Puppy Survival Thread for New and Old Pups - Spring is around the corner!

[Lougle]

A thread for puppy owners to share their ups and downs as we head into Spring. We're not just here for the idyllic moments. We've all had a cry at some point!

All posters welcome - just dive in.

The previous thread is here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_doghouse/4945764-puppy-survival-thread-for-old-and-new-pups-heading-into-winter?page=1

Hello, can I join? I have a 9 month old Labrador who I've had since he was 2 months old. Getting a Labrador was my life long dream. I've loved the breed since I got to know my first one as a young teenager. My circumstances have only recently become remotely reasonable for me to get one.
Of course, my lab is an individual so in many ways he's unlike my life-long-dream-lab (he causes much more trouble for a start!). But in so many ways he is becoming everything I've wanted in a dog. He loves life and I love that about him every single day.
He has this sweet robustness about him whereby he seems to find it easy to forgive my countless, well meaning, mistakes (which, as 1st time dog guardian, I seem to make every single say)..
He undeniably causes me trouble every single day. Today alone he's searched for (and found) multiple long lost mystery 'treasures' from the depths of the sofa. He's tried to convince me that each 'discovery' should be respected as his by the law of 'finders keepers'.
On a good day I feel so much love for him I wonder if I'm crazy. On a bad day I wonder if I was crazy getting him.
Today I'm brimming with love for the fox-poo-rolling, rabbit chasing, love and CD thieving wee sod.
Dogs huh. Who would have one?

@Bupster do you have anyone at all you could bribe/ coerce into coming with you to collect the pup? Driving four hours alone with a new pup might be quite stressful.

when we collected our pup (3 months ago) we took a cat type carrier with a towel in it and the breeder gave us a muslin that smelt of mum. We popped him in and I sat on the back seat with him next to me. Then he started to absolutely scream and cry and go mad which was dreadful. But it lasted about 5 minutes while I reassured him and he then settled down for the 2 hour drive.

My priorities were nights, housetraining and learning to be left.

I slept on the sofa with him in the crate next to me for a week. The first two nights were pretty grim but I wasn’t willing to leave him to cry it out ( as recommended by the breeder). After a week and a gradual retreat he was sleeping through in his crate in the kitchen and even dry in the morning ( good luck).

Housetraining is a long term thing. Take him out very very frequently and I found it helpful to make a note of successes and accidents. Accidents are always our fault. Keep doors closed to keep the area dog can use restricted. After about 3 days I smugly thought we’d cracked it. He’s now almost 5 months and if we aren’t vigilant we still have accidents. I use the phrase ‘hurry up’ and an instant’yes’ and small treat when he performs. Now it’s just a quiet yes.

I was very conscious of the number of dogs with separation anxiety and was keen to avoid so from very early I used the ‘flitting’ method of leaving the room/ going upstairs ( stair gate in situ) and coming back pretty quickly. We didn’t leave him all alone for several weeks but with hindsight we could have done. I always say, ‘see you soon’ or just ‘soon’ when we leave him so he knows we are coming back. I can happily leave him 2-3 hours now.

Good luck, I hope that’s helpful. FWIW we’ve had a dog bed and I still found it very overwhelming. After a short time he’s one of us and we mostly love him to bits.

@JamieJ93 you've been through so much. It was a big thing to take on another dog, especially one with so many issues. I hope he quickly settles.

Grace has had her booster vaccination today. The vaccination wasn't an issue but she wasn't a fan of having her temperature taken (who can blame her).

21.2kg and 'small but perfectly formed' in the words of the vet

that's good to hear @MatildaTheCat. i'm running out of ideas to distract him from biting me when we're at home. we've been out for a couple of sunny walks today, he's doing well when out and about, a bit whiny now and then mostly when there's a few people, bikes and dogs about.

@Bupster In many ways I envy you having fresh clean slate with your puppy. I have a 9 month old, now over 25kg labrador pup. From the moment I collected him (7 months ago) I have made so many mistakes. In fact my mistakes began before I collected him. I probably chose the wrong breed for my lifestyle from the wrong breeder. My expectations were too high. I've relied too heavily on treats. I've relaxed too much on walks so he does his own thing rather than looking to me for guidance. I've tried too hard to use 'positive only' methods and management which has allowed too many bad behaviours to go unchecked and has resulted in a badly behaved pup. I didn't have a safe space (e.g. pen to leave him in so he was ilutterly exhausting. (I'm frazzled). I was lulled into false sense of security by his relatively good behaviour and smaller size at age 5-6 months and ignored the well known advise to really prioritise training then. How I would love to be in your shoes starting out again knowing what I know now. In truth I don't know how to do it right. He's my first dog too. All I really know is how not to do it.
The only piece of advice I have is to have a look online for The Puppy Coach website. There's a series of great videos there completely free and accessible (about 30 videos covering all aspects from day 1 to adolescence. I wish I'd found those sooner. You don't even need to create a log in to view them (5 hours or so of videos). Even then I'd take some with pinch of salt. They make it look so easy. It. Is. Not. I'd be happy to help more specifically but my only real area of exoertise is 'what not to do'. That's so important too though. I'm conscious this post us getting long but genuinely happy to help more. What kind of pup are you getting? Male or female? Apologies if you've said.

I'd also 2nd other people who've suggested taking someone with you. I originally planned to drive a similar distance to you to get a puppy. Everyone I knew told me not to, they said it was crazy plan, the pup would be too upset and cause me too much distraction. But I figured she would sleep most of way and if not asleep I'd be able to stop and comfort her. Easy, I thought. I didn't get that puppy in end (for reasons not related to travel). The actual puppy I got lived just 30 minites drive from me. Peefect! No problem going there alone, I thought. Having now driven my own puppy home alone for just that 30 minute drive, I would firmly second everything everyone told me. It's pretty essential to have someone with you to hold and comfort the puppy, however short the drive. My journey home was a nightmare (not helped by breeders advice ti put him in foot well. No need to secure him she said. He'll be fine there she said). It was awful. The poor soul scrambled and whimpered all the way home. He managed to get put of the passenger foot well. I had to stop many many times. He was so over aroused when he got home he was scared but soon fell into an exhausted sleep. Not a good start to his first day home. I should have accepted offers I recieved to drive me there. Then I could have cuddled and comforted him. Like I say, I knew nothing but thought I knew so much more. I so much wish I could go back to where you are and get it right from start. I really would suggest for your sake to take someone with you. I know that's not always easy or practical. I hope whatever you do the journey goes well though. Yours will obviously be a different pup so it may well be different for you. All I know for sure is if I ever get another puppy I wouldn't now dream of collecting him alone, however short the drive. There's a good chance your puppy will come to you having never felt scared. My advice, for what it's worth is to do all you can to keep it that way, starting with a safe, cuddled journey home If you possibly can. Let me know if you want any more unbidden advice from someone who's made a thousand mistakes (so you don't have to lol).

Hello. I have posted a few times but thought I would come and join this thread and say hello. We have a 19 week old cavapoo boy (cavapoo x cavalier cross).
Things that are going well - likes his crate, sleeps through the night since the beginning, understands the command for toilet, trains relatively easily
Things that are not going so well -
barks at the cat when cat growls at him and this just aggravates cat further

• as soon as we sit down (sofa, floor) he just starts to bite us.
• If he poos inside (quite rare) he eats it.
• He loves eating slugs.
• He also won't always wait at the kitchen door any more when we want to go in the hall (especially if he thinks it's time for a walk or he wants to escape upstairs).

Does anyone know a good blanket to put on a sofa which puppy can't chew through? The one we have his little puppy teeth make short shrift of. I'm not worried about the dog making the sofa dirty as he doesn't get in the rooms with the sofas unless clean. It's DS 13 who is a very messy snacker! So far I have found it less stressful to take the blanket off when dog is in room and back on in the evening when DS on sofa. I don't mind the dog chewing the blanket as it is cheap but I'm worried about him swallowing bits.

Thanks so much for all this - I'm genuinely grateful for all advice. I'm getting a half lab, half cocker (everyone I speak to who knows the breeds just starts laughing when I tell them this which is less than reassuring 😄). I feel both wildly over- and under-prepared - he has crates (there will be three by the time I get him, including a puppy-sized soft-sided travel crate); a fence-type pen for indoors and one for outdoors, and a playpen for the bathroom/study while he's tiny and can't be left alone; I've got his first vaccinations booked for the Monday after he arrives, and a dog sitter coming to meet him that week; a couple of friends who've already offered informal sitting and socialisation, and I've got friends and family a little further away who have dogs and can help with holidays etc.

I am a bit stuffed re picking him up though. I've not lived here for very long and while I do have the sort of friends who might be willing to come along, they either don't live near me, or have kids, or other big commitments that weekend. I think I'm going to have to settle for the travel crate and lots of stops, planned like a military expedition so I avoid heavily dog-trafficked areas when he needs the loo but can still get a loo break myself. I'm not looking forward to it - but at least the breeder says none of the litter were car sick on their first vet trip, so that's something... the breeder has a blanket that will smell of mum, and I've got a heartbeat toy, and lots of towels, and I think I'll just have to take my time and hope for the best 😬.

What's your top tips on what not to do raising a pup?

@newusern99 i have a pet blanket from Funny Fuzzy, cheap, fast delivery, washes well and stays in place due to the backing material. Not sure how it will tolerate teething BUT your pups teething stage should be coming to the end of a phase.
eating poop; the vet can prescribe tablets generally it’s a sign of too rich a kibble.
I have a Tibetian Spaniel and it’s a common behaviour in that breed. He outgrew it, but we still watch him like a hawk 14 yrs on.

@Bupster something I read just before Pup came home was, ‘if you treat your dog like a human your dog will treat you like a dog’. It’s absolutely true.

You can love them to bits and still have firm boundaries. Start training from day 1. Expect to cry quite a lot and be convinced you’ve made the worst mistake of your life. Lean on anyone you can for support and book your puppy classes as early as possible.

Good luck.

@ToLoveALabrador , you sound a bit defeated at the moment. I hope you can get back into training classes and get back your mojo. Adolescence in pups is grim.

I can’t help on the cat - never had one. But on the other bits…

• don’t sit on the floor with him if he bites. The second he does it, stand up and turn away. He’ll learn eventually.
• Sometimes dogs eat their own poo because they aren’t getting enough nutrients. But if hes only doing it inside, it could also be a cleanliness thing. What are his poos like? Solid? Squidgy?
• don’t let him outside alone and immediately stop him eating slugs. If you catch him doing it, divert him away asap.
• Reinforce your boundaries re waiting at the door. At 18 weeks he’s entering that phase where he pushing boundaries and if you give an inch he’ll take a mile!

'Defeated'? OMGG, yes. Dog adolecense 'Grim'? BH yes. I couldn't have found 2 better words. Very perceptive. And thanks. Your post made me feel understood and so much better for it :-)
I do hope (and sort of trust) it gets better!

My boy is now 6.5 months old and he's been away from me for a few days while I went aboard for work (arrange before I got him). I had two nights on my own and they were frankly bliss: no getting up to let him out when he whined, no worrying I could not fall asleep, being able to walk around without him trying to steal everything away from me.

I did not miss him much and that worries me because I thought I would miss him more! The worry that it was all a big mistake stays with me.

@ToLoveALabrador you make some excellent points, it is so easy to do the minimal training and then just let it slide. I need to remember that any time and effort I invest now will pay off for the rest of his life. Back to proper training him!

And I must say, I like the phrase from PP 'if you treat your dog like a human, your dog will treat you like a dog'. Hadn't heard that one before but I think it sums it up pretty darned well. I'm only just starting to come to that realisation myself (after 7 months of my much loved pup being my whole world).
I rely on 'positive only' training methods plus behavioural management (e.g. I keep my kitchen door closed to prevent counter surfing). There's rarely a waking hour goes by where I don't give my pup several 'treats' or exclaim 'Good Boy!' several times. But in my inexperienced hands, this does little to prevent my lab's natural talent for creating chaos or the very occassional scream of "NO!" from me, bursting out from weeks of pent up frustration.
Perhaps somewhat contaversially, I reckon positive only training does need to be 'moderated' by ways of showing dog he's not an equal decision maker in his relationship with you. (If he was he'd run out into road and eat ALL the food in one go).
Just this week I've started insisting that my 60lb pup 'wait' at doorway until I say 'OK' when we leave house on every single walk. It's designed to keep him safe (from overly exhuberantly jumping up on unsuspecting souls who wouldn't thank him for it) but the difference this makes in his attitude towards me 24-7 is unbelievable. I finally feel like I have some tiny semblance of control. For the 1st time he's started to look up to me during walks as if to say 'is this OK?'
I do take him to Canine Good Citizen classes where he is the class 'bad boy'. Even the trainer there can't always supress a laugh at his hooligan antics and at my 'Faulty Towers' style lack of control. Onwards and upwards(?)

So, here are my top 5 tips on 'what not to do' and the things I wish I'd known when I brought home my 1st pup 7 months ago...

1. Don't have too high expectations. Your pup may well grow into the dog who'll hang on your every word and prioritise your needs above his own (mine doesn't) but he will not arrive that way. He'll arrive wanting what HE wants and will behave accordingly. (Don't worry though, soon you'll love him so much that's what you'll want too).

2. Don't expect to love him immediately. This is important. Love is important. If love happened on a dime it wouldn't be so (soul destroyingly) important. If you're anything like me, count on it taking several months to fall in love with your new pup. And beware, that's when your real troubles will start. Soon you'll see all the obnoxious things he does as loveable. Yes, even the things that any pup of yours would never do. Soon anyone who thinks he's anything but utterly perfect will be your nemesis. (Just saying).

3. Don't buy into belief there is one right way to raise a pup. There really isn't. There's good advice available when you need it. But most of the time, your sutuation is unique; your pup is an individual; your priorities and environment are likely different from mine. Your decisions matter most. Sorry, but I guess what I'm saying is 'you're on your own'. Or, on a more positive note, 'you got this'. You truly do. (That's at least slightly liberating, right?)

4. Don't dismiss the importance of having a safe place to leave your pup (even if you only use it while he's asleep). Your pup will take all your energy and will drive you insane without this. (Speaking from someone who has learned this the hard way).

5. Don't let your cute puppy do ANYTHING you don't want him to do forever-more.
   You'll be exhausted. He won't speak your language (so communication will feel impossible). You'll feell you need to choose your battles. I get it all. I've been there. But it's so much easier to physically prevent a <5kg pup from doing something than a nearly 30kg 9 month old testosteroone fueled 'pup'.

I could go on and on with the advice on what not to do but this post is fitting long so I'll restrain myself and atop there.

I'll end by saying, when my pup was 3-4 months old, whenever I heard anyone say they were about to get a puppy I wanted to scream 'don't do it!'.
I don't feel that way (for the vast majority of the time) any more. But, believe me, if you're about to get your 1st pup, chances are you will feel that way too at some point too (maybe for months on end). Your life will very likely get worse for months, no matter how much you want a puppy. Beware! This really may happen to you too!
I have my precious 9 month old stereotypically bull-in-a-china-shop lab. I hear so many people say it'll get better and I just have to trust it will. As I type, I hear him chewing on something it sounds like he shouldn't be (for the 100th time today). So I've just had to stop what I was doing (for the 100th time today) to take it off him. Puppies (in my limited experience) are definately 'no walk in the park'. But for all the trouble they cause (and they do!) they do some things right. After all these months of life altering chaos, I csn say hand on heart, if you want a pup, get one. And even knowing all I know now, I can say strap yourself in, you're in for a #ell of a ride, but it'll be worth it. I'm pretty sure.
All I really do know for sure is that I do love my lab. Sure, he's a bullish wee rascal (to put it politely) but I wouldn't swap him for the whole friggin' world.
So, if you're thinking of getting your 1st ever puppy (or are collecting him oon), good luck. I think you'll need it, But I also genuinrly thinm it'll be worth it too x

@ToLoveALabrador
Excellent posts! You've summed up my experience exactly. I'm 6 weeks in with Brodie and I have never cried or regretted something so much in my entire life. I was even starting to think I was properly depressed and should go to the doctors, and that's something I've never been in my fifty odd years.
It's relentless and utterly exhausting.
However, despite the trashed house and garden, the mess everywhere, the pee and the poo, the little sh!t is starting to grow on me, and I find myself smiling more and more at his antics. I still regret getting him at times, and desperately miss my old life, but I am starting to see a happy ending for us 😊.

@ToLoveALabrador all very good advice, my fluff ball is the perfect doggy arsehole most of the time but he’s also absolutely adorable at the same time. So far this morning he’s had breakfast, played so hard he threw his breakfast back up again and he’s now busy moving all his toys (and things he’s acquired) from one bed to the other.

At this stage it’s really like having another child.

Hey, @JamieJ93, have read your posts and am wondering how you are? How are things going?
I've certainly met my match in my young dog.

@BrodiePup 6 weeks in is so hard. I remember then (which was around Christmas 2023 for me). The major ups and downs. At that age, my pup was the snuggly-love-of-my-life by night. By day, he was a break-my-skin-make-it-bleed-sure-to-become-wildly-unpredictable-HUGE-and-HUGELY-aggressive-adult-dog. But somehow he'd often manage to simultaneously pull off the hugely adorable puppy thing too (usually, but not 100% limited to, when he was asleep). Everyone else thought he was so cute and forgivable. Only I knew the truth. I'd swing wildly from believing he may (one day) still become my dream dog, to believing I'd made the worst mistake of my life.
Now, I know neither were 100% true. But somehow, weirdly, I'm OK with that. Now, Beach Boys 'God only knows what I'd be without you' isn't 100% off the mark. That song kind of sums up why I got a dog in first place and it's kind of how I feel about him now. 4 month old puppies can be wee gits though, truly. I'd love to say 9 month old puppies aren't. But in truth, they are bigger gits. Just with more water under the bridge. But God only knows what I'd be without him.

@ToLoveALabrador
Aw, thank you so much for your message, it made me smile 😊

Hi everyone,

Can I ask advice on settling in my puppy once I've collected him? I've read books and asked friends and everyone seems to do it in wildly different ways. Some friends have slept downstairs with their pups for a week and after that they're fine. Others have taken them to bed with them. Most of the guides say bring the crate to your bedroom, as the pup needs your presence in the first few weeks and it's much easier to hear if they need the loo - and that leaving them to cry can damage their trust in you and their confidence long term.

My worry about that is that it's quite a long trek from my bedroom to the back yard, if pup needs a wee, and also it is absolutely not possible to puppy-proof my bedroom - ever - I have open shelves and an open wardrobe and my medication is on the bedside table (I forget to take it if it's not!). So if I have him in the bedroom it can only be in his travelling crate (small enough to fit, and to move up the stairs) and I can't ever let him just chill out there alone (I also had vague hopes that at some point in the future I might do other things than sleep in that bed😄). My cunning plan was therefore to close that room off to him but now I'm wondering if that's one of those plans that doesn't survive the first encounter with the enemy.

How have you managed the first few weeks of settling in and sleeping?

My pup sleeps in his crate in the living room. For the first week I slept down there with him but now (3 weeks in) he sleeps there from around 11 at night til 6 in the morning quite happily. He doesn’t need taken out for an overnight pee, but does need out first thing in the morning.

I wouldn’t leave him to cry, usually he’s asleep by the time I’m going to bed so he doesn’t even know I’ve gone.

@Bupster - we slept downstairs initially so nighttime trips to the garden were easier. I didn't really want to be carrying pup up and down the stairs in the middle of the night.

How are everyone's pups coping with the warm weather? I think tomorrow I'm going to have to try a pre breakfast walk and I'm not sure pup will be impressed at leaving the house before breakfast