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The doghouse

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Original poster

Dog wants to sleep on our bed- crying

40 replies

MrsDThaskala · 09/02/2025 09:11

Hi lovely dog owners, I'm hoping you have some advise.

We have been letting our dog sleep at the end of the bed for about a year. Started off when DH was away with work and I don't mind dog sleeping at the end of the bed. We were then successful in training him to sleep on an armchair in our room by way of dog biscuits and it worked for a few months. Jumping on the bed for a nap in the day. The last two weeks, dog starts off on the chair, but now whimpers at about 3am. Whimpers so much it wakes us both. We ended up tapping the bed and he falls asleep once jumped on. At least it's peaceful. Any advice? Should we go for him sleeping downstairs? Should we try something else. One thing is he doesn't just jump on at night- he waits for us to say OK and tap the bed.
Not sure what to do next?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsDThaskala · 09/02/2025 09:11

He's 3. And a Labrador so not small.

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 09:14

Why can't he just sleep on the bed? Confused

Poshjock · 09/02/2025 09:17

Haha I have one like that. He’s huge and doesn’t really fit in a 3 in the bed situation. I work away from home a lot so I understand why DH let him and he mostly sleeps on the floor next to me or on the spare bed next door. However if he gets cold or isn’t well we get the cold wet nose on the face or neck and the heavy resting head on the duvet until we BOTH given him permission to get up. I’ve given in to it now. It’s only on occasion as he normally is happy with lying with me at night til DH comes to bed and taking my side from me when I get up in the morning.

Onlyvisiting · 09/02/2025 09:17

Is he cold? And an armchair means he has to be curled up which isn't comfy all night. Put a better bed down for him (ideally one raised off the floor, it gers cold and damp down there) and put a blanket on him. Or a cave bed.

NorthernSpirit · 09/02/2025 09:18

You have created a rod for your own back here.

IMO a Labrador is too big to be sleeping on the bed. It’s already disturbing your sleep.

Personally I would cage train. I have a 4 YO Viszla (so similar size to a lab). She’s cage trained and sleeps in her cage downstairs at night. She absolutely loves her bed / cage & will take herself off to her bed when she wants some sleep / peace & quiet.

She comes up in the morning for a cuddle to our bed.

We’ve slept with her in a bed once in a hotel - never again. She’s too large to sleep with.

LandSharksAnonymous · 09/02/2025 09:29

IMO a Labrador is too big to be sleeping on the bed. It’s already disturbing your sleep.

A lab is soooo not too big to be on a bed. I have four Goldies - all over 40KG - who sleep on mine. 😂

It’s disturbing OPs sleep because it’s crying to be on her bed - it’s not disturbing her sleep by being on the bed.

It’s crate training - not cage - and with a dog already showing SA , whilst in the room let alone downstairs, could go badly wrong.

Unless OP is 100% against the dog sleeping in her bed, which she’s not as she’s already let it happen, I’d just persevere tbh.

OP - if you don’t want her in your bed, make her a little den at the side of the bed 😊

hby9628 · 09/02/2025 09:34

We got a bigger bed specifically to accommodate this scenario

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 09:41

@NorthernSpirit but the OP is only being woken up because the dog cries to get on the bed at 3am. If he was there from bedtime it wouldn't be a problem.

Of course if they don't want the dog on the bed at all, that's different, but it doesn't seem that way to me as he's allowed in the bedroom and on the bed as it is.

aei22 · 09/02/2025 10:00

Can you put the armchair in your room? Getting rid of something else like bedside tables if space is a problem? My dog sleeps in our room. We love being together.

Original poster
MrsDThaskala · 09/02/2025 13:19

Thanks all. Yes we don't mind him sleeping at the end of the bed, but would prefer him not to all night as I can't stretch my legs out too well. He starts off on the sofa chair, there's a blanket. Sometimes he stays on there all night. Other nights he cries. He also doesn't jump down- he jumps from sofa to bed. It's like he's scared of the (wooden) floor?? But we've always had it. This is a recent thing.

OP posts:
Bupster · 09/02/2025 14:40

Dogs like to move around in the night, and he probably can't stretch his legs on the sofa/chair properly. You could try getting him a large bed in your room that he can move around on?

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 14:43

Dogs are polyphasic sleepers so rarely stay in the same position or place all night - given the choice, they will get up, move around, stretch, move from the floor to the sofa and back, etc. It's one of the reasons some people don't agree with keeping them in crates all night, as it means they can't do what comes naturally to them.

If he sleeps in your room it's unlikely you'll be able to get him to stay in one "spot" as it were, so if he's too disruptive then you may have to work on training him to sleep elsewhere, though it may not be easy given he's now three.

SecondMrsTanqueray · 09/02/2025 14:44

I simply couldn’t stand this, but I fear you’ve created a habit that’ll be hard to reverse.

I’d try making him sleep downstairs. Maybe sleep down there with him for a couple of nights?

CoffeeBeansGalore · 09/02/2025 14:46

Something like this?

Dog wants to sleep on our bed- crying
chattyness · 09/02/2025 15:05

Our dog sometimes sleeps on the bed and he likes to hug feet so it can get uncomfortable at times plus he does that roll stretch and shove thing so we're on the edges and he's got the space in the middle 😆 A few months ago we got a Danish design sherpa fleece dog bed and laid it on the floor on my side of the bed and he loves it. It's got a cosy fleece cover and then we cover him with a soft Dog bed blanket. We made sure to get the largest one & it's huge so he can stretch right out, he is Labrador size as well, pricey but worth it ,he sleeps really soundly on it and we have a better nights sleep too. Search dogsdogsdog s site for sherpa fleece bed, sorry link didn't work so removed it

chattyness · 09/02/2025 16:09

chattyness · 09/02/2025 15:05

Our dog sometimes sleeps on the bed and he likes to hug feet so it can get uncomfortable at times plus he does that roll stretch and shove thing so we're on the edges and he's got the space in the middle 😆 A few months ago we got a Danish design sherpa fleece dog bed and laid it on the floor on my side of the bed and he loves it. It's got a cosy fleece cover and then we cover him with a soft Dog bed blanket. We made sure to get the largest one & it's huge so he can stretch right out, he is Labrador size as well, pricey but worth it ,he sleeps really soundly on it and we have a better nights sleep too. Search dogsdogsdog s site for sherpa fleece bed, sorry link didn't work so removed it

Edited

it's this one : www.dogsdogsdogs.co.uk/products/sherpa-fleece-charcoal-arrows-deep-duvet

Icannotremembermyusername · 09/02/2025 16:18

This might be a very unpopular idea, but we bought a second hand wooden cot, took off one side ( that goes up and down ) and raised the mattress to be the same height as our bed. It rests against the end of the bed and our Labrador sleeps in it as it’s technically at the end if the bed but not in our bed, but she’s safe and won’t fall out. Works really well (if you have the space.) no we will not use it for babies afterwards!!

Dearg · 09/02/2025 16:25

Icannotremembermyusername · 09/02/2025 16:18

This might be a very unpopular idea, but we bought a second hand wooden cot, took off one side ( that goes up and down ) and raised the mattress to be the same height as our bed. It rests against the end of the bed and our Labrador sleeps in it as it’s technically at the end if the bed but not in our bed, but she’s safe and won’t fall out. Works really well (if you have the space.) no we will not use it for babies afterwards!!

That is such a good idea! Wish I had thought of that 14 years ago.

Two labs here, one loves to be between DH & I , and is like one of those weighted blankets. I actually think I sleep better when he is there.
Thankfully, the other one prefers her own space - or won’t challenge him.

We bought a Superking to overcome the space problem.

ClodHoppers · 09/02/2025 16:35

We also got one of those Danish beds like in @chattyness 's link

We put a soft fleece blanket on it and he loves that and sleeps on the floor on it in our room

RoomtownBat · 09/02/2025 16:36

hby9628 · 09/02/2025 09:34

We got a bigger bed specifically to accommodate this scenario

Me too!

When I was single, my German Shepherd used to sleep on the bed, but as she grew, she took it over. They are not small dogs plus she is long coated, so there was always a dog body-part digging in you, pungent breath in your face, or she made me too hot from her fur.

I got a king-size ( and all new sized bedding😠) and it was much better. We had our own space finally.

Fast forward to 3 years ago when DP moved in… She adores him, so there are now 3 of us in the King size bed….

MrsCrabOrange · 09/02/2025 16:37

Those of you with the dogs in the bed every night, when do you manage to have sex because I know mine would try to join in and who wants to have sex with a dog watching them?

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 16:58

MrsCrabOrange · 09/02/2025 16:37

Those of you with the dogs in the bed every night, when do you manage to have sex because I know mine would try to join in and who wants to have sex with a dog watching them?

We just shut him out. He's fine outside in the hall or downstairs on his own.

chattyness · 09/02/2025 17:05

Those of you with the dogs in the bed every night, when do you manage to have sex because I know mine would try to join in and who wants to have sex with a dog watching them?

Ick, no! Our dog also has an orthopaedic bed in a little den we made for him in the hallway cupboard, we shut the doggy gate & turn the telly up, he likes going in there for a couple of hours every night for snooze whether we're at it or not 😆 He joins us later on, spends a bit of time on the bed with us then gets tucked in on his fleece for the night.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 09/02/2025 17:23

Get in your bed, it's 3 am ... works I'm our house. Now doesn't try until at least 6. Not our dog, a friends dog we have occasionally.

Millyjanice · 09/02/2025 17:33

MrsDThaskala · 09/02/2025 13:19

Thanks all. Yes we don't mind him sleeping at the end of the bed, but would prefer him not to all night as I can't stretch my legs out too well. He starts off on the sofa chair, there's a blanket. Sometimes he stays on there all night. Other nights he cries. He also doesn't jump down- he jumps from sofa to bed. It's like he's scared of the (wooden) floor?? But we've always had it. This is a recent thing.

I had 3 smaller dogs. They were Chinese Cresteds. They all wanted to sleep on/ in bed. Thankfully we had a king size bed. One was allowed in the bed, between me and DP, one liked being very bottom of bed and third lay above my head on my pillow between the head board and my head.
This was an arrangement that lasted well for years.
We all had enough space to move around.
Not sure you could get a lab on your pillow though !
Could you get a dog bed and put it on a chair/ some sort of stand so its level with your bed and next to you ? Like a bed extension in a way !