Heartbroken after euthanasia

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We had to have our precious boy put to sleep very recently. I am absolutely devastated.

He wasn’t really young, but he also wasn’t old and we feel we should’ve had at least another couple of years with him. I feel robbed of the extra time we should’ve had.

I don’t want to give too many details but the last few weeks with him were heartbreaking and we knew it was time. He was put to sleep at home, which was very peaceful and went as well as it could, but I still found it quite distressing and keep thinking about them carrying him out of the house in a bed that wasn’t his own.

I can’t stop crying. I miss him so much, and absolutely everything reminds me of him, he was such an enormous part of our lives. We recently donated some of his belongings to a local charity and I was so upset because it felt like we were erasing him from our home.

It sounds so silly but I’m not sure how to go on. I know I just need time, but my god I hope it gets easier soon.

Oh love, I'm so sorry 😞

Just want to send you lots of love to you and your family. Pets are so special to us and it really does feel like one of the family has gone 😞

This pain will go and you'll be able to remember fondly of all your times with him it's just so raw and fresh right now.

Sending you a big hug 💐💐💐

We had our Bumble boy put to sleep in 2019 . Ds2 who has additional needs came home so he could be with us.
Our vet who absolutely adored Mr B was on holiday which to me was a good thing as I know she would have been upset too. As it was the vet and the nurse had tears too. Ds2 held one of his paws and carried him out to the vets car. He was so brave. I won't lie the first few weeks were horrible. Losing a dog does leave am enormous hole. We haven't got another dog yet. Mr Bs ashes are on out huge bay window which he used to sit in and bark at everyone. He actually put his paw through a pane of glass sliding into the window to abuse the post lady!
Do you have any stories of your boy?
Big big hugs 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕

You made the hardest choice, made it with the greatest love. You stopped him from suffering and out of that love, you are now the one suffering. Anyone who has made that choice will know how you feel, but we also all know that you did the right thing. You were brave and strong and thought only of him.

I still get upset over making the same call seven years ago, but yes it has got much easier. It took years, but we now have another dog. Totally different to our last one, deliberately so.

Be very kind to yourself. Many hugs.

Euthanasia at the right time is one of the kindest things we can do for our animals, but it is heartbreaking to make that call.

It does get easier as time goes on.

💐💐

I'm so sorry for your loss. Although letting a loved pet slip away without pain is the kindest thing, it's also the hardest decision for any owner to make because it is your decision, and one you'd never ever choose to make willingly. I've said goodbye to three dogs now and it's still as hard and heart-breaking as ever each time.

We too had a tough last few weeks with our DTerrier - we were so determined to do everything, try everything, that we maybe lost sight of what was the best for him, and in the end it was our vet who very gently let us know it was time. And that by letting him go, we weren't letting him down. With the benefit of hindsight the vet was absolutely right. For a while all my memories were of that awful last few months of sleepless nights and worry, but now, two years on from that, we talk with a smile about his funny happy wiggle or his mad barking.

We put DTerrier's little urn of ashes under the Christmas tree every year now, as he used to lurk underneath it, inhaling suspiciously, when he was alive. We gave ourselves time to get over his loss, and adopted another (different breed) dog mainly because our big dog missed his company as much as we did. This may sound a bit mad but I often think of our wee boy while I'm out walking and I feel him bounding along with our current DDogs, light and painfree again, our love like an invisible long lead that will always bring him close whenever I think of him. A little troupe of dogs, some solid, some more ethereal, all running with joy alongside the humans who loved them so much.

Feeling so sad for both of you. Can hardly bear to think of carrying out this duty when the time comes, but remember it’s the last kindness you can offer your pet when they are in pain and there is no recovery for them. You are not erasing him form your home by donating his belongings - you’ll see him out of the corner of your minds eye often and with time the memory will be a pleasure not a pain. I know non pet people sometimes don’t get the magnitude of the loss when a dog dies but they are such an integral part of life it’s hard to cope. Try to be kind to yourself meantime.

I am so sorry. It is so unbelievably painful isn’t it.

We had to have our gorgeous cocker boy PTS in November due to heart failure and a rapid decline. I too kept thinking about the circumstances surrounding it. My therapist told me to just remind myself that yes, it was horrible at the time, but he’s at peace now, and to then think of some happier memories to replace the bad ones (for me it was him playing in the snow, or doing the little treat feeding game we did together). That really helped to replace the bad memory for me so I hope it helps you too.

We couldn’t bear the cold, empty feeling house so despite saying we’d never get another dog, we ended up getting a GR puppy 4 weeks later. It’s not for everyone but he’s expanded our love so much, and brought joy back to our house. It hasn’t stopped me missing my old boy, I still miss him and talk about him every day, and we have a little memorial set up in his favourite room. But it’s so nice having somewhere to direct all that love again!

(We donated our old boys food, but kept all his things in storage. I still can’t bear the thought of them going!)

Hugs for you. It will get easier.

I lost a pet this week too and although he was old and I knew it was time it was still really hard as he was gradually getting worse so it wasn't completely clear cut where to draw the line. I found it hard trying to manage the family's feelings too. I had to tidy some of his belongings today and it was not nice but I'm glad I did. It's going to be a while before I stop thinking I can hear him. I did actually adopt another (much lower maintenance) pet before he went because I could see it coming and couldn't face an empty house. Obviously making sure that I could give the new pet a good life too not just a knee jerk or emotional thing. That won't be right for everyone but it is helping a bit as is keeping busy but it is horrible. Look after yourself.

Oh OP, so much I could say as I've been there, like many others, and know how you feel.
It is heartbreaking but so much better this way than seeing them in pain or discomfort. You can give away everything to do with him but you will never erase him from your lives. It's a cliché but he will live on in your memories and your hearts forever.
It will get easier, believe me. DH and I are on DDogs numbers 5 & 6 in our 30+ years together and look back with fond memories of all their predecessors. You can and will find your way through the pain. Thinking of you.

Thank you all for your lovely kind words, some of which brought me to tears. And thank you for sharing cherished memories of your beloved dogs with me.

It is so hard. I knew it would be, but I’ve been blown away by the pain, as has DH (who I think is now putting on a very brave face). He was our only dog and we also don’t have DC so it feels like a huge void. The circumstances around his illness and death are really affecting me and I think counselling might be a good idea to help me work through it. In the space of a couple of months we went from having a happy, healthy boy with years ahead of him, to making the decision to PTS.

When we got his ashes back we scattered them in one of his favourite places where he could run free and chase his ball without a care in the world.

He was the most wonderful friend to us. He loved sunbathing, collecting sticks, and ‘helping’ me to chop veg (standing in the way and helping to pick up any pieces I ‘accidentally’ dropped). He hated the rain. He was a big strong boy, but would tiptoe timidly around the garden whenever it drizzled.

During his final days we were absolutely certain we could never go through this again and would never get another dog. We will definitely give it some time, but I do think we will probably get another one in a few months. Our house doesn’t feel like a home anymore.

It’s truly devastating, 7 months in I’m just coming out the other side, I still think and talk about her all the time and I have my little alter beside me, her ashes, paw print, lock of fur, picture and collar, it brings me comfort and I can now talk about her and look at her pictures without tears (mostly). It’s taken a long time to get to this place of acceptance, for some it will come sooner, I hope it does for you OP I’m so sorry for your loss .

I felt exactly the same when I had my girl out to sleep, she was only ten which didn’t feel that old, I always thought I would have longer with her, she became unwell pretty quickly and I had to make the decision pretty quickly, I often question my choice though I know deep down it was the right one.

It took me a long time to get used to her not being here and I kept picturing what happened the day she went. It does get easier, after a couple weeks I was able to look back through photos and smile instead of cry. I still have her collar 5 years after she went, I still talk to her and look back at photos.

Yes we have kept a few of his things and we’re going to create a little memory box for him.

I look forward to the time when I can think about him and talk about him without getting upset. It feels a long way off 😢

There are no words OP ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🐾🐾

You never EVER forget that moment of the drugs kicking in as a familiar goes to sleep for the last time.
I can picture every one I've been through.
Going back nearly 20 years.

You also NEVER know how long it will be till you are ready for the next companion.
My most recent gap was four weeks. It was mad but it was perfect.

He sounds like a lovely boy OP ❤️

My dad loves dogs but after losing two in a year (both elderly) he said he wouldn’t get another because it was too hard at the end. All I’d say is it’s a testament to how much love and joy they bring you! The pain is just a reflection of how much love you have for them and that’s both incredibly hard and a wonderful thing at the same time.

I still wouldn’t have swapped the pain at the end for the 13 years of love and happiness I had though. Try and remember that ❤️

I still wouldn’t have swapped the pain at the end for the 13 years of love and happiness I had though.

Absolutely, me and DH have said this a lot recently. We’re so glad he was ours.

The Blue cross bereavement service was helpful to me, lovely responses to my agonised guilt-ridden communications. It was hard to get over the "I killed my lovely dog" feelings, even though with both of mine (one at 13 and his sister at 15) the vets told me it was time. 4 and 2 years later respectively I still sometimes torment myself asking "what if the vet was wrong" and "should I have tried for second opinions, and spent every last penny on keeping them alive". However, I feel certain if I'm thinking rationally that it's better that they didn't suffer, and better a little early than too late. I'm just getting to the stage of contemplating a new canine friend. Best wishes to you, at some point you will be able to recall happy memories without getting devastated.

Our insurers mentioned the Blue Cross service @Yllasin, I might give them a call.

I have very similar feelings. Don’t want to go into detail, but I do feel huge guilt and keep wondering whether we could’ve saved him if we’d tried harder, or given him more time, even though he was suffering. Especially because of his age. I think I’d be more at peace with the decision if he’d been 12 or 13.

Hope you're doing ok op. I've I've a thread on the pets page as we had our gorgeous boy pts on 17th. I'm wracked with guilt over wishing I'd have done more and my boy wasn't even 7 yet! Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk through in private.

This may sound a bit mad but I often think of our wee boy while I'm out walking and I feel him bounding along with our current DDogs, light and painfree again, our love like an invisible long lead that will always bring him close whenever I think of him. A little troupe of dogs, some solid, some more ethereal, all running with joy alongside the humans who loved them so much.

This is exactly how I see/think of our dogs that have passed. Some walks, the sense of them running alongside as I walk the current dog, seems so strong.

I lost my last one when he was only 9 and it was very sudden. They leave such a hole in your heart and I would stare at where he used to lay as if I could will him to come back if I tried hard enough.
You’ve given your dog a great life and he was lucky to have you x

Sorry to hear you also lost your lovely boy just before Christmas @Jk24. Our boy was 8, so yes definitely not 'old'. I think that's where a lot of my sadness is stemming from. He really should've had longer with us.

I keep looking at the empty space where his bed used to be. I'm reminded of him so often and it still hurts every time.

Back to work this week and just feeling completely depleted. I hate all the 'how was your Christmas?' conversations. I have to lie because if I told the truth I'd be in tears constantly.

Oh @Jk24 I feel exactly the same, it’s awful isn’t it. I don’t know how I’m getting through the days. I’m going through the motions, trying to get outside etc but I almost feel numb. We also WFH - feeling the loss of his presence immensely today.

Yes ours was a shock diagnosis, and treatment didn’t work as it should have. We had so much hope 😞 the guilt and sadness is overwhelming. Was it similar for your dog?