Need a handhold/advice

[4legsgood39]

After a lot of thought about what we could offer a dog and carefully considering what breed would be a good fit, we adopted a 12 week puppy from a reputable rescue charity. (We’d previously been turned down for various dogs, rightly, because the charity felt we couldn’t meet their more complex needs.)

Unfortunately our pup has had a lot of behavioural issues (plus they and we have been unlucky in getting various nasty infections since the adoption, although now sorted thankfully.) She isn’t anything like typical for her breed-more like a working dog in that she needs about 10 hours stimulation/attention a day, very high energy and not at all east going.

We’ve been trying really hard, spending lots of time and money on training, behavioural help, walks, interesting toys, and some doggy daycare to help keep us sane (she adores the family she goes to and literally leaps into their arms when they come to pick her up.)

We thought maybe it was us, although working with a behaviourist from the charity who has done various tests, they have said she is way over the “normal” dog levels for anxiety and frustration, is right at the extreme end, and so it’s no wonder we’ve been finding things hard.

I realise we were a bit niaive but are first time puppy owners and we were upfront about our situation and limitations-one of us can nearly always be around but we both work part-time, live in a small-ish flat (with garden and near parks) and I have a health condition which limits my energy levels. We’ve found out since adopting that it’s well-known, and was even something someone from the charity said to us after the adoption, that puppies with her start in life (breeding in bad conditions) are much more likely to develop these sorts of issues.

We’re working on various strategies to help our puppy self-soothe and may have to look into medication for a short time to bring down her anxiety. She’s scared of many things and is barking for hours a day as she’s so anxious and sound sensitive.

Behaviourist is now saying it could be another 6-8 months before she calms down as she’s going into teenhood.

Just feeling worried how we are going to cope as the stress and amount of time we’re spending on training etc. is causing arguments. Also feeling guilty and sad-if we’d been given a heads up on this before we adopted we might not hade gone ahead and she could have gone to a better equipped home. Or at least we could have been prepared and got support in place sooner. We both adore her and really don’t want to rehome her, especially as assuming that would be difficult now as she has known issues?

Any encouragement or advice would be very welcome.

On my phone as we speak to give her the signal she’s not getting attention…after 10 mins or so she seems to be settling…fingers-crossed

My first dog was an anxious mess who I got unsocialised at 10 months old. The good news is that a couple of years later he was 'nearly normal' and no one who hadn't met him at the start would believe the description of how he began. It wasn't easy and I wondered what I'd taken on multiple times but I miss him hugely now.

I would really recommend having a look at these two books.

Dog training behaviour solutions (the book collecting the articles from the Facebook group mentioned earlier)

And

Be right back - puppy separation anxiety support

Both involve time and effort but have some good, ethical, advice and things you can start to build on straight away.

If you are a more visual learner I also liked KikoPup on YouTube although their videos are less specific to your immediate problems.

A thing to understand is that a dog settling has to be taught/learnt. There are training 'games' that can help this. There are also ways to set up the environment to give them confidence to go away from you at their choice.

One (or both, I can't remember) also introduces 'hatting' which is like a previous poster mentioned about their dog selling whilst they are in the phone. You choose a consistent cue (could just be a specific hat) which shows them that you're unavailable whilst you're wearing it. Not physically distant, just not present to fuss or play with them.

Good luck, I hope it goes well, but do take your time to think about what is best for everyone and whether everyone is able to get on board. It is not weak or wrong if you need to accept it might drive the family apart or limit your life too significantly to carry on as you are.

Good luck!

His stools were loose from day 1. We met a random lady in the park who suggested poor behaviour was linked to diet. So I eliminated chicken and he improved a bit. Then we noticed other food would give him a bad belly. His stools would go from normal to loose within an hour of eating something that disagreed with him so it was easy to guess what to avoid. Eventually got him tested and he's intolerant of lamb, beef, chicken, salmon, grains, potato, sweet potato. He's now raw fed duck, pork or turkey. Manufactured food or kibble nearly always contains sweet potato or salmon oil. Most difficult thing is finding suitable treats.

We used this company for a free intolerance test

https://www.healthyoptionpetfood.com/intolerance-test/

Thanks so much. I’ll look into this

It like you’ve got to be generally preoccupied that’s why it works when I’m on phone to friend..they seem to really really know it’s futile and have realized they completely loose me so give up any attention seeking behaviour. And I’ve completely forgotten them! I must be giving off a snakes that tells them. Completely accidentally discovered tactic by me!

sounds good with phone..fingers crossed

Smells!!! Not snakes

I'm not at all suggesting you change your entire personality! 🤣 just that it can be something to be aware of if you are a thoughtful person, which you clearly are.

Morning 4legs, I wouldn't have a clue how to find the old post. Basically the family wanted a puppy, never had one before,ok of course,there has to be a first. Gave details of their lifestyle, which got more complicated by the minute....not the actual lifestyle,that's why I put that we got 2 puppies in 6 months, and I was working ft with kids. (You've doubtless seen me flying over with the red/white and blue costume 🤣) They were expecting to take this puppy to the beach and it's going to sit there while they're swimming and playing on the beach. The toy we lost last year Leo,he was almost 18, and he only once sat on the beach with me and the gks when he was about 14! We live 10 minutes away from the beach,in fact going soon. Normally,you sat down for a drink whatever,he would grumble, and stamp his front paws,he didn't want to be idle. I know 2 people,a relative and a neighbour, got dogs during lockdown,who obviously were used to folk being around all the time and have issues., one has allergies,both have behaviour issues. The socialising was no excuse because you were allowed to excercise for an hour a day, the dogs are 3/4 and flaming nightmares. The neighbours have re-homed. I've had rescues in the past,3, only one was successful. My gut told me he was genuine,he had just been diagnosed with ms,no money changed hands. One from the RSPCA and one from the Blue Cross were both extremely aggressive and returned.. I got my previous dog, before I retired, because Leo didn't like being the only dog,he sat by the door crying,there was a gap of time before me leaving for the night shift and DH coming home,so we got a puppy! We've always had 2 dogs, and Leo was in fact the 3rd,cat substitute him. I felt really weird trundling along with DH and him having a dog on a lead. It didn't sit right. Oddly enough, about personality, we're pretty laid back, I had 4 DKs, would have had more,(no, I don't live in a pigsty,I'm actually very fussy,tidy) our dogs are relaxed. I have some very neurotic friends, guess what their dogs are like! I hope you find a path for you and your dog,you have some good advice on here. We do need a picture.

I started by hiding some bits of kibble around the house, garden , hidden in old tea shirts, anything. Then tried hiding her favourite toys ( balls, kong), I still do this on bad weather days if she doesn't get a second outing. I then bought a scent kit , small tins with screw top lids, put cotton earbuds dipped in birch oil inside them then hide them away. I use the command find and she gets her favourite ball as rewards. I also do " find "out on walks using an old glove just to ensure her walks are more than chasing the ball etc.

Yes of course I knew what you meant 😂definitely something for us to bear in mind. Her personality/temperament is so changeable and we find it hard, but we should work on not taking it to heart

Thanks for sharing 😊

Here’s a pic

This is really helpful thanks-some great ideas here!

You are welcome, it's not easy! But it does get so much better.

I’ve got one like this. The noise sensitivity is really, really hard so I understand. Absolutely pursue the meds - the dog is not happy being anxious. Some good advice on here. Good luck!