Our hearts our broken

[3rdtimeinflorida]

Our 3 year old cockapoo has had tendencies every now and again to show signs of nervousness, anxiety and high levels of resource guarding which has appeared in signs of aggression. He can snap at other dogs and always seems like he is in high alert. We have tried behaviourists, figuring out his triggers and knowing how to handle him and not putting him in situations that he can’t handle. We have done all this because we love him so much and wanted to keep him with us for as long as possible. As a family of 2 ad and 2 teenagers he has been showered with love and affection and our world has revolved around him.
Now the hard part- On Sunday night he bit my son unprovoked on the leg badly which led us to call an ambulance. They have obviously had to call the police who turned up and said from what has happened we feel it is everyone’s best interests and our dogs that we sign him over to them and they will put him to sleep.
We were all shocked, upset and traumatised obviously in the moment and thought we were doing the best. (At no point could we have him back in the house), but now we are all absolutely devastated and heartbroken beyond words that he will be PTS without us there to hold him and cuddle him. The police have said please be assured that he is being well looked after but under no circumstances can we go and see him as it is unfair and upsetting for everyone involved including our dog. He will. be held and cared for as he is PTS.
We know he had his faults but he loved his walks and his orange ball, laid on the sofa cuddling (where he was at his most relaxed) and giving paw for treats. His recall was excellent but he just had that side to him.
We look around our house now and it is just empty. Reminders of him everywhere. We haven’t eaten or stopped crying for 24 hours.
We are grateful that our son’s injuries weren’t as bad as they could have been and we fully realise this situation could have been so much worse. But we are broken that it had come to this.
My husband cried this morning as he would usually have taken him out for his morning walk round the block.
I work part time and am dreading being in the house on my own as he was my little shadow.
Thank you so much if you are still reading this and not judging. Please be kind.

i adore my dog

but i have to say… if she inflicted the serious bites you outline that even warranted an ambulance on my son, then i would not feel devastated as prospect of her being PTS

No, no and yes. I’m not an irresponsible owner. I’m a very experienced one who knows my dog and their triggers inside out

relief

Thank you for your support x

Thank you for telling me your story xx

Police have just called to say he will be pts Wednesday morning at 8am and we can then collect his ashes in about 2 weeks. Feel slightly better knowing this info but do just wish we could be there to hold him. Heartbroken completely. Thank you x

I know, I have so many conflicting emotions.

I’m ‘glad’ that it is happening tomorrow.. less time for wee one to be stressed..
I know it doesn’t feel like it but you will feel a bit better once you get his ashes home..

Thank you and yes I feel we will find comfort when he comes home x

Our gorgeous, crazy, complicated, loving boy is in doggie heaven and finally at peace.
Our hearts will be forever broken.

Thank you for everybody’s kind words of support x

I'm sorry for your loss OP, and the way it happened.

Do come back to the doghouse if you ever need words of advice or support - lots of us have experienced similar and sometimes it's really good to talk to a stranger.

Thank you again, I’m in floods as I’m typing this.
I would really appreciate any kind words of support from anybody who knows how I’m feeling right now.
It feels like I can’t breathe and I’m trying to be strong for my husband and kids who are grieving just as strongly as me.

He was a good boy really. Happiest when with his orange ball x

I’m so sorry @3rdtimeinflorida It’s tough enough losing a much loved pet but so unexpectedly and in these circumstances is totally heartbreaking.

Totally different but I had to have my beloved cocker put to sleep in October due to illness. I was and still am utterly devastated.

Sending you lots of hugs and 💐One day at a time, you will get through this.

Thank you and so sorry for your loss.
We will never ever forget them xx

So sorry for your loss and wishing your son a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

Helpful post (not).

I think the main thing to remember (as hard as it is right now) is all the joy he bought you. All the cuddles you had. All the treats you sneaked him. All the birds he chased (that even though it embarrassed you at the time, it still made you smile to see him happy) and all the squirrels he looked at in mild confusion when they scarped up trees. All the fox poo he rolled in.

When you lose a dog in such awful circumstances (and particularly when there has been a serious bite), it's really easy to think 'What did I do wrong? Was this my fault? Should I/could I have done more? Would he have been better with other owners and had a longer or happier life?'

It is absolutely not your fault. You did everything right. You managed his triggers. You loved him. You gave him everything you could. You need to remember this. Some dogs just cannot be helped - sometimes we're lucky and we get 10+ years with them and sometimes we get less. But it doesn't mean that people who had their dogs live longer were any more successful in managing the behaviour, or that they managed to do 'better' - it is about luck and circumstances when it comes to managing a dog with issues/behaviours like these - because some dogs are just made this way and there is nothing that any of us can do except manage their behaviour the best we can. You did everything you could and you categorically did not fail him. Nor did your husband or your children.

One day, it might be a few weeks or it might be a few years, you might be ready for another dog. And you might panic and think it will happen again - don't. Issues like these are so rare (in this magnitude). Just remember, that every dog deserves a loving home and every home that wants one, deserves a dog to curl up on their lap after a crap day. If you find yourself ready to move on, one day, it doesn't negate your love for your dog that you lost, it doesn't mean that you're a 'bad' owner because you got a new dog. It doesn't mean you're replacing them. It just means you're ready. And if you're not, that is also okay. We all grieve differently

He was absolutely beautiful, OP.

Thank you so so much for your beautiful post. You are helping me more than you could ever know xxx

Thank you xx

Allow yourself to grieve.. properly grieve.. you are allowed to feel sad even through the circumstances.. you are allowed to cry, scream, pull the duvet over your head.. you are allowed whatever you need..
I used to look after palliative animals and I grieved everyone whether they were with me a month or three years.. it is hard and awful and so very sad but remember you were his world, he lived in the here and now and he was loved with/despite all his quirks and ways. He was loved and he had his orange ball.. a lot of dogs never get that.. he had you and you did your v best for him and that is what matters..

In a few days I would find a friend with a friendly dog or contact a shelter with some friendly calm dogs and ask to take your son to visit just for a little while.. it might help..

Thank you for this post and kind words.
We have kept telling ourselves this, that unfortunately some dogs do not get the love that he had and never will and also the holidays he went on. We had booked a few dog friendly holidays for this year and next year and at the moment I just want to cancel them, as the thought of walking on the beach without him just overwhelms me with grief x

Thank you, yes I feel that this is a good idea.

I know my emotions are all over the place, but I’m determined to make some good from this- I have two days a week spare so thinking of going to volunteer in an animal shelter. It’s either that or going full time as the thought of being at home on my own just kills me x

So sorry for your loss, op. He was such a beautiful boy.

We had darling cat pts last year after a very quick illness and decline. I feel guilty that I should have noticed she was ill earlier and should have pushed for more testing rather than letting her go, even though the vet agreed. I KNOW logically it was the right thing for her but guilty feelings that I let her down still come. It becomes easier with time and she isn't the first thing I think about when I wake anymore, but reminders of her are everywhere and some days are still really hard.

You've done the right thing and you know that logically in your head, but your heart is grieving. Sending lots of love and hope for peaceful days to come xx 💕