Evening class dilema - 8 week old puppy!

[mom2daisypie]

Hi,
After separating from my husband of 18 years 2 months ago Ive been suffering anxiety and depression. Ive never been single or lived alone. Several kind folk on here recommended a dog for company so this week I bought home an 8 weeks old shihtzu, Bailey who Ill be crate training (in my bedroom at night currently). Hes already bought me joy and focus.

My issue is Ive been desperate to join a Tuesday evening art class for ages but couldnt find one. Now one has started close to me but Im obviously worried about leaving the pup. The class is 7-9.30pm. Allowing for travel it would be 3.5 hours max once a week (I work from home the rest of the time). Id make sure Tuesdays were big play days so hes tired by early evening and he would be safe in his crate with toys etc.

Would this be ok or be too distressing for him?

I think he’s too young at the moment to be left for that long. But should be fine in the future. If you need to start the classes now, could you pay someone to come and sit with him for a couple of hours?

You're meant to build up to leaving a puppy, starting with ten minutes building up to an hour- so I'm afraid 3.5 hours is too long. If this course is running in the summer term eg from April, it would be more feasible then.

Your poor pup would likely be very distressed as it's only just come home with you.

Definitely not ok to leave him yet and won’t be ok to leave him for that long for a long time to come.

Thanks both.

Ill check whether my parents could come and dogsit for me rather than risk distressing him.

That sounds a perfect solution.

Don’t think your friends’ suggestion to get a dog at such a difficult time and yours to do so was a good one unless you’d previously wanted a puppy and fully understood what’s involved. Unfair on the pup, the commitment you’ve made means you won’t be able to do certain other things rightaway.

several hours dog sitting every week is a lot to ask of even family IMO

I'd put the class on hold if you can't get a reliable puppy sitter. TBH you would probably be too stressed to enjoy the class if you just left him.

Looking after an 8 week old puppy is very different to looking after a settled adult.

Do your parents know about toilet training, bite inhibition and how to deal with a hyperactive furry bundle charging around the room biting and stealing everything?

Some of these guides might be helpful to you. This site has been recommended by other puppy people on The Doghouse, it is all very informative with regard to training and knowing what to expect.
https://fbdtas.com/guide-2-puppies

You may also find it useful to join the Puppy Survival Thread for support and friendly chat.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_doghouse/5180942-puppy-survival-thread-for-new-and-old-pups-here-comes-winter-2024

Really, your puppy is far too young to be left alone for any length of time. Ours is 9 months currently and we still don't leave her alone for longer than about 30 minutes. I think it very much depends on the individual dog though - some can be left earlier than others. Young puppies really do need a lot of your time and energy to get them through the initial weeks of toilet training and teething but it does get easier.

Good luck and have fun with your pup x

At 18 months we’ve left ours for 5 hours and he has been fine, it’s more than I’d like regularly, but life isn’t perfect. I expect we could do longer, but won’t. At 9 months he had me under house arrest.

Things change quickly.

8 weeks is too young to leave the mother as I understood it, I thought 12 weeks was the appropriate age. Definitely too young to be home alone that long I'd have thought, dog sitter should be ok as long as they're fully briefed.

Short answer no. We have a 9 year old border collie and a 17 month old BC. We have recently worked up to once leaving them for 5 hours,to visit relatives. We worked up from a few minutes,an hour,3 hours, then 5 but that was a one off to go to relatives. We put a camera in the living room to see what they got up to. They have 50 ft of garden fenced off for them,a dog flap and we always have 2 dogs. When the youngest was under a year,my DD would pop round. I don't trust my dogs to a stranger (yes,had one unfortunate incident and that was it,)

This is incorrect. The ideal age to get a puppy is 8 or 9 weeks, it is vital from a socialisation perspective to get them as early as possible.

But yes, definitely far too young to be left alone.

I know there's a lot of chat on here about what age a puppy should leave its mother. Our borders were all 8 weeks,apart from the last one,7 weeks, fully weaned mum not interested in the pups anymore, and she was happy because we've had so many borders..my vet of over 25 years would say earlier the better to socialise.

Not ok no. You can't go to the classes and leave puppy alone. Puppy has to be priority here

We got one of our Pyreneans at 7 weeks, we already had an adult male Pyr at home and the little girl pup was very outgoing so it worked brilliantly. The breeder agreed purely on the basis of our experience with the breed. That pup was our fourth, current puppy is our eighth and we got her at 8 weeks.

It's perfectly legal to re-home puppies at eight weeks.

The optimal age varies depending on breed and who you ask. We didn't bring our beagle home until 12 weeks - he could go straight for walks and he had less than a handful of accidents in the house, whereas I know people who really struggled in that first month because of how restrictive it was.

I think ultimately if your puppy comes from a good breeder who is committed to socialising and training from day one, it shouldn't make a huge amount of long-term difference either way.

OP, if your parents can't do it, look around for puppy sitters. I would have gone completely stark staring bonkers if I could never have left my puppy at all, as I live alone with him and work a lot from home too. But I wasn't willing to leave him till he was ready, and like @CoubousAndTourmalet , I've not really left him at all. Puppy sitters were my lifeline so I could go to the gym and keep on going to piano lessons. They're not always cheap but once a week should be manageable. If you're willing to take a bit more of a gamble, it's worth looking at Rover.com.

Get yourself onto Borrow my Doggy. I have had an extremely positive experience with this site. Pay for the premium membership so you can reply to people.

Surely not with a tiny baby pup though...?

The last thing I would do is trust my tiny puppy with a random stranger on the internet.

Your call … a dog walker/sitter would be a stranger too. As I said I’ve had a very positive experience with it.

OP I'm surprised at some of the responses you're getting for asking your parents to help.

Surely in many families it's normal for family members to help each other out, especially if someone is going through a really difficult time having had a break up like the OP has done?

I hope your parents are able to and happy to help and that you get to your class- if not now then in a few months.