Choosing a dog - where to start?

[coverp]

DH and I are starting to think about choosing a dog to join the family. Either this summer or next summer depending on how our research goes. We have 3 children who are currently 6, 4 and 1. My family owned dogs throughout my childhood and 20s but DH has never had one.

We have had a terrible experience of a Romanian rescue in the family, which makes me very nervous to consider (certainly an overseas) rescue. I suspect most rescues would not rehome to a house with such small children in either?

DH would love a Lab or a Retriever, but I think they are too big for me to happily handle myself (I WFH so would be doing a lot of the daytime load) and I'd also prefer a dog that doesn't shed quite so much. We had a range of different dogs growing up, including a lab, a beagle, a (crazy) spaniel and several different types of terrier.

Can anyone give advice to help us get started:
Are there rescues that would consider us, and if so, what do we need to know about going this route?
How do you find reputable breeders if we decide a puppy is better for us?
Any tips on agreeing a suitable breed or is it best to stay open minded at this stage and focus on finding the best place to adopt/buy from?
Are the kids too young this summer? Better to wait until youngest is 2.5?

Thanks for any insight!

Hi OP good that you’re doing thorough research! I believe it is very rare for rescues in the uk to home a dog in a household with children as young as yours, due to the risk factor involved. Young children may be unintentionally heavy handed or will be unable to read the dogs signals telling that they want to be left alone.

So for these reasons, if you do decide to go ahead with a puppy from a breeder it is mega important that you don’t leave your children and puppy alone as you will need to be able to supervise not only how your children are interacting with the dog, but also your dogs body language that they have had enough/ the game isnt fun for them. This also includes understanding that not all tail wags are positive and can be signs of stress as is panting in some cases.

in terms of a reputable breeder, I know 3 different people who thought they were going to a good breeder who said all the right things on the phone, and when they arrived to collect the puppy they were not comfortable with the environment the puppies were kept in etc, but by that point they wanted to “save” the puppy from that environment. One has gone on to have multiple chronic health issues, one is seemingly ok but is just 10months old right now and the other is quite nervous but that may or may not be due to the breeder environment.

I would suggest that if you want as good a breeder as you can reasonably get (but again, people are people which means they are unpredictable) that you go through Kennel Club. If you do, you can filter the puppy searches to ensure that not only are they KC registered, that they are KC Assured (have had house checks by kennel club) and that the parents have been health checked. Some listings on there will have none or some of these tags, but I’d opt for all three if possible. Of course a KC Assured breeder may still treat their dogs poorly, but they will have had a home visit from KC club so at least you know some checks have been done by a third party.

A good rescue won’t re-home to you with so many children under 8 - most say kids need to be older than eight.

Likewise, most good breeders won’t either. They might with one kid under 8, but not with three. At least none of the breeders who I know of would - and tbh they’re the sort of breeders you want to go for. The ones who aren’t wary about giving a puppy to a family with multiple young children are the sorts of breeders you should avoid.

Labs and Goldies are great - but you’d need your head read to get one when you have so many young kids. They’re bloody hard work as puppies, they mouth (bite) hard and they knock kids over. Even accidentally, a lab or goldie puppy could do a hell of a lot of damage to young children when over stimulated and wound up - and young children are very good at winding up puppies. You don’t want to be spending 18 months - 2 years keeping your dog away from your children tbh.

I’d wait a couple of years, at least until your youngest is five, and use that time to really consider what you don’t want in a dog and narrow it down from there.

I’d also add, any good breeders with litters this summer - and potentially next summer - will already have full waiting lists. Mines be full for over two years and my next litter isn’t until June (if all goes well).

The thing I found tricky with a puppy and young DC (youngest was just over a year) wasn't the child/puppy interactions but finding time for training. Our DC were very used to dogs (PILs had several, a regularly-visiting friend had one, neighbours had them etc etc) but you can't train a puppy and supervise a toddler at the same time. As a result our first dog didn't have the best recall and pulled on the lead. OTOH, she was wonderful with the DC (who were given very clear boundaries around her). The odd toy was chewed, but that was it.

That said, I do know people who have young DC and well-trained dogs. It can be done, if you have someone (DH?) who can watch the DC reliably for half an hour 4 or 5 times a week so you can get out there (mine worked insane hours, that was my issue). Or even a DH prepared to train the dog...

As for finding a breed, Discover Dogs is a good place to meet different breeds. Think about size, overall health and longevity, grooming, exercise and mental stimulation needs, temperament. As for health tests, for recessive genetic diseases, one parent needs to be tested clear (a health test is not the same as a health check). For things like hip dysplasia, I'd like either results for both parents or results for the dam and the sire still being very fit and active at 10+. One thing I am very keen on is a low co-efficient of inbreeding. Inbred dogs are much more prone to allow sorts of issues that can't necessarily be found on the usual health test panels - allergies etc.

I am personally not sure I could have handled a small child and our puppy. Not to say it can't be done, but ours was very mouthy and it hurt me - I can't imagine how challenging it would have been to try and keep tiny hands/feet safe!

Another aspect to consider is resource guarding. We were diligent with only ever 'swapping' a toy or food item or anything else ddog got with a higher value item/treat, and he still has shown some guarding behaviour. A toddler may inadvertently become a competitor for ddog resources, which I wouldn't want to risk.

I would wait more like 3 years at least, a toddler and a puppy is a recipe for disaster because a puppy is a bit like having a toddler so you will have two! You're obviously going to prioritise your child so you won't have time for much puppy training.

I don't think you'll find a reputable breeder or rescue that will even consider you given the ages of your children - and rightly so, in all honesty.

It's a bit of an MN cliche but I would wait until
your youngest is toilet trained, in school and generally sleeping through the night before bringing a dog or puppy into your home.

In terms of breed, it really depends on what you can offer day-to-day, how long you'll be out of the house, what kind of exercise you can give them, what grooming needs you can cover etc. Once you know all of that, then you can look at breeds that fit your needs, if that makes sense.

I don't even have kids and I found having a puppy really, really hard. I couldn't imagine going through it with a 1 year old as well. I think I would definitely wait a few more years

Advice? Wait longer.

I'd wait until the 1 year old is 3 or I'd get an older dog.

Me too. Puppies are Hard Work , it’s like having another baby in the household.

I would wait until the youngest is school age. Start with what you can offer a dog and what you can deal with in terms of exercise and grooming and potential behaviour issues. Eg separation anxiety or resource guarding or barking. Some breeds are more prone than others. Discover Dogs at Crufts is great to learn about different breeds if you can get there.

Try having nine of the little bastards + three adults 😁

It’s true though, puppies are vicious little bastards who use their cuteness to cause no end of chaos and make you feel like the bad person if you try and correct them

I agree with PPs. Puppies can be extremely hard work.

Ours is now 15 months and its been a huge struggle. Aside from everything else, she's taken a year to house train. Its been a couple of months since she last wee'd in the house but I still can't trust she won't. So many times, I just wanted to give up on her. We both definitely had puppy blues with her.

On the other hand, we have a 6 year old Mini Schnauzer who was a dream puppy, apart from the mouthing which was painful and constant for about 7 months. She was completely house trained in 2 weeks. She's wonderful.

I couldn't even imagine dealing with our puppy, plus 3 young children! 🙀 I'd have gone insane.

But if you believe you can handle it, a dog is a lovely addition to the family.

When we were looking for a puppy, our first decision was what kind of size. Then, googled small dog breeds and see which ones we liked the look of. Then looked up characteristics, traits and health of those breeds, and went from there.

Good luck!

Thank you all for taking the time to give such helpful tips. We are happy to wait a little longer - DH is a teacher so we are thinking that if we were to go down the puppy route, we could try to time it so that we could have the summer holidays as a good settling / training period where we'd all have a little more time with the pup.

I had heard from friends of waiting 2+ years on a list, so thought it was worth starting to think about it even if we end up wanting to push things out to summer 2027 or 2028. I'm nervous for sure about the mouthing phase with little ones, I still remember the nips from our childhood dogs.

DH is keen to encourage the puppy conversation whenever the DC number 4 conversation comes up!

@coverp yoh are extremely unlikely to get a puppy from a good breeder at the start of the summer. Girls only have a couple of seasons a year. Good breeders don’t have many litters at all. So the likelihood of a litter at the start of the summer holiday is very small.

the likelihood of a litter at the start of the summer holiday is very small.

That does depend on the breed some what. With a popular breed like a Labrador, if you are willing to travel it's possible to choose a litter that suits you timing wise to some extent.

I'm not sure this is true, especially for popular breeds.

There may be lots of them about. But the likelihood of them being anything other than a backyard or commercial breeder is still quite low. Sadly most dogs bred in this country are not from decent breeders.

I agree with waiting a couple of years till youngest is nearer 3y. I'd go a medium sized dog. They're more robust for kids but not too big to handle. Beagle, cavalier or some poodle/ spaniel mixes or a rescue in a similar size. Don't overthink it. Just start looking and pick a dog you all think is cute and nice when the time comes.

On champ dogs when we were looking there were often 150+ litters advertised with puppies available in the same sort of timeframe. That's weeding out a lot of the unscrupulous breeders already, and then even if only 5% of those are 'decent'* there's still choice.

*Decent is of course open to interpretation, I personally avoid licenced breeders. I'm also sceptical of breeders having litters often enough to maintain wait lists.

Licensed is neither here nor there. I would look for someone doing breed specific health tests on parents. Not too many dogs. And not breeding each girl too often or too young old.

No. @Wolfiefan is 100% correct.

Of the thirty plus breeders ‘recommended’ in my local breed club, only five (excluding myself - who I like to think of as being a good and responsible breeder) are ones I would recommend. The rest of them have more than two litters per bitch, don’t do the full health tests, don’t keep the bitches when they can no longer breed and/or cut corners - some do all of that.

I breed Goldies. There’s no shortage of breeders - and OP could probably find a litter on ChampDogs or the KC website today, if she wished. Would they be the product of good, stable and ethical breeding? No.

If anything, the more popular a breed is the more likely you are to buy or fall susceptible to buying a badly-bred puppy. Look at that poster the other day - she’d done everything ‘right,’ went with a breeder recommended by her local breed club, good health tests etc, and it was only when I pointed out that anyone who had ‘multiple breeding bitches’ not living in their home but bought in to give birth, and then taken away again, was not a good breeder, did she realise there was an issue and the breeder was a puppy farmer.

IME ‘rarer’ breeders tend to be better ones - because the gene pool is smaller so, for their own benefit if for nothing else, they need healthy dogs and offspring. If only so they dont go out of business in a few generations!

And coefficient of breeding needs looking at too.

I think given the age of your children and your previous rescue experience then I would not go down the traditional rescue route.

I would concentrate your efforts on finding the right breeder and breed - as you say by the time you’ve found the right one, you’ll have a wait anyway.

I would suggest a medium sized breed - for example cavalier or miniature schnauzer size. Not necessarily those breeds, more about sizing.

Perhaps go to Discover Dogs which i believe is part of Crufts now? That is really good fun and a great way to meet breeds and their owners.

The only caveat to rescue is that you may be lucky and be able to rehome. That can work really well as you bypass the work of a puppy (which really is a lot of work) but get to rehome a dog which is being given up without any behavioural issues. Keep your eye out locally with friends or on local sites. I know a couple of lovely dogs rehomed for ex after marriage split up or moving abroad. But few and far between.

It's a fairly bold statement to say that none of the litters on champ dogs are from ethical breeders.

When we got our first we had a 3 hour search radius (and we're middle of the country so that's a big area). I spoke to 3 people who had dogs that just had a litter. All fully healthy tested for the breed (hips/elbows/eye tests/genetic tests), all with coi well below the breed average, all breeding to keep one of the litter, raised in the home etc. They had homes lined up for some pups but due to size of litter or sex ratios they had 2 or 3 puppies still unspoken for. They didn't have long waiting lists because they might never have another litter, or wouldn't have another for 4 years.