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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

When is the best time to have our old dog out to sleep?

49 replies

AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:43

DH and I are in two different frames of mind.

Dog is nearly 11, she is a big breed dog. She's urine incontinent (on medication to reduce this), going blind because of cataracts, and can't go very far on walks. Her body is covered in lumps, so far none are malignant and she sometimes struggles to get up quickly if she needs to. I'm not sure if she has doggy Alzheimer's as she wanders around, coming and going into certain rooms as if she's forgot where she is. She does have moments where she runs and jumps and plays, these are getting less as the weeks go on.

Last year she wasn't well and thought it was time, but she got a new zest for life for a bit, and has again started to decline.

I want to have her put to sleep before the year is out, I think it is kinder for her to go while she isn't suffering too much. DH wants to keep her around for as long as possible.

Spoke to vet who wasn't very helpful, think he was trying to give pros and cons for us both, but failed.

OP posts:
Original poster
AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:43

Title should say PUT to sleep

OP posts:
Pewpewbarneymcgrew · 29/10/2023 16:44

Is she in pain ? What is her quality of life ?

aliasname · 29/10/2023 16:45

Look for a quality of life assessment for dogs online and fill out daily or weekly. There are several kinds, choose one which seems most appropriate for you and your dog.

margotrose · 29/10/2023 16:48

Personally, I would start looking at having her PTS sooner rather than later.

Dementia, urinary incontinence and struggling to stand are all signs that she's not comfortable. I think it's much better to PTS a week too soon than a day too late - dogs have no concept of mortality and she won't understand that she could be "missing out" as it were.

I'm so sorry - it's the worst decision Flowers

Original poster
AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:49

Don't think she is in pain, does moan when she lies down or gets up from lying down. Eats fine, loves a treat. Only walks once a day now and doesn't seem to mind when the other dogs go out without her. Loves sunning herself in the garden.

Ill look up the assessment form, never heard of one, thanks.

OP posts:
Sprig1 · 29/10/2023 16:50

Better a month too soon than a day too late.

awkwardturtle · 29/10/2023 16:50

So sorry you're getting to this point. I felt so guilty when I realised that I left our lovely dog go on too long and would just caution against this. If you search online there's a useful point based checklist which can help you make a decision.

margotrose · 29/10/2023 16:51

Don't think she is in pain, does moan when she lies down or gets up from lying down.

I am really sorry but this is a classic sign of pain in dogs. At 11 years old, she's elderly for a large breed and it would be incredibly unlikely that she is not suffering with some form of joint pain or arthritis.

SpaceRaiders · 29/10/2023 16:54

A much loved Ddog in the family had a seizure last week, he was 15. He was incontinent, blind in one eye, he could barely walk and was on so much medication that I felt heartbroken for him, the last couple of years or so weren’t good and if he were mine I’d have made the difficult decision much much sooner.

Original poster
AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:57

margotrose · 29/10/2023 16:51

Don't think she is in pain, does moan when she lies down or gets up from lying down.

I am really sorry but this is a classic sign of pain in dogs. At 11 years old, she's elderly for a large breed and it would be incredibly unlikely that she is not suffering with some form of joint pain or arthritis.

When I say moaning, it's not a whine or painful one, more akin to when old people sit down or stand up if that makes sense. I'd hate to think it was pain and I've been ignoring it ☹️

OP posts:
CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 29/10/2023 16:57

I’m a cat person, not a dog person (scared) but we had our cat pts last year. As I’ve got a bit of vet education I was in charge of deciding when and we did it the same day he stopped doing the following:

  1. Eating
  2. Drinking
  3. Being able to jump or climb onto a chair
  4. Doing a little patrol of his territory in the evenings
  5. Purring when fussed
  6. Looking generally healthy (he was thin towards the end but clear eyes, clean fur)
  7. Seeking attention (he was a very sociable cat).

Obvuously he didn’t stop doing them all at once but I drew up that checklist and said as soon as he didn’t do one he was going to the vet’s for the final time. He wandered around a bit creaky and elderly for a while, still enjoying life, but the morning he woke up and didn’t want to snuggle or play and wouldn’t purr or touch his food (it happened all on the same day) that was the time.

We would probably have had him put to sleep fairly quickly if he had become incontinent.

You know your dog, so my advice would be as soon as he really isn’t himself any more or shows signs that life is just tiring/painful/unpleasant that’s the time. It’s really one of the best ways to go, it’s almost instantaneous and they feel nothing.

AnnaMagnani · 29/10/2023 17:01

AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:57

When I say moaning, it's not a whine or painful one, more akin to when old people sit down or stand up if that makes sense. I'd hate to think it was pain and I've been ignoring it ☹️

Show quote history

Really sorry but old people who make a noise when they get up or sit down are in pain.

The more you are in pain, the less you tend to make a noise about it as it's become normal for you. It doesn't mean it hurts less.

Honestly an incontinent, partially sighted dog, who can't do much of the things that dogs enjoy and is more than likely in pain - the most loving thing is to let her go.

DiaNaranja · 29/10/2023 17:01

Currently in the same predicament op, with our two (16 & 17 years old) and it's so hard to know. Like yours they still have the odd lively, playful moment, but spend most of each day asleep, only waking to go out for a wee (the waking done by us on a timer, as they don't remember to ask to go out anymore) I feel they have little quality of life now, blind, deaf, and just seen to live for dinnertime, but nothing actually wrong with them as such... just really really old. I've heard alot of people say how it's better to do it a day too early than a day too late, but how do you know if it's a year too early?! Just solidarity, as I've been thinking "the time must be soon" for the past few years, but they never seem to go downhill enough for me to make that decision, and know it's 100% the right one. I feel I'd have tremendous guilt doing it at the moment as they aren't ill as such, but equally don't want to wait until they're in pain and suffering. Such a hard thing to consider, and something that seems a million years away when you bring that puppy home, time just goes so quickly 😢. I'd never have another dog again, as it's literally heartbreaking watching them get so old and reach the end of their life. Sending solidarity x

margotrose · 29/10/2023 17:02

AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:57

When I say moaning, it's not a whine or painful one, more akin to when old people sit down or stand up if that makes sense. I'd hate to think it was pain and I've been ignoring it ☹️

Show quote history

That is pain OP. I'm really sorry.

Whitegrenache · 29/10/2023 17:02

This was us 2 weeks ago. We agonised for weeks as as a family as to when to make the decision, as our ddog was still having some moments of happiness but largely spend his time sleeping and farting! He had arthritis and was struggling to get up and down and had also soiled in the house a few times. We made the decision as a family (2teens) and the vet came to our home and gave him a sedative and he fell asleep in my arms then the injection worked within seconds. It was so peaceful.

It was totally the right decision for us.

Remember rather a month early than a day too late.

pickledandpuzzled · 29/10/2023 17:02

Honestly as soon as you start to wonder, you need to plan. He needs you both to be brave.

He can’t tell you, and he’s actually got an instinct to disguise his discomfort so the pack don’t chase him off.

Also, he can go downhill really fast and you end up having to do things in an upsetting rush. Don’t let that happen.

Paperbagsaremine · 29/10/2023 17:16

You could go together to the vet, and get them to throw anything and everything at DDog that could improve her quality of life. Meloxicam, special food if her liver or kidney function is fading, heated bed, blah blah blah.

It's ok to be old, and a bit creaky, and sleep most of the time.

If there's pain that never goes away, if there are issues that mean DDog gets little to nothing out of life, that's a different matter.

You can whack dog nappies on her if problems with incontinence are stressing you rather than her.

It doesn't take a lot of time to schedule a vet to put a pet to sleep, unless it's very different where you are. You're right to be preparing mentally for it, but it's not something that - practically - needs a huge run up.

Our senior dog had quite a few issues but the vets dealt with them all, until his last week or so where it became clear over the course of a couple of days that the last things they'd done for him would only tide him over for a very short while.

Unless your DH is particularly prone to not seeing what's in front of him, you may both be right ... in that when the day actually comes, you will agree. It could be just that you are more of a planner.

Lizzieregina · 29/10/2023 17:21

When he no longer seems to enjoy 3 of his 5 favorite things, or is indicating extreme discomfort.

Dogs usually love food, walks, car rides, playtime, treats etc. If he’s losing interest in most, then it might be time to consider the end.

Also, as a pet owner, this is your biggest responsibility and the biggest kindness you can do for a beloved family member.

I’m sorry you’re getting there.

Original poster
AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 17:24

Thank you everyone for your replies, they've certainly helped, and I will be raising some points with DH. He is very attached to the dog, so struggling with the thought of her not being here.

I do think we will be putting her to sleep before the end of the year.

OP posts:
CarrieMoonbeams · 29/10/2023 17:38

It's very much a personal thing of course, but I have 3 general things that I look for (obviously tumours etc would be different, but I've never had a dog with that):

  1. are they eating and drinking as normal
  2. are they clean in the house (you mentioned treatment for urinary incontinence - Propalin drops? - but to me that's very different from general peeing)
  3. are they still happy to go for a little walk

When we get 2 out of the 3 as a "no" then I start to think it's time. 😔

I have 6 dogs, mostly rescues, and often take on a "golden oldie", so sadly I have more experience than I'd like to have in this situation.

It's such a hard decision to make, I really feel for you and your DH.

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 29/10/2023 17:43

I really don’t want to sound callous, OP, but “if you love them, let them go” applies when an animal is suffering. Your DP will unfortunately have to deal with the loss of your dog sooner or later and it’s so much better to have a peaceful drifting off to sleep around people he loves, and then be at peace forever, rather than a confusing, possibly painful and drawn-out death. It’s so much kinder. Animals at the end of life can be agonised, bewildered, frightened… one day too early is much better than one too late.

Missingmyusername · 29/10/2023 17:49

I have an elderly lab. I’ve spoken to the vet about him, I don’t want him to suffer.
Vet said if he can’t get up unaided, stops eating, drinking, whines, messes himself.
He can’t walk far, he has Librela, paracetamol, Gabapentin and galliprant. He still plays, wags his tail.
He’s still very with it, so as long as he isn’t in pain (no doubt there’s some discomfort as he has arthritis). I don’t think he’s ready yet.

IngGenius · 29/10/2023 18:08

For me it is more what they have stopped doing rather than what they can still do.

Some dogs will continue to eat and go on walks until they are nearly dropping.

Do they still greet you when you come in, are they interested in the other animals in the household and do they still interact with them for example

Do they do the normal things that they used to do, it may be follow you around the house, or run to the door if the doorbell rings for example.

Think what they have stopped doing really helps me to make difficult decisions

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 29/10/2023 21:18

We had said that if our dog became incontinent, stopped wanting to go for walks, couldn't get up on the couch, stopped enjoying his food, then we would know it was time for a hard conversation with the vet.
Liver cancer took the decision away as our boy went downhill very quickly and it was only 3 days from first audible pain to his going over the bridge. He'd only been about 4 weeks before for his jags and got a clean bill of health. He was still happy and wanting to go on walks, and eating toast right up until the end. Far better a week early than a day late.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 29/10/2023 21:26

Think about why you are keeping them alive - I think in many cases it is more about us being selfish and wanting to delay the heartache of losing our pet for as long as possible.
When our pets live with some pain and fear and stressful experiences like vet visits & medications because they are ageing and losing their senses & faculties we have to challenge ourselves.
Giving our pets an independent life lived free of pain and stress (incontinence can be very traumatic for a dog who knows they are doing something 'wrong' when they can't control where they toilet) and then a peaceful pain free end - that is our responsibility.