Please can I talk about an eldery dog

[Ifnotnowthenwhens]

We have a 15 year old dog . The breed is the type that is person centred and has always wanted human company more than things like an intrest in other dogs.
the average life span is 12 to 15 but the breed can live until age 20 .

Over the last fee months
eyesight has deteriorated
quite deaf
sometimes likes short walks to sniff wee / poo - but likewise sometimes she does not look happy on a walk as she does not know were she is due to sight
she onky likes local v small walks never travels now in car at all
the last holiday was around her needs - place with a promanade we could push in pram - she will go in that sometimes still

she has beginnings of cognitive issues- she is able to ask to go outside in the day time but at night we put puppy pads down as she wees in the night now and sometimes poos or is sick

she sleeps most of the time
when awake - she follows me - looks for me - happiest when I sit next to her - she sleeps

sometimes sick if eats too much

most days lies on her back and wiggles - seems happy and enjoys her food ( tho demands treats a lot more now and ‘ shouts/ barks for treats. This is now v loud and persistent and relentless( v annoying for neighbours).This is her happy time - getting treats - wiggling - sometimes plays - when I pretend to chase her.

A couple of people have questioned her quality of life.

they have also said that they would not cope withthe daily overnight indoor toileting as would feel dirty .

sometimes she looks lost in the house- stares with tail down - when I touch her she starts and tail goes up and she is back in the room . She has good days and bad days with this . Some days she can get lost in the garden ( sight or confusion ?) bit mostly manages out of habit.
Have done the quality of life test at vets suggestion when we asked her. As she enjoys food , has sniff walks that are sometimes good ( 50/50 ?) and clearly still has the bond with us - it suggested that she still has some quality of life.

it feels really hard to judge this situation compared to a dog with a stroke for eg . i am afraid that we dont know how to judge this - as we see her daily we cant see decline for eg as clearly as it is gradual Etc .

I dont know if she is a happy old dog or one who is not enjoying her life .

I am starting to forget the dog she once was . i am loosing confidence and feel immense guilt for praying she will pass away peacefully as I feel i am loosing her as i knew her - but at the same time I want her to stay and hate myself for having these thoughts because I don't want her to go but we are struggling emotionally . We definitely signed up for this -its just it feels a struggle .- never had an old dog before . We dont know if its us just not handling it well . We swing from we love her so much we cant bear to let her go to do we pts to avoid further decline or -she may have years like this of some happy times when awake we sometimes think - and it would be so wrong to deny her that chance .
I am not experienced and need to get a grip .

The old dog will never be the same as the dog in it’s prime but it does sound as if your dog is still enjoying life.
We had one dog that when she was old did poo every night in the house. The day we called a halt was the day she got it all over herself as well
There was an elderly cat that had to be contained in a dog crate every night, this went on for over a year as he messed in the house otherwise. Was fine in the day. He had a form of dementia as well. Needing feeding about 15 times a day but was happy.
It’s spotting the change from elderly and happy to not happy. It’s usually fairly obvious

It’s so difficult isn’t it, my dogs last year sounded exactly like yours, has she been diagnosed with anything at all? Ignore comments on the toiling issues saying it’s dirty, old dogs can’t always control themselves doesn’t mean they are dirty, horrible thing to say. What advice has your vet given, is she on medication? What breed is she?

Poor soul is lucky to have you.

Autumn1990 thanks - how would explain how its obvious- really anxious about missing something .
thank you .

Bichon .
the person said its dirty as in to have a hall with wee and poo in it every am .

Bless.

My dog is only 5 and I'm dreading this decision already. Tearing up thinking about it.

I don't have nay advice but alot of sympathy.

BigWillyLittleTodger
yes - doggie dementia - early .

My dog is 14 and asleep next to me snoring. I try not to think about just how old she actually is but now and then my phone pops us with a photo - this day 6 years ago etc. and it's a sharp reminder. It sounds like your dog has a reasonable quality of life at the moment. Just for info, when my friend had to let her elderly dog go she arranged for a specialist vet to come to their house. It was very calm and peaceful. You may want to see if there's a similar option in your area. There's no right or wrong, you are doing your best. You'll know when the time is right.

Oh my, I’ve been where you are - and was there for a good year or so. Is yours a spaniel (the liking you to chase her is what made me think that)? Mine was totally deaf (for several years) and her sight was dimming as well, evolving dementia, peed whenever and wherever it occurred to her (and wouldn’t pee outside at all towards the end - you’d take her outside and signal to her to pee, and she wouldn’t, then come inside and immediately pee on the floor. 🙄

For me it was when the majority of joy seemed gone from her life. I say majority because there were still sparks (always food-related!), which made me keep her going possibly longer than I should, but it’s SO hard to make that call, and wanting it to be for her welfare and not our convenience, iykwim. But she’d lost or was losing pleasure in almost everything that used to give her pleasure - even us fussing her.

God it’s fucking hard. I’m getting tearful thinking about it now, so I’ll stop, but just think about how much joy your girl still takes in things, and also whether she’s in any discomfort or pain. Incontinence can make them very anxious because their life long training not to do it indoors mean that they feel unhappy or anxious (especially if they’ve ever been scolded for mistakes).

Enjoy her and spoil her absolutely rotten, and then let her go before her life is hollow and confused but dementia. My vet came outside and did it in the van (because she was terrified of going into the vets), and it was very peaceful. She died in my arms.

Fucking hell… I hope my post was useful in some way, because I’ve just spent the last five minutes sobbing like a baby! This is why I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have another dog. 😔

Thank you all
for your honesty - what lovely people you are .

Am so sorry that its caused upset for some of you x

SeaBlueSky xxxxxxx

I do want to enjoy her amd spoil her . But she used to love going to our local with me and snoozing next to me . Now she cant see well
or hear well she doesnt like it in there now - she runs to it out of habit but i now never take her in as she womt settle. I feel
awful as she clearly thinks she wants to go in .
the only things i can think of is kisses , ham and tummy and ears rubs amd stay in as much as I can to let her snooze next to me . I give her my clothes at night to comfort her with the smell as it is obvious she is awake a lot at night with the uses puppy pads each am.

I knew she is a Bichon !

I have one too, she is 16.5.

Prob totally dear, definitely mostly blind. Loves her dinner and any treats she is given - despite having no teeth

Spends her day in a variety of soft cosy dog beds ( as it's been a few years since she was able to get up on the sofa )

Enjoys her walks - but short ones in places she knows clearly she recognises the smells and knows the route.

4 walks a day -
2 short ones to local field, on lead to field and off lead in field and off lead on the way home ( it's at the bottom of our cul de sac ) sometimes she will walk up the field behind or beside me and the other dogs, sometimes she potters around the entrance to the field
the 2 longer walks are to the beach and the park at the beach, goes in the car to get there, has a buggy for the ' boring ' parts of the walk i.e. the concrete path down to the large area of grass Is out off the buggy and off lead for the large grass part, and if the tide is out then back in the buggy along the promenade to get down to the beach, out of buggy off lead.

She now wees more often than before, and will happily just get out of bed, wander across the room and wee, no attempt to go out / ask to go out. She doesn't usually know when she is doing a poo, it seems just to pop out :) however the poo is small and fairly firm so is picked up easily - this often happens on the way to the field i.e. we haven't got there in time, i just think her body is ready to ' go ' shortly after she starts walking.

potentially showing signs of doggy dementia sometimes, but then wanders back into a dog bed.

Sleeps with me on my bed every night

Aww the wee soul. I would be thinking about letting her go. Better too soon than too late. In a nutshell
Blind
Deaf
Dementia
Mobility issues
Semi incontinence
It's never easy but 15 is a brilliant age and she's obviously had a fab life but is now on the downward spiral.

Not in the slightest bit your fault - I shouldn’t have clicked on the thread and posted! I think I’m feeling particularly raw because I had my first proper doggy cuddles last night (since I lost mine 6 months ago) when a friend brought her dogs over and one decided to spend the evening pressed up against me on the sofa with her head on my lap. The joy of a solid doggy body to cuddle up to. ❤️💔

Just keep weighing up that joy level for her, and remember that giving them a gentle death instead of the decline through confusion and mental or physical pain is a kindness that I wish we could give to humans!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon your dog sounds lovely - sounds more able than ours re walks which is good
ours looks lost on walks longer than the area realky near the house - last time she walked into the village she stopped amd didnt know where she was .
she started to try to stop walking if unsure. Now . I wish she could still sleep with us - feel sad she has to be alone at night now . She tries to get out of. Bedroom to wee and so she seems to on balance be better downstairs. She would wake us several times a night wanting to go at random times - she can wee 5 mjns after been - so we cant toilet her then be ol a few hours to enable her to be with us .

I agree - its the ultimate kindness .

i kmow what you mean about being with another dog - i actually walk a friends dog also as i miss walking her so much but i sit with her most nights and she knows am there .
i feel guilt that i am struggling to witness her aging - its like i want it all to go away as uts getting me down - this feels selfish - to even feel thsi way sometimea when I get overwhelmed with sadness - i just want her to be happy because she was always happy with me and now she ahs to stay at home as the world - apart from v near home isnt what she wants anymore

It’s not this person’s place to comment on your home, no doubt you clean up after your dog. The person is rude, unless you asked for the opinion.

The situation you describe is one most of us will have to go through, whether human or canine. It’s old age and it doesn’t come alone unfortunately. Have you tried a doggy diaper/sanitary/nappy product?

Care for your lovely dog, cherish the time you have.

She's never going to get better than she is right now. Every day will be more of a slight gradual decline.

I think for me the point they can't come upstairs anymore after sleeping upstairs with us every day of her life would be the point for me.

I think you need to look seriously at pts, to be honest. It is hard, but it won't get any easier by prolonging it.

It's after midnight and I should be sleeping. Instead I'm watching the old boy on his bed. Anyone can see he is old by the gray muzzle, white feet. By dog years he is 105. Sunken hips and cloudy eyes. The slow steady breathing. A paw twitches. A soft whimper. In his dreams he’s still a hard charger chasing wings, pointing flies. More twitches and then the startled awakening from the twinge of pain. He rises to find a more comfortable spot. A wobble then catches himself again. He stands a moment, gathering himself, contemplating the next move. A couple of spins, another wobble, then lays down once more. The tragic reality is it is failure of the structure. The heart and mind are sound. Like fireflies, once free, now trapped in a Mason jar. Some day, maybe soon, but always too soon, it will be my solemn responsibilty to open the jar, release them into the night sky so they can be free of their failing container. Until then I can lay here, watching him sleep once again.

Just keep to the short walks that she knows, and take her in your local for a few mins - even if you end up walking out another door right away.

I know this situation very well. It's a whole life stage we have to go through as dog owners. You may have months or years of this, and you'll give her total love and kindness. You'll all learn a lot about yourselves and each other. I know how tough it is. As you said, it's what we signed up for. I hope you make the most of every day and moment together x

I am in this position with my very much loved 16 year old dog.
She has constant urine infections and bladder stones.
She is meant to be fed a special diet to dissolve the stones but she hates it.
She sleeps a lot. Watching this happen is so so heartbreaking for me.
Sleeps with me, still loves cuddles.
I do lots palliative care for humans… it’s the same.