How to cope after losing your dog

[wakijaki09]

So on Monday we had our beloved dog put to sleep. He was our third Samoyed dog ( big white fluffy polar bear) and the only one we had from a puppy.
He had been getting slower and slower and then stopped eating. We tried as much as we could but made the decision to have him PTS before he got any worse.
For the first time in over 20 years my house is dog free.
I guess I thought he was still a puppy and always would be.
It hurts horrendously. There's a huge dog shaped hole in my heart and I feel so heavy with grief.
I know it will pass and get easier but I've always had another dog at home to help get over it.
The last few days I've thrown myself back into work and come home and gone on one of our old walks that we haven't been able to do for the past few months as I can't bear being in the house without him here.
Any tips? Thanks

I'm so sorry. In time the grief will fade and you'll remember the good times more when you think of him. My big dog died in September and I still turned around and expected to see him one day last week.

Sorry for your loss.

I think one has to take comfort in having given him a good life, and also making the right choice at the end.

It is the worst part of dog ownership, but an inevitable one. As @Lougle says, time will help.

I feel for you, OP. We lost our dog a few years ago. Yes he was old. He was not himself, getting slower and slower on his walks. Decreased appetite. The week he could hardly get himself over the rim of the patio doors to go in the garden, we knew it was time. Dogs mask pain, so it's hard to tell. I could see a marked difference in his condition and he was sad.
My one piece of advice is don't rush to get another. 💐

It's just awful, there's no easy way to deal with it. I'm sorry you're going through this.
We lost both our beloved boys end of 2023. I had a foster dog weeks after for a few months - probably too soon. Then ended up keeping a foster we had in September. She's been a complete joy. However I look at her and think shit my heart will be broken again at some point. I'm trying to live more in the moment with her. I still talk to and about the boys and miss them. It's so hard.

I'm so, so sorry. What a beautiful dog ❤

The only healer is time.

I have the other big white Polar Bear dog - Pyrenean - and after we lost our previous boy, it was two years before I could even look at his photo without crying.
It is so hard when they're gone and the house just feels empty.
I don't know what to suggest for that, nothing really helps. It was ages before I even put his food bowls or leads away, it just seemed too final. We'd been a multi dog household before (2 or 3 together) so, as with you, losing an only dog felt harder. We were 3 years dog free before getting our current pup.

Do continue to get out for walks though. I got that wrong, I became a recluse when our boy died, and my health suffered for it. Keep going for walks. It might not help the immediate sense of loss or the grief when you're at home and he isn't there, but it will help you in the longer term if you can keep active.

So sorry about your gorgeous boy x

💐

Get another one.

I think it’s just like losing any family member and it’s time . My lovely dog died on Nov 3rd last year , he was the dog live of my life and the whole family were completely devoted to him . I have photos of him everywhere and we talk about him a lot . I cannot see us getting another dog . Take care of yourself , it’s really hard 💐

You do realise that you can’t just replace them , they are individuals .

I'm sorry for your loss OP . I haven't read the post fully and the responses because it will make me too emotional but things that helped me when our dog passed are:
They will have known they were loved and cherished so much. Take comfort from that.
Some people say put down instead of put to sleep and I found some comfort in a friend saying we hadn't put our dog down we had 'lifted him up' away from his pain/ illness to peace.
When you're ready channel the love you have into another dog needing love. That can be your dog's legacy.

What an insensitive post.

OP - he was absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, the answer is that you don't. They're like toddlers for 9-10 years (breed dependent) and then old after that, so you spent 10-15 years just looking after them as you would a child or elderly relative, in many ways they are family. What helps me is focussing on the good and re-doing the walks I used to do with them (as you have done). I'm really sorry for your loss.

Of course you can't. But it will keep you mind occupied which helps to overcome the grief.

I’m still grieving for the loss of my girl in October. I miss her so much. When I come home from work her face would be at the window, she would knock my DH out of the way to get to me first. I can’t walk any of the routes I used to walk with her as it’s too painful. I want another dog……but I only want her, and until I’m past this stage I know I shouldn’t get one.

Time will heal, it gets a little easier, I have no hints or tips, just be kind to yourself, cry if you need to, and remember you gave your beloved dog the very very best life that they could possible have.

Sending you a huge hug OP. I feel your pain.

We had our lovely boy put to sleep yesterday after 14 years and I know how you feel. I haven’t really any advice other than be kind to yourself. I think people are much kinder these days, no “it’s just a dog”. Perhaps visit somewhere you remember him being happy, or donate to an animal charity in his name.

So sorry, your big old polar bear looks like a wonderful companion.

We lost our elderly boy in 2022 and only lasted 4 months before getting our little lady. It did feel a bit weird for a few months but one thing it did do was reconnect us to the memories of our old dog when he was much younger. When you've lived with a wonderful, stately old dog, you forget what they were like when they were their vibrant younger selves and we found so many memories rushing back to us when the new dog (who was only 6 months old when we got her) did puppy/young dog things. And that was joyful, actually. We talk about our old dog every single day. They never really leave you, they live on in your heart.

I like to think of Winnie the Pooh's great wisdom when it comes to letting our faithful companions go...how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Sending you a big hug x

Bollocks does it . I had 2 other horses when my ❤️ horse died , it doesn’t help because they weren’t her .

Well, horses are hardly dogs are they?

What a beautiful dog. Sending love xxx

No, they're not, but I had three dogs together and the same principle applies. You need to work through the grief and mourn the lost animal. You can't just go out and buy a replacement the next day, you have to feel ready emotionally.

Sorry for loss Op. We lost our very beloved dog in November. She was only six and a half and she was very poorly at the end. It does get easier over time but sometimes something will trigger you and you will find yourself remembering. I agree with not getting a dog immediately. You are likely to try to get a dog which is just like the one you have lost and that's not fair on the dog.

Having a new dog will bring about positive feelings that will alleviate heartache. You are painting a picture like grief is some sort of box you need to tick off before moving on. That does not correspond with what happens on reality. You may introduce changes in your day to day that will spark uplifting emotions.

When my dog died I fostered a breed I knew I would never own.
It gave me something to focus on without feeling like I’d replaced him and I saw them into their new homes, had a break of a week or 2, then fostered another and so on until I was ready to get my own dog again.

The pain is indescribable, though.

Grief is a very personal and individual thing. You do not have the right to speak for other people with regard to "what happens in reality". Everybody's reality is different.

I'm not just some armchair psychologist spouting platitudes about grief. I lost my previous dog prematurely and suddenly, at age 7, and the trauma genuinely took me two years to recover from. I did not feel ready for another dog before then. That was my reality.

Aside from not living indoors our horses were just like our dogs , they were family pets who had a loving home for life . My ❤️ horse quite literally stopped me going mental when my dad died suddenly in his early 50s . I owed her my sanity . You obviously have never felt about an animal the way I did about my last dog or my horse , that’s your loss , maybe one day you will and then you might just be able to understand .

Maybe you should have kept that for yourself. OP opened the thread to get some tips on how to cope with the devastating loss of his beloved dog.
I gave my tip, which you may agree or disagree with. You on the other hand are not helping with your "nothing really helps" and parading your overextended grief over two years. Let's try to be more supportive.

It was you that made this into an issue here not me. It was you that came out with a totally unsupportive comment with no trace of compassion. Don't be such a hypocrite.