is a complex spectrum and while dogs may help some, it’s not a guarantee.

An older Labrador might work well. My DC love grandparents elderly dog, another relatives puppy they hate.
Are looking for the calming influence of a pet? An older chilled male cat, some male cat settle down really quickly once they are out of the kitten stag. Chickens or ducks are other option. I have a DC awaiting diagnosis and they prefer the cat, chickens and ducks to the dog.

Agree with Sirsniffsalot. What do you want the dog to do?

If you are training specific tasks and a first time dog owner dont go there!

If you want a calming dog who will sit around your child to calm them do not go for anything with doodle in it. Maybe a golden retriever.

If you get a golden retriever allow extra hours in the day to wash dog as they love mud and to hoover up hair that will get everywhere. However a golden retriever puppy will jump up, chew, chase and can worry some children

Please dont think a dog will be a magic cure for your child. It may work but it could be sooooooo much work for you and you sound pretty busy will little time for yourself already. Look after yourself too.

Hello OP,

You could offer to dog sit to see how your child interacts with animals ?
Or else get a cat, they are low maintenance. Personally I wouldn't want to deal with a dog in addition to a child with SN.

It’s £15000 to get a dog from them! We looked into it. The fact is for the vast majority of families the cost of an official assistance dog isn’t achievable.