Regret - does it improve

[Jasiseva]

First time poster.

we got our puppy 10 days ago after my cousins pup had babies. We have DD 10 and DS 7 and a cat and felt it was a good time to add to the mix.

fast forward and my husband has had an accident and broken his leg. He is now completely incapacitated and in a lot of pain.

I am so overwhelmed right now. Puppy will sleep in his crate from 10 to 4 and then whines and I have to try and keep him quiet so the children can sleep and husband can rest. I’m also working full time (but from home thankfully) but obviously have to help husband, work, take children to clubs, cook, clean and also look after pup.

hes wonderful and very sweet but obviously an absolute mischief and I worry I’m not addressing things fast enough so will end up with a naughty badly trained dog. Like I say, he sleeps for a long time in the crate but as he’s my first pup I don’t know if I’m doing things right.

this all feels like a massive mistake right now, just after reassurance that it will get better really!!

We were very lucky with our puppy. Can honestly count on one hand how many accidents he had in the house (we were very vigilant in the early days though)
Hardly any chewing-a small corner off a doormat and a couple of tooth marks on a table leg.
He did have quite an intense ‘shark’ phase though which made me have feelings of regret and worry at times.
But generally a great experience and I’m sure we wouldn’t be as lucky again!

We had 2 cockapoo puppies , both from same breeder , 2 weeks difference (different mums) and TOTALLY different dogs. 1 was fondly named as the Croc (amongst other names coz he was a nightmare) and he was literally none stop biting but he was toilet trained as soon as we had him at 8 weeks from the breeder. Never had an accident and even now I leave him at home and go to work and he's never done anything ...

The 2nd puppy was a dream dog , he was like a medical assistant dog he was so calm , so chilled , rarely knew we had him but we couldn't get him toilet trained. Even with the door open he would wee inside. He would wee on the carpet at the doorway with the door open !!

You can't say what behaviours you are going to get every dog is different but my crazy cockapoo is now just gone 2 and he's calming right down. You've just gotta be consistent .

They need lots of cuddles , attention and boundaries , like children.

The 'hold it' bit of the brain isn't fully developed until around 5 - 6 months so it's impossible. Ours had very few accidents - under 10 - in her first few months but that was constant vigilence and a good routine for meals and going out. Our last dog was incontinent from 5 until she died at 17 so we are very good at making sure things were done.

Now dog will go hours and hours - over 12 but we still put out after both meals and before bed as it's a good habit to get into.

Thank you to those of you that have provided reassurance and CONSTRUCTIVE advice.

To those small amount of posts that have jumped to ridiculous conclusions and judgemental comments, do you really think we as a family would undertake a decision like this without thinking it through. My husband also works from home which should mean we have two fully functioning at home to manage pup appropriately. We have done all the research, prepped the house, signed up for training classes (gun dog as he is a spaniel) and have been planning for pup from the second my cousin said she was going to have a litter from her dog. I didn’t plan for him to break his leg and be unable to do the things we had hoped to be able to do.

we aren’t neglecting pup, we are certainly training him as best we can, but I came on here in the hope that I would find like minded supportive people. The very fact that I reached out on here rather than just locking pup in a cage 24/7 should be evidence of that. I hope that if you ever need advice on anything the support will be there for you.

Aww congratulations on your new addition!
My boy Westie is 8 now( very stubborn with it!) and I remember the puppy blues and found it harder than my newborns
It DOES get better and soon you won't imagine life without your joyous bundle I promise
Could you find a short term dog Walker?
They will soon pick up toilet training and I would use puppy pads short term.. and spread them around. I used incontinence pads as they worked out cheaper bigger and more absorbent
Maybe get them used to a cuddly teddy bear or similar Mine loves his Kong comfort kiddos and takes it to bed with him

OP, I had huge puppy blues after getting our spaniel - we’d planned/researched/looked forward to his arrival for so long but it hit me like a ton of bricks really. So overwhelming and that was with older kids than yours and a DH without a broken leg so it’s no wonder you’re feeling as you are!

Will the pup doze back off with you at 4am cuddled up on sofa? We did have that phase but he was sleeping until a much more respectable 6am quite quickly! The good thing with puppies is the difficult phases do tend to pass quite quickly. Our house also looked like we were about to move for the first 6 months as I pretty much put everything puppy height into plastic boxes - not the most attractive but it’s so much easier to manage!

He’s now 2 and honestly I can’t describe how much happiness he brings and how much I adore him. So much so we’ve started the process of looking for another one………. It will get better, hang in there

This must be where I went wrong with the chewing. I forgot to put the bannisters under lock and key when I popped round to the corner shop.

Yes, it does improve, I promise you!! I remember myself and DH sitting on the back doorstep sobbing about a week after we got our first pup - she was 16 weeks and we were her third home, and we were absolutley sure we were going to have to send her back! Needless to say, we didn't, and we had thirteen wonderful years with her. It's shocking timing with your husband's leg, but this too shall pass, and with patience and consistency, you will end up with an awesome little buddy (and a hell of a story to tell her when she's grown up!)

Don’t stress @Jasiseva , any mistakes made now can be corrected . We got our dog when he was about 16/18 weeks old from Battersea , he had never been in a house and completely untrained in any aspect and he has turned out to be a lovely well rounded pet . With regards to the chewing and house training ours chewed once and never touched anywhere / thing else and took ages to get peeing outside .

We got our puppy when our 3 kids were little and i massively regretted it for a good few months. I did find once she had her jabs and could go for a run over the field it really go a lot easier. I could wear her out and she would sleep. After a year I could never have imagined life without her. We all adored her Keep going and I promise they do grow up and become sensible !!

Sorry to say ours is 1. Year old and I still regret getting her! Wish I could rewind time 😔

Please ignore the unpleasant comments @Jasiseva - it happens every time on here and I have no idea why. It's like some people enjoy kicking others when they're down.

I hope things get better - I suspect when your puppy is vaccinated and allowed on some walks then things will get much, much easier.

Sorry to hear that. Is it for any particular reason?

We’ve been lucky so far with potty training and he already signals when he wants to go out for a wee. Obviously the odd accident but about 75% of the time is outside.

A dog walker would be a good idea thank you.

How you are feeling now will fade and in 6 months, you will look at the little pup and say we got there.

Hopefully.

How you are feeling is normal. I actually don't know anyone who got a pup, me included, ( moons ago )who hasn't thought, was it a mistake, at some stage.

My friend now has a puppy and he's on his 5th remote control and 3rd phone cover and the bugger nicks his breakfast if he leaves the room for a second.

The way you write shows ❤️ love.

It all falls on you at the moment but it won't in the future.

Why not join a puppy training evening class where you can make friends. Take your eldest so they can take some responsibility too. Or go alone and a broken leg is perfectly capable of of having the children while you have that time with pup.

Pups are a nightmare and we all think we will be brilliant owners and fail miserably at points.

You are not alone but it does get easier.

All of this. I don't think there is anyone on the puppy survival thread that hasn't been in tears. Training is a great way to build the bond. The more you do, the more you understand your dog & the easier it all gets. Be prepared for some going backwards at time, but it will probably all be fine in the end

I would get the kids doing stuff (at 10 and 7 they’re more than capable of doing plenty). I would get them helping with washing, kids that age should (hopefully) be able to operate washing machine and dryer.

the 10 year old can weigh the dog food and feed the dog, fill up its water.

get the kids on YouTube looking at training videos, and they should be able to do the usual sit, paw, lie down that sort if thing. At that age I would have loved that, YouTube was still a couple years off being a thing when I was that age, so I used books.

i would also see if you can get a dog walker to pop in and let him out, and then when he’s vaccinated and able to go outside outside, they can take him for a short walk (puppies should only be doing about 5 minutes per month twice a day) so say the puppy is 4 months that’d be 20 minutes max of twice a day.

also, maybe a cleaner (even for a hour or two a week or so) whilst your husband is laid up, just to help a bit, if you can afford it.

Oo. Mention of a cleaner has made me remember ‘robot vacuum cleaner’. Ran it round at night. Instant psychological boost.

I broke my ankle a few days before picking up our longed for pup - he's 6.5 months old now.
Picture mid January, brand new pup and me hobbling in and out for toilet training, it was the absolute worst time. I completely regretted getting him at first, lost nearly a stone in weight due to the anxiety of it all.
My husband and I work opposite shifts, so he would only be able to help when off duty, which is kind of what we had planned anyway. I would be in tears most days, a lot of it was frustration due to enforced inactivity.
On the flip side I was off work due to ankle and could hobble a little better in an air boot after 2 weeks.
I was home solidly with our pup for 7 weeks.
House trained and sleeping all night from 10 weeks old.
He's now my shadow, we have an incredible bond.
Despite the ankle, he was well socialized - I get a lot of comments now about how friendly and sweet he is. He's still a bit of a shit at loose lead walking, he can do it but when it suits him!

I still get days where I think I'm not cut out for it, still feel massively overwhelmed. My stomach is in knots trying to find a home boarder for him in August when we go away (booked prior to getting him)

But I adore him, we all do.
For a terrier (border terrier) he's been the most gentle, sweet natured bundle of joy! He has a lot of energy and sometimes no off switch but he's learning to settle better.
The early weeks are a bloody hard, dark place indeed. I couldn't see past the land shark phase, but it passed pretty quickly for us.
His bite inhibition is fantastic, we play fight and he's so gentle.
He's brilliant with my 10 year old who insists on picking him up constantly.

Hang in there, it really does get better.

We have a working lines cocker spaniel and honestly, to begin with I really did question our decision to get him! That was after months of research and growing up with spaniels 😂

My advice would be to set out some ground rules and stick to them. The children and your husband can all help with certain tasks (training, feeding, etc). Work his brain, don’t over exercise! If you walk the dog too much, you’ll end up with an Olympic athlete with a never ending supply of energy! Spaniels are an interactive breed so get yourself on YouTube, look at how to teach them a retrieve. The retrieve will be the basis of so much of your training because once they learn to love retrieving and bringing things back to you, you avoid the whole “he’s stolen the kids socks, I’ve ran after him to get it and he’s swollen it so we are at the emergency vets”.

Your husband is out of action but your children can help. Puppies don’t need much entertainment, the more you give, the more they’ll desire so make sure puppy sleeps 18 hours a day as a minimum. I used to do 4x 10 minute sessions a day. That could have been a hunting exercise, a scentwork exercise, some gundog stuff or a trip to a cafe to sit and watch the world go by!

You would be amazed at how tiring a spaniel will find sitting and doing nothing! So, your husband can help with that too! Place training will be key so he can help with that but generally pups just want to be with you and bond so I honestly would not worry!

@Jasiseva how old is the puppy? People might be able to offer better suggestions if they know this and the breed.

Have you looked into attending puppy classes?

This sample schedule really helped me when I had my pup. I know it's not for everyone and I'm sure there will be lots of people with stuff to stay against it, but for me it took the worry off whether or not I was 'doing' enough for my pup.
https://maggiedogtraining.com/blog/2016/6/15/a-sample-schedule-for-your-puppy

Yes OP, it improves but you must be consistent with pup’s routine. It’s a baby, will take a lot of time.
We were tearing our hear out with our labrador many times but wouldn’t be without him now. Our lovely gentle but bonkers boy.

Just to say, the puppy blues are real!!! they’re not dissimilar to newborn babies. 2 weeks in to having our pup I honestly thought I’d made the worst mistake of my life! It v v quickly gets easier, probably by the 6 week mark. Read Easy Peasy Puppy - that’ll help train them

Of course it will get better he’s just a baby. When you let him out at 4am it should be straight outside then back in the crate.

Im afraid then you need to ignore any further whining. Not easy with young children but it shouldn’t take him too long to realise that whining doesn’t mean cuddles.

He seems well crate trained to sleep in there for 6 hours. But their bladders are tiny! This will improve as he grows. Does he chill/sleep in the crate during the day?