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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Elderly, incontinence what to do for best?

30 replies

lifeparadox333 · 17/05/2024 08:01

Please advised we have an almost 16 yo border terrier, otherwise fine no long term health issue but losing weight skinny and major incontinence now, peeing lakes and now in a plastic bed as started weeing in his bed and lying in it, I'm really struggling it's been 1.5 yrs now and I'm trying my best but have. Sick father and step father also dealing with and it's all getitng too much, he's otherwise fine and still manages short walks what do we do, how long do I need to keep going with him, feel so bad for him and for asking but I don't know what is the norm or not, is it fair on him is it normal to keep cleaning it up or is it time maybe?

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeparadox333 · 17/05/2024 08:06

We cover his entire floor in utility where he is with floor pads but the smell is bad also as sometimes he scratches up the mats and it gets on the floor, we let him out as often as we can too but somedays it's next to nothing but somedays it's constant he's been on antibiotics a lot for urine issues but how long do we keep on with this I have so much on atm as had to have surgery last wk too and I think it's all got on top of me finding Out my step dads unwell too x

OP posts:
EdithStourton · 17/05/2024 08:16

It's time.
If he's losing condition and can't walk far he's obviously not feeling great. Dogs don't suddenly start lying in their urine if they are even reasonably well.

lifesabitchandthenyoudie · 17/05/2024 08:18

So sorry you're having to deal with this. It is always difficult when our beloved pets get older, it's hard to know what to do for the best sometimes. For me it's always been about making sure my friend doesn't suffer. When they get that 'look' in their eyes that shows they're just too tired of fighting it. Although with our last dog we went for a bit earlier as she had cancer and so we decided to just nip it in the bud, gave her one last blast of a week where she was spoiled rotten then said goodbye.

It sounds like he's basically well, though, but it's more about the other problems you've got and the mess. So it makes the decision more difficult. That said, he has had a good run and is likely distressed by the urinating. Have the vets not found the cause of it? How long has he been on antibiotics? If the antibiotics can fix the problem then he may improve. Can you talk to your vet about it?

But you also need to look after yourself - selfcare is essential especially when you have other people to look after. I don't think you should feel guilty if you need to make the decision to put your ddog to sleep, it would simply be a good end for him with no more struggles or suffering after a good life. Sorry no magic solution, just a few thoughts. Be gentle with yourself xx

Itsneverme · 17/05/2024 08:18

I would say it is his time now, not only is it hard work for you but I can imagine it's not nice for him either especially as he is sleeping in his urine at night. It is so heartbreaking when you love them so much but sometimes we have to break our hearts for love.

TheSandgroper · 17/05/2024 08:25

If you want further information, one way is to measure his water intake each day. One water bowl only, weigh or measure what you put in and 24 hours later measure it what’s left.

But based on my experience, excessive urination plus losing condition is giving you a very strong signal that something is very wrong. SandyDog had this but only for about ten days before she died. However, her lungs were almost solid with tumours so they must have been cooking for months but she never showed it until those last ten days.

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 17/05/2024 08:27

The last act of love is the hardest. It's time.

Bananadramallamas · 17/05/2024 08:36

I'd say it's time, too. Do the last kind thing you can for him. It's incredibly hard, I know.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 09:17

I'm so sorry OP but I think it's time to let him go Flowers

Trixibella · 17/05/2024 12:46

Dogs will do almost anything to avoid lying in their own urine or faeces. It’s extremely distressing for them.

It would be so very kind to let him go now. You would be doing exactly the right thing for him.

Original poster
lifeparadox333 · 17/05/2024 13:49

Thank you so much all for the replies and advice! It's been one hell of a month, he's been doing the wees for a while now and we've kept with him but this last few wks it's occ in his bed now which is harder as needs a bath as smells so bad after, I've got a lot on with my health atm, my Dad and my step dad has suspected prostate it's all just coming at me from all angles it's unreal, he's almost 16 now so he's done really well, I'll talk to my husband when he's back and try and decide what we're going to do for him. Thanks again much appreciated! Xxx

OP posts:
abracadabra1980 · 17/05/2024 13:53

Bless you. It's his time. At that age he has had a great lifespan and undoubtedly a wonderful life with you. Please stay with him when he is pts. Your scent will be a great comfort.
As the saying goes - many people regret leaving pts too late, but nobody regrets doing it a day too early.
So sorry you are having to care for family members - I've just been through it - for years - and it really takes its toll.
Sending hugs 🤗 and strength. X

Original poster
lifeparadox333 · 17/05/2024 13:58

@abracadabra1980 thanks you so much for such a lovely reply! I abs will be with him, I could never not be there it's so sad, it's going to be so hard but it's been so much, my dads got care in and close to a home, step dads just been diag diabetes and suspected prostate being seen in couple wks, I'm only 39 so it all feels like such a lot!!! Had my dog at 22 and he's done so well but not now, he's had antibiotics for uti a few times his body's just old now such a shame

Xxx

OP posts:
abracadabra1980 · 17/05/2024 20:42

You can do this. Try and compartmentalise each stresser separately, even if it’s every 30 minutes. The intense stress will pass, I promise. Have faith in your resilience, and see your GP if not (I had to for continual weeping and anger and resentment over the caring) - Sertraline were a life saver for me, but there are loads of SSRI/SRNI’s to try. At the moment it seems like doggy is at the top of the mental list. Once you’ve dealt with that, you will cope with the rest. Xx

abracadabra1980 · 18/05/2024 08:13

lifeparadox333 · 17/05/2024 13:58

@abracadabra1980 thanks you so much for such a lovely reply! I abs will be with him, I could never not be there it's so sad, it's going to be so hard but it's been so much, my dads got care in and close to a home, step dads just been diag diabetes and suspected prostate being seen in couple wks, I'm only 39 so it all feels like such a lot!!! Had my dog at 22 and he's done so well but not now, he's had antibiotics for uti a few times his body's just old now such a shame

Xxx

22 is an amazing age. May I ask what breed he is? I know a Patterdale who is 18, they seem to have longevity in the genes as a breed. I have a giant breed at the moment so no such long lived expectations sadly-but I knew that from day one 🫤

lifesabitchandthenyoudie · 18/05/2024 08:15

@abracadabra1980 gently pointing out that the op's dog is 16 Border Terrier (original post), she had him from when she was age 22 is how I read her reply x

abracadabra1980 · 18/05/2024 08:15

Apologies I see you said he is a border terrier - another breed with a great lifespan. X

Original poster
lifeparadox333 · 18/05/2024 08:48

@abracadabra1980 this brilliant and thank you so much for taking the time to reply with this too! He is sadly top of the list atm as weeing such a lot, sorry he's almost 16, I had him when I was 22 so he's been with us a while, I'm considering holding on to him for the rest of summer then deciding, it's much easier now he can go outside in the garden I think I reached my peak as I'd found out my dad may have prostate and I was struggling with recovery after a surgery last wk it all
Jjsy got so much and felt like I need to relieve a stressor as it felt like it was all
Coming me. I'm strong and I'll keep going but some days it's so heavy isn't it! Sertraline may not be a bad idea and I have considered this in the past I think I'd have picked up quicker tbh but thank you for the tips xx

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 18/05/2024 08:50

EdithStourton · 17/05/2024 08:16

It's time.
If he's losing condition and can't walk far he's obviously not feeling great. Dogs don't suddenly start lying in their urine if they are even reasonably well.

This. So sorry but it is time. We've all been there and it's hard, but giving him a peaceful way out is the best you can do at this point.

Original poster
lifeparadox333 · 18/05/2024 08:51

Sorry for any confusion, my dog is almost 16, I had him when I was 22, he could plod on for another 2 yrs I'd suspect but the weeing is getting worse, I wondered if dog nappies were a thing but then he's need constant baths. Wasn't so bad until he started doing it in his plastic bed, not so bad atm but winter wiii be so cold for him so I think I'll hold out for summer with him and consider this seriously after then it's so hard as feel like I can't do it but it is becoming more of a problem 😔

OP posts:
acrossthebeach · 18/05/2024 08:54

Please don't hold on to him for the rest of the summer, the poor thing sounds like he's had a great life but has had enough. You have to put his needs first - I've been there so I know how tough it is to make the decision.

I dithered over it with our dog when we were at the same stage, especially as she wagged her tail when we went to the car for her final journey - I'm so glad I didn't back out. Better a week too soon than a week too late.

Lou670 · 18/05/2024 09:08

We are going through this at the moment with our just turned 18 Jack Russell. It's so tough. Mine is also almost blind with cataracts, almost deaf and has dementia and now seizures every few weeks.

Our vet has said to us that we wouldn't be wrong in deciding to let her go and not wrong in keeping her going. That makes it harder for me as I want them to make the decision for me. With our other dog who we lost a few years ago, it was obvious we had to let him go and the time was right. It is so hard when they are borderline and knowing the end is near but trying to keep them going.

We have got the puppy pads but my dog won't use them. We are fortunate in that there is no carpet downstairs so it easy to mop up, carpet would be a nightmare. Easier right now as the weather means I can leave the door open for her to go out in the garden.

So sorry you are going through this as well as everything else you are having to deal with. I hope you are able to reach a decision as to what to do.

Lellochip · 18/05/2024 09:10

Have you spoken to his vet about quality of life? Might be easier to get an honest but less emotional view on it from them, take some of the weight of the decision off you?

In the short term, you can get belly bands for them that help to contain accidents. Never used them, just aware they exist, and don't know how comfortable/tolerant he'd be etc, but something to look at?

ThePoetsWife · 18/05/2024 09:26

Please do the right thing.

This amount of peeing is NOT normal.

He is unwell and having to sleep in his own mess.

Having accidents must be really distressing as well.

fieldsofbutterflies · 18/05/2024 10:32

Your dog is sleeping in is own urine and having multiple accidents a day - you need to do the right thing now x

Words · 18/05/2024 10:43

Oh @Lou670 that so resonated with me. My darling was a JRT x Collie and I adored her.

Just like your situ she was borderline for months and every day I questioned myself and also begged vet to tell me when it was time, lest emotion overcame my judgment.

She was 18, eating well, back end going a bit, but enjoying life. Although I suspect she had doggy dementia.

The day came. I took her out for a last walk (how is that even conceivable). Let her off the lead and she galloped, slightly doddery, around the field.

She was with me for a few more months then had a horrible seizure so that was time.

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