Our hearts our broken

[3rdtimeinflorida]

Our 3 year old cockapoo has had tendencies every now and again to show signs of nervousness, anxiety and high levels of resource guarding which has appeared in signs of aggression. He can snap at other dogs and always seems like he is in high alert. We have tried behaviourists, figuring out his triggers and knowing how to handle him and not putting him in situations that he can’t handle. We have done all this because we love him so much and wanted to keep him with us for as long as possible. As a family of 2 ad and 2 teenagers he has been showered with love and affection and our world has revolved around him.
Now the hard part- On Sunday night he bit my son unprovoked on the leg badly which led us to call an ambulance. They have obviously had to call the police who turned up and said from what has happened we feel it is everyone’s best interests and our dogs that we sign him over to them and they will put him to sleep.
We were all shocked, upset and traumatised obviously in the moment and thought we were doing the best. (At no point could we have him back in the house), but now we are all absolutely devastated and heartbroken beyond words that he will be PTS without us there to hold him and cuddle him. The police have said please be assured that he is being well looked after but under no circumstances can we go and see him as it is unfair and upsetting for everyone involved including our dog. He will. be held and cared for as he is PTS.
We know he had his faults but he loved his walks and his orange ball, laid on the sofa cuddling (where he was at his most relaxed) and giving paw for treats. His recall was excellent but he just had that side to him.
We look around our house now and it is just empty. Reminders of him everywhere. We haven’t eaten or stopped crying for 24 hours.
We are grateful that our son’s injuries weren’t as bad as they could have been and we fully realise this situation could have been so much worse. But we are broken that it had come to this.
My husband cried this morning as he would usually have taken him out for his morning walk round the block.
I work part time and am dreading being in the house on my own as he was my little shadow.
Thank you so much if you are still reading this and not judging. Please be kind.

Calling an ambulance then triggered the police call to deal with a dangerous dog and they would have them seized it on that basis. Did you sign your dog over to the police?

My husband has just explained to me that due to the bite that my son had sustained they had said they needed to take our dog anyway regardless of whether we gave a signature or not and if my husband hadn’t have signed it we would have been taken to court.

Yes my husband signed him over as I didn’t realise as I was in the ambulance with my son that we had no option as they said they would have to take him regardless of a signature.

I didn't think the police could put him to sleep until a court has reviewed the case. Have they done that, or has something else happened?

No according to the police if we wanted the decision rebuking then it would have to go to court. We are not prepared to do this as it means the longer he is kept in police kennels. He is going to go peacefully at some point this week.

Really? There's lot online about the process and they all say the courts decide whether a dog is PTS, not the police, eg https://wheldonlaw.co.uk/my-dog-has-been-seized-by-the-police-what-should-i-do/ and the https://www.npcc.police.uk/SysSiteAssets/media/downloads/publications/disclosure-logs/operations-coordination-committee/2023/march/057-2023-dealing-with-dd-guidance-notes-for-police_redacted.pdf

Maybe it's different where you are though.

Oh OP, I’m really sorry.

I lost my cocker in similar circumstances. But I never called the police or an ambulance (it was a reasonably bite) and now I am so glad I didn’t. I can’t imagine not being able to say goodbye, even in those cases.

I’m so sorry.

Without wanting to sound callous, I think you need to ask your son what he wants to do next. Being attacked by a dog can be very traumatic (particularly your own) and very often people never want another dog and panic when they see dogs outside. I think you need to talk to him about how he feels about dogs in general to make sure he’s okay - and if not, maybe get him some help. Or find someone (even you if you feel up to it) for him to talk to. Unprovoked aggression can leave lasting impacts on people.

Absolutely no unkind words. I have been in this situation, this was a rescue from the RSPCA.. this was a long time ago,so no help with behaviourists or trainers. He was big a lab/red setter cross, bit a friends face while we were sitting talking,he was ok about it. Guarded eldest DD. bit my late DM, and ex H not enough to break the skin. He wasn't house trained inspite of being adult. We worked hard for 2 years. He went back when I was pregnant he wouldn't leave me, wouldn't go out with ex H. He was PTS. Friend rescued a staff from a friend of a friend,she's had them for years. He bit her face nose really badly. PTS, she was devastated, she had a ,6 year old DD. I told her it was the right thing to do. Sending love for a horrible decision.

Sadly we see more and more anxious aggressive cockerpoos. I feel like the sudden popularity meant a boom in breeding and the standards lowered. Years ago we saw red cockers frequently with issues. It went away for years but now not a week goes by that I don't see one.
It's really hard to sort out and imagine a dog who lives constantly on edge and anxious. It must be exhausting for them too. He will be put to sleep peacefully, there are so many worse things for an animal. I'm sorry you've had this ending, sometimes even with the greatest behaviour advice and medication you can't undo their nature

Oh op I feel for you. Your feelings must be all over the place. Your poor son may need some counselling to help him come to terms with such a huge trauma. As for your dog, I can see why he was taken and why you can't see him, the police have absolutely done the right thing as god forbid anyone else gets hurt. You will all heal as a family knowing the right thing was done. Give it time 💐

Thank you for the information but they have been very firm about what the process is.

Yes, initially I thought bloody hell if we hadn’t called for an ambulance but as my husband pointed out the hospital would have had to inform them even if we had taken him up ourselves. Thank you for your kind words about supporting my son. I am going to speak to his school and see if they can offer any sort of counselling for him. I am extremely worried about how this is going to play out on his mind as he says he keeps having flashbacks.
We have said to just let the tears flow (I certainly am) and that we will get through this as a family x

Ps sorry about your dog xx

Thank you for your kind words and completely agree.
Friends have also said this to me about not being able to undo their nature and imagine having to live a life on the edge all the time. It’s not fair on the dog they can’t tell us how they feel x

Thank you so much for telling me your story xx

Thank you for your kind words. I know, time is a healer and we will get through it. It’s all just too raw. We have just been advised that he will be PTS on Friday so we will be devastated all over again, knowing that he is finally gone x

Are you going to challenge the misinformation they have given you? They cannot put your dog to sleep, only the courts can decide this.

If you or your DH have authorised this then that’s your decision of course, but it’s not one the police can make without a court order.

I think it’s just in everybody’s best interests to have him PTS as we definitely couldn’t have him
back in the house and he wouldn’t be re-homed due to his behaviour. I think a judge would look at my son’s injuries and come to the same conclusion. As much as this is killing me, we wouldn’t want to fight it as it just prolongs things for our dog.
I appreciate you trying to fight our cause though x

If it helps, I think you're doing the right thing OP. Police kennels are not a nice place for a dog to spend their time and, as you say, it's only prolonging the inevitable as, sadly, a dog like this isn't going to get re-homed anyway.

I'm so sorry

If you’ve agreed with the police that you want him pts before it goes to court then that’s a different matter - I can understand why you’ve reached that decision. When you authorise them to take that course of action then they will act as quickly as they can to put him to sleep.

Please don't make any rush decisions. Ask yourself what the outcome would be if you were to challenge the police and if it is worth it in terms of stress for the dog and your family.

I think your first priority is your son, make sure he gets over the shock and reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong.

That the dog was on borrowed time within your family because of his behaviour issues.

I grew up with a biter and got bitten twice. To this day I cannot be around any dog with the same colouring. Everyone in the house was scared.
The dog was finally put down age 4 after biting someone's ear off. A day before he was PTS, he bit a finger off, because my parents were unsure about PTS ...

I'm so sorry. Friday will be tough for you all. You can arrange for a pet cremation/funeral company to collect him so you can have his ashes, if you wish to. Otherwise he'll likely be cremated in a group. It may help to know that he's cared for in a caring and respectful way after he's gone.

Bless you, I forgot to add. When I was pregnant with my oldest DS, I had very high blood pressure. I was hospitalised a month, and had to take it very easy at home,no walking this dog. Ex H tried to take him out and got bitten, inevitably then he would poo indoors. I would take him out for 3 hours, mostly off lead. As soon as someone opened a door,he bolted,leapt a high brick wall and was gone. We could never find him,he would be scratching at the back door 6 am the following morning. When my DD was 5,a friend's husband tipped her upside down by her feet,her dress went over her head, knickers on show,dog went straight for his throat. My DD was very upset about being tipped up like that. No,we didn't stay friends after that.

presumably you don’t have children? and never have visitors and endure muzzled when walked?

your poor boy.