Which small dog for a big family?

[HBGKC]

Hello MN, I'm after your expertise on which small-medium dog breed would be the best shout for our large family.

My eldest daughters (22&20, will be at home for a few years yet) really want to get a dog. I've made it clear that they will be responsible for it/its mess/its costs/exercise/meals etc

Our youngest child is 2, loves animals, & is used to our neighbour's cat who spends a lot of time in our house. We also have 5,8 & 10 year old girls (and a couple more older ones but don't want to out myself!)

There is always someone at home, so a breed that wants company pretty much round the clock would suit us well.

Exercise - an hour a day we could easily manage

Low-shedding pls!

Don't mind even daily grooming, as there's enough of us to take turns, as long as it's fairly simple to learn how to do.

In a terraced house, and I'm noise-sensitive, so not a yappy breed or one prone to incessant barking.

My research has thrown up: bichon frise, poodles (miniature?), Maltese (my DDs don't like the look of those tho)... they live all the cute Daschund & Cavalier crossbreeds, which I'm trying to warn them against...

Any advice welcome

Border Terrier ?
I've never owned one but all the ones I've known look like a Steiff Teddy Bear that is swearing under it's 'tasche .

Proper terriers IMO .

Rescue is always the best breed for any family

She won't get a rescue with a two year old in the house.

To be fair, she shouldn’t get a puppy with a 2 year old either.

@toomanytonotice Lindcoly is a business - thank goodness as Cairns are on endangered list in UK. I am on lots of Cairn sites and Cairn rescue and I can assure you and the OP her pups are much sought after due to their good nature.

Yep, totally agree with you.

Or because her young adult children would like one .

Daschunds are barky little buggers so definitely cross them off the list.

Spell it out for me - why is a puppy incompatible with a 2 year old? (Genuine question.)

It's not. We got a puppy, cocker spaniel as it goes, when my DC was 2. They are the absolute best of friends.
Luckily mine has ample exercise and no resource guarding or any issues. But I think if you choose the right breed, introduce them when your child is young they grow up together and it's lovely to watch

Imagine a toddler without a nappy, that poos and wees everywhere, that bites and scratches you but also eats all your belongings to the extent they may need operations at approx £3k to remove socks and scarves, that howls when toddler has just gone to sleep, that still needs walking when toddler has chicken pox, and may cry at 3am if they think it's morning. Now imagine that toddler crawling through the poo and wee while you're on the phone to the vet as the puppy looks weird, hasn't pood for three days and you're missing three socks, plus two shoes from separate pairs have been destroyed.

You've tried a stairgate but puppy cries. You've given up with stairgate but toddler cries as puppy has stolen toy they were playing with and scratched them on the face twice.

Now imagine toddler has D&V. While you've gone to get wipes, puppy has taken pooey nappy from the floor, chewed it, has licked baby on the face with pooey tongue and is half way through their pile of vomit.

That's why.

Gross

I'm going to copy and paste that & send to my DDs!

I have a pure CKCS and she's amazing. Loves to be with the family, happy to go for a walk or veg in the house, not yappy, and adores kids.

Cavalier wouldn’t be a bad choice as long as they’re from good lines - very prone to heart disease but certain breeders have essentially eradicated it from their breeding stock. Consider good insurance for ANY dog you choose.

Dedicated is right.
Discover Dogs at Crufts is great to see different breeds. Then
approach the breed club. Decent breeders don’t breed often (so you won’t necessarily get to choose a summer pup!) and won’t have snazzy websites or even advertise. Check for the specialist health tests parents should have prior to breeding.
You mention £££. Dogs can be expensive. Get decent insurance and budget for things like daycare or groomers or training.
An hour a day isn’t much for many breeds so that’s a consideration.

I would also say cavalier (health tested parents)
Border terrier
Whippet
Small lurcher
Wire haired daschund (very prone to spinal issues)
Staffie

I wholeheartedly agree with this. Like you, I have experience in welfare but for a different breed. I think a Cairn terrier would suit the family very well. I'd look for a puppy either via the UK breed club or on

www.champdogs.co.uk/breeds/cairn-terrier/breeders

Champdogs breeders are generally pretty good with health testing both mum and dad.

Good luck OP!

Yes @DedicatedCakeEater has done a fabulous and vivid job there of painting you an accurate picture. I would also add to that about puppy blues. I don’t know how well your children have slept, or how 2yr old sleeps - but the first months with a puppy had me feeling PNDish in a way my kids did not! Broken sleep, crying, pissing and shitting everywhere, you can’t leave them alone in a room for a while, because they eat stupid stuff and need stomach pumped. You can’t leave them in the house for months, but they can’t walk for more than 20min for months. I really hated it at first. Oh and still on
occasion I hear a specific bark from our Goldie that means my 5yr old has gone too far pulling his leg or trying to dress him in something. Even the gentlest dogs get pushed to their limits by young kids.

My in laws have had several Cairns for
Lindcoly. They have always been lovely and brilliant with our kids and cats. Our border terrier and miniature schnauzer on the other hand aren't as placid!

You've got eight kids in a terraced house, and you want another creature to feed, clean up after, nurse, walk etc? I think you're mad.

Is this a thing about your 2yo being your last child and wanting a dog to cosset?

Personally, I'd be telling older kids they can get their own dogs when they move out. You get one now, they post insta of themselves with the cute puppy, leave the next 15 years of dog care to you.

And yes, from what I've seen of dogs having one with a two year old as well is a recipe for stress. Could leave you unable to enjoy either tot or pup fully.

I don't mean to sound rude, it just seems bonkers to me!

Oh how could I have forgotten puppy blues- totally forgot the standing in garden thinking 'what the fuck have I done?' moments, crying miserably.

All worked out very well in the end but I didn't have a toddler.

Are you me?!

I second a shih tzu great dogs

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Edited as misread

Puppies pee, poo and vomit on your floors.
Puppies need taking out to the toilet every 20-30 minutes during the day.
Puppies chew and destroy anything left on the floor (toys, nappies) and as PP said, they will also eat any bodily fluids your toddler leaves behind
Puppies jump, scratch and bite and will often draw blood in play.

All the recommended advice is to wait until the youngest child is in school before getting a puppy so you're not toilet training two babies at once, and actually have the time to dedicate to the puppy.

Say both your toddler and your puppy have an accident, which one do you go to first? Where do you put the puppy while dealing with the toddler and vice versa?

How are you going to manage toilet training a puppy when you have a toddler who can't be left alone in the house? What about walks, vet trips, school runs?