Advice needed!

[WhatHaveIdone345]

Help! I just adopted a 7 month old puppy - advertised as a mix breed rolly poly dog, looooves people, basic training done, house trained, would make a great therapy dog , size small to medium

I thought this sounded great, as I have austistic children and this would fit our family.
Well, he arrived and he's huge. And not house trained. And does not know how to walk in a lead. And definitely does not like people! He shys away and won't let me pat him. The rescue lady who dropped him off said he would likely be a bit nervous.

It took me ages to catch him and put him in his crate and now hes in there howling. My children are sobbing because they can't cope with the noise. I've messaged the rescue place and they've said oh thats normal for the first day.

Is it??? I feel like the dog is the opposite of what we wanted 😭😭😭

Have you had a dog before ?

It is totally normal OP, he’s in a strange place with strange people, he needs time to adjust to his new surroundings. We got our pup at 8 weeks old and he was exactly the same, they need some time to settle in.

You didn’t meet the dog before?

when you say adopted? From an actual rescue?

Also when did he arrive?

What kind of vetting did the rescue do before placing the dog with you? What is the dog’s history? Where was he before?

They advertised him on fb, all the photos nake him look really tiny - I realize now the chose specific angles. I've got an overwhelming horrible feeling we have taken on a dog we cannot cope with - nothing about his behavior suggests therapy dog with basic training. I think I'm looking at a large untrained dog thats been abandoned and I just want to join my children in crying.

Were you not able to visit the dog several times before you decided to commit to him?
Without meaning to sound harsh, I really feel for the dog - new environment, new people.
I am only asking as we adopted a dog several weeks ago from an animal charity and were able to meet him several times at his foster home, take him for walks etc so that we at least had a general idea if he was suitable for us and vice versa. The foster carer was able to tell us about his temperament and needs eg food, health and we still keep in regular contact and we know that she is there for any advice etc.
Without doing any of this I’m sorry but it sounds like maybe you have rushed into something and it isn’t fair on everyone involved.

Ps if you are going to keep him I suggest getting booked onto dog training courses ie dogs trust. We had some really invaluable 1-1 training sessions and learnt so much.

If they didn’t vet you thoroughly this was no bona fide rescue, plus you should have spent time with the dog before.

its usual for a dog to be distressed in a new location. This is unusual for a supposedly trained therapy dog

I am sorry Op but you have really messed up here.
I am assuming you paid for this dog so you have actually bought it rather than rescued it?
What made you think it would be a "therapy dog"? Its not a case of buying a dog and designating it as one
IF it was a Rescue you should have had a home visit and been to see the dog yourself a couple of times with the whole family and I doubt that happened.
What you should do now is give the dog back to the "Rescue" but I very much doubt that is going to be possible
7 months is prime getting rid of puppies territory as they hit teenage years and turn into arseholes a lot of the time.
Absolute bloody mess, poor dog

This is also a good point about vetting you- we had to go through a pretty rigorous process to see if we were suitable for the dog and that everybody in the household was onboard.
A decent charity /shelter would do this.

Sounds like a bog standard crappy rescue centre that couldn't be arsed to check the dog was going to the right home (a good rescue would never rehome with young children unless they properly vetted them).

The behaviour is completely normal but if you and your kids want to cry, then a rescue dog isn't for you. It takes three months for a 'good' ( well rounded with no poor prior experience) rescue dog to settle in. You're looking at six months to a year for one who has been abused or traumatised. Likely longer.

So, you need to decide if you are in it for the long haul. Being blunt though, I don't think you'll cope. Take the dog back and please do not get a puppy - they are even worse.

We have owned dogs before - also rescues, who were a bit unsettled the first night, but very happy to be patted and reasured. I messaged the rescue lady about his shying away and refusing to be petted and she said thats just his personality?!?

By an actual rescue? You have checked the background of the recuse?

It’s really bad practice (and unusual) for them to let you have a dog you haven’t met. Did they do any checks on you?

What’s the name of the rescue, if you don’t mind saying?

What breed is the dog?

But honestly, the dog is going to be stressed out. And chasing them to put them in a crate isn’t going to help. Lots of dogs will howl, or be nervous when they arrive and make noise.

How long has he had to settle in?

’would make a great therapy dog’ makes no sense. What therapy? For what conditions? What training did they claim a 7 month old puppy had, had to know it would make a good therapy dog.

I think you may need to phone this ‘rescue’ back and get them to take the dog. If they won’t, then find an actual rescue to place him with.

It sounds like the rescue, isn’t a rescue at all. Please do not try and resell or rehome the dog yourself. The dog deserves to be treated properly.

and please don’t adopt another dog if you aren’t prepared for it to be nervous, noisy (at least at first) not trained to exactly the way you want it. Whoever gave him to you sounds awful. But, gently, I think you have unrealistic expectations of a new dog in your home.

Sounds like your naivety has been used to get rid of a big bouncy puppy,
However, it takes a minimum of 3 days for a dog to decompress enough to recognise they are safe but 3 months to feel secure.
Sounds like the puppy hasn’t been crate trained and is feeling trapped and overwhelmed with this massive change of environment. Does he have to be crated?
I would recommend a 1-1 trainer if you can afford it - essential if you are a first time dog owner.
In the meantime, look online for reward based training and get some high value, small treats and use them whilst puppy is on the lead in the house and garden.
You need to be hypervigilant for good behaviour and reward instantly. Don’t try to introduce too many new behaviours at once but do repeat frequently commands the pup is responding well to so he learns what response leads to a treat.
Please give him a chance, he is very confused and probably scared/anxious. This won’t be solved overnight but if you persevere you can have a wonderful family pet.

This. Poor dog, he’s probably shit scared. Op, you obvs have a lot on your plate, but if you have had dogs before you must know the work that goes in. If you aren’t prepared/don’t have the time don’t take on a dog. Hand him back, probably the kindest thing to do, unless you are prepared to put the work and training in.

This.

Poor dog and poor you. You've both been let down by this 'rescue' who really should have supported you through this process. They said he matched what you were looking for so if his personality is to shy away from people I can't see how that fits in with the therapy dog suggestion from them. They should have pointed out to you what his needs were and what to expect - did they?

I can recommend you look at DTAS (Dog Training Advice and Support) on Facebook - they have free guides on their page that you will need to read that contains loads of really good info. However those guides will very much point out that for any new dog you have to give up time (weeks!) and support your dog through this transition - putting him in his crate and leaving him to cry will not settle your dog, who is a sentient animal that has just arrived in your home and has done nothing wrong. From his perspective his whole world has just changed and he will feel stressed (new smells, new people etc) and be picking up your and your children's stress too.

You can either choose to put the work in or tell the rescue he isn't the right dog for you and ask them to collect.

I think this is a really useful guide to what to expect when rehoming a dog. Their behaviour will change hugely in a few months. However, you need to think about whether or not the dog was fairly represented when you took him on.

I'm going to be a bit harsh here, but what on earth were you thinking when you decided to bring a strange dog you'd never met into your home?

If you've had dogs before, you must know that you've made an incredibly foolish and potentially very dangerous decision.

This dog needs to go back to the "rescue" and you really need to do some proper research before getting another animal.

I absolutely have messed up here. I feel so sorry for the dog. For now though, how do I settle the dog? They said he was crate trained and house trained, but he hates the crate and fights to get out of it, then poops through the house. Our garden is huge and he runs off and will not come when called.

They said he was trained, I do not have the capacity to train a dog, I would never have adopted him if I knew he wasn't trained.

Is it possible he is in fact trained, but just super super unsettled? And how can I help settle him? I've tried dog food, dog treats, chicken and cheese so far

I wouldn't do anything with him - I would leave him well alone with food and water and get the rescue to come and collect him.

You have no idea what his temperament is and he could very easily bite someone if he's genuinely as frightened and as untrained as you say.

They said he was trained, I do not have the capacity to train a dog, I would never have adopted him if I knew he wasn't trained

All 7 months old dogs will require ongoing training irrespective of background. You need to return if you don't have the capacity to do any training.

However, saying that, this is clearly not a proper rescue and I suspect you may find yourself blocked and stuck with this dog.

I’d Ignore him. Stop chasing him, trying to stroke him or feed him. Make sure he’s got a safe space - crate might now feel too much as you’ve chased him and forced him in - and access to good and water. Will take a while got him to relax, he’s a baby in a new environment.